There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Aequora
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Aequora
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the ocean world of Aequora. Aequora was originally uninhabited, but now it’s home to a Haima colony. The Haima are an advanced race that have colonized a dozen or so water worlds in the LIU Galaxy. The Haima have always been friendly…and subservient…to the LIU, so they have been granted limited amounts of autonomy on these colony worlds.”
Doog: “Aequora has no land masses that penetrate the surface, so we won’t be landing directly on the planet. The Magellan doesn’t float, and I don’t think I could tread water more than thirty seconds. Instead, we’re landing on one of the Haima’s massive ships called the Balaena. Hopefully, we’ll find my guide inside.”
Zinon: “Welcome aboard. I am Zinon, a Haima diplomat.”
Doog: “Oh, so this is what the Haima look like. I’ve seen you guys around the galaxy before, but I never really knew the name of your race. You should drop the whole Haima thing and go with something more descriptive, like the Green Face Wieners or something.”
Zinon: “They’re sensory organs, not wieners, but I will make the suggestion at council next week. I thank you for your kind suggestion. Well, with that settled, perhaps we can begin.”
Doog: “Oh, so this is what the Haima look like. I’ve seen you guys around the galaxy before, but I never really knew the name of your race. You should drop the whole Haima thing and go with something more descriptive, like the Green Face Wieners or something.”
Zinon: “They’re sensory organs, not wieners, but I will make the suggestion at council next week. I thank you for your kind suggestion. Well, with that settled, perhaps we can begin.”
Doog: “Yeah, I guess all we need to do is wait for this ship to take us to the colony.”
Zinon: “Actually, this ship is the colony.”
Doog: “The whole ship?”
Zinon: “Yes. The Balaena holds several hundred thousand of my Haima brethren. We have no structures on the planet itself, just this ship.”
Zinon: “Actually, this ship is the colony.”
Doog: “The whole ship?”
Zinon: “Yes. The Balaena holds several hundred thousand of my Haima brethren. We have no structures on the planet itself, just this ship.”
Zinon: “My people have long feared extermination. We split up our populace into several smaller colonies to increases our chance of survival. Each colony ship was built to be self-sufficient and have ability to continue on our legacy if the others fell. Of course, we fear extermination slightly less now that the LIU has taken us under their wing. We keep them happy, and they keep us alive.”
Doog: “No offense, but you guys seem sort of cowardly.”
Zinon: “Oh! No offense taken at all, kind sir! You speak the truth! Our gelatinous mollusk bodies are weak and vulnerable. We know this all too well. We have good reasons to be cowardly, it is one of the defense mechanisms that have kept us alive all this time.”
Doog: “Well, at least you’ve embraced it….Whoa! What was that?””
Zinon: “I believe we are descending into the safe zone. Nothing to worry about, just some mild turbulence. In fact, we are probably even safer than before.”
Doog: “Descending? Down to the planet?”
Doog: “No offense, but you guys seem sort of cowardly.”
Zinon: “Oh! No offense taken at all, kind sir! You speak the truth! Our gelatinous mollusk bodies are weak and vulnerable. We know this all too well. We have good reasons to be cowardly, it is one of the defense mechanisms that have kept us alive all this time.”
Doog: “Well, at least you’ve embraced it….Whoa! What was that?””
Zinon: “I believe we are descending into the safe zone. Nothing to worry about, just some mild turbulence. In fact, we are probably even safer than before.”
Doog: “Descending? Down to the planet?”
Zinon: “Yes, descending deep into the waters. We are much safer here. There’s no space pirates or enemies or comets or other dangerous things. Hidden in the depths, just the way we like it.”
Doog: “Your spaceship can go underwater?”
Zinon: “Sure. All spacecraft should be able to. Spaceship hulls are designed to withstand various pressure levels. They must be able to withstand the change from the vacuum of space to the air pressure of an atmosphere.”
Doog: “Then, how is it safer?”
Zinon: “Because our ship can go deeper and faster. The Balaena is specifically designed for underwater use. We stay down here for months at a time. We only surface when summoned by the LIU.”
Doog: “Why would the LIU summon you?”
Zinon: “To transfer goods. We give many goods to the LIU in return for our safety.”
Doog: “Like what?”
Zinon: “Follow me.”
Doog: “Your spaceship can go underwater?”
Zinon: “Sure. All spacecraft should be able to. Spaceship hulls are designed to withstand various pressure levels. They must be able to withstand the change from the vacuum of space to the air pressure of an atmosphere.”
Doog: “Then, how is it safer?”
Zinon: “Because our ship can go deeper and faster. The Balaena is specifically designed for underwater use. We stay down here for months at a time. We only surface when summoned by the LIU.”
Doog: “Why would the LIU summon you?”
Zinon: “To transfer goods. We give many goods to the LIU in return for our safety.”
Doog: “Like what?”
Zinon: “Follow me.”
Zinon: “This is the Balaena’s Archive Room. Each colony ship possesses one of these rooms. It helps to insure that my race’s knowledge and culture are retained if a catastrophe befalls our homeworld.”
Doog: “Is this related to the goods you trade the LIU? Do you give them information?”
Zinon: “No. But using the archive room’s holo-projector is the easiest…and safest…way to show you our economy.”
Doog: “Is this related to the goods you trade the LIU? Do you give them information?”
Zinon: “No. But using the archive room’s holo-projector is the easiest…and safest…way to show you our economy.”
Zinon: “My people transported several species of our native zooplankton to Aequora. Chief among these, are creatures called Bice. These microscopic creatures can be fished easily, and they can be turned into many useful products.”
Doog: “They sort of look like jellyfish.”
Zinon: “JELLY FISH! Where!?! Sound the alarms!”
Doog: “No, relax, I said the Bice looks like a jellyfish.”
Zinon: “Oh. Phew. Please don’t scare me like that. My weak heart can’t handle episodes like that. The Bice may resemble jellyfish in some regards, they are actually closer to the mollusk family, like myself.”
Doog: “Gotcha. So how do you catch them? You did say they were microscopic, right?”
Doog: “They sort of look like jellyfish.”
Zinon: “JELLY FISH! Where!?! Sound the alarms!”
Doog: “No, relax, I said the Bice looks like a jellyfish.”
Zinon: “Oh. Phew. Please don’t scare me like that. My weak heart can’t handle episodes like that. The Bice may resemble jellyfish in some regards, they are actually closer to the mollusk family, like myself.”
Doog: “Gotcha. So how do you catch them? You did say they were microscopic, right?”
Zinon: “Yes, let’s move on to the next holo-slide. This is the Balaena. If you pay attention to the front of the ship you’ll note that…”
Doog: “Wait. Are we spending the rest of the episode in here watching holo-slides?”
Zinon: “Yes, it’s much safer this way.”
Doog: “Safer and easier. I can just take a nap. You play the presentation. This is going to work out great. I mean, the TV Executives might not be all that happy with it, but technically, I did my job.”
Zinon: “Wait. I must reassess. I didn’t think of offending executives with my slide show. Executives equal LIU. Yes. This won’t do at all. My apologies. Let’s see the Balaena in person.”
Doog: “Darn it. Had to open my mouth…”
Doog: “Wait. Are we spending the rest of the episode in here watching holo-slides?”
Zinon: “Yes, it’s much safer this way.”
Doog: “Safer and easier. I can just take a nap. You play the presentation. This is going to work out great. I mean, the TV Executives might not be all that happy with it, but technically, I did my job.”
Zinon: “Wait. I must reassess. I didn’t think of offending executives with my slide show. Executives equal LIU. Yes. This won’t do at all. My apologies. Let’s see the Balaena in person.”
Doog: “Darn it. Had to open my mouth…”
Zinon: “The Balaena is over a mile long. We are near the middle of the ship, but the Bice fishing industry is located near the front of the ship. We’ll need to take a tram.”
Doog: “I am absolutely in favor of taking the tram. No need for a hike. I think the LIU will like it.”
Zinon: “Very good. I strive to make the LIU happy. I’ll discuss Bice fishing while we’re in route. That will be efficient. The LIU will like that too.”
Doog: “The LIU and I are in agreement in that regard.”
Doog: “I am absolutely in favor of taking the tram. No need for a hike. I think the LIU will like it.”
Zinon: “Very good. I strive to make the LIU happy. I’ll discuss Bice fishing while we’re in route. That will be efficient. The LIU will like that too.”
Doog: “The LIU and I are in agreement in that regard.”
Zinon: “Bice flourishes in the upper levels of the ocean where sunlight still penetrates. Smaller photosynthetic algal species live here, and the Bice feed off them. We simply navigate the Balaena through these waters, picking up the Bice with the large collector scoop on the front of our ship.”
Doog: “Sort of like a giant whale?”
Zinon: “GIANT WHALE! Sound the alarm!”
Doog: “Sigh.”
Doog: “Sort of like a giant whale?”
Zinon: “GIANT WHALE! Sound the alarm!”
Doog: “Sigh.”
Zinon: “The scoop collects thousands of gallons of water as the Balaena navigates these waters. Our filtration system removes the small zooplankton from these waters.”
Zinon: “We’ve relocated several species of zooplankton to Aequora. Some are used as food, others to make fuel, but, as I said before, Bice is the only zooplankton of interest to the LIU.”
Doog: “Why does the LIU find Bice so appealing? Is it a foodstuff or something?”
Zinon: “It was once a foodstuff to my people, but it’s too valuable to the LIU for us to eat it anymore. The LIU needs their blood.”
Doog: “Blood? Is their blood made of gold or something?”
Zinon: “No, but it contains Hemocyanin, a protein that transports oxygen. It’s found in the blood of several mollusk and arthropod species, but not in the concentrations we see in the Bice. They are a huge source of Hemocyanin.”
Doog: “What is Hemi-Sai-Anna used for?”
Zinon: “Hemocyanin is similar to hemoglobin except it utilizes copper to bond to oxygen instead of iron. It can be used as a medicine for several species across the universe. Not humans though, I’m afraid. Please don’t be mad.”
Doog: “I’ll let it go this time, Zinon…”
Zinon: “It was once a foodstuff to my people, but it’s too valuable to the LIU for us to eat it anymore. The LIU needs their blood.”
Doog: “Blood? Is their blood made of gold or something?”
Zinon: “No, but it contains Hemocyanin, a protein that transports oxygen. It’s found in the blood of several mollusk and arthropod species, but not in the concentrations we see in the Bice. They are a huge source of Hemocyanin.”
Doog: “What is Hemi-Sai-Anna used for?”
Zinon: “Hemocyanin is similar to hemoglobin except it utilizes copper to bond to oxygen instead of iron. It can be used as a medicine for several species across the universe. Not humans though, I’m afraid. Please don’t be mad.”
Doog: “I’ll let it go this time, Zinon…”
Zinon: “We deliver millions of liters of pure Hemocyanin to the LIU every few months. I’m told they do quite well selling it to various alien species. Not that we are asking for any share of that profit. We would never ask for anything from the LIU. Please don’t hurt us LIU.”
Zinon: “Not all Hemocyanin is used for the production of medicine though. Because it contains a large amounts of copper, Hemocyanin is a great liquid conductor. Some Hemocyanin is processed and sold to the LIU for this purpose as well.”
Zinon: “One of Hemocyanin’s greatest uses, though, is in the production of atmosphere scrubbers. Because Hemocyanin easily bonds with various gases, it is used to scrub ships’ atmospheres of carbon dioxide, excess oxygen, and other pollutants.”
Doog: “How do they work on farts?”
Zinon: “Please do not be angry, but I have not tested the scrubbers for this. I shall remedy that as soon as possible. A thousand apologies.”
Doog: “How do they work on farts?”
Zinon: “Please do not be angry, but I have not tested the scrubbers for this. I shall remedy that as soon as possible. A thousand apologies.”
Doog: “Maybe I should take one for testing on my ship.”
Zinon: “I’m not sure if that is allowed…”
Doog: “It is.”
Zinon: “You say that great sir, but then the LIU might come and begin with the hurting and yelling. I…”
Doog: “I SAID that it is ok.”
Zinon: “Yes, yes. Take it. Take it.”
Zinon: “I’m not sure if that is allowed…”
Doog: “It is.”
Zinon: “You say that great sir, but then the LIU might come and begin with the hurting and yelling. I…”
Doog: “I SAID that it is ok.”
Zinon: “Yes, yes. Take it. Take it.”
Doog: “Well folks, Aequora is an interesting place. It is home to one of the hidden colonies of the cowardly Haima race. They seem to be scared of just about everything. They have a cool ship though. It sort of acts like a giant whale that scoops out millions of tons of zooplankton from the ocean. One of these zooplankton, called Bice, is used for medicine, power conductors, and atmosphere scrubbers. Speaking of scrubbers, I’m going to take this baby back to my ship. See ya!
Note:
Note:
Mike: “What is that? How did you get t? Am I an accessory to a crime by standing next to it?”
Doog: “No, some weakling guy gave it to me down on the planet. It’s an air scrubber.”
Mike: “Does it work on farts?”
Doog: “Only one way to find out.”
Doog: “No, some weakling guy gave it to me down on the planet. It’s an air scrubber.”
Mike: “Does it work on farts?”
Doog: “Only one way to find out.”
Mike: “Is testing it on Cam after burrito night really a fair first test?”
