LIU Atlas - Caetarius
There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Caetarius
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Caetarius
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to the season finale of Season Six of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we are visiting the planet Caetarius. Caetarius is about as anticlimactic as you can get on a season finale. Yeah, that’s right, it’s an agricultural world. However, it does have one thing going for it; it’s a SuperFarm. Now, if you’ve been following LIU Atlas long enough, you know a SuperFarm is a designation given to agricultural worlds when their production exceeds some arbitrary production quota. This is the first official SuperFarm we’ve visited in the history of LIU Atlas.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off in a small coastal village on the planet’s smallest continent. It appears this is a fishing village or something. Ah, enough speculation, here comes our guide.”
Pêcheur: “Ah, welcome to Caetarius, Doog. I am Pêcheur Poisson, Agriculture Director here on Caetarius.”
Doog: “Thanks, Peggy.”
Pêcheur: “That’s Pêcheur, actually.”
Doog: “Oh, I heard you correctly. I’m just referring to your leg. What happened there?”
Pêcheur: “Old fishing accident. Common on this planet.”
Doog: “So, I was right. This is some type of fishing village.”
Doog: “Thanks, Peggy.”
Pêcheur: “That’s Pêcheur, actually.”
Doog: “Oh, I heard you correctly. I’m just referring to your leg. What happened there?”
Pêcheur: “Old fishing accident. Common on this planet.”
Doog: “So, I was right. This is some type of fishing village.”
Pêcheur: “No, this village is much too small. Fishing is based out of Caetarius’ largest continent. This is just a shipping village. It ships out supplies to some of the outlying islands. There might be a little sustenance fishing, but nothing closely resembling the operations across the ocean.”
Doog: “So no agriculture here?”
Doog: “So no agriculture here?”
Pêcheur: No, not here, but not far. To make sure all the continent’s space is utilized for agriculture, the villages here all rest along the infertile coast. All the farming takes place inland. Come on, follow me.”
Doog: “Ok, we’ve moved a little bit deeper into the continent, and here we have it, agriculture. What is this stuff?”
Pêcheur: “This is Triticum, a type of cereal.”
Doog: “I’ll stick to my frosted fruit rings. This stuff looks gross.”
Pêcheur: “Not that type of cereal. A cereal grain, like maize, rice, and wheat.”
Pêcheur: “This is Triticum, a type of cereal.”
Doog: “I’ll stick to my frosted fruit rings. This stuff looks gross.”
Pêcheur: “Not that type of cereal. A cereal grain, like maize, rice, and wheat.”
Pêcheur: “The Triticum is a tough grain to farm. The plants mature at different times so it must be processed by hand. The mature plants turn a dark brown indicating that it is ready to be harvested. Workers find these plants and hand harvest them.”
Doog: “What is it used for?”
Pêcheur: “Triticum is mostly used as animal feed, but it can also be found in some foods, like Triticum Bread.”
Doog: “Gotcha. Shall we continue?”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, but we’ll need to catch a ride. These fields stretch for hundreds of miles. Let’s hop on a tractor.”
Doog: “What is it used for?”
Pêcheur: “Triticum is mostly used as animal feed, but it can also be found in some foods, like Triticum Bread.”
Doog: “Gotcha. Shall we continue?”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, but we’ll need to catch a ride. These fields stretch for hundreds of miles. Let’s hop on a tractor.”
Doog: “Worst hayride ever. Practically the same scenery for the last five hours, but it finally looks like we’ve arrived somewhere new.”
Pêcheur: “Ah yes, the turnip fields. The elevation increases as we move deeper inland. The rain patterns here are different, making these lands unsuitable for Triticum. Instead we grow another native plant, the Caetarius Turnip.”
Doog: “Do you guys grow anything that’s not disgusting? Like Kaadu Burgers or something?”
Pêcheur: “Aw, come on. Everyone loves a good turnip.”
Pêcheur: “Ah yes, the turnip fields. The elevation increases as we move deeper inland. The rain patterns here are different, making these lands unsuitable for Triticum. Instead we grow another native plant, the Caetarius Turnip.”
Doog: “Do you guys grow anything that’s not disgusting? Like Kaadu Burgers or something?”
Pêcheur: “Aw, come on. Everyone loves a good turnip.”
Doog: “Yeah, I bet they do.”
Pêcheur: “Yeah that taglines failed us in the past. Our marketing has shifted to more of a super-food, antioxidant, anti-aging angle.”
Doog: “How’s that working for you?”
Pêcheur: “Well, they’re popular with the poorer folks, but that might just be because there so cheap.”
Doog: “Well, as enthralling as turnips are, maybe we should move on.”
Pêcheur: “Indeed. We’ll need continue on by foot though. We need to venture into the highlands.”
Pêcheur: “Yeah that taglines failed us in the past. Our marketing has shifted to more of a super-food, antioxidant, anti-aging angle.”
Doog: “How’s that working for you?”
Pêcheur: “Well, they’re popular with the poorer folks, but that might just be because there so cheap.”
Doog: “Well, as enthralling as turnips are, maybe we should move on.”
Pêcheur: “Indeed. We’ll need continue on by foot though. We need to venture into the highlands.”
Pêcheur: “The innermost areas of this continent are dominated by rocky highlands. These hills were once an impediment to our production numbers. We planned on flattening them out with dynamite, but, when crew began exploring, they found the caves in these highlands were full of life. Edible life. The caves were sealed up to avoid any contamination from pesticides.”
Doog: “There’s edible life in there?”
Doog: “There’s edible life in there?”
Pêcheur: “Yep. The Caetarius Snail.”
Doog: “They’re huge. Bigger than my head. Wait, you did say edible, right? People eat these things?”
Doog: “They’re huge. Bigger than my head. Wait, you did say edible, right? People eat these things?”
Pêcheur: “Some do. My species find snails very tasty. However, only about 40% of snail production goes towards food products. Most is used for bait in the planet’s large fishing operations.”
Pêcheur: “Specially formulated liquid sprays feed the snails. They also contain a Teflon non-stick component that prevents escape.”
Doog: “What is that guy doing?!”
Pêcheur: “Harvesting. Once, fully grown, the snails are removed from the shell. They are then shipped to a coastal processing center. That’s where we’re headed next.”
Doog: “Another hay ride?”
Pêcheur: “No, this time we’ll take a train.”
Doog: “What is that guy doing?!”
Pêcheur: “Harvesting. Once, fully grown, the snails are removed from the shell. They are then shipped to a coastal processing center. That’s where we’re headed next.”
Doog: “Another hay ride?”
Pêcheur: “No, this time we’ll take a train.”
Pêcheur: “Trains transport bait, Triticum feed, and other supplies to Caetarius’ largest continent. I’ve secured us a seat.”
Doog: “How long of a trip? Agriculture always makes me a bit tired. I might be able to squeeze in a nap.”
Pêcheur: “Not a lot of time, I’m afraid. This frictionless hover train makes the trip in about thirty minutes.”
Pêcheur: “Not a lot of time, I’m afraid. This frictionless hover train makes the trip in about thirty minutes.”
Doog: “Now this is a change of pace. This actually looks like a modern town.”
Pêcheur: “Yes. This is Coast City. It spans nearly the entire length of this continent’s coast, sporting a population of about ten million souls. The majority of these people are employed in the fishing industry.”
Pêcheur: “Yes. This is Coast City. It spans nearly the entire length of this continent’s coast, sporting a population of about ten million souls. The majority of these people are employed in the fishing industry.”
Pêcheur: “The city has two tiers. The lower level is devoted to the fishing industry, with docks, warehouses, repair shops, and other support facilities. The upper tier holds housing and businesses.”
Doog: “Whoa, I almost got my head taken off by a crane.”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, you have to watch those auto-cranes. Each crane moves along a track so it can service up to three docks. They used to be manned, but one operator got drunk and took out about 20 people walking on the street behind him.”
Doog: “Well, I can’t say the computer pilots it much better. So, what’s next. Are we going fishing?”
Pêcheur: “Not yet. We’ll venture back here eventually, but first we need to head inland. Like the smaller continent, this continent’s interior houses more agriculture.”
Doog: “Of course it does…”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, you have to watch those auto-cranes. Each crane moves along a track so it can service up to three docks. They used to be manned, but one operator got drunk and took out about 20 people walking on the street behind him.”
Doog: “Well, I can’t say the computer pilots it much better. So, what’s next. Are we going fishing?”
Pêcheur: “Not yet. We’ll venture back here eventually, but first we need to head inland. Like the smaller continent, this continent’s interior houses more agriculture.”
Doog: “Of course it does…”
Pêcheur: “There is some Triticum and turnip farming here, but most of the agricultural operations on this continent deal with animals. Here, for instance, he have the native Brush Crane.”
Doog: “Birds?”
Pêcheur: “Yes. Brush Cranes roamed this continent’s plains before the planet was settled by the LIU. They’ve since been domesticated. Of course they do have some drawbacks. The males violently defend their mates from other cranes, so their can only be one breeding pair in each pen.”
Doog: “Birds?”
Pêcheur: “Yes. Brush Cranes roamed this continent’s plains before the planet was settled by the LIU. They’ve since been domesticated. Of course they do have some drawbacks. The males violently defend their mates from other cranes, so their can only be one breeding pair in each pen.”
Doog: “They don’t look all that meaty to me.”
Pêcheur: “You’re right, they don’t have much suitable meat, but that’s not what we raise them for. We farm them for eggs.”
Doog: “So, they’re like chickens that don‘t taste good fried.”
Pêcheur: “Uh, I guess you could put it that way. They do have some advantages over chickens though. They lay larger eggs, and they lay them much more frequently.”
Doog: “An advantage in the omelet department I guess. So, what are those large warehouses over there?”
Pêcheur: “You mean the milking stalls? Come on, I’ll show you.”
Pêcheur: “You’re right, they don’t have much suitable meat, but that’s not what we raise them for. We farm them for eggs.”
Doog: “So, they’re like chickens that don‘t taste good fried.”
Pêcheur: “Uh, I guess you could put it that way. They do have some advantages over chickens though. They lay larger eggs, and they lay them much more frequently.”
Doog: “An advantage in the omelet department I guess. So, what are those large warehouses over there?”
Pêcheur: “You mean the milking stalls? Come on, I’ll show you.”
Doog: “Where’s the cows? All I see is a giant Guinea Pig.”
Pêcheur: “We don’t have any cows, Doog. We milk the planet’s native groundhog, the Mulgeo.”
Doog: “You milk groundhogs!?!”
Pêcheur: “We don’t have any cows, Doog. We milk the planet’s native groundhog, the Mulgeo.”
Doog: “You milk groundhogs!?!”
Doog: “That’s just weird man.”
Pêcheur: “What makes cows so special? Mulgeo milk has just as much calcium and fat. The Mulgeo is cheaper to raise, breeds faster, and makes more milk.”
Pêcheur: “What makes cows so special? Mulgeo milk has just as much calcium and fat. The Mulgeo is cheaper to raise, breeds faster, and makes more milk.”
Doog: “I don’t know, because they’re rodents. Lots of things make milk, doesn’t mean I want to milk them. Heck, some humans make milk. You don’t see me drinking that.”
Pêcheur: “Speak for yourself.”
Doog: “Gross. Do you farm anything here remotely tasty?”
Pêcheur: “Well, people say we have some of the best fish in the galaxy.”
Doog: “That’s what I’m talking about. I think it’s about time we head back to Coast City and finally check out this fishing operation.”
Pêcheur: “Alright. To the docks we go.”
Pêcheur: “Speak for yourself.”
Doog: “Gross. Do you farm anything here remotely tasty?”
Pêcheur: “Well, people say we have some of the best fish in the galaxy.”
Doog: “That’s what I’m talking about. I think it’s about time we head back to Coast City and finally check out this fishing operation.”
Pêcheur: “Alright. To the docks we go.”
Pêcheur: “We’ll ship out with this crew and get a closer look at the planet’s fishing industry.”
Doog: “This is a little small for a fishing vessel.”
Pêcheur: “Oh, we don’t fish from these little ships. This is just a transport to the factory ship.”
Doog: “Factory ship?”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, massive fishing vessels that process fish on site. They’re way to big to dock here. Instead, workers and supplies are shipped back and forth in smaller vessels like this.”
Doog: “This is a little small for a fishing vessel.”
Pêcheur: “Oh, we don’t fish from these little ships. This is just a transport to the factory ship.”
Doog: “Factory ship?”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, massive fishing vessels that process fish on site. They’re way to big to dock here. Instead, workers and supplies are shipped back and forth in smaller vessels like this.”
Pêcheur: “Well should we do this?”
Doog: “I guess, although I’m a little concerned for my safety.”
Pêcheur: “How so?”
Doog: “Well, most of these guys have hooks for hands and you have that peg as a leg. How dangerous is fishing here?”
Pêcheur: “It’s not too bad. You’ll be fine come on.”
Doog: “I guess, although I’m a little concerned for my safety.”
Pêcheur: “How so?”
Doog: “Well, most of these guys have hooks for hands and you have that peg as a leg. How dangerous is fishing here?”
Pêcheur: “It’s not too bad. You’ll be fine come on.”
Doog: “Alright folks, we’re in the belly of a factory ship heading down to water level to start this fishing adventure. What am I seeing here, Peggy?”
Pêcheur: “Looks like some workers are processing some of the day's catch.”
Pêcheur: “Looks like some workers are processing some of the day's catch.”
Doog: “That’s a big chunk of fish there. How many fish did it take to make that?”
Pêcheur: “Uh, one fish. Actually, more like one-eighth of one fish.”
Doog: “What! What kind of fish are we catching?!”
Pêcheur: “Fish native to Caetarius. Very big fish.”
Pêcheur: “Uh, one fish. Actually, more like one-eighth of one fish.”
Doog: “What! What kind of fish are we catching?!”
Pêcheur: “Fish native to Caetarius. Very big fish.”
Pêcheur: “The fish are diced into more manageable pieces and then freeze dried for preservation. Each chunk of fish could feed several people.”
Doog: “I’m starting to get a little nervous. A fish this big might pull me into the water.”
Pêcheur: “Oh, we don’t fish with lines. The fish are too big. We hunt them by hand. Time to suit up.”
Doog: “I’m starting to get a little nervous. A fish this big might pull me into the water.”
Pêcheur: “Oh, we don’t fish with lines. The fish are too big. We hunt them by hand. Time to suit up.”
Doog: “Alright. We’ve suited up and descended into Caetarius’ ocean. What are these huge things?”
Pêcheur: “These are the staple of fishing on Caetarius, the Silurus. The Silurus are bottom feeders. They eat plants and smaller crustaceans on the ocean floor. Those little whiskers on their head aid them with this.”
Doog: “They don’t seem too dangerous to me.”
Pêcheur: “The Silurus? No, they’re not dangerous at all. They are pretty easy to catch too. They don’t fear us because we are so small. It’s easy to get into harpoon range. Once they are dispatched, we drag them back up to the boat with long lines. Easy stuff.”
Doog: “So, how does everyone down here lose limbs? Freak harpoon accidents?”
Pêcheur: “You know saying, ‘There’s always a bigger fish’? Well, it’s true.”
Pêcheur: “These are the staple of fishing on Caetarius, the Silurus. The Silurus are bottom feeders. They eat plants and smaller crustaceans on the ocean floor. Those little whiskers on their head aid them with this.”
Doog: “They don’t seem too dangerous to me.”
Pêcheur: “The Silurus? No, they’re not dangerous at all. They are pretty easy to catch too. They don’t fear us because we are so small. It’s easy to get into harpoon range. Once they are dispatched, we drag them back up to the boat with long lines. Easy stuff.”
Doog: “So, how does everyone down here lose limbs? Freak harpoon accidents?”
Pêcheur: “You know saying, ‘There’s always a bigger fish’? Well, it’s true.”
Pêcheur: “This ocean is also home to the Crested Pistrix. These behemoths feed on Silurus. They’re drawn to our fishing grounds by the Silurus’ blood in the water.”
Doog: “Should we run! I’m running!”
Pêcheur: “Nah, as scary as they are, we fish them too. Tons of meat on these guys.”
Doog: “Screw that!”
Pêcheur: “Careful Doog! Stay with the group! You’re not safe up there.”
Ten minutes later…
Doog: “Should we run! I’m running!”
Pêcheur: “Nah, as scary as they are, we fish them too. Tons of meat on these guys.”
Doog: “Screw that!”
Pêcheur: “Careful Doog! Stay with the group! You’re not safe up there.”
Ten minutes later…
Doog: “Uh, where am I?”
Pêcheur: “You’re back on the factory ship. You passed out when that Pistrix bit off your hand.”
Doog: “Ahh! What! Noooo! I don’t want a hook hand!”
Pêcheur: “You’re back on the factory ship. You passed out when that Pistrix bit off your hand.”
Doog: “Ahh! What! Noooo! I don’t want a hook hand!”
Pêcheur: “After the Pistrix bit off your hand, you crazily swam into mouth screaming something about your microphone. Thank the fishing gods it swallowed you whole. We killed it and cut you out.”
Doog: “So you saved my microphone!?”
Pêcheur: “Uh yeah. And your hand too. It’s a pretty clean cut. I think they can save it. Unfortunately we can’t get it to release the microphone.”
Doog: “Good job, Righty. Never let go!”
Doog: “So you saved my microphone!?”
Pêcheur: “Uh yeah. And your hand too. It’s a pretty clean cut. I think they can save it. Unfortunately we can’t get it to release the microphone.”
Doog: “Good job, Righty. Never let go!”
Doog: “Well folks. I guess Caetarius is a little more interesting than your typical agricultural world. Its wide range of native species, from milk producing groundhogs to gargantuan fish, allow the planet’s citizens to produce tons of food. Well, I guess I need to get to hospital. What a way to spend my two week vacation in between seasons. Oh well, see ya.”
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