There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Frendo
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the gas giant, Frendo. Frendo is a bit of an oddity, as it has more helium than it does hydrogen. This was probably caused by hydrogen evaporation, which is a byproduct of orbiting close to its star. Whatever the cause, this makes Frendo a great source of helium. Let’s head down and find out more.”
Doog: “Frendo doesn’t have any oxygen-rich, habitable layers. So, you won’t find people driving hover-boats, nor will there be open-air floating cities. The only survivable area within Frendo is Station N-A-2-H-E. I’m not sure if that spells something or if you are supposed to say every letter. From this point forward, I’m just going to call it, ‘the snowflake’, because it sort of looks like one.”
Doog: “The station’s new name immediately loses all validation as the Magellan approaches and the station’s profile changes. I can’t see a snowflake anymore. Screw it. N-A-2-H-E, it is.”
Barthold: “Welcome, Doog. I am Barthold Wehner, Chief Industrial Officer on Station N-A-2-H-E.”
Doog: “Well, that answers one thing, you do say the letters. Got it. One more thing, did you just say your name was butt-hole-wiener? How much did your parents hate you?”
Barthold: “NO! Barthold Wehner! Barthold is my first name. Wehner, not wiener.”
Doog: “Maybe it’s your accent, but all I hear is…”
Barthold: “Just call me, Bart!”
Doog: “Will do. Well, we fixed your naming issue, now let’s move onto the station’s name. Why is it called N-A-2-H-E.”
Barthold: “It’s the chemical formula of Disodium Helide, our chief export.”
Doog: “That makes some sense. N-A-2-H-E is a mouthful, but it’s better than that other thing you said. What was that again?”
Barthold: “Disodium Helide.”
Doog: “Tell me more about that.”
Doog: “Well, that answers one thing, you do say the letters. Got it. One more thing, did you just say your name was butt-hole-wiener? How much did your parents hate you?”
Barthold: “NO! Barthold Wehner! Barthold is my first name. Wehner, not wiener.”
Doog: “Maybe it’s your accent, but all I hear is…”
Barthold: “Just call me, Bart!”
Doog: “Will do. Well, we fixed your naming issue, now let’s move onto the station’s name. Why is it called N-A-2-H-E.”
Barthold: “It’s the chemical formula of Disodium Helide, our chief export.”
Doog: “That makes some sense. N-A-2-H-E is a mouthful, but it’s better than that other thing you said. What was that again?”
Barthold: “Disodium Helide.”
Doog: “Tell me more about that.”
Barthold: “Disodium Helide consists of the elements Sodium and Helium. So, to manufacture it, we need these elements.”
Doog: “The helium part should be easy.”
Barthold: “More or less. Frendo is obviously abundant in Helium, but it’s nearly impossible to pull only helium from the atmosphere. Any helium we grab from the atmosphere is tainted with the other elements present in the atmosphere, like hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane.”
Doog: “The helium part should be easy.”
Barthold: “More or less. Frendo is obviously abundant in Helium, but it’s nearly impossible to pull only helium from the atmosphere. Any helium we grab from the atmosphere is tainted with the other elements present in the atmosphere, like hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane.”
Barthold: “In labs, like this, we remove all contaminants.”
Doog: “How?”
Barthold: “Helium has an extremely low boiling point. We drop the temperature low enough that all remaining gases precipitate out.”
Doog: “Precipitate? You mean, like, rain?”
Barthold: “Yes. It gets so cold that all the other gases turn to liquid and drain away.”
Doog: “Seems simple enough.”
Barthold: “If achieving -255° Celsius is seen as easy.”
Doog: “How?”
Barthold: “Helium has an extremely low boiling point. We drop the temperature low enough that all remaining gases precipitate out.”
Doog: “Precipitate? You mean, like, rain?”
Barthold: “Yes. It gets so cold that all the other gases turn to liquid and drain away.”
Doog: “Seems simple enough.”
Barthold: “If achieving -255° Celsius is seen as easy.”
Barthold: “The sodium portion of production is a bit more difficult.”
Doog: “How? Isn’t sodium just salt?”
Barthold: “Salt is sodium and chlorine. Importing table salt would create even more work. We prefer to import sodium itself.”
Doog: “Import?”
Barthold: “There’s no accessible sodium on Frendo. We have to import it.”
Doog: “What’s all this then? And, why is it more difficult?”
Barthold: “Pure sodium is pretty reactive. It’s shipped in oxygen-free, anhydrous mineral oil to avoid reactions. These machines remove the oil and restore the pure sodium.”
Doog: “Once everything’s pure – sodium and helium – what happens?”
Barthold: “The pure helium and sodium are precisely combined. Two sodium atoms for every helium atom.”
Doog: “How? Isn’t sodium just salt?”
Barthold: “Salt is sodium and chlorine. Importing table salt would create even more work. We prefer to import sodium itself.”
Doog: “Import?”
Barthold: “There’s no accessible sodium on Frendo. We have to import it.”
Doog: “What’s all this then? And, why is it more difficult?”
Barthold: “Pure sodium is pretty reactive. It’s shipped in oxygen-free, anhydrous mineral oil to avoid reactions. These machines remove the oil and restore the pure sodium.”
Doog: “Once everything’s pure – sodium and helium – what happens?”
Barthold: “The pure helium and sodium are precisely combined. Two sodium atoms for every helium atom.”
Doog: “And that makes Disodium Helide?”
Barthold: “No. N-A-2-H-E can only be formed under extreme pressures. Helium is very inert. It doesn’t form compounds under normal conditions.”
Doog: “Helium doesn’t work well with others. Sounds like me. I finally have a tattoo idea.”
Barthold: “A helium atom?”
Doog: “No, a tattoo that says, ‘doesn’t work well with others.’”
Barthold: “Oh.”
Doog: “So, how is it made then?”
Barthold: “The containers of ratioed helium and sodium are loaded onto a Bobber.”
Doog: “Bobber?”
Barthold: “Yeah, that’s what we call them.”
Barthold: “No. N-A-2-H-E can only be formed under extreme pressures. Helium is very inert. It doesn’t form compounds under normal conditions.”
Doog: “Helium doesn’t work well with others. Sounds like me. I finally have a tattoo idea.”
Barthold: “A helium atom?”
Doog: “No, a tattoo that says, ‘doesn’t work well with others.’”
Barthold: “Oh.”
Doog: “So, how is it made then?”
Barthold: “The containers of ratioed helium and sodium are loaded onto a Bobber.”
Doog: “Bobber?”
Barthold: “Yeah, that’s what we call them.”
Barthold: “The Bobber is then fired deep into Frendo. The extreme pressures, deep in the gas giant, force the elements to combine into Disodium Helide.”
Barthold: “Repulsion cranes pull the Bobber back into the facility. Workers then quickly collect the cannisters. Disodium Helide is not stable for long after it’s removed from pressure.”
Doog: “All I can think about right now is the giant hole in the floor that I’m standing way too close to.”
Barthold: “That’s the least of your worries. If the containers fall below 100 gigapascals, the Disodium Helide violently decompresses back into sodium and helium.”
Doog: “That’s…bad?”
Barthold: “Violently decompresses…yes, bad.”
Doog: “All I can think about right now is the giant hole in the floor that I’m standing way too close to.”
Barthold: “That’s the least of your worries. If the containers fall below 100 gigapascals, the Disodium Helide violently decompresses back into sodium and helium.”
Doog: “That’s…bad?”
Barthold: “Violently decompresses…yes, bad.”
Barthold: “The containers are built to stay pressurized for about twenty minutes. They must be moved to more secure containers quickly. We have a large crew of workers that unload the dangerous compound with EM Shield Handlers.”
Doog: “What if something happens and they can’t unload and secure the N-A-2-H-E?”
Barthold: “The Bobber can be relaunched and the timer restarts.”
Doog: “What about the removed containers?”
Barthold: “Once removed, the workers must deliver the compound. It should not be difficult with the Handlers. It’s less than a minute from the Bobber to the armory.”
Doog: “Armory?”
Barthold: “We won’t be touring there. We can’t get in the way of the time-sensitive workers and the storage is confidential.”
Doog: “What if something happens and they can’t unload and secure the N-A-2-H-E?”
Barthold: “The Bobber can be relaunched and the timer restarts.”
Doog: “What about the removed containers?”
Barthold: “Once removed, the workers must deliver the compound. It should not be difficult with the Handlers. It’s less than a minute from the Bobber to the armory.”
Doog: “Armory?”
Barthold: “We won’t be touring there. We can’t get in the way of the time-sensitive workers and the storage is confidential.”
Doog: “So, these are the more permanent containers for the Disodium Helide?”
Barthold: “Yes. The casing’s machinery can keep the compound stable indefinitely…well, as long as there is a power source.”
Doog: “Judging by the armory comment earlier, are these bombs?”
Barthold: “Yes…very destructive ones at that. N-A-2-H-E, as I previously mentioned, violently decompresses. There’s no chemical reaction required; only depressurization.”
Doog: “Huh?”
Barthold: “When the weapon is dropped, the pressure stabilization can be turned off whenever you choose. The Disodium Helide decompresses about .0005 seconds after.”
Doog: “Essentially, you can control when these bombs explode.”
Barthold: “Yes, it will explode at whatever height, depth, or time you choose. It’s a very customizable munition.”
Doog: “I…think that’s all I need. Thanks for everything.”
Barthold: “Yes. The casing’s machinery can keep the compound stable indefinitely…well, as long as there is a power source.”
Doog: “Judging by the armory comment earlier, are these bombs?”
Barthold: “Yes…very destructive ones at that. N-A-2-H-E, as I previously mentioned, violently decompresses. There’s no chemical reaction required; only depressurization.”
Doog: “Huh?”
Barthold: “When the weapon is dropped, the pressure stabilization can be turned off whenever you choose. The Disodium Helide decompresses about .0005 seconds after.”
Doog: “Essentially, you can control when these bombs explode.”
Barthold: “Yes, it will explode at whatever height, depth, or time you choose. It’s a very customizable munition.”
Doog: “I…think that’s all I need. Thanks for everything.”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s Frendo. This place makes bombs from the exotic material, Disodium Helide. This chemically volatile substance is made by launching pure sodium and helium into the extreme crushing depths of the gas giant. I wish I knew what was happening on this planet before I called my guide a butt-hole-wiener. I’m a little scared now. He’s probably not my ‘Frendo’. See what I did there? Oh well, see ya!”
Note: Disodium Helide bombs explode at roughly the same pressure they are created, 113 gigapascals. This is enough to level several city blocks, especially if depressurized as an air burst. Unlike similar munitions of its power, Disodium Helide bombs leave no radiation; only sodium and helium.
Note: Disodium Helide bombs explode at roughly the same pressure they are created, 113 gigapascals. This is enough to level several city blocks, especially if depressurized as an air burst. Unlike similar munitions of its power, Disodium Helide bombs leave no radiation; only sodium and helium.
