There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Nihil Void
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Nihil Void, a starless region in the galaxy’s Gamma Arm. From the void’s center, you would have to travel about 300 light years in any direction before running into any type of star or planet. It’s a big empty space. Larger ships, like the Magellan, have no trouble traversing the Nihil Void. In fact, the lack of obstacles makes hyperspace flight quick, easy, and safe. Smaller ships aren’t so lucky though. The void can be a bit of a hazard. Running out of fuel or breaking down in the void could be a death sentence. Smaller ships might not have the resources to wait for a rescue. A whole deep-space service industry was born within the void to combat this very problem. The Nihil Void is filled with dozens of small space stations aimed at helping smaller ships. We’re heading into the void to check them out.”
Doog: “First things first, we’re going to need to switch to a smaller ship. The stations within the void are not designed to link up with ships like the Magellan. We’ve made arrangements to get a Void Taxi. We just need to pick it up at the Last Stop Hotel.”
Doog: “Last Stop Hotel…sounds like a place you go to get murdered. The only way it could be worse is if they named it, ‘Final Resting Place’.”
Mike: “I think it’s aptly named. It’s literally the last hotel for hundreds of light years.”
Doog: “Remind me why I brought you guys?”
Cam: “We’re shooting a show in deep space. I’m going to have to use the Space Cam to get most of the shots. That’s why I’m here. I can’t speak for Mike and Oldie.”
Mike: “Uh… I have…important deep space audio duties. Yeah, let’s go with that.”
Oldie: “Don’t lie. You just didn’t want to spend all day with Timbo and Hugo. At least, that’s my reason for coming.”
Doog: “Yikes. Oldie’s not pulling any punches.”
Mike: “I think it’s aptly named. It’s literally the last hotel for hundreds of light years.”
Doog: “Remind me why I brought you guys?”
Cam: “We’re shooting a show in deep space. I’m going to have to use the Space Cam to get most of the shots. That’s why I’m here. I can’t speak for Mike and Oldie.”
Mike: “Uh… I have…important deep space audio duties. Yeah, let’s go with that.”
Oldie: “Don’t lie. You just didn’t want to spend all day with Timbo and Hugo. At least, that’s my reason for coming.”
Doog: “Yikes. Oldie’s not pulling any punches.”
Doog: “This has to be the most boring spaceflight I’ve ever taken. There’s nothing to see.”
Mike: “We’re in the void, and that’s what the void is, nothingness.”
Doog: “Oh really? Is that what a void is, Mike? Thanks for enlightening us.”
Mike: “I figured that the guy that reads at a third-grade level might need an explanation.”
Doog: “Third-grade! I clearly read at twice that level!”
Oldie: “Wouldn’t that only be a sixth-grade level?”
Doog: “Shut up, Oldie! There’s no need to bring math into this!”
Mike: “Especially math above a fourth-grade level.”
Doog: “That’s it! It’s come to fisticuffs!”
Cam: “Whoa, whoa! There’s no room for fisticuffs. And who says fisticuffs, anyway?”
Mike: “We’re in the void, and that’s what the void is, nothingness.”
Doog: “Oh really? Is that what a void is, Mike? Thanks for enlightening us.”
Mike: “I figured that the guy that reads at a third-grade level might need an explanation.”
Doog: “Third-grade! I clearly read at twice that level!”
Oldie: “Wouldn’t that only be a sixth-grade level?”
Doog: “Shut up, Oldie! There’s no need to bring math into this!”
Mike: “Especially math above a fourth-grade level.”
Doog: “That’s it! It’s come to fisticuffs!”
Cam: “Whoa, whoa! There’s no room for fisticuffs. And who says fisticuffs, anyway?”
Taxi Driver: “I have no idea what fisticuffs are, but they don’t sound like a good idea. Listen to your friend.”
Doog: “Ok, ok. Fisticuffs might be an overreaction. I think I’m just hangry. It’s been weeks since we had a real meal.”
Taxi Driver: “Well, you’re in luck. There’s tons of stations out here that sell food.”
Oldie: “I don’t know if there’s money in the budget for eating out. This taxi tour is eating up all the production budget for this show.”
Mike: “Awe, come on, Oldie. There’s fisticuffs at stake here. Surely we can find some wiggle room for one meal.”
Doog: “Do it to prevent the fisticuffs, Oldie. Do it.”
Oldie: “I think this whole thing was a set up, but fine. We can have one meal, but I get to pick where we eat.”
Doog: “Yes! Fisticuffs have been averted.”
Cam: “Seriously, who says fisticuffs? Why are we saying fisticuffs so much? Are we trying to set the record for the most mentions of fisticuffs in a single conversation?”
Two Hours Later…
Doog: “Ok, ok. Fisticuffs might be an overreaction. I think I’m just hangry. It’s been weeks since we had a real meal.”
Taxi Driver: “Well, you’re in luck. There’s tons of stations out here that sell food.”
Oldie: “I don’t know if there’s money in the budget for eating out. This taxi tour is eating up all the production budget for this show.”
Mike: “Awe, come on, Oldie. There’s fisticuffs at stake here. Surely we can find some wiggle room for one meal.”
Doog: “Do it to prevent the fisticuffs, Oldie. Do it.”
Oldie: “I think this whole thing was a set up, but fine. We can have one meal, but I get to pick where we eat.”
Doog: “Yes! Fisticuffs have been averted.”
Cam: “Seriously, who says fisticuffs? Why are we saying fisticuffs so much? Are we trying to set the record for the most mentions of fisticuffs in a single conversation?”
Two Hours Later…
Taxi Driver: “We’re approaching the center of the void. We should start running into occasional space stations.”
Mike: “Sweet, finally.”
Doog: “Hey, look guys. There’s a freaking diner out here. Burgers, fries, hot dogs, and PIZZA! Pick this place, Oldie! Please! Please!”
Oldie: “Hmm. That does sound good. But let’s see what else there is first.”
Doog: “Did you not hear about the pizza? Turn up your hearing aids, you old geezer.”
Oldie: “I heard you just fine. And, that geezer comment makes this diner a definite no.”
Mike: “Couldn’t you just be quiet for once, Doog?”
Mike: “Sweet, finally.”
Doog: “Hey, look guys. There’s a freaking diner out here. Burgers, fries, hot dogs, and PIZZA! Pick this place, Oldie! Please! Please!”
Oldie: “Hmm. That does sound good. But let’s see what else there is first.”
Doog: “Did you not hear about the pizza? Turn up your hearing aids, you old geezer.”
Oldie: “I heard you just fine. And, that geezer comment makes this diner a definite no.”
Mike: “Couldn’t you just be quiet for once, Doog?”
Doog: “I can’t believe you chose a sushi joint.”
Oldie: “Poe’s Sushi. What’s wrong with that?”
Doog: “Well, for starters, we’re at least three hundred light years from the nearest ocean. The freshness of this raw fish must be called into question.”
Oldie: “Poe’s Sushi. What’s wrong with that?”
Doog: “Well, for starters, we’re at least three hundred light years from the nearest ocean. The freshness of this raw fish must be called into question.”
Mike: “It’s different, I guess. Not necessarily a good different, but different.”
Cam: “You can really taste the chemical preservatives. It’s almost like eating an ammonia filled sponge.”
Oldie: “Alright, alright. This is the worst, but it’s Doog fault.”
Cam: “You can really taste the chemical preservatives. It’s almost like eating an ammonia filled sponge.”
Oldie: “Alright, alright. This is the worst, but it’s Doog fault.”
Doog: “How is it my fault? You chose this place.”
Oldie: “You called me a geezer, and I couldn’t let that slide. And, even though the diner would have been vastly superior, I couldn’t choose it. I couldn’t let you win.”
Doog: “So…we’re sitting here eating warm, chemically-laden sushi because I’m a jerk and you’re too petty to let it go?”
Oldie: “More or less.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
Oldie: “You called me a geezer, and I couldn’t let that slide. And, even though the diner would have been vastly superior, I couldn’t choose it. I couldn’t let you win.”
Doog: “So…we’re sitting here eating warm, chemically-laden sushi because I’m a jerk and you’re too petty to let it go?”
Oldie: “More or less.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
Cam: “Mike and I are the true losers here. We weren’t even in your fight, but here we sit, eating this so-called sushi.”
Doog: “Nah. The true loser is going to be the Magellan’s bathroom tomorrow. I can already tell that this sushi is not going to be pretty coming out.”
Mike: “The ship won’t smell the same for weeks.”
Cam: “You know, if you take the ‘E’ out of ‘Poe’s’, the sign describes this place pretty accurately.”
Oldie: “P.O.S. Yep, that’s about right.”
Mike: “Well, it looks like we’re all friends again. Can we please leave this disgusting space sushi place and continue the show?”
Doog: “We’re friends until the fight for the bathroom starts tomorrow. But, yes. Let’s get going.”
Doog: “Nah. The true loser is going to be the Magellan’s bathroom tomorrow. I can already tell that this sushi is not going to be pretty coming out.”
Mike: “The ship won’t smell the same for weeks.”
Cam: “You know, if you take the ‘E’ out of ‘Poe’s’, the sign describes this place pretty accurately.”
Oldie: “P.O.S. Yep, that’s about right.”
Mike: “Well, it looks like we’re all friends again. Can we please leave this disgusting space sushi place and continue the show?”
Doog: “We’re friends until the fight for the bathroom starts tomorrow. But, yes. Let’s get going.”
Doog: “Well, we know there’s restaurants out here in the void, but what else is there?”
Mike: “Looks like there’s a fueling station over here. And look, they sell pizza too. We could have avoided the whole sushi disaster after all.”
Oldie: “Gas station pizza? We were probably safer with the sushi.”
Doog: “I think we should probably avoid eating anything in the Void. Just to be safe.”
Cam: “Let’s not jump to conclusions. There’s a shop next door to the fueling station. We might be able to score some cheap food to restock the Magellan. Might be worth a look.”
Oldie: “You had me at cheap.”
Mike: “Looks like there’s a fueling station over here. And look, they sell pizza too. We could have avoided the whole sushi disaster after all.”
Oldie: “Gas station pizza? We were probably safer with the sushi.”
Doog: “I think we should probably avoid eating anything in the Void. Just to be safe.”
Cam: “Let’s not jump to conclusions. There’s a shop next door to the fueling station. We might be able to score some cheap food to restock the Magellan. Might be worth a look.”
Oldie: “You had me at cheap.”
Mike: “It smells like I don’t want to be in here anymore. Hail the taxi!”
Doog: “Is that the food or has the sushi aftermath already started?”
Cam: “Ok. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. Shopping for food in deep space is not a good idea.”
Doog: “Is that the food or has the sushi aftermath already started?”
Cam: “Ok. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. Shopping for food in deep space is not a good idea.”
Oldie: “I think the smell is coming from that produce. The non-perishables look alright, though. We might be able to grab a few cans of something.”
Doog: “You might want to check the expiration date on those. They look older than you.”
Oldie: “I don’t even see a date on them. The labels look like they were handwritten. Can anyone read Presciant?”
Doog: “Maybe we shouldn’t buy random cans of mystery food.”
Cam: “I’m with Doog on this one.”
Mike: “I like to think that I’m the adventurous type…but maybe not with food.”
Oldie: “Fine. But if I find out these cans were pony soup, I’m not going to be happy.”
Doog: “You might want to check the expiration date on those. They look older than you.”
Oldie: “I don’t even see a date on them. The labels look like they were handwritten. Can anyone read Presciant?”
Doog: “Maybe we shouldn’t buy random cans of mystery food.”
Cam: “I’m with Doog on this one.”
Mike: “I like to think that I’m the adventurous type…but maybe not with food.”
Oldie: “Fine. But if I find out these cans were pony soup, I’m not going to be happy.”
Doog: “So, in quick summary, the Nihil Void does not have good food. It’s just too far away from any settled worlds to be fresh. If you were stranded or starving and had no choice, then I guess the stuff they have would be ok.”
Mike: “Edible…yes. Delicious…no.”
Doog: “Alright. So, what else does the void offer?”
Mike: “Edible…yes. Delicious…no.”
Doog: “Alright. So, what else does the void offer?”
Oldie: “Looks like there’s a place to have your ship repaired.”
Doog: “That could be handy out here in the void. Hey, is that a bank over there?”
Mike: “What’s a bank doing way out here?”
Doog: “I don’t know. Taxi guy, what’s up with the bank?”
Taxi Driver: “It’s mostly there for predatory lending. People stranded in the void might need money for ship repairs or food. The bank loans out money with huge interest rates.”
Doog: “That makes a lot of sense. It’s terrible, but it makes sense.”
Taxi Driver: “The bank is good for more than that though. It’s where everyone goes to get single credits.”
Doog: “Single credits?”
Doog: “That could be handy out here in the void. Hey, is that a bank over there?”
Mike: “What’s a bank doing way out here?”
Doog: “I don’t know. Taxi guy, what’s up with the bank?”
Taxi Driver: “It’s mostly there for predatory lending. People stranded in the void might need money for ship repairs or food. The bank loans out money with huge interest rates.”
Doog: “That makes a lot of sense. It’s terrible, but it makes sense.”
Taxi Driver: “The bank is good for more than that though. It’s where everyone goes to get single credits.”
Doog: “Single credits?”
Taxi Driver: “Yeah. Single credits for the clubs.”
Doog: “Do you mean strip clubs? I’m actually hating the void a little less now.”
Taxi Driver: “Yeah, of course. You guys didn’t know about the clubs? I thought this was a bachelor party or something. No one voluntarily comes out here unless it’s for the clubs.”
Mike: “We should have skipped that terrible sushi meal and came here. The credits would have been put to better use.”
Doog: “We couldn’t have known. Who would have suspected the Nihil Void would have so many strip clubs?”
Taxi Driver: “It makes a lot of sense actually. There’s lots of lonely travelers passing through here. The clubs do well out here.”
Doog: “What do you say, Oldie? Do you think we can squeeze a few more credits out of the budget and check out the clubs?”
Oldie: “Well, it’s for the show. I guess.”
Doog: “Do you mean strip clubs? I’m actually hating the void a little less now.”
Taxi Driver: “Yeah, of course. You guys didn’t know about the clubs? I thought this was a bachelor party or something. No one voluntarily comes out here unless it’s for the clubs.”
Mike: “We should have skipped that terrible sushi meal and came here. The credits would have been put to better use.”
Doog: “We couldn’t have known. Who would have suspected the Nihil Void would have so many strip clubs?”
Taxi Driver: “It makes a lot of sense actually. There’s lots of lonely travelers passing through here. The clubs do well out here.”
Doog: “What do you say, Oldie? Do you think we can squeeze a few more credits out of the budget and check out the clubs?”
Oldie: “Well, it’s for the show. I guess.”
Doog: “Oldie, I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about you. You’re the best.”
Oldie: “Thanks. This is sort of nice.”
Oldie: “Thanks. This is sort of nice.”
Doog: “It could be nicer though. Right now, we’re just window shopping. The girls are behind the glass. We could be interacting with the goods.”
Oldie: “What do you mean?”
Oldie: “What do you mean?”
Doog: “There’s a VIP room. Only 30 credits.”
Oldie: “Yeah right. Do you think we have 120 credits to spare?”
Doog: “Well, maybe not 120, but possibly 30. Just send me in. I’ll get the inside scoop for the show.”
Mike: “That wouldn’t be fair!”
Doog: “Of course it wouldn’t be. But we need inside for the show, and Oldie said we couldn’t afford for everyone to go. Blame him.”
Oldie: “I’m not sending anyone in! We don’t have 30 credits!”
Doog: “I reapply everything I’ve said about you! You’re the worst!”
Oldie: “Yeah right. Do you think we have 120 credits to spare?”
Doog: “Well, maybe not 120, but possibly 30. Just send me in. I’ll get the inside scoop for the show.”
Mike: “That wouldn’t be fair!”
Doog: “Of course it wouldn’t be. But we need inside for the show, and Oldie said we couldn’t afford for everyone to go. Blame him.”
Oldie: “I’m not sending anyone in! We don’t have 30 credits!”
Doog: “I reapply everything I’ve said about you! You’re the worst!”
Bunny: “Um, excuse me, gentlemen.”
Doog: “Well, hello there.”
Mike: “Why did your voice get deeper when you said that?”
Doog: “Shut up, Mike! I’m using some classic Doog charm.”
Mike: “I’m so embarrassed for you right now.”
Bunny: “If I can interrupt, there’s no filming allowed unless you plan on compensating the workers.”
Doog: “Uh…we didn’t really think about that. What type of compensation are we talking about? A credit a piece?”
Bunny: “Ha. Hardly. We get paid hundreds for video appearances.”
Doog: “Hundreds? That’s more than I get paid!”
Bunny: “Well, you might want to consider switching professions. Either way, you need to stop filming or cough up the cash.”
Doog: “We’ll stop.”
Bunny: “Very well, but I’m still charging your account for the footage already obtained. “
Doog: “How much?”
Bunny: “I think fifty is fair.”
Doog: “Fifty! Oldie is going to stroke out.”
Doog: “Well, hello there.”
Mike: “Why did your voice get deeper when you said that?”
Doog: “Shut up, Mike! I’m using some classic Doog charm.”
Mike: “I’m so embarrassed for you right now.”
Bunny: “If I can interrupt, there’s no filming allowed unless you plan on compensating the workers.”
Doog: “Uh…we didn’t really think about that. What type of compensation are we talking about? A credit a piece?”
Bunny: “Ha. Hardly. We get paid hundreds for video appearances.”
Doog: “Hundreds? That’s more than I get paid!”
Bunny: “Well, you might want to consider switching professions. Either way, you need to stop filming or cough up the cash.”
Doog: “We’ll stop.”
Bunny: “Very well, but I’m still charging your account for the footage already obtained. “
Doog: “How much?”
Bunny: “I think fifty is fair.”
Doog: “Fifty! Oldie is going to stroke out.”
Doog: “We need to leave.”
Oldie: “Why? Is little Doogy still pouting about the VIP Room?”
Doog: “Well, I was going to tell you nicely, but you deserve this. We might have just bankrupted the show by coming here. We got nailed for fifty credits for filming inside the club. And, every minute we continue to film in here, we’re getting charged more.”
Oldie: “What!”
Doog: “Let’s go, now!”
Oldie: “Why? Is little Doogy still pouting about the VIP Room?”
Doog: “Well, I was going to tell you nicely, but you deserve this. We might have just bankrupted the show by coming here. We got nailed for fifty credits for filming inside the club. And, every minute we continue to film in here, we’re getting charged more.”
Oldie: “What!”
Doog: “Let’s go, now!”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s the Nihil Void. This starless region of the galaxy is far from empty. The region is populated by dozens of small space stations, each with its own purpose. There’s places to buy food, supplies, and repairs. There’s also some extracurricular places to meet the needs of lonely travelers. I can’t help but to feel that we’re all taking a part of the void home with us, because we now have a void in our stomachs, hearts, and wallets. Can we borrow some credits? Oh well, see ya.”
Note:
Note:
Oldie: “I came up with a graph to show our financial situation.”
Doog: “Finances going way down. Got it. Very helpful.”
Mike: “At least he’s trying. I haven’t heard any good ideas from you.”
Doog: “Were you not there when I mentioned my Timbo plan?”
Mike: “I was there. And I wouldn’t classify that as a good idea.”
Doog: “Why not?”
Mike: “We’re not robbing Timbo!”
Doog: “What are we going to do then?”
Cam: “We’re going to have to cut something out of the budget.”
Oldie: “That’s the problem though. We’d already cut everything to the bare minimum before the strip club incident. We’re running on minimum food and fuel. What’s left to cut?”
Doog: “Does anyone know how to edit? We can cut out Timbo’s job.”
Timbo: “I can hear everything you’re saying.”
Doog: “This is awkward. Uh…this is just a dream. Go back to sleep. No one will rob or fire you.”
Timbo: “Look. I’ll pay the deficit out of my savings. But, since Doog was being such a jerk, I’m going to need something in return.”
Oldie: “Name it.”
Doog: “This isn’t going to be good for me…is it?”
Doog: “Finances going way down. Got it. Very helpful.”
Mike: “At least he’s trying. I haven’t heard any good ideas from you.”
Doog: “Were you not there when I mentioned my Timbo plan?”
Mike: “I was there. And I wouldn’t classify that as a good idea.”
Doog: “Why not?”
Mike: “We’re not robbing Timbo!”
Doog: “What are we going to do then?”
Cam: “We’re going to have to cut something out of the budget.”
Oldie: “That’s the problem though. We’d already cut everything to the bare minimum before the strip club incident. We’re running on minimum food and fuel. What’s left to cut?”
Doog: “Does anyone know how to edit? We can cut out Timbo’s job.”
Timbo: “I can hear everything you’re saying.”
Doog: “This is awkward. Uh…this is just a dream. Go back to sleep. No one will rob or fire you.”
Timbo: “Look. I’ll pay the deficit out of my savings. But, since Doog was being such a jerk, I’m going to need something in return.”
Oldie: “Name it.”
Doog: “This isn’t going to be good for me…is it?”
