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Season 4 - Episode 8 - Udo Messis

8/11/2015

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LIU Atlas - Udo Messis

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There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 


                                                            LIU Atlas - Udo Messis


The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.


This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
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Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting Udo Messis, home of the Meteo race. The Meteo once ruled fifty star systems in this spiral arm. This collection of stars, known as the Meteon Kingdom, was absorbed into the LIU during the Mid Rim Unification War. However, as part of the peace treaty, the Meteo retained some autonomy over their former worlds.”
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Doog: “Udo Messis’ surface consists primarily of sandstone, and supports very little life. However, the large, deep pools that dot the surface are home to many species, including the Meteo. Unlike the other creatures, the Meteo needed to move from pool to pool to locate mates, and they evolved the ability to breathe in both water and air.”
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Doog: “A large city called Demersae encircles the planet’s largest pool. It’s here that I will meet my guide.”
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Goob: “What are you doing here mammal!”
Doog: “Hey! Get your slimy tentacles off me squid head!”
Goob: “Doog! Old buddy, you’ve lost none of your charm!”
Doog: “Same goes for you Goob. Folks, may I proudly introduce my old college buddy, Krix “Goob” Jagoober. Goob and I attended the same Media University, and he’s now a well known TV host himself.”
Goob: “Ha, nothing like you, Doog. My show is hardly syndicated outside the Meteon Kingdom. And I’m the one that actually graduated!”
Doog: “Hey, let’s not go there. No one told me attendance was required.”
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Doog: “So, what’s in store old friend?”
Goob: “Well, Udo Messis is home to many important industries, but I figured we’d skip the usual routine and focus a bit more on the planet’s culture.”
Doog: “Thanks goodness. I read up a little before I came. I know Udo Messis is primarily a agricultural world.”
Goob: “Ha. You can read? Well, you’re right. Udo Messis is sort of the breadbasket for the Meteon Kingdom. I’ve prepared some stock footage of some of our agriculture so we can speed right through it.”
Doog: “Perfect.”
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Goob: “All of Udo Messis’ agriculture takes place underwater. The pools support hundreds of native, edible plants.”
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Goob: “My people are vegetarians, and we only eat sea plants.”
Doog: “Everyone has their faults.”
Goob: “Of course, part of our agreement with the LIU requires that we also start harvesting the other native sea creatures, like clams.”
Doog: “Aren’t clams like your distant cousins?”
Goob: “Very funny…”,
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Goob: “Most of the work is done by automated collectors like this. My race specializes in robotics. While food is our primary export within the kingdom, robotics is our primary export to the LIU.”
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Doog: “Well, that was painless. What now?”
Goob: “I figured we grab a bite to eat. Let’s catch a Robo-Rickshaw.”
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Robo: “Input destination.”
Goob: “Uptown. Food district. Uh…how about Au Restaurant.”
Robo: “Confirmed.”
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Goob: “Uptown is home to most of the city’s businesses and corporations. The food district is one of my favorite areas. Best food in the kingdom.”
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Goob: “That restaurant on the left has some of the best kelp burgers in the universe. Unfortunately, it’s a little too expensive for our tastes. I’m assuming I’ll be paying.”
Doog: “Just like at college…”
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Goob: “The food district also has several small stands for citizens to purchase fresh food to bring back home. In case you want to stock up your ship.”
Doog: “I don’t think we have room for veggies. The crew and I are mostly carnivores.”
Goob: “Gotcha.”
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Goob: “Here it is, Au Restaurant.”
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Goob: “I know you’re a carnivore, but try to give this a chance. This dish is a Meteo favorite, coral stems and sea berries.”
Doog: “You like putting stems and berries in your mouth?”
Goob: “How did I know you‘d go there?”
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Doog: “What’s the green stuff?”
Goob: “Oh, it’s a synthetic alcohol derived from algae. All the fun, none of the hangover.”
Doog: “Man, we could have used that back at school. I may have made it to class more.”
Goob: “Want some?”
Doog: “Would the Emperor murder your whole family for a dollar?”
Goob: “I’m guessing that’s a ‘yes’.”
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Cook: “Open wide. More berry coming to your mouth.”
Doog: “No, no. No more. I’m full and alcohol is moving right through me. Besides, you almost took out my eye with that last one.”
Goob: ‘Bathroom is down the hall to the left.”
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Doog: “Nothing stuck in the moustache. That’s a first.”
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Doog: “Uh, excuse me robot. Where are the toilets?”
Robo-Wiper: “Input waste delivery number.”
Doog: “Uh…I have to do a number two.”
Robo-Wiper: “Two is not defined. Input waste delivery number. Zero or one.”
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Doog: “Hmm. Is a Meteo one equal to a human two? Or is a number one universal? Screw it. One. I have to one.”
Robo-Wiper: “Ah. Please sit on the waste removal tentacle.”
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Robo-Wiper: “When you finish. I will tidy up your waste removal hole.”
Doog: “You know what…I’ll just hold it.”
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Goob: “Haha. I wish I could have seen your face. I thought about warning you, but this was too funny to pass up.”
Doog: “Laugh it up Goob. So, what’s next.”
Goob: “I figured we‘d head to the Civil District. See some history.”
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Goob: “This is the Archive Building. It’s home to some of the Meteon Kingdom’s greatest treasures.”
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Doog: “This is it? Where’s the treasure?”
Goob: “This room is the treasure. The Meteon Kingdom started right here. My people drafted a resolution that insured equal rights for each of the kingdom’s worlds. The symbol on the floor was the kingdom’s emblem. Every world, whether it be an agricultural world, an energy world, or whatever, was equal and afforded the same rights. They all encircled Udo Messis, seen as black.”
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Goob: “The original resolutions sits on the podium right behind you.”
Doog: “It’s useless now, right?”
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Goob: “More or less. The LIU’s policies overwrite most of the resolution’s core values, but with the autonomy granted by the LIU, we try to operate as close to the resolution as possible. You’ll also notice that our emblem has changed. I’m sure you’ve seen this new emblem around town. The basic hexagon is still there, but it is disconnected and unequal. The LIU places more weight on profitable worlds. Also, you’ll note that there are two entities in the middle now. One represents the Kingdom and the other represents the LIU.”
Doog: ‘Still, things do seem a bit better here.”
Goob: “I guess.”
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Goob: “To finish things off, I figured we’d head downtown.”
Doog: “What? Are we taking a train or something?”
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Goob: “Nope. The lower level of the city is known as downtown. Follow me.”
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Goob: “Downtown is home to the city’s residential districts. The huge windows down here let in the natural pool light. It allows us to feel closer to our natural environment.”
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Goob: “There are also several airlocks to allow the residents to swim in the waters.”
Doog: “Great stuff Goob. I’m glad I got to see you again. Maybe one of these days you can accompany me to my homeworld.”
Goob: “I’d like that. See ya buddy.”
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Doog: “Well folks, Udo Messis is a special place. It’s home to the Meteon Robotics Industry, which is a huge earner for the LIU. It has a vast agricultural industry that supports the fifty worlds in its former kingdom, and it serves as an example of how worlds can hold on to some of their oldest traditions despite being forced into the LIU’s economic society. See ya next time.”

Note:
Yes, we know the mirror in the restaurant is somewhat faulty...”



CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT EPISODE: Season 4 - Episode 9 - Foetida
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