There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Mumia
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Mid-Rim planet, Mumia. Mumia’s thick atmosphere and greenhouse gases distribute heat across the planet, allowing for the growth of massive forests and jungles. They literally cover about seventy percent of the planet. Let’s head down and check it out.”
Doog: “Well folks, we’re still doing this thing where the crew gets to pick which planets to visit. Today, we kill two birds with one stone because Amaya and Seitse both picked Mumia. All three of us have been dropped off in the middle of the planet-spanning jungle. As you can see, we’re on some type of elevated walkway that puts us right in the jungle’s canopy. Supposedly, these walkways were built to allow workers to pick the jungle’s fruit easier.”
Doog: “Workers don’t utilize these walkways these days. Instead, they use more-advanced walking platforms – with hydraulic lifts. I’m not sure what they’re picking though.”
Seitse: “Another thoroughly researched planet for our ‘star’ host.”
Doog: “I don’t like how you did the air quotes while saying that, Seitse! Besides, you heard me talking about those lifts. How many things do you want me to memorize about this planet.”
Amaya: “Preferably more than one fact, and definitely the most important one. They grow Mumiya.”
Doog: “You say that like I’m supposed to know what that is.”
Amaya: “My bad. I forgot that you haven’t purposely eaten a healthy thing in your life. Mumiya is a superfruit that’s rich in vitamins and antioxidants.”
Seitse: “Not to mention its taste. Mumiya is one of the most delicious fruits in this galaxy.”
Seitse: “Another thoroughly researched planet for our ‘star’ host.”
Doog: “I don’t like how you did the air quotes while saying that, Seitse! Besides, you heard me talking about those lifts. How many things do you want me to memorize about this planet.”
Amaya: “Preferably more than one fact, and definitely the most important one. They grow Mumiya.”
Doog: “You say that like I’m supposed to know what that is.”
Amaya: “My bad. I forgot that you haven’t purposely eaten a healthy thing in your life. Mumiya is a superfruit that’s rich in vitamins and antioxidants.”
Seitse: “Not to mention its taste. Mumiya is one of the most delicious fruits in this galaxy.”
Amaya: “That’s why we picked Mumia. We wanted to experience our favorite fruit the freshest way possible.”
Doog: “What is this place?”
Amaya: “A fruit bar. They serve fresh Mumiya to tourists.”
Doog: “You guys actually picked a good planet?! I thought you were going to be like Oldie and send me somewhere terrible.”
Seitse: “We wouldn’t have come with you, if it was somewhere terrible.”
Doog: “What is this place?”
Amaya: “A fruit bar. They serve fresh Mumiya to tourists.”
Doog: “You guys actually picked a good planet?! I thought you were going to be like Oldie and send me somewhere terrible.”
Seitse: “We wouldn’t have come with you, if it was somewhere terrible.”
Amaya: “So, what are we trying first? The fruit spread or the smoothie?”
Doog: “I’m going to have to go with a smoothie.”
Amaya: “Actually, I was talking to Seitse. I figured you wouldn’t want healthy stuff.”
Doog: “Well, not usually, but you mentioned something about it being the most delicious in the galaxy. I figured I might as well try it while I’m here. Besides, I’m not going to just stand here and watch you guys eat. That wouldn’t be a very exciting show.”
Amaya: “About that…there’s another point of interest on Mumia. I kind of figured you’d go check that out while we enjoyed our Mamiya.”
Doog: “What!?”
Amaya: “It’s just that we’ve done so many shows about fruits in the LIU Galaxy. This show really needs something else…something more cultural.”
Doog: “You’re not coming with me?”
Amaya: “The rule was the crew gets to pick the next few planets – nothing was said about accompanying you.”
Doog: “This isn’t going to be a good planet, is it?!”
Seitse: “I guess you’ll just have to find out.”
Amaya: “Your guide will meet you further down the platform.”
Doog: “I’m going to have to go with a smoothie.”
Amaya: “Actually, I was talking to Seitse. I figured you wouldn’t want healthy stuff.”
Doog: “Well, not usually, but you mentioned something about it being the most delicious in the galaxy. I figured I might as well try it while I’m here. Besides, I’m not going to just stand here and watch you guys eat. That wouldn’t be a very exciting show.”
Amaya: “About that…there’s another point of interest on Mumia. I kind of figured you’d go check that out while we enjoyed our Mamiya.”
Doog: “What!?”
Amaya: “It’s just that we’ve done so many shows about fruits in the LIU Galaxy. This show really needs something else…something more cultural.”
Doog: “You’re not coming with me?”
Amaya: “The rule was the crew gets to pick the next few planets – nothing was said about accompanying you.”
Doog: “This isn’t going to be a good planet, is it?!”
Seitse: “I guess you’ll just have to find out.”
Amaya: “Your guide will meet you further down the platform.”
Doog: “I knew this was too good to be true. What do they have in store for me?”
Beans: “You must be Doog. I’m Ricky Beanes. I’m a Cultural Anthropologist that studies the native Mummia.”
Doog: “Your last name is Beans?”
Beans: “Beanes, actually.”
Doog: “I’m definitely calling you Beans. Don’t bother arguing, Beans.”
Beans: “Uh…that will work, I guess.”
Doog: “So, what does a cultural apologist do, Beans? Say sorry to the natives? Or make them say sorry? Is that what the gun is for?”
Beans: “Not apologist – anthropologist. I study different cultures. Right now, I’m studying the local sentient race. We call them the Mummia.”
Doog: “And the gun?”
Beans: “The locals can be a bit…unpredictable.”
Doog: “I knew this wasn’t a good planet…”
Doog: “Your last name is Beans?”
Beans: “Beanes, actually.”
Doog: “I’m definitely calling you Beans. Don’t bother arguing, Beans.”
Beans: “Uh…that will work, I guess.”
Doog: “So, what does a cultural apologist do, Beans? Say sorry to the natives? Or make them say sorry? Is that what the gun is for?”
Beans: “Not apologist – anthropologist. I study different cultures. Right now, I’m studying the local sentient race. We call them the Mummia.”
Doog: “And the gun?”
Beans: “The locals can be a bit…unpredictable.”
Doog: “I knew this wasn’t a good planet…”
Beans: “It’s not too bad. This local tribe has gotten pretty used to me by now. We have a general understanding.”
Doog: “I hope so, because these guys look scary. Look at those tusks, Beans.”
Beans: “The longer they are, the more sexually dominant the individual is.”
Doog: “I hope so, because these guys look scary. Look at those tusks, Beans.”
Beans: “The longer they are, the more sexually dominant the individual is.”
Doog: “I know how wieners work, Beans.”
Beans: “What! No! I’m still talking about their tusks!”
Doog: “Oh. I see. I don’t want to venture a guess on how you figured that out. I understand the gun a bit more.”
Beans: “It’s wasn’t anything like that!”
Beans: “What! No! I’m still talking about their tusks!”
Doog: “Oh. I see. I don’t want to venture a guess on how you figured that out. I understand the gun a bit more.”
Beans: “It’s wasn’t anything like that!”
Doog: “They’re approaching. It might be gun time.”
Beans: “Don’t freak out. We’re in no danger. They have food cooking.”
Doog: “What does that mean?”
Beans: “They’re not hungry. They get more aggressive when they’re hungry.”
Doog: “If they were hungry, they would eat us?”
Beans: “Possibly. In their eyes, we have small tusks so we’re viewed as lesser or weaker individuals.”
Doog: “Let’s hope they’re cooking enough then, Beans!”
Beans: “Don’t freak out. We’re in no danger. They have food cooking.”
Doog: “What does that mean?”
Beans: “They’re not hungry. They get more aggressive when they’re hungry.”
Doog: “If they were hungry, they would eat us?”
Beans: “Possibly. In their eyes, we have small tusks so we’re viewed as lesser or weaker individuals.”
Doog: “Let’s hope they’re cooking enough then, Beans!”
Beans: “Relax. I brought insurance.”
Doog: “What is that?”
Beans: “Alcohol.”
Doog: “Alcohol?! Do we want them more unstable?”
Beans: “They love the stuff, but they haven’t learned to manufacture it themselves, despite the abundance of fruits here. The LIU trades it to the locals in return for their workers’ safety.”
Doog: “One bottle for the tribe ensures safety?”
Beans: “Oh no. The LIU gives up much more than that. I brought one bottle to buy you an opportunity.”
Doog: “An opportunity?”
Beans: “Yes, safe passage inside their burial grounds.”
Doog: “What is that?”
Beans: “Alcohol.”
Doog: “Alcohol?! Do we want them more unstable?”
Beans: “They love the stuff, but they haven’t learned to manufacture it themselves, despite the abundance of fruits here. The LIU trades it to the locals in return for their workers’ safety.”
Doog: “One bottle for the tribe ensures safety?”
Beans: “Oh no. The LIU gives up much more than that. I brought one bottle to buy you an opportunity.”
Doog: “An opportunity?”
Beans: “Yes, safe passage inside their burial grounds.”
Doog: “Why would I want to see their burial grounds? I’d rather have the liquor.”
Beans: “This is a big part of their culture. Your crew said you wanted to check it out.”
Doog: “What is there to see? Bones? Speaking of which, these guys aren’t very good at burying stuff. I see skeletons everywhere. I also see a lot of children’s skeletons. Creepy.”
Beans: “Children have small tusks, so… they are often eaten when food is in short supply.”
Doog: “This is getting scarier.”
Beans: “This is a big part of their culture. Your crew said you wanted to check it out.”
Doog: “What is there to see? Bones? Speaking of which, these guys aren’t very good at burying stuff. I see skeletons everywhere. I also see a lot of children’s skeletons. Creepy.”
Beans: “Children have small tusks, so… they are often eaten when food is in short supply.”
Doog: “This is getting scarier.”
Doog: “Why are the bones visible? Shouldn’t they be in these tombs?”
Beans: “That’s the thing about their culture. They don’t bury the dead in these chambers. They spread their dead on top of them. The chambers aren’t for the dead; they are for the living.”
Doog: “For the living?”
Beans: “The Mummia believe that you can communicate with the dead within these tombs, once they are deprived of their senses in these dark, soundproof chambers.”
Doog: “That’s weird…and creepy.”
Beans: “I brought the alcohol to buy you a trip inside one of these sensory deprivation vaults.”
Doog: “I don’t want that!”
Beans: “Your crew said you do.”
Beans: “That’s the thing about their culture. They don’t bury the dead in these chambers. They spread their dead on top of them. The chambers aren’t for the dead; they are for the living.”
Doog: “For the living?”
Beans: “The Mummia believe that you can communicate with the dead within these tombs, once they are deprived of their senses in these dark, soundproof chambers.”
Doog: “That’s weird…and creepy.”
Beans: “I brought the alcohol to buy you a trip inside one of these sensory deprivation vaults.”
Doog: “I don’t want that!”
Beans: “Your crew said you do.”
Doog: “Ok. Fine. I’m in.”
Beans: “It doesn’t work with the door open. You need complete darkness and silence.”
Doog: “No, you’re wrong. I hear plenty of voices already. Get out! Get in the sun! Get that alcohol back! You ARE famous!”
Beans: “Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.”
Beans: “It doesn’t work with the door open. You need complete darkness and silence.”
Doog: “No, you’re wrong. I hear plenty of voices already. Get out! Get in the sun! Get that alcohol back! You ARE famous!”
Beans: “Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.”
Doog: “Beans! Open it back up! I don’t like this!”
Beans: “It won’t work if you keep screaming!”
Doog: “Somethings touching me! It’s either a ghost or a bug! Both are EQUALLY terrifying!”
Beans: “This planet doesn’t have bugs.”
Doog: “AHHHH!”
Beans: “It won’t work if you keep screaming!”
Doog: “Somethings touching me! It’s either a ghost or a bug! Both are EQUALLY terrifying!”
Beans: “This planet doesn’t have bugs.”
Doog: “AHHHH!”
Amaya: “This planet doesn’t have bugs?”
Beanes: “It does. Just a little payback for calling me Beans.”
Doog: “I heard that! But, I hate bugs too. So, I’m going to keep screaming!”
Seitse: “Wait until he finds out about the spiders on this planet.”
Doog: “AHHHHH! AHHH! LET ME OUT!”
Beanes: “It does. Just a little payback for calling me Beans.”
Doog: “I heard that! But, I hate bugs too. So, I’m going to keep screaming!”
Seitse: “Wait until he finds out about the spiders on this planet.”
Doog: “AHHHHH! AHHH! LET ME OUT!”
Amaya: “Doog’s a little preoccupied screaming right now, so I guess I’ll wrap up Mumia. This jungle planet has some of the best fruit in the galaxy. It’s called Mumiya, and it is so good!”
Seitse: “It’s healthy too!”
Amaya: “Yes. The fruit isn’t the full story of Mumia, though. The planet has a native race too. The natives have a unique culture that allows them to commune with the dead.”
Seitse: “Supposedly.”
Amaya: “Supposedly. Maybe Doog can confirm this after a few hours inside the sensory deprivation tomb. We’ll let you know! Bye!”
Doog: “HOURS! AHHHH!”
Note: Mumiya is a spherical, edible fruit – botanically a drupe – produced by a species of tall, flowering trees on the planet, Mumia. Check your LIUPad for more details.
Seitse: “It’s healthy too!”
Amaya: “Yes. The fruit isn’t the full story of Mumia, though. The planet has a native race too. The natives have a unique culture that allows them to commune with the dead.”
Seitse: “Supposedly.”
Amaya: “Supposedly. Maybe Doog can confirm this after a few hours inside the sensory deprivation tomb. We’ll let you know! Bye!”
Doog: “HOURS! AHHHH!”
Note: Mumiya is a spherical, edible fruit – botanically a drupe – produced by a species of tall, flowering trees on the planet, Mumia. Check your LIUPad for more details.
