LIU Atlas - Iocale
There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Iocale
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Iocale
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today we’re visiting the watery world of Iocale. Iocale is an ocean world, meaning that its entire surface is covered in ocean. However, Iocale’s most distinguishing characteristic isn’t its ocean, but its cavernous mantle. Billions of years of ocean currents have carved out large chambers in the planet’s upper mantle. These deep, dark chambers are home to huge deposits of valuable jewels. In fact, the name Iocale has become synonymous with jewels, gems, and precious stones.”
Doog: “Tidal forces from Iocale’s close moon, Thadal, create extremely rough seas. You wouldn’t want to take the family sailing here. These tidal forces and the thermal differentials in the water are responsible for the aforementioned ocean currents. In the distance, you can see one of Iocale’s four trading hubs. These hubs connect the aquatic Iocalean race - and their goods - to the LIU.”
Doog: “Alright folks, we’ve landed the Magellan on the hub’s landing pad. It’s time to get this show started.”
IIB: “Welcome Doog. I’m IIB, an Iocalean Interface Bot.”
Doog: “Look, I don’t give autographs to robots. No offense, it’s just my policy. Why don’t you go motor off and find my guide.”
IIB: “I am your guide Doog. The Iocalean people are an aquatic race. I’m afraid their vocal structures do not allow them to speak outside of the water. And, even if they could, I doubt you speak Iocalese.”
Doog: “That’s a safe assumption.”
Doog: “Look, I don’t give autographs to robots. No offense, it’s just my policy. Why don’t you go motor off and find my guide.”
IIB: “I am your guide Doog. The Iocalean people are an aquatic race. I’m afraid their vocal structures do not allow them to speak outside of the water. And, even if they could, I doubt you speak Iocalese.”
Doog: “That’s a safe assumption.”
Doog: “So, if the Iocalean species is so aquatic, how are they surviving up here?”
IIB: “Specialized suits maintain pressure and provide water for breathing. They find it a bit uncomfortable, but a necessary part of the integration with the LIU.”
Doog: “Uncomfortable, huh? Is that what the guns are for? To off themselves when it becomes too unbearable?”
IIB: “No, of course not. The guns are part of the defense protocol. Iocale has some of the richest deposits of jewels in the LIU Galaxy. These valuable jewels must be protected at all costs. These substations, or hubs, are the only direct link between the surface and the subsurface. A chokepoint if you will. You‘ll find these areas to be highly defended.”
IIB: “Specialized suits maintain pressure and provide water for breathing. They find it a bit uncomfortable, but a necessary part of the integration with the LIU.”
Doog: “Uncomfortable, huh? Is that what the guns are for? To off themselves when it becomes too unbearable?”
IIB: “No, of course not. The guns are part of the defense protocol. Iocale has some of the richest deposits of jewels in the LIU Galaxy. These valuable jewels must be protected at all costs. These substations, or hubs, are the only direct link between the surface and the subsurface. A chokepoint if you will. You‘ll find these areas to be highly defended.”
IIB: “In order to transition from the surface to the subsurface, we’ll have to take an Elevator Safe. If you will allow me to enter a few thousand passcodes, we’ll begin our descent.”
IBB: “It will be here any minute.”
Doog: “Don’t put your arms around me, IIB. Unless you’re a woman robot…”
Doog: “Don’t put your arms around me, IIB. Unless you’re a woman robot…”
IIB: “The heavily armored Elevator Safe will take us to the sub-surface. The ride lasts approximately twenty six minutes. You may want to get comfortable.”
Doog: “Twenty six minutes! What slow-minded idiot developed this elevator!”
IIB: “I assure you, this elevator can descend much more quickly, especially if I were alone. Unfortunately, with a biological species onboard, the elevator must descend slowly to equalize pressure as we go. Otherwise, your head may explode.”
Doog: “Twenty six minutes with you, and my head may explode anyway…”
Doog: “Twenty six minutes! What slow-minded idiot developed this elevator!”
IIB: “I assure you, this elevator can descend much more quickly, especially if I were alone. Unfortunately, with a biological species onboard, the elevator must descend slowly to equalize pressure as we go. Otherwise, your head may explode.”
Doog: “Twenty six minutes with you, and my head may explode anyway…”
Doog: “So, would you like to play a game to pass the time?”
IIB: “Like what?”
Doog: “I don’t know…wait…I got it. I spy something…yellow.”
IIB: “Is it myself?”
Doog: “Sigh. I hate playing games with robots.”
IIB: “Ooh, I got one. I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 01010.”
Doog: “What! I’m not playing that. Those odds are astronomical. I’ll never guess it!”
IIB: “What do you mean? There’s a ten percent chance.”
Doog: “Where did you learn math?”
IIB: “Perhaps we should utilize this time to get you suited up instead of playing games. After the halfway point, the safe will begin to fill with water.”
IIB: “Like what?”
Doog: “I don’t know…wait…I got it. I spy something…yellow.”
IIB: “Is it myself?”
Doog: “Sigh. I hate playing games with robots.”
IIB: “Ooh, I got one. I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 01010.”
Doog: “What! I’m not playing that. Those odds are astronomical. I’ll never guess it!”
IIB: “What do you mean? There’s a ten percent chance.”
Doog: “Where did you learn math?”
IIB: “Perhaps we should utilize this time to get you suited up instead of playing games. After the halfway point, the safe will begin to fill with water.”
IIB: “Was it really necessary for me to turn away while you get dressed? I have multi-spectrum vision that can see through your clothes. Not that there’s much to see…”
Doog: “It’s still bigger than yours. Ha!”
IIB: “…”
Doog: “I thought that would shut you up.”
Doog: “It’s still bigger than yours. Ha!”
IIB: “…”
Doog: “I thought that would shut you up.”
IIB: “Welcome to the subsurface. We’ve descended over 500 meters to reach the ocean floor. Most of the light you are seeing is artificial. We are near the end of the euphotic zone. Very little sunlight reaches this point.”
Doog: “We are also at the end of the tolerance zone. That’s where I stop tolerating a robot’s use of big words like ‘euphotic’ that I don’t understand.”
IIB: “Who knew that such a puerile being could exhibit such bellicosity.”
Doog: “Sigh.”
Doog: “We are also at the end of the tolerance zone. That’s where I stop tolerating a robot’s use of big words like ‘euphotic’ that I don’t understand.”
IIB: “Who knew that such a puerile being could exhibit such bellicosity.”
Doog: “Sigh.”
Doog: “So, where are all the mines and jewels and junk? What am I supposed to be seeing?”
IIB: “The mines are located in caverns inside the planet’s mantle. We’re still on the planet’s crust. We’ll make our way there eventually, but there is someone who wants to meet you first.”
IIB: “The mines are located in caverns inside the planet’s mantle. We’re still on the planet’s crust. We’ll make our way there eventually, but there is someone who wants to meet you first.”
IIB: “Ah, here he comes now. May I present the Sultan of Iocale, Boogily Oogle Hin.”
Doog: “Ha! Is that really his name?”
IIB: “A close approximation. I’m afraid that the languages differ too much phonically to make a onomatopoeic translation.”
Doog: “Ha! Is that really his name?”
IIB: “A close approximation. I’m afraid that the languages differ too much phonically to make a onomatopoeic translation.”
Sultan: “मुझे आश्चर्य है कि अगर किसी को भी इस अनुवाद के लिए परेशामुझे आश्चर्य है कि अगर किसी को भी इस अनुवाद के लिए परेशान“
IIB: “The Sultan expresses his gratitude for your visit. He hopes that your report to the LIU will be favorable. Hmm…he may be mistaken about your purpose. Let me clarify. वह सिर्फ एक टीवी होस्ट है.”
Sultan: “क्या समय की बर्बादी!”
IIB: “The Sultan feels that you have wasted his time with your TV show. He will be leaving now.”
Doog: “Thanks for clearing that up IIB. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m too important.”
IIB: “The Sultan expresses his gratitude for your visit. He hopes that your report to the LIU will be favorable. Hmm…he may be mistaken about your purpose. Let me clarify. वह सिर्फ एक टीवी होस्ट है.”
Sultan: “क्या समय की बर्बादी!”
IIB: “The Sultan feels that you have wasted his time with your TV show. He will be leaving now.”
Doog: “Thanks for clearing that up IIB. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m too important.”
IIB: “I guess it’s time to head to the mines now. The mines are spread across vast distances; the closest being five miles from here. To make travel easier, I have procured a propulsion device for you. I can give a brief instructional demonstration if you are unfamiliar with this device.”
Doog: “I happen to be an expert at propulsion devices, thank you. I don’t need any assistance from a robot.”
Doog: “I happen to be an expert at propulsion devices, thank you. I don’t need any assistance from a robot.”
IIB: “Ah, you certainly are an expert at the ‘getting dragged across the ground’ technique. Generally, users ride on top or lateral to the device, but if you prefer this method, we’ll get started.”
Doog: “I hate you.”
Doog: “I hate you.”
IIB: “Each mining camp has its own elevator to descend into the mantle. A lot of the mining tools are also stored up here, including the power generators and mining bots.”
Doog: “Mining bots?”
IIB: “Yes, on the charging platform over there.”
Doog: “So what do these bots mine? Jewels?”
IIB: “Yes, on the charging platform over there.”
Doog: “So what do these bots mine? Jewels?”
IIB: “Not any old jewel. We mine the most valuable jewel in the galaxy, the Iocalean Ruby. The pressures inside the mantle align the crystalline structure of the rubies into hyper-rubies. Perfect clarity, perfect color.”
Doog: “Ah, rubies. A girl’s best friend.”
IIB: “Yes, but it wasn’t always so. Diamonds used to be the most popular jewel, until the discovery of their industrial uses - diamond lenses, diamond tipped drills, et cetera. After their industrial use became so prevalent, the market was flooded with diamonds, and they really lost their value. Rubies, with no use other than looking pretty, surpassed the diamond.”
Doog: “Thanks for the history of jewel value, nerd. Can we continue?”
Doog: “Ah, rubies. A girl’s best friend.”
IIB: “Yes, but it wasn’t always so. Diamonds used to be the most popular jewel, until the discovery of their industrial uses - diamond lenses, diamond tipped drills, et cetera. After their industrial use became so prevalent, the market was flooded with diamonds, and they really lost their value. Rubies, with no use other than looking pretty, surpassed the diamond.”
Doog: “Thanks for the history of jewel value, nerd. Can we continue?”
IIB: “Yes, let’s get started. There’s another thirty minute descent into the mantle.”
Doog: “You have to be kidding me.”
IIB: “Look on the bright side. We’ll get to play another fascinating game of I Spy. Perhaps you can choose green or black this time.”
Thirty minutes later…
Doog: “You have to be kidding me.”
IIB: “Look on the bright side. We’ll get to play another fascinating game of I Spy. Perhaps you can choose green or black this time.”
Thirty minutes later…
IIB: “Behold, the great ruby caverns of Iocale!”
Doog: “It’s just a cave. Settle down.”
Doog: “It’s just a cave. Settle down.”
IIB: “It’s not just a cave, Doog. This is a geological miracle!
Doog: “It’s a miracle that I haven’t disassembled you yet. Let’s make this quick. Maybe it’s the pressure or the suit, but I’m getting annoyed.”
Doog: “It’s a miracle that I haven’t disassembled you yet. Let’s make this quick. Maybe it’s the pressure or the suit, but I’m getting annoyed.”
IIB: “As you can see, the mining bots extract the valuable rubies from the mantle walls. This delicate operation is too dangerous for biological beings. Mistakes can lead to cave-ins or rapid depressurization of suits. Better to risk my brethren than actual life forms.”
IIB: “The bots must also be careful to leave columns of rock to support the mantle and crust above. It’s very dangerous work.”
Doog: “Very interesting IIB. I hope you guys keep up the good work. Shall we get the ascent started?”
IIB: “Yeah, I think that’s good idea. You have a limited air supply and the ascent takes twice as long as the descent.”
Doog: “What!”
IIB: “I’m afraid so. We must slowly depressurize your body, otherwise gaseous bubbles will form in your body, and you’ll get the bends.”
Doog: “Very interesting IIB. I hope you guys keep up the good work. Shall we get the ascent started?”
IIB: “Yeah, I think that’s good idea. You have a limited air supply and the ascent takes twice as long as the descent.”
Doog: “What!”
IIB: “I’m afraid so. We must slowly depressurize your body, otherwise gaseous bubbles will form in your body, and you’ll get the bends.”
Doog: “Well folks, I survived an hour long elevator ride with Captain Annoying, and I’m now back to the subsurface. Iocale is valuable world. Its production of rubies supports the fashion and jewelry demands of the LIU’s elite. Well, I have another hour long ascent with my best bud, so I’m going to get a move on. See ya!”
IIB: "Uh...you do know you have to give that ruby back, right?"
Note:
IIB: "Uh...you do know you have to give that ruby back, right?"
Note:
IIB: “I know how bored you were during our last ascent, so I came prepared this time. I figured we could play some Iocalean Chess to pass the time. Would you like me to explain the rules?”
Doog: “I happen to be an expert at Iocalean Chess, thank you. I don’t need any assistance from a robot.”
IIB: “Really? Alright then. You have the purple Sultan, so I believe you get the first move.”
Doog: “I happen to be an expert at Iocalean Chess, thank you. I don’t need any assistance from a robot.”
IIB: “Really? Alright then. You have the purple Sultan, so I believe you get the first move.”
Doog: “I’m going to move this little fella right here. Eat that!”
IIB: “Ooh, Socar’s Opening Gambit, a very risky move. How shall I ever counter that…”
IIB: “Ooh, Socar’s Opening Gambit, a very risky move. How shall I ever counter that…”
IIB: “…I think I’ll just move here and…let’s see…checkmate!”
Doog: “Wait! I can still move…nope. Dang it. Grrr! I hate playing against robots!”
IIB: “Would you prefer we play different game?”
Doog: “Yeah, I would. I Spy something that’s about to be broken!”
IIB: “Is it the record for fastest checkmate? Because I believe I have already broken that earlier.”
Doog: "GRR!”
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 6 - Fari Station 11
Doog: “Wait! I can still move…nope. Dang it. Grrr! I hate playing against robots!”
IIB: “Would you prefer we play different game?”
Doog: “Yeah, I would. I Spy something that’s about to be broken!”
IIB: “Is it the record for fastest checkmate? Because I believe I have already broken that earlier.”
Doog: "GRR!”
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 6 - Fari Station 11
