LIU Atlas - Vox Caelestia

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.



                                                            LIU Atlas - Vox Caelestia

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. 

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another special edition episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re making a quick stop at the muddy, swamp world of Vox Caelestia. Like with most special edition episodes, we won’t be focusing much on the planet’s economy. Instead, we’re going to dip into the planet’s culture, which has had a strong influence in the LIU.”

Doog: “Most of Vox Caelestia looks just like this, mile after mile of dense swamp. Of course, the swamp is broken up occasionally by bogs, marshes, and even wetlands. Large catwalks, like this, crisscross the planet’s surface. These elevated walkways make transportation through the swamps much easier. The whole place is an affront to my senses; it smells strongly of wet, decomposing plants, and the local wildlife is loud and boisterous.”

Doog: “The native Voxens collect many of the swamp’s gases, including methane, hydrogen sulfide, and carbon dioxide. These gases, created from the anaerobic decomposition of plant material, are useful to the LIU, and their collection constitutes the majority of Vox Caelestia’s economy. But, like I said, we’re not here to talk about economies.”

Doog: “We’re here to focus on Vox Caelestia’s culture, which involves music and, more importantly, singing. The Voxens have some of the greatest voices in the galaxy. Seriously, these guys could bring tears to your eyes just reading a shopping list. They’re that good. Their angelic voices derive from adaptations to their anatomy. Look, here comes some natives now. It’s easier to show this adaptation than explain it.”

Doog: “Excuse me ma’am, could I get some video of your anatomy?”
Lady: “What! What kind of pervert are you!”
Doog: “No, not that anatomy! I was referring to…wow, your voice is beautiful even when you’re yelling…”
Lady: “Get lost creep!”
Guy: “How much money are we talking here? I might be game.”
Lady: “Purcell! Get over here! I can’t believe your considering this weirdos’ offer!”
Guy: “Gotta run, call me.”

Doog: “That was the most beautiful conversation I ever had, even if I was completely misunderstood. I guess, I’ll just attempt to explain it myself. The Voxen have multiple vocal chords that create multiple tones and an enlarged vocal sac that helps amplify the sound. These adaptations help the Voxen locate mates and communicate in the loud swamps here. They’re sort of like frogs that learned to speak.”

Doog: “They learned more than speaking though. The Voxen have written some of the greatest operas in the LIU galaxy. Thousands of people, from across the galaxy, flock here to the Vox Opera House to hear these galaxy renowned operas.”

Doog: “The Vox Opera House is a piece of art all on its own. Its acoustically engineered walls amplify sound while reducing any type of echo. It seats hundreds, and even has some balconies for the more elite.”

Doog: “The Opera House has a lowered orchestra pit, where musicians play music to accompany the Voxens’ beautiful voices. The Voxen have such wonderful range that a full orchestra is not required.”
Announcer: “Ladies, gentleman, and asexual beings, please take your seats. The show is about to begin.”

Announcer: “Before we begin, if you will turn your attention to the upper balcony. We are graced today with the presence of the LIU Cultural Governor. Please give him a round of applause.”
…crickets…
Doog: “The insects ARE louder here…”

Doog: “Oh, it’s starting!”
Voxen Male: “LAAaaaa!”

Doog: “His deep baritone cries for help are really pulling at my heartstrings.”
Cam: “Are you tearing up?”
Doog: “Uh, no…I…uh… have something in my eye.”
Mike: “Yeah, me too. There must be some sort of eye irritant in here.”
Oldie: …snore…

Mike: “Just take her back already! Listen to that voice! She has the voice of a million angels! How can you not say yes?!”
Doog: “I feel your pain, dude! Your deep, manly pain! Wait...that sounded weird. Timbo, I’m going to need you to edit that out.”
Timbo: “…”
Usher: “Excuse me gentleman, can you please stop shouting in the middle of the opera? You’re ruining everyone’s experience.”
Oldie: …snore…

Doog: “Well folks, Vox Caelestia is a great place. Their operas are amazing. The saintly voices of the Voxen Race send chills down the spine and evoke emotions you never knew you had. It’s truly a beautiful experience. Well, see ya!”

Note:

Green Guy: “These aisles are really narrow. I hope there isn’t a fire.”
Ackbar: “It’s a trap!”

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