There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Caecus Station #29
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Caecus Station #29
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Recently, we’ve visited some of the galaxy’s most distant worlds, but now it’s time to finally check out our intended destination, one of the galaxy’s dark matter collectors. These collectors, called Caecus Stations, are positioned every 11 degrees in the Blattarius Halo, the ring of dark matter that encircles the galaxy. We’ll be visiting Caecus Station #29, which is positioned a few light years from Nidavellir, a rogue planet which houses the LIU’s dark matter research center.”
Doog: “Caecus Station #29 is identical to the other thirty-two stations in the halo, at least in size and design. Due to the irregular shape of the halo, some collectors are more productive than others. Caecus Station #29 is one of the LIU’s least productive stations. I have no doubt that I’ve been given access to this specific station because of the low production numbers. They wouldn’t want me to mess up one of the important ones. Smart decision. Alright, let’s head inside.”
Ul Ser: “Welcome. I am Ul Ser of the Calx.”
Doog: “Nice to meet you Ulcer. I had the pleasure of meeting some members of your race on Nidavellir. Well, pleasure might be too strong of a word. But, yeah, nice to meet you.”
Ul Ser: “Uh…thanks, I guess. So, are you ready for the tour?”
Doog: “I am, but I have a question first. I was told that the Caecus Stations had high levels of radiation. Why isn’t my skin melting off?”
Ul Ser: “Good question.”
Doog: “Nice to meet you Ulcer. I had the pleasure of meeting some members of your race on Nidavellir. Well, pleasure might be too strong of a word. But, yeah, nice to meet you.”
Ul Ser: “Uh…thanks, I guess. So, are you ready for the tour?”
Doog: “I am, but I have a question first. I was told that the Caecus Stations had high levels of radiation. Why isn’t my skin melting off?”
Ul Ser: “Good question.”
Ul Ser: “The Caecus Stations are made up of two rings, an inner ring and an outer ring. While the inner ring is quite deadly for those of your biology, you’ll find the outer ring is plenty safe. Many humans live and work in this portion of the station.”
Doog: “Ah, good. No skin melting until later. So, why two rings?”
Doog: “Ah, good. No skin melting until later. So, why two rings?”
Ul Ser: “The collection of dark matter is, by far, our most important duty, but the Caecus Stations serve other roles as well. These unrelated functions are carried out in the shielded outer ring where various alien races can live safely.”
Doog: “What are these other functions?”
Ul Ser: “Follow me.”
Doog: “What are these other functions?”
Ul Ser: “Follow me.”
Ul Ser: “This is where we keep the BITC, otherwise known as the Boundary Integrity Tracking Center.”
Doog: “You couldn’t find a way to throw an ‘H’ in there? You know, like Boundary Integrity Tracking Center of the Halo…just for funny acronyms sake.”
Ul Ser: “I do not find the humor in that.”
Doog: “Really? I feel like you’re missing out on something there. Oh well. So, what’s this BITC?”
Ul Ser: “The Caecus Stations are in prime position to track all traffic entering and leaving the LIU Galaxy. This is vital to maintaining the integrity of our borders.”
Doog: “You couldn’t find a way to throw an ‘H’ in there? You know, like Boundary Integrity Tracking Center of the Halo…just for funny acronyms sake.”
Ul Ser: “I do not find the humor in that.”
Doog: “Really? I feel like you’re missing out on something there. Oh well. So, what’s this BITC?”
Ul Ser: “The Caecus Stations are in prime position to track all traffic entering and leaving the LIU Galaxy. This is vital to maintaining the integrity of our borders.”
Ul Ser: "Each station houses advanced scanners that detect moving targets within five kiloparsecs. Almost nothing goes unnoticed.”
Ul Ser: “Each ship entering the galaxy is required to have a registered transponder code. The computer detects these codes and displays them on the wall over there. The computer determines if the signal is incoming or outgoing. It also displays any anomalies. As you can see, there’s a ship with an expired tag and a pirated vessel. We’ll need to alert nearby authorities.”
Doog: “Interesting. So, what’s that over there?”
Ul Ser: “Not everyone complies with registering their transponder code; some ships have no transponder at all. These ships can still be detected though. The Caecus Stations have multi-spectral scanners that detect these rogue ships, even while they are in hyperspace. The X-Ray signature on this rogue vessel indicates that it is more than likely a cargo vessel. It also appears to be attempting to enter the galaxy. It’s probably smugglers.”
Doog: “You can get all that from that blob of colors?”
Ul Ser: “It takes a trained eye, but yes. Come on, let’s continue.”
Ul Ser: “Not everyone complies with registering their transponder code; some ships have no transponder at all. These ships can still be detected though. The Caecus Stations have multi-spectral scanners that detect these rogue ships, even while they are in hyperspace. The X-Ray signature on this rogue vessel indicates that it is more than likely a cargo vessel. It also appears to be attempting to enter the galaxy. It’s probably smugglers.”
Doog: “You can get all that from that blob of colors?”
Ul Ser: “It takes a trained eye, but yes. Come on, let’s continue.”
Ul Ser: “The outer ring of the station also contains the cargo bays.”
Doog: “Cargo bays? You guys handle cargo entering the galaxy?”
Ul Ser: “No, nothing like that. The cargo bays are where we store Dark Matter Containers until they are shipped out.”
Doog: “Cargo bays? You guys handle cargo entering the galaxy?”
Ul Ser: “No, nothing like that. The cargo bays are where we store Dark Matter Containers until they are shipped out.”
Doog: “Those containers have dark matter inside them? They look empty.”
Ul Ser: “Dark matter does not interact on the electromagnetic spectrum, so it is invisible to the naked eye. Dark matter does interact gravitationally though, so you could probably sense its presence if you were a bit closer to the container.”
Doog: “How do you keep it from just leaking out?”
Ul Ser: “You’ll note the gravity beam in the center of the container. The dark matter is attracted to the beam. It’s held in check by gravity.”
Doog: “I guess I’ll just take your word for it. You know, you could make a killing selling empty glass balls to people. No ma’am, I swear there’s dark matter inside. It’s held by gravity. Well, of course it will cure your arthritis. Hmm…I wonder where I could get some clear balls. I think I am on to something here.”
Ul Ser: “Please refrain from planning your felonious scam against the elderly while I am present. I don’t want to be tied up in court because of you.”
Doog: “Well, it wouldn’t just be against the elderly. I have some pretty good ideas for other people too. But, yeah, maybe I’ll wait until I’m off TV to discuss it further. I don’t want someone stealing my idea.”
Ul Ser: “Dark matter does not interact on the electromagnetic spectrum, so it is invisible to the naked eye. Dark matter does interact gravitationally though, so you could probably sense its presence if you were a bit closer to the container.”
Doog: “How do you keep it from just leaking out?”
Ul Ser: “You’ll note the gravity beam in the center of the container. The dark matter is attracted to the beam. It’s held in check by gravity.”
Doog: “I guess I’ll just take your word for it. You know, you could make a killing selling empty glass balls to people. No ma’am, I swear there’s dark matter inside. It’s held by gravity. Well, of course it will cure your arthritis. Hmm…I wonder where I could get some clear balls. I think I am on to something here.”
Ul Ser: “Please refrain from planning your felonious scam against the elderly while I am present. I don’t want to be tied up in court because of you.”
Doog: “Well, it wouldn’t just be against the elderly. I have some pretty good ideas for other people too. But, yeah, maybe I’ll wait until I’m off TV to discuss it further. I don’t want someone stealing my idea.”
Ul Ser: “This is the radiation airlock. We’ll be progressing into the inner ring now.”
Doog: “Ah, time to say goodbye to my skin.”
Ul Ser: “Do not fret. There will be limited discomfort inside the radiation suit.”
Doog: “I get a suit? Thank the Emperor.”
Ul Ser: “Yes, of course. Make a right next to the door there. You’ll find a locker room and a suit.”
Doog: “Ah, time to say goodbye to my skin.”
Ul Ser: “Do not fret. There will be limited discomfort inside the radiation suit.”
Doog: “I get a suit? Thank the Emperor.”
Ul Ser: “Yes, of course. Make a right next to the door there. You’ll find a locker room and a suit.”
Doog: “So, I won’t be losing skin due to radiation, but chafing is still a major concern. Right now, it’s a toss-up on which one is better.”
Ul Ser: “Did you remove your clothing or something? You’re supposed to keep that on.”
Doog: “A little late to be telling me that now. I’m 100% commando under here.”
Ul Ser: “Remind me to send that suit to the incinerator at the conclusion of your visit.”
Doog: “Well, shall we continue?”
Ul Ser: “Yes, but you’ll need to confine your visit to just a few minutes. The suit won’t handle much more than that. My race is the only inhabitants of the inner ring. Our biology is resistant to radiation.”
Doog: “I’m all about doing these tours quickly. Let’s head out.”
Ul Ser: “Did you remove your clothing or something? You’re supposed to keep that on.”
Doog: “A little late to be telling me that now. I’m 100% commando under here.”
Ul Ser: “Remind me to send that suit to the incinerator at the conclusion of your visit.”
Doog: “Well, shall we continue?”
Ul Ser: “Yes, but you’ll need to confine your visit to just a few minutes. The suit won’t handle much more than that. My race is the only inhabitants of the inner ring. Our biology is resistant to radiation.”
Doog: “I’m all about doing these tours quickly. Let’s head out.”
Doog: “Whoa. Radiation must make your race grow. This guy is huge.”
Ul Ser: “He’s not bigger, his suit is. The industrial environment in the inner ring requires some members of my race to wear larger bio-mechanical suits.”
Doog: “How do you know he’s not bigger? Been checking him out in the locker room?”
Ul Ser: “Sigh. That does not justify a response.”
Ul Ser: “He’s not bigger, his suit is. The industrial environment in the inner ring requires some members of my race to wear larger bio-mechanical suits.”
Doog: “How do you know he’s not bigger? Been checking him out in the locker room?”
Ul Ser: “Sigh. That does not justify a response.”
Ul Ser: “This is the decontamination rig. Here, Osmium Cores from the dark matter collector are cleaned of radiation.”
Doog: “Osmium core? Am I supposed to know what that means?”
Ul Ser: “The ultra-dense, super heavy cores are used to make miniature black holes. This is done with hyperspace fracking. These black holes only last a few seconds before evaporating, but they leave behind tons of Hawking Radiation. This radiation eventually builds up to unacceptable levels within the Osmium Core, and it needs to be replaced. Otherwise the core would fail.”
Doog: “The only words I understood were ‘holes’ and ‘fracking”. And I usually use them in a way different context.”
Ul Ser: “Sigh. The core gets too dirty to work correctly, so we take it down to this room to be cleaned. Think of this place as a laundry room.”
Doog: “What’s laundry?”
Doog: “Osmium core? Am I supposed to know what that means?”
Ul Ser: “The ultra-dense, super heavy cores are used to make miniature black holes. This is done with hyperspace fracking. These black holes only last a few seconds before evaporating, but they leave behind tons of Hawking Radiation. This radiation eventually builds up to unacceptable levels within the Osmium Core, and it needs to be replaced. Otherwise the core would fail.”
Doog: “The only words I understood were ‘holes’ and ‘fracking”. And I usually use them in a way different context.”
Ul Ser: “Sigh. The core gets too dirty to work correctly, so we take it down to this room to be cleaned. Think of this place as a laundry room.”
Doog: “What’s laundry?”
Ul Ser: ‘The radiation is transferred into absorption rods, rendering the core operable once again. The core will be put back into operation when the current core begins to fail.”
Doog: “What about these radioactive rods? What happens to them?”
Ul Ser: “They are used to power the station. Hawking Radiation is not the cleanest power source, but it doesn’t matter to my species. Besides, this place is already bathed in radiation, a little dirty power doesn’t hurt anything.”
Doog: “They power the whole station?”
Ul Ser: “Absolutely not. We have sixteen Fusion Star Chambers making the bulk of our power. The absorption rods are just a complement. Dark matter collection is extremely pricy, mostly due to the enormous power demands associated with its collection. The cost of maintaining the Fusion Star Chambers are slightly offset by using absorption rods. It’s something my species thought up on Nidavellir.”
Doog: “What about these radioactive rods? What happens to them?”
Ul Ser: “They are used to power the station. Hawking Radiation is not the cleanest power source, but it doesn’t matter to my species. Besides, this place is already bathed in radiation, a little dirty power doesn’t hurt anything.”
Doog: “They power the whole station?”
Ul Ser: “Absolutely not. We have sixteen Fusion Star Chambers making the bulk of our power. The absorption rods are just a complement. Dark matter collection is extremely pricy, mostly due to the enormous power demands associated with its collection. The cost of maintaining the Fusion Star Chambers are slightly offset by using absorption rods. It’s something my species thought up on Nidavellir.”
Doog: “Let me guess, this is the collector.”
Ul Ser: “Indeed.”
Doog: “I know size isn’t everything…trust me…but I thought the collector would be…I don’t know…bigger?”
Ul Ser: “A common reaction, but I assure you it gets the job done. This design was found to be the most efficient method of dark matter collection.”
Doog: “How does it work?”
Ul Ser: “I explained it briefly before, but let me try to find a way to explain it so even you would understand.”
Ul Ser: “Indeed.”
Doog: “I know size isn’t everything…trust me…but I thought the collector would be…I don’t know…bigger?”
Ul Ser: “A common reaction, but I assure you it gets the job done. This design was found to be the most efficient method of dark matter collection.”
Doog: “How does it work?”
Ul Ser: “I explained it briefly before, but let me try to find a way to explain it so even you would understand.”
Ul Ser: “Think of the collector as a giant vacuum cleaner. It creates a strong gravitational singularity that pulls dark matter into the collector. The singularity is created by miniature black holes. They only last a few seconds, but they are created over and over so there is constantly a strong gravitational pull.”
Doog: “Like a black hole machine gun?”
Ul Ser: “Exactly. Although it is expensive to maintain and produces unimaginable amounts of radiation, the Osmium Core Black Hole Generator is the best way to keep a gravitational singularity within the collector.”
Doog: “Like a black hole machine gun?”
Ul Ser: “Exactly. Although it is expensive to maintain and produces unimaginable amounts of radiation, the Osmium Core Black Hole Generator is the best way to keep a gravitational singularity within the collector.”
Doog: “Why is this station one of the least productive? It seems like everything is up and running just fine.”
Ul Ser: “Dark matter collection requires immense gravity to work. It’s a slow process that gradually pulls dark matter in from the nearby Blattarius Halo. Other nearby sources of gravity can slightly disrupt this process. Station #29 has the misfortune of being close to the straggler stars in this arm of the galaxy. Their combined gravitational pull makes our station less efficient.”
Doog: “Straggler stars? Like Vel Fimbriam and Buccina Prime?”
Ul Ser: “Yes. Not all the arms of the galaxy have stars this far out. This cluster of straggler stars must have been captured from a companion galaxy several million years ago. Regardless of how or why they are here, they certainly put a damper in this station’s collection.”
Ul Ser: “Dark matter collection requires immense gravity to work. It’s a slow process that gradually pulls dark matter in from the nearby Blattarius Halo. Other nearby sources of gravity can slightly disrupt this process. Station #29 has the misfortune of being close to the straggler stars in this arm of the galaxy. Their combined gravitational pull makes our station less efficient.”
Doog: “Straggler stars? Like Vel Fimbriam and Buccina Prime?”
Ul Ser: “Yes. Not all the arms of the galaxy have stars this far out. This cluster of straggler stars must have been captured from a companion galaxy several million years ago. Regardless of how or why they are here, they certainly put a damper in this station’s collection.”
Doog: “Are we almost done? It’s starting to get a bit warm in this suit.”
Ul Ser: “Yes. This is the last portion of our tour. This is the fill room where dark matter is encased into Dark Matter Containers. The filled containers must undergo decontamination before being moved into the outer ring, to avoid spreading radiation. That’s basically it.”
Doog: “Thank goodness. I do believe the sweat in my manhood region is beginning to boil. I need out of here!”
Ul Ser: “Yes. This is the last portion of our tour. This is the fill room where dark matter is encased into Dark Matter Containers. The filled containers must undergo decontamination before being moved into the outer ring, to avoid spreading radiation. That’s basically it.”
Doog: “Thank goodness. I do believe the sweat in my manhood region is beginning to boil. I need out of here!”
Doog: “Well folks, how can I sum this up quick? The Caecus Stations collect dark matter using cool black hole generators. There’s Osmium cores involved, as well as huge amounts of radiation. I can’t get too detailed right now. I do believe my suit is finally succumbing to the radiation. See ya!
Note: Dark matter is used for several purposes, including: artificial gravity generators, anti-gravity shielding, fuel, and weapons.
Note: Dark matter is used for several purposes, including: artificial gravity generators, anti-gravity shielding, fuel, and weapons.
Credits
Created by: Ludgonious
Executive Producers: Ralph DuBreuil , legolifty
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE - Season 8 - Episode 11 - Telum Texeris
Created by: Ludgonious
Executive Producers: Ralph DuBreuil , legolifty
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE - Season 8 - Episode 11 - Telum Texeris
