Season 1 - Episode 4 - Obex

LIU Atlas - Obex

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 

                                                                 LIU Atlas - Obex

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. 


Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Note: This episode of LIU Atlas contains mature subject matter. Viewer discretion is advised.

Doog: "Welcome to another episode of TV2's newest program, LIU Atlas. I'm your host, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. This episode, we’re here on the agricultural world of Obex.  Obex is one of several thousand agricultural worlds spread across the LIU.  Unfortunately, Obex’s production numbers are not high enough to qualify for the status of LIU SuperFarm, and without that title, the planet is hardly known. I feel obligated to say that Obex’s low production numbers are not the result of infertile land or lazy workers, but are the result of small quantities of land and lack of sunlight. As you can see to my right, half the planet is covered in an ocean. Crops and other forms of agriculture can only be produced on half the planet. Also, Obex orbits with a slight tilt towards its single star, leaving the planet at the mercy of the seasons.  Crops can only be grown during the warmer spring and summer months.”

Doog: “Obex, in the ancient language, loosely translates to ‘land of many rivers’. It’s a fitting name for this planet, as it has one of the largest river systems in the entire LIU Galaxy. These rivers, like the one I’m standing over now, are used to divide sections of land and to irrigate crops.”

Doog: “Obex is currently involved in two types of agriculture: biochemical farming, seen to my left, and milk and cattle production, seen to my right. Today, we’re going to be joined with Field Supervisor Tim Buktu. I think I see him coming now."

Doog: “Hey Tim Buktu.”
Tim: “Err…Doog, that ain’t my name.”
Doog: “…(whisper) I know, but it sounds so cool. Just go with it.”
Tim: “Uh, I reckon you can call me that, Doog.”
Doog: “So what do you do here Tim Buktu?
Tim: “Well Doog, as you were just a saying, I’m the Field Supervisor for this here part of Obex. Field #357889 to be exact.”

Doog: “Hold on Tim Buktu, are those creatures with the big horns over there safe? They’re getting awfully close.”
Tim: “Huh, oh them Box Cows? I reckon they are safe.”
Doog: “You reckon they are safe? Does that mean they might be safe or they are safe?”
Tim: “You lost me Doog. I ain’t much for city talk.”
Doog: “Never mind Tim Buktu, let’s get back to work.”

Doog: “So I hear you do biochemical farming. What’s that?”
Tim: “Well Doog, the stuff we grow here ain’t for eating. We grow crops that contain certain chemicals that are too difficult to synthesize artificially. So we grow them crops that contain the chemicals naturally, and then we ship them out to factories on other planets. There, they are able to derive the chemicals from the plants.”
Doog: “Wow, I was just starting to think you were kind of stupid, but you used some pretty big words there. I’m proud!”
Tim: “Uh…thanks Doog. I guess.”

Doog: “Well, the viewers are getting tired of seeing this river. Let’s get started. What’s that pipe over there?”

Tim: “Well, Doog, it’s part of our irrigation system. We pump water out of the river and use it to water our crops.”

Tim: “The pump sends water down this pipe to the sprinklers, where it is evenly distributed to our plants.”
Doog: “What are you guys growing?”
Tim: “I ain’t sure what the plant is called, but we are growing it to process the Tetrahydrocannabinol inside.”
Doog: “THC! You mean you guys are growing a little Mary Jane?”
Tim: “No Doog, we don’t grow people, just plants.”
Doog: “No, not literally. You know...pot?”
Tim: “If by pot, you mean restroom, well, I reckon you can go behind that there barn.”

Doog: “Nevermind Tim Buktu. Why are you growing THC? I thought it was illegal in the LIU.”
Tim: “Well Doog, I surely ain’t an expert, but I hear they use it to make medicines. Treats Glaucoma or something like that.”
Doog: “Can I touch it?”
Tim: “No Doog!”
Doog: “Fine. Let’s move on.”

Tim: “As you can see Doog, the plants are cultivated by hand. Machinery is too rough and it damages too much of the crop.”

Doog: “Can I help them?”
Tim: “No Doog!”
Doog: “Sigh, continue.”

Tim: “The cultivated Tetrahydrocannabinol plants are stored in this barn and these silos until it can be shipped.”
Doog: “Can I check out the inside?”

Tim: “No Doog!”
Doog: “Come one, just five minutes. The crew and I just need to do a couple solo shots for the show.”
Tim: “Doog, I ain’t gonna say it again. NO!”
Doog: “You’re no fun. Let’s get out of here before I get tempted again. It’s time to see the your other form of agriculture.”

Tim: “Across the river from the field is one of our grazing pastures. We keep our Box Cows in fields like these.”
Doog: “Yeah, Tim Buktu, you were saying something about Box Cows earlier. What are they?”
Tim: “Box Cows are a species of ungulates in the subfamily of Bovinae.”
Doog: “In other words, they’re cows. We get that Tim Buktu. But what are they used for?”
Tim: “They’ve been genetically manipulated to do one thing, make milk. We’ve changed their bone structure to be more boxy, adding more space for milk. Although they are smaller than traditional cows, they produce 80% more milk.”

Tim: “We let the cows graze freely in these here fields until the time comes to milk them. When that time a comes, we use robots like this to herd them up.”

Doog: “Where do you herd them to?”
Tim: “Well Doog, we herds them off to the Milk Station. I reckon you want to see the station?”
Doog: “I reckon I do Tim Buktu. Whatever that means.”

Doog: “Well folks, Tim Buktu and I are now here at Milking Station #75. We’re joined by milking specialists, Farmer Jim.”
Jim: “Howdy Doog.”
Doog: “So what do you do here?”
Jim: “Straight to the point huh? I like that. Well, here, we use the SuckMaster 9000 to obtain milk from our Box Cows.”

Doog: “Hold on Jim. Did you say SuckMaster? Can I even say that on TV?”
Jim: “I reckon you can Doog. It’s just a tool.”
Doog: “I guess. So how does the Suck…, I mean, your tool, work?”
Jim: “It sucks.”
Doog: “Yeah, I was able to derive that from the name Jim. It’s a SuckMaster 9000. What do you do with it?”

Jim: “I use it to milk the cows. I approach one of the Box Cows in this here stall, place the SuckMaster 9000 on the udder, and suck up all the milk. The milk then feeds down these filtered hoses to the Filling Station. There, my lovely assistant fills empty jugs with milk.”
Doog: “Whoa, I need to interview her. See ya, Jim.”
Jim: “But Doog, I ain’t done a talking yet. Doog? Doog?”

Doog: “Hello ma’am, I’m Doog. I just wanted to stop by and talk to you about your jugs.”
Girl: “You sicko! Leave me alone!”
Doog: “What? Oh, no, not your jugs, the big jugs of milk, I mean, the large container of milk right here.”
Girl: “Whatever, you pervert!”
Doog: “Tim Buktu, I think it’s time to move on.”

Doog: “So, where are we headed now?”
Tim: “Well Doog, as you were a saying earlier, Obex’s production is too low to be classified as a SuperFarm. In order to raise production high enough, we are going to have to start utilizing the sea.”
Doog: “The sea? What do you guys plan on farming?”
Tim: “If things go right, we hope to start farming fish.”
Doog: “Why can‘t you start now?"
Tim: “Unfortunately, Doog, the pesticides and fertilizers we use to treat the fields are leaking into Obex‘s river systems. The river takes them out into the sea, where they kill off our fish populations."

Doog: “Well folks, I’m now here at a Fish Hatchery, one of several thousand  located along the coastline of Obex’s largest continent.  We’re now joined with Engineer Travis.”
Travis: “Hey Doog. Love your show.”
Doog: “Who doesn’t? I mean, thanks. Travis, what do you do here?”
Travis: “I work the hatchery.  Here, we’re growing a genetically modified fish that is able to survive in the polluted ocean of Obex. The eggs of this new species are still vulnerable, so we grow them here until they are old enough to survive the water.”

Travis: “When the fish get larger the three units, they are ready to be added into the ocean. It looks like this pool here is ready to graduate to the ocean. Want to help?”
Doog: “Not really Travis, but if I only did the things I wanted to do, we wouldn’t have this show.”
Travis: “Huh?”
Doog: “Yeah, let’s do it.”

Travis: “There they go, Doog. Say goodbye.”
Doog: “They’re fish. I’m not saying goodbye.”
Travis: “They’re my children Doog. I love them. Now say goodbye.”
Doog: “Tim Buktu, I’m getting a little freaked out. Can we go now?”

Doog: “Well folks, here on LIU Atlas, we always like to dip into a little bit of a planet’s culture. And, if there is any culture on this planet, it would be here, in the city of Venicia. Tim Buktu, tell us a little about Venicia.”
Tim: “Venicia is the largest city on Obex. I reckon about two hundred thousand people live here. The city sits in the middle of the marshy Obex River Delta. Here, most of the land is unsuitable for farming. ”

Tim: “This marshy land wasn’t really suitable for building houses neither, so the people built huge cobblestone foundations. When the foundation was set, people flocked to live here among the water.”

Tim: “The LIU hasn’t invested a lot into updating Venicia, so it still has a lot of old world charm. In fact, I reckon there would be a good amount of turmoil if the LIU ever came down here and started installing all that fancy technology. Us folks on Obex, especially the residents of Venicia, like simple things.”

Doog: “It’s a beautiful city Tim Buktu. What do you guys do here? For fun, I mean.”
Tim: “Well, there ain’t too much time for fun. When we aren’t working the fields or chasing Box Cows, we just like relaxing. Maybe enjoying some fresh fish or apples.”
Doog: “Eww. Why that combo?”
Tim: “Why not? Besides, apples are one of the few things we can grow here on the platforms. The bosses at the LIU says we can’t go a growing other stuff on the fields because it lowers our production. So, we are stuck with apples and fish.”

Tim: “There are no roads here in Venicia, so we use boats to get around. A canal system was installed between the platforms. I reckon it‘s kind of romantic. Don‘t you think Doog?”
Doog: “Please don’t talk about romance when it’s just us two in the boat, Tim Buktu. It doesn‘t look good.”
Tim: “Sorry Doog.”

Doog: “Well folks, before we finish, we have one more place to visit. Tim Buktu, take us to the Grain Tower Spaceport.”
Tim: “Doog, I reckon I can’t paddle all the way there. That’d surely take all week.”
Doog: “Shut it Tim Buktu. You’re ruining the shot. Just go along with it.”
Tim: “Doog, if you go a talking that way one more time, I reckon I might stick this oar up your…”
Doog: “Cut!”

Doog: “Well we’re here at our last destination, Grain Tower Spaceport #11. By the way, I’m sorry Tim Buktu. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Tim: “That’s alright Doog. I’m sorry I had to stick that up your…”
Doog: “Please, don’t say it. Especially after we were talking about romance a few scenes ago. It might confuse the viewers.”
Tim: “I reckon it might. Sorry Doog.”
Doog: “So, what’s a Grain Tower Spaceport?”

Tim: “The crops are collected from the farms in the area and brought here to Tower #11. The crops are then loaded onto the Grain Elevator behind me. When the crops gets to the top of the elevator, a conveyer belt pushes them into these large silos.”

Tim: “Here’s the conveyer belt.”
Doog: “That smell is unmistakable. Tower #11 is storing some of that THC. Isn’t it?”
Tim: “Now Doog. You ain’t gonna go and start this up again are you?”
Doog: “No Tim Buktu. I’m just curious.”
Tim: “Well then, yes. Yes it is.

Tim: “When a cargo ship lands, the crops are gravity fed on to this conveyer belt."

Tim: "The conveyer belt takes it up and over to the cargo ship.”

Tim: “Look. Here comes a cargo ship now.”

Doog: “What kind of cargo ship is this?”
Tim: “Well Doog, this here is the LIU Grain Cargo Transport Mark II. It’s the newest version. I hear it will even be up for sale later this week.”
Doog: “Nice plug Tim Buktu.”
Tim: “That’s what they pay us for.”

Tim: “The LIU Grain Cargo Transport Mark II has openings in its roof. The conveyer belt pours the crops into these openings. When it is full, it takes off and transports the crops to an undisclosed factory.”
Doog: “Well Tim Buktu, I guess we are finished here. Thanks for joining us here today.”
Tim: “No problem Doog. I reckon I kind of enjoyed it.”

Tim: “Hey! Wait a minute! What in tarnation is your ship doing under there?”
Doog: “Uh…well, you know. Our next stop is at that, uh… undisclosed location you were talking about. I thought we would take a load since we are heading that way. You know, the LIU likes efficiency and stuff.”
Tim: “DOOG!”

Doog: “Well folks, I have to run, literally. I hope you enjoyed this episode of LIU Atlas. As you have seen, Obex is a important part of the LIU. Join us next time, as we visit Fuscus.
 


Note: Hopefully, the next episode will be a bit shorter, and there won't be such a long time between episodes. Thanks for joining us.


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