LIU Atlas - Jotunheim
There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas
LIU Atlas - Jötunheim
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Jötunheim
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to Season Six of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the lava world of Jötunheim. Jötunheim suffered a massive impact event about 60,000 years ago. The impact liquefied the planet’s crust and caused huge seismic shifts. Most parts of the planet have since solidified, but vast regions of lava still exist between Jötunheim’s tectonic plates.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off here at a work site near one of Jötunheim’s tectonic tears. I’ve been told to bring an environmental suit. The air here is breathable for short stints, but has unsafe levels of sulfur and carbon monoxide. Ah, I think I see my guide now.”
Doog: “Hey. Are you my guide?”
Smith: “Yes. I’m Colorado Smith, an archeologist with the Meditor Institute. You may have heard of my more famous cousin, Michigan Johnson.”
Doog: “Nope, sure haven’t, and the only thing I know about the Meditor Institute is its nickname, the Nerd-itor Institute.
Assumedly, you do something nerdy, and therefore boring...”
Smith: “Yes, I’ve heard all the sarcastic nicknames, Nerditor, Boreitor, Club Virgin, et cetera, but they are hardly fitting. The Meditor Institute is a research division of the LIU that focuses on historical studies, like archeology and paleontology. Sure, we don’t get as much street cred as the physicists or the chemists, but what we do is important.”
Doog: “And what is that?”
Smith: “We study extinct alien races and their cultures.”
Doog: “Any profit there?”
Smith: “Unfortunately no. Not unless we find some new form of technology, and that’s rare. Any sufficiently advanced race with technology new to us probably wouldn’t have gone extinct in the first place. I like to think that our studies do more than bring in money though. We help civilization learn about itself. We explain what it is to be alive. We…”
Doog: “You’re pretty lowly funded, aren’t you?”
Smith: “Yes. Well, let’s not dwell on that. Would you like to see what we’ve discovered here on Jötunheim?”
Doog: “Wait. You’ve found an extinct alien race here?”
Smith: “Yes. I’m Colorado Smith, an archeologist with the Meditor Institute. You may have heard of my more famous cousin, Michigan Johnson.”
Doog: “Nope, sure haven’t, and the only thing I know about the Meditor Institute is its nickname, the Nerd-itor Institute.
Assumedly, you do something nerdy, and therefore boring...”
Smith: “Yes, I’ve heard all the sarcastic nicknames, Nerditor, Boreitor, Club Virgin, et cetera, but they are hardly fitting. The Meditor Institute is a research division of the LIU that focuses on historical studies, like archeology and paleontology. Sure, we don’t get as much street cred as the physicists or the chemists, but what we do is important.”
Doog: “And what is that?”
Smith: “We study extinct alien races and their cultures.”
Doog: “Any profit there?”
Smith: “Unfortunately no. Not unless we find some new form of technology, and that’s rare. Any sufficiently advanced race with technology new to us probably wouldn’t have gone extinct in the first place. I like to think that our studies do more than bring in money though. We help civilization learn about itself. We explain what it is to be alive. We…”
Doog: “You’re pretty lowly funded, aren’t you?”
Smith: “Yes. Well, let’s not dwell on that. Would you like to see what we’ve discovered here on Jötunheim?”
Doog: “Wait. You’ve found an extinct alien race here?”
Smith: “Yes, a race we call the Jotun. My crew is about to head out to the dig site. Care to join us?”
Doog: “Yeah, I guess. I’m not too excited about your little transport over here. It looks like a flying park bench.”
Doog: “Yeah, I guess. I’m not too excited about your little transport over here. It looks like a flying park bench.”
Smith: “Yeah, it handles like one too. Better hold on tight. I told you we weren’t well funded…”
Doog: “What the? This is the Jotun? They’re enormous…”
Smith: “Yes. The bones we’ve found put them at around 54 feet tall, or about nine times taller than you.”
Doog: “Wow. That’s a little terrifying.”
Smith: “Yes. The bones we’ve found put them at around 54 feet tall, or about nine times taller than you.”
Doog: “Wow. That’s a little terrifying.”
Smith: “We’ve only been here about seven months, but we’ve already found several nearly complete Jotun skeletons. We’ve been able to piece together a lot about the Jotun just by studying there anatomy.”
Doog: “Like what?”
Smith: “Well, they are carnivores. Their arm to leg length ratio of 3:1, indicates that they probably crouched when they walked, using their arms as extra support.”
Doog: “Knuckle draggers huh?”
Doog: “Like what?”
Smith: “Well, they are carnivores. Their arm to leg length ratio of 3:1, indicates that they probably crouched when they walked, using their arms as extra support.”
Doog: “Knuckle draggers huh?”
Smith: “Yeah, I guess you could put it that way. I was going to say that they walked like apes. If you look closely at the hands, you’ll see the stress fractures near the finger joints. They must have weighed several tons.”
Doog: “Check out those claws!”
Smith: “Yeah, they were tridactyl. They have two fingers and an opposable thumb.”
Doog: “Check out those claws!”
Smith: “Yeah, they were tridactyl. They have two fingers and an opposable thumb.”
Smith: “We’ve been able to match particulates found between the Jotun’s teeth to some of the other animals we’ve found. They were probably meat eaters.”
Doog: “The best kind of eater.”
Doog: “The best kind of eater.”
Smith: “Yeah. Anyway, the brain cavity is rather small for this sized creature. Until our other discoveries, we had doubts about its intelligence and sentience.”
Doog: “What other discoveries?”
Smith: “Follow me.”
Doog: “What other discoveries?”
Smith: “Follow me.”
Smith: “We’ve found several small clusters of small animals like this. Mixed within the animals bones were bone fragments from the Jotun. It appears the Jotun had domesticated these animals.”
Doog: “These giant creatures ate these tiny things?”
Smith: “Why not? I mean, we eat squirrels and rats all the time.”
Doog: “Speak for yourself Colorado. I never intentionally eat squirrels or rats.”
Smith: “Oh. Uh, I guess I forgot what normal people eat. Did I mention the size of our budget?”
Doog: “These giant creatures ate these tiny things?”
Smith: “Why not? I mean, we eat squirrels and rats all the time.”
Doog: “Speak for yourself Colorado. I never intentionally eat squirrels or rats.”
Smith: “Oh. Uh, I guess I forgot what normal people eat. Did I mention the size of our budget?”
Smith: “By analyzing the these creatures’ fossilized excrement, we’ve been able to piece together some more details about Jötunheim’s environment in the pre-impact era. The planet was lush and sported a variety of plant-like organisms. We’ve identified nearly fifty different plant species.”
Doog: “Any chance you found enough DNA to resurrect any of these species? Perhaps the Jotun?”
Smith: “No. Probably not. There are too many gaps in the genetic code for us to resurrect any of these species, especially the complex Jotun. We’d probably see an increase in funding if that were possible.”
Doog: “Gotcha. So, anything else? Is this the only evidence of the Jotun’s intelligence?”
Smith: “Oh, no. There’s more. Much more. Shall we return to camp?”
Doog: “Any chance you found enough DNA to resurrect any of these species? Perhaps the Jotun?”
Smith: “No. Probably not. There are too many gaps in the genetic code for us to resurrect any of these species, especially the complex Jotun. We’d probably see an increase in funding if that were possible.”
Doog: “Gotcha. So, anything else? Is this the only evidence of the Jotun’s intelligence?”
Smith: “Oh, no. There’s more. Much more. Shall we return to camp?”
Smith: “There had to be a million better places to put our camp than on the edge of the lava, but unfortunately this is where we made the discovery. Mapping scans of this area revealed a huge chamber under the rock here.”
Doog: “Well, what was it? Don’t leave me hanging!”
Smith: “Come on, let’s see.”
Doog: “Sigh. All you guides and your dramatics…”
Doog: “Well, what was it? Don’t leave me hanging!”
Smith: “Come on, let’s see.”
Doog: “Sigh. All you guides and your dramatics…”
Smith: “It took us several weeks to bore our way into the chamber. To save money, we sealed up this tunnel, and we now use it as our camp.”
Doog: “Very homely.”
Smith: “Yeah, I guess. Alright. We‘re almost there.”
Doog: “Very homely.”
Smith: “Yeah, I guess. Alright. We‘re almost there.”
Smith: “Alas, we’re here, one of the Great Star Chambers of Jötunheim.”
Doog: “Amazing. This was built by the Jotun?”
Smith: “Yep. This one of six chambers we’ve found in this area. Each depicts a different area of the night sky. There
are only two chambers that are fully intact. Three have been heavily damaged, and one has been completely destroyed. It’s a shame.”
Doog: “So it’s like a star map?”
Smith: “Sort of. It’s more like a collection of constellations. It probably served a more religious purpose. Perhaps it even helped to foretell the seasons. More importantly, it has taught us a lot about the Jotun’s intelligence. They had art, architecture, a writing system, astronomy, and so on.”
Doog: “Amazing. This was built by the Jotun?”
Smith: “Yep. This one of six chambers we’ve found in this area. Each depicts a different area of the night sky. There
are only two chambers that are fully intact. Three have been heavily damaged, and one has been completely destroyed. It’s a shame.”
Doog: “So it’s like a star map?”
Smith: “Sort of. It’s more like a collection of constellations. It probably served a more religious purpose. Perhaps it even helped to foretell the seasons. More importantly, it has taught us a lot about the Jotun’s intelligence. They had art, architecture, a writing system, astronomy, and so on.”
Doog: “Have you been able to decipher any of the writing?”
Smith: “Yes, but not much. Our best astrolinguistic and xenolinguistic experts have been piecing together the language using advanced AI’s. It’s hard to decipher a language when you have absolutely no comparison. This language is even more difficult considering it is a logographic language where each symbol represents a word. Each symbol must be deciphered on its own.”
Doog: “How accurate is the astronomy?”
Smith: “Very accurate, at the time. Stars shift at different rates. All the stars are still there, but not in the same locations. Many of the Jotun’s constellations no longer exist. Since we know how fast these stars are moving in comparison to Jötunheim, we’ve been able to compare their current locations to their location in the constellation and determine that this map was made approximately 65,000 years ago.”
Smith: “Yes, but not much. Our best astrolinguistic and xenolinguistic experts have been piecing together the language using advanced AI’s. It’s hard to decipher a language when you have absolutely no comparison. This language is even more difficult considering it is a logographic language where each symbol represents a word. Each symbol must be deciphered on its own.”
Doog: “How accurate is the astronomy?”
Smith: “Very accurate, at the time. Stars shift at different rates. All the stars are still there, but not in the same locations. Many of the Jotun’s constellations no longer exist. Since we know how fast these stars are moving in comparison to Jötunheim, we’ve been able to compare their current locations to their location in the constellation and determine that this map was made approximately 65,000 years ago.”
Smith: “We’ve been able to determine what some of the constellations were called from the partially deciphered writing. The large one in the upper left that looks like a being was called Mother Star. It appears she was involved in some type of creation mythology.”
Smith: “The constellation in the lower right corner is called the Eye of ‘Something’. We haven’t been able to determine who’s eye. The large blue star in the middle is Sidere Artifex, one of the brightest stars in the LIU Galaxy. Due to its high visibility, it’s a common star in most planets’ constellations.”
Doog: “What’s that huge red star up top?”
Smith: “We’re not entirely sure about that. It’s not a star, we haven’t been able to find it anywhere. It may have been a planet, but if so, it’s not here anymore. We believe it might be the object that impacted Jötunheim, but we’ll need to study it further.”
Doog: “Ah. Well, anything else?”
Smith: “Not yet, but for a small fee, you can be included in our mailing list. We’ll keep you updated on any new discoveries.”
Doog: “No thanks.”
Doog: “What’s that huge red star up top?”
Smith: “We’re not entirely sure about that. It’s not a star, we haven’t been able to find it anywhere. It may have been a planet, but if so, it’s not here anymore. We believe it might be the object that impacted Jötunheim, but we’ll need to study it further.”
Doog: “Ah. Well, anything else?”
Smith: “Not yet, but for a small fee, you can be included in our mailing list. We’ll keep you updated on any new discoveries.”
Doog: “No thanks.”
Doog: “Well folks, Jötunheim is an interesting place…well it used to be. Archeologists have uncovered an extinct race of beings that evolved a moderate level of intelligence. Perhaps they would be part of our galactic community if not for the impact event that wiped them out. Geesh, think of the size of the public bathrooms. Oh well, see ya next time.”
Note:
65,000 years ago…
Note:
65,000 years ago…
