Season 2 - Episode 3 - Tironis

LIU Atlas - Tironis

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 

                                                                 LIU Atlas - Tironis

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.  


Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I'm your host, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. Today we are visiting the planet of Tironis. Tironis and its star Relagi are located along the Corcot Run, an important trade route within the LIU Galaxy. Unfortunately, the LIU has not been able to take advantage of Tironis’ prime location because its atmosphere does not support life as we know it. But, as you all know, there is nothing that can stand between the LIU and an economic opportunity. That's why Tironis is being terraformed.”

Doog: "Joining me today is Colonel Harry Bull, head of the 210th Terraforming Security Regiment (TSR). The Colonel and 210th were assigned to Tironis to protect the planet's terraforming operations. They are based out of Fort Redemption, which is visible behind me. How are you sir?"
Colonel: "I'll be much better when we finally get this door closed. I mean, what's the point of having a fort when you leave the door wide open?"
Doog: "Sorry Sir, I didn't know things were so dangerous here."
Colonel: "You're right, you are sorry Doog. Any fool would see the danger here. We're terraforming a planet for kaadu's sake. Every species on this planet is in danger of being wiped out. It's just a matter of time before they catch on and attack."
Doog: "Oh, I see. Well, let's head inside."

Colonel: "Fort Redemption is our main base here on Tironis. It houses the 210th and several labs, and more importantly, it protects the most vital part of the terraforming operations, the CIAM Stacks."
Doog: "What are CIAM Stacks?"
Colonel: "They are Chemical Induced Atmospheric Manipulation Stacks. These two stacks process Tironis’ atmosphere using advanced chemicals. They draw in the poisonous air and exhale breathable air. At their current operating speed, experts predict the entire atmosphere will be converted in approximately thirty years. Until then, it is vital that we protect them at all costs."

Colonel: "Fort Redemption utilizes several methods of protection, including high walls, huge machine guns, and these hardsuits."
Doog: "Oh, oh. Can I test drive one?"
Colonel: "Only if you can get in before I shoot you."
Doog: "I think I'll pass. What's next?"

Colonel: "Against my wishes, the suits thought it would be nice to have a greenhouse to grow fresh vegetables. I mean, come on, this is a fort. I could be utilizing this space for more machine guns or other killing devices."
Soldier Billy: "But the green beans are really nice sir."
Colonel: "What did I tell you about loose lips Billy!"
Billy: "They...sink terraforming operations sir.."
Colonel: "That's right. So keep your mouth shut."

Doog: "Green beans are cool and all, but the viewers may be looking for something, I don't know, interesting."
Colonel: "Well, I guess we head inside and check out the CIAM's inner workings."
Doog: "Sounds good."

Colonel: "This is the CIAM's main operating chamber. Scientists load various chemicals into processing units and do some science stuff. Honestly, I have no idea how it works."
Doog: "You lost me at scientist, Colonel. Anyway, hold on a second."

Doog: "I have to get out of this stupid helmet. It's stifling."
Colonel: "Uh Doog..."

Colonel: "There's no atmosphere in here. Yeah, the chemicals might get mixed into the facility's controlled atmosphere. We couldn't risk it. Are you Ok? Hey Billy, come in here and shoot Doog in leg. Maybe it will make him wake up."

Doog: "Well folks, I've been revived, and thanks to Billy's poor shooting, I can still walk. What's this big screen Colonel?"
Colonel: "This is a breakdown of Tironis' atmosphere. The darker levels indicated the current levels and the lighter colors indicate the final goal."
Doog: "Hmmm...cool. The colors are pretty. Shall we move on?"

Doog: "We've exited the facility to the north, and we are now outside of the safety of Fort Redemption. The Colonel has arranged a security detail for us as we explore the rest of the planet. What do we have here Colonel?"

Colonel: "This here is one of Tironis' Magnetic Field Generators. In addition to having a poisonous atmosphere, Tironis also has a weak magnetic field. This allows dangerous solar radiation to reach the surface."
Doog: "And this contraption stops it?"
Colonel: "Yes Doog. We have Generators like this on each side of the planet creating an artificial magnetic field."
Doog: "Whoa, what's that. I think I'm getting audio from Lifetime for Women through my filling. Let's get out of here. Hurry!"

Doog: "What's that?!?"
Colonel: "Oh dear god! Safeties off boys, we have Tironian Ball Toad here!"

Doog: "Is it dangerous? Should I run?"
Colonel: "It has to be dangerous. Look at those shifty eyes! Prepare to fire."

Scientist: "Actually, they're quite docile. They never venture far from the spot they are born, hence their skinny legs. Besides, they are herbivores. Now, if you boys will kindly lower you weapons, we are going to get some DNA samples."
Doog: "DNA samples?"
Colonel: "Yeah, like I said earlier, the terraforming efforts are going to cause all of Tironis' native species to go extinct. We mustn’t allow such valuable genetic information to be lost forever, so we are compiling a complete catalogue of all of Tironis' species. After all the DNA is catalogued, we'll just let nature, uh...technology take its course."
Doog: "In other words, your just going to let them all die painful, suffocating deaths."
Colonel: "Pretty much."
Doog: "Cool. What's next?"

Colonel: "Some of the more promising species, such as the these Poison Thorn Flowers, are being saved in small biospheres."

Colonel: "We are saving more than just the promising species. We are also saving the planet's native sentient species, the Tironians."
Doog: "That's nice of you guys."
Colonel: "Actually, it wasn't our choice. Universal Laws prohibit the purposeful extinction of any sentient species."

Colonel: "So instead, we're rounding them all up one by one. It's hard work, but admittedly, it's also sort of fun. Oh look at Carlos! He's snagged a big one."

Colonel: "The prisoners, I mean natives, are then loaded into a LIU All Terrain Prisoner Transport and transported to various prisons, I mean temporary holding areas, on the planet."

Colonel: They are held in these temporary reserves like this one until a more permanent reserve can be set up."
Doog: "Reserves?"
Colonel: "Yeah. We'll build some type of bio-dome in some remote corner of the planet and shove them all inside. We'll teach them how to run a casino and they'll be fine from there."

Colonel: "We observe the natives from behind this one way glass and try to learn more about their species."
Doog: "What have you learned so far?"
Colonel: "Well, they appear to be a terrified species. They are always huddled in the corner crying. I'm not sure what their problem is. Anyway, we've learned much more about them through other means. If you follow me, I'll show you."

Doog: "What's this?"
Colonel: "This is our Science Lab. Here, we learn about the Tironians from the inside out."

Colonel: "They are poked, prodded, dissected, and studied."
Doog: "Ewww. What does that tell you?"

Colonel: "It tells me that their innards smell. That's about it. The scientists might be getting more information than that."
Doog: "You lost me at scientist."

Doog: "Well folks, that's all for this time. Thanks for joining us!"


Note: A million species were harmed during the filming of this episode.


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