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Season 3 - Episode 7 - Alucinor

8/11/2015

1 Comment

 

LIU Atlas - Alucinor

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There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 


                                                              LIU Atlas - Alucinor

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
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Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance "Doog” McDoogal. After a series of interruptions, we’ve finally reached our intended destination, a Agricultural World called Alucinor. Alucinor is a warm, tropical planet deep in the Outer Rim.”
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Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off near a small home deep in Alucinor’s tropical zone. My guide, one of the few locals that speaks basic, is supposed to meet me here. Right now, all I see is this cow. Are you my guide?”
Cow: “Moo.”
Doog: “Agreed. It is hot here…”
Wirriam: “Doog, over here. I’m your guide.”
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Doog: “Ah, good. I was hoping the cow wasn’t my guide - a few hours with that guy, and I was guaranteed to accidentally poke my eye out.”
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Wirriam: “Welcome to Alucinor, Doog. I am Wirriam.”
Doog: “What are you doing? Is there something on my shoes? There are a lot of cows around here you know.”
Wirriam: “No. Here, it is customary to bow to show respect.”
Doog: “Well, whenever you’re finished, let me know. Then, we’ll get this show on the road.”
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Doog: “So what can you tell me about Alucinor?”
Wirriam: “Well, as you’ve heard, Alucinor is an Agricultural Planet. Our warm climate and ample water supply allow us to grow many different types of crops. Of course, we used to grow only what we needed, but now that we are part of the LIU, we use most of our land to grow excess crops for profit.”
Doog: “I’ve heard that same old sob story a time or two. So, what’s on the agenda?”
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Wirriam: “Well, I figured we‘d head into town. Maybe see some of our agriculture on the way.”
Doog: “Sounds like a blast. I’m guessing that these cows are part of said agriculture?”
Wirriam: “No. The cows are strictly beasts of burden. Although the Alucinorian Cow is larger than most cows, their bodies yield little usable meat, and the meat that can be gathered isn’t very tasty.”
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Wirriam: “This path leads to one of our city centers.  Along the road, you’ll see some of our various forms of agriculture, such as cotton, bamboo, and herbs.”
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Wirriam: “None of these are our primary crop, but they are still an important part of Alucinor’s profitable agricultural system.”
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Doog: “Ooh, this should be an interesting insight into some of Alucinor’s culture. Who has the right of way on roads, people or cows?”
Wirriam: “Surely there are greater cultural insights into Alucinor, but if you must know, I generally yield to the thousand pound, sharp horned cows. You are more than welcome to challenge this cultural phenomenon.”
Doog: “Nah, I’m feeling too lazy today. Let’s just let them pass.”
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Doog: “I think I’ve seen enough agriculture for now. Let’s check out the town.”
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Wirriam: “The towns of Alucinor have few residents. Most Alucinorians, to save time and energy, live close to the fields that they tend. These towns have a few shops and stores, but they mostly serve as a communal gathering place.”
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Doog: “Do these ’communal gathering places’ have anything worth checking out? You know, like brothels or massage parlors?”
Wirriam: “No! These gathering places are more devoted to spiritual interaction, such as the red temple to your left.”
Doog: “Hey, I’ve had spiritual interactions at brothels. This one time, this chick was dressed like a n…, ah forget it. Let’s move on.”
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Wirriam: “This gate, at the end of town, leads to one of Alucinor’s most sacred, and profitable, areas - the flower fields.”
Doog: “Ah man, I thought we were done with agriculture…”
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Wirriam: “Here, we grow our primary crop, the Alucinor Opioid Flower.”
Doog: “I guess you guys make a lot of money on Valentine’s and Mother’s Day.”
Wirriam: “No. No. The Opioid Flower, also known as the Silly Lily, is not for decorative purposes. Its pedals contain a strong, narcotic chemical that is used as a pain killer. My people use the flowers for spiritual purposes, but the LIU processes the chemicals to make prescription drugs.”
Doog: “It looks like things just got a bit more interesting…”
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Wirriam: “The flowers, which require waist deep water to grow, originated in the wet swamplands of Alucinor’s southern hemisphere. The limited space in the southern swamps hampered production, and we could not grow enough flowers to meet the LIU’s demand.  To increase production, we’ve created millions of artificial pools, like these, across much of the planet.”
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Wirriam: “The flowers are too delicate to be processed by machinery and must be picked by hand.”
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Doog: “You were saying something about spiritual use earlier. Maybe we should check that out?”
Wirriam: “You didn’t seem so interested in our temples and spiritual endeavors earlier. Why the change of heart?”
Doog: “What? Of course I was interested.”
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Doog: “Well folks, I’ve talked Wirriam into returning to the town’s temple. It’s time to see what the Alucinor culture is all about. I’ve never been so interested in my life.”
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Wirriam: “Have a seat.”
Doog: “Let’s get this party started.”
Wirriam: “Shhh. This is a time of reflection. Seek your inner self.”
Doog: “Yeah, but when do we get…”
Wirriam: “Shhh.”
Doog: “How long do I…”
Wirriam: “Shhh.”
Doog: “But…”
Wirriam: “Shhh!”
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Wirriam: “The route to one’s inner-self is often barricaded by fear and worries. The flower will aid you in bypassing these road blocks. Take the Sacred Scepter.”
Doog: “No explanation needed. I’ve handled a sacred scepter or two in my lifetime.”
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Wirriam: “This flower, while small and delicate, contains the key to one’s mind. Its subtle…”
Doog: “Less talking, more loading.”
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Wirriam: “Its fiery destruction begets your new purposeful life. Inhale the secrets of self. Whoa! Not that much, Doog! You’re smoking the whole thing!”
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Doog: “Holy @&$%, that’s some strong stuff. Well folks, Alucinor is a great place. One might even say wonderful. Hehe, wond…wond…wond…woooon… What a great word. Wond…won…won…hehehe.”





Note:
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Doog: “Hehehehe. Hehehehe. Hehehehe.”


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