There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Renovo
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting Renovo, an outer-rim world. Renovo is a circumbinary planet, meaning it orbits around a binary star system. Renovo is ice cold due to its lack of atmosphere and its deep orbit. We’re going to head down to the planet and see why anyone would bother living here.”
Doog: “Alright, I’ve been dropped off on a landing platform above some type of facility. There are several structures here, but none of them seem all that large. I guessing they are part of a larger facility within the cliffside.”
Dr. Samsara: “Well, hypothesized, Mr. McDoogal. These are, in fact, part of a larger whole. The majority of this station is underground, where it is protected from radiation. I’m Dr. Samsara, by the way. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Doog: “Mr. McDoogal is my father…well, allegedly. Call me Doog.”
Samsara: “Doog. Yes, that will do. Welcome to Renovo.”
Doog: “Thanks. So, quick question, is this place dangerous? I heard you mention radiation.”
Samsara: “Perfectly safe, as long as you stay in that suit.”
Doog: “Given the lack of atmosphere, I think that’s a given. Well, unless something really great tempting happens out here.”
Samsara: “What do you mean?”
Doog: “Well, you never know. What if I see a taco laying around? I might have to remove my helmet to eat it. I can’t pass up that opportunity.”
Samsara: “In that scenario, radiation wouldn’t be the problem. Violent decompression and freezing temperatures would kill you before you could eat this implausibly placed taco.”
Doog: “Perhaps, but I’d have to try. Maybe your guys shouldn’t leave anything tempting outside while I’m here. That list would include: tacos, pizza, cheeseburgers, nudie magazines…”
Samsara: “I assure you nothing on your list will be out here. Let’s move on. Please.”
Doog: “Mr. McDoogal is my father…well, allegedly. Call me Doog.”
Samsara: “Doog. Yes, that will do. Welcome to Renovo.”
Doog: “Thanks. So, quick question, is this place dangerous? I heard you mention radiation.”
Samsara: “Perfectly safe, as long as you stay in that suit.”
Doog: “Given the lack of atmosphere, I think that’s a given. Well, unless something really great tempting happens out here.”
Samsara: “What do you mean?”
Doog: “Well, you never know. What if I see a taco laying around? I might have to remove my helmet to eat it. I can’t pass up that opportunity.”
Samsara: “In that scenario, radiation wouldn’t be the problem. Violent decompression and freezing temperatures would kill you before you could eat this implausibly placed taco.”
Doog: “Perhaps, but I’d have to try. Maybe your guys shouldn’t leave anything tempting outside while I’m here. That list would include: tacos, pizza, cheeseburgers, nudie magazines…”
Samsara: “I assure you nothing on your list will be out here. Let’s move on. Please.”
Doog: “If this place is so radioactive, why are there any structures outside? Why not shove them all underground?”
Samsara: “Certain functions require access to the outside. Sub-space communications, radiation and weather monitoring, et cetera. Pods, like these, jut out from the safety of the interior structure to perform these functions.”
Doog: “Makes sense. So, what’s so radioactive here? Uranium? Radium? Plutonium?”
Samsara: “There’s nothing inherently radioactive on the planet. The radiation is from an exterior source. It arrives here in the form of cosmic rays. Renovo’s binary stars put off a ton of radiation, particularly Moksha, the system’s yellow hypergiant. With no atmosphere to filter out the cosmic rays, Renovo gets bombarded.”
Samsara: “Certain functions require access to the outside. Sub-space communications, radiation and weather monitoring, et cetera. Pods, like these, jut out from the safety of the interior structure to perform these functions.”
Doog: “Makes sense. So, what’s so radioactive here? Uranium? Radium? Plutonium?”
Samsara: “There’s nothing inherently radioactive on the planet. The radiation is from an exterior source. It arrives here in the form of cosmic rays. Renovo’s binary stars put off a ton of radiation, particularly Moksha, the system’s yellow hypergiant. With no atmosphere to filter out the cosmic rays, Renovo gets bombarded.”
Samsara: “We need to cut through the facility to reach the lower levels. While inside, I must insist that you keep your suit sealed. The industrial portions of the facility are exposed to various chemicals and irradiated dust. It’s for your safety.”
Doog: “I’ll try, although the taco scenario seems a bit more likely in here.”
Samsara: “Still highly unlikely. My employees know better than to contaminate their food.”
Doog: “I’ll try, although the taco scenario seems a bit more likely in here.”
Samsara: “Still highly unlikely. My employees know better than to contaminate their food.”
Doog: “And…we’re right back out in the radioactive wasteland.”
Samsara: “Yes. We needed to get to ground level so we can explore some of our exterior operations.”
Doog: “What kind of operations are we talking about?”
Samsara: “Yes. We needed to get to ground level so we can explore some of our exterior operations.”
Doog: “What kind of operations are we talking about?”
Samsara: “Mining operations. Renovo is abundant in organic compounds called Tholins. We extract them.”
Doog: “Organic? Like it’s alive?”
Samsara: “No, no. Organic simply means that the compounds are carbon based.”
Doog: “Ah. So, what are Tholins? I’ve never heard of anything like that.”
Samsara: “Tholins are an amalgam of organic compounds created when cosmic radiation interacts with the frozen carbon dioxide and methane on Renovo’s surface.”
Doog: “A what of compounds?”
Samsara: “Amalgam, a blend or variety of organic compounds. Tholins are not one specific substance. It varies in its composition, but always contains complex, carbon-based molecules.”
Doog: “Ah, yes. That clears it up.”
Samsara: “It’s a difficult concept to understand for a layman. Some of my non-scientific crew members have taken to calling it, ‘star tar’, if that helps.”
Doog: “Star tar it is. So, where is it?”
Doog: “Organic? Like it’s alive?”
Samsara: “No, no. Organic simply means that the compounds are carbon based.”
Doog: “Ah. So, what are Tholins? I’ve never heard of anything like that.”
Samsara: “Tholins are an amalgam of organic compounds created when cosmic radiation interacts with the frozen carbon dioxide and methane on Renovo’s surface.”
Doog: “A what of compounds?”
Samsara: “Amalgam, a blend or variety of organic compounds. Tholins are not one specific substance. It varies in its composition, but always contains complex, carbon-based molecules.”
Doog: “Ah, yes. That clears it up.”
Samsara: “It’s a difficult concept to understand for a layman. Some of my non-scientific crew members have taken to calling it, ‘star tar’, if that helps.”
Doog: “Star tar it is. So, where is it?”
Samsara: “It’s difficult to see. We harvested the surface Tholins years ago. Most of the Tholins we obtain now come from underground sources. If you could see it, though, Tholins look like a viscous, reddish-brown liquid.”
Doog: “Star tar. Like tar, but reddish. Got it.”
Samsara: “Yes. Let’s head further into the field.”
Doog: “Star tar. Like tar, but reddish. Got it.”
Samsara: “Yes. Let’s head further into the field.”
Samsara: “We’ve located several underground Tholin reservoirs within this area. Tholins are extracted by drilling and pumping the reservoirs. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with oil production, but the processes are similar.”
Doog: “I’ve done some drilling and pumping, if you know what I mean.”
Samsara: “In the oil industry?”
Doog: “Sex worker industry, mostly.”
Samsara: “Oh, I see now. You were trying to be humorous.”
Doog: “I was trying, but, apparently, I failed.”
Doog: “I’ve done some drilling and pumping, if you know what I mean.”
Samsara: “In the oil industry?”
Doog: “Sex worker industry, mostly.”
Samsara: “Oh, I see now. You were trying to be humorous.”
Doog: “I was trying, but, apparently, I failed.”
Samsara: “Tholins are transported back to the facility via pipelines.”
Doog: “I’ve laid some pipe over the years.”
Samsara: “You worked in…wait…that’s a euphemism, isn’t it? You’re full of jokes.”
Doog: “What can I say? Comedy is my thing. Wait! Is that a taco over there?!”
Samsara: “What? Where?!”
Doog: “Never mind. Just a rock. Close call though.”
Samsara: “You’re not right, are you?”
Doog: “Not entirely.”
Doog: “I’ve laid some pipe over the years.”
Samsara: “You worked in…wait…that’s a euphemism, isn’t it? You’re full of jokes.”
Doog: “What can I say? Comedy is my thing. Wait! Is that a taco over there?!”
Samsara: “What? Where?!”
Doog: “Never mind. Just a rock. Close call though.”
Samsara: “You’re not right, are you?”
Doog: “Not entirely.”
Doog: “What’s all this other stuff? Pipeline maintenance?”
Samsara: “This is a drill team actually. They must be heading out get samples from a newly discovered reservoir.”
Doog: “Do you discover new reservoirs often?”
Samsara: “Actually, we don’t. They’re rare.”
Samsara: “This is a drill team actually. They must be heading out get samples from a newly discovered reservoir.”
Doog: “Do you discover new reservoirs often?”
Samsara: “Actually, we don’t. They’re rare.”
Samsara: “Scouting Rovers utilize ground penetrating radar to locate new deposits. They don’t find many, though. Tholins are a limited resource.”
Doog: “Don’t the cosmic rays make more? I would think that Tholins are renewable.”
Samsara: “Renewable, yes, but not on an economic timescale. We are extracting Tholins much faster than they are created. Operations here will not be viable in a decade. Fortunately, Tholins are located on millions of worlds in this galaxy. Any planet or moon that has radiation, no atmosphere, and certain ices will contain Tholins.”
Doog: “I guess that’s good. We wouldn’t want to run out of star tar. Would we? What is it even used for?”
Samsara: “Great question. To answer that, we’ll need to head inside.”
Doog: “Don’t the cosmic rays make more? I would think that Tholins are renewable.”
Samsara: “Renewable, yes, but not on an economic timescale. We are extracting Tholins much faster than they are created. Operations here will not be viable in a decade. Fortunately, Tholins are located on millions of worlds in this galaxy. Any planet or moon that has radiation, no atmosphere, and certain ices will contain Tholins.”
Doog: “I guess that’s good. We wouldn’t want to run out of star tar. Would we? What is it even used for?”
Samsara: “Great question. To answer that, we’ll need to head inside.”
Doog: “This just creates more questions. Am I looking at a slug prison?”
Samsara: “No. These are slugapedes. And, they’re not in prison. These are holding pens.”
Doog: “Slugapedes?”
Samsara: “Yes. A portmanteau of slug and centipede. They look like slugs, but they have these little legs running down their bodies.”
Samsara: “No. These are slugapedes. And, they’re not in prison. These are holding pens.”
Doog: “Slugapedes?”
Samsara: “Yes. A portmanteau of slug and centipede. They look like slugs, but they have these little legs running down their bodies.”
Doog: “So, we discovered the what. What about the why? Why are there slugapedes here?”
Samsara: “Slugapedes have the unique ability to metabolize Tholins. We use them to convert Tholins into a more usable product.”
Doog: “So, let me get this right. They eat the Tholins. Their bodies convert it. And, you, presumably, get a product from slugapede poo?”
Samsara: “Not from the excrement. But, you’re close.”
Doog: “From the urine?”
Samsara: “No, not that either. Follow me.”
Samsara: “Slugapedes have the unique ability to metabolize Tholins. We use them to convert Tholins into a more usable product.”
Doog: “So, let me get this right. They eat the Tholins. Their bodies convert it. And, you, presumably, get a product from slugapede poo?”
Samsara: “Not from the excrement. But, you’re close.”
Doog: “From the urine?”
Samsara: “No, not that either. Follow me.”
Samsara: “Slugapedes originate from an icy moon called Limax. Limax is also covered in Tholins. The Slugapedes eat the Tholins, rearrange the Tholins into biological compounds, and then arrange these compounds into genetic copies of themselves. They replicate themselves using Tholins.”
Doog: “There must be billions of these replicator, slug-a-ma-jigs on Limax.”
Samsara: “Actually, there’s very few. The Tholins are not as abundant on Limax, as they are here. It takes them years to eat enough to replicate themselves.”
Doog: “There must be billions of these replicator, slug-a-ma-jigs on Limax.”
Samsara: “Actually, there’s very few. The Tholins are not as abundant on Limax, as they are here. It takes them years to eat enough to replicate themselves.”
Samsara: “Even though there are more Tholins here, we don’t have the time to let the slugapedes eat at a natural pace. We force feed Slugapedes gallons of Tholins every day.”
Doog: “Gross. You’re just pumping star tar down their gullets?”
Samsara: “Yes. They don’t seem to mind. Besides, by overfeeding them, we’ve ramped up their reproduction a thousand percent. Each slugapede gives us three eggs a day.”
Doog: “Eggs? That’s what you get?”
Doog: “Gross. You’re just pumping star tar down their gullets?”
Samsara: “Yes. They don’t seem to mind. Besides, by overfeeding them, we’ve ramped up their reproduction a thousand percent. Each slugapede gives us three eggs a day.”
Doog: “Eggs? That’s what you get?”
Samsara: “Slugapedes don’t pop out a genetic copy of themselves. They lay eggs that contain all the necessary building blocks for building a copy. If we harvest the eggs soon enough, we can extract the abiogenetic fluid.”
Doog: “The what?”
Samsara: “Abiogenetic fluid. The fluid contains all the basic building blocks of organic matter.”
Doog: “Why would you want that?”
Doog: “The what?”
Samsara: “Abiogenetic fluid. The fluid contains all the basic building blocks of organic matter.”
Doog: “Why would you want that?”
Samsara: “Because you can use the fluid to make any kind of organic matter. We can grow organs, limbs, or entire bodies. It’s not limited to humans either. They literally can make any biological matter.”
Doog: “Can you make tacos?”
Samsara: “Actually, we could, given enough time. There’s better uses though.”
Doog: “What’s better than tacos?”
Samsara: “Everything I mentioned above. Abiogenetic Fluid saves lives.”
Doog: “We got a taco hater over here. I should have known from before.”
Doog: “Can you make tacos?”
Samsara: “Actually, we could, given enough time. There’s better uses though.”
Doog: “What’s better than tacos?”
Samsara: “Everything I mentioned above. Abiogenetic Fluid saves lives.”
Doog: “We got a taco hater over here. I should have known from before.”
Doog: “Kidding aside. Why haven’t I heard of this life-saving fluid?”
Samsara: “It is quite expensive. It is sometimes cheaper to use cybernetic replacements. Also, it’s a bit slower too. Cybernetics can be installed right away, but growing new limbs takes a few weeks.”
Doog: “That’s why I’ve never heard of it. I’m poor and impatient.”
Samsara: “It may be slow and expensive, but it’s still a popular choice, especially among the elite. Why walk around looking like a cyborg when you can get the real thing? Besides that, many of the galaxy’s richest citizens use it to create younger, replacement bodies.”
Doog: “That could be useful. I don’t think my body has that many years left in it.”
Samsara: “It is quite expensive. It is sometimes cheaper to use cybernetic replacements. Also, it’s a bit slower too. Cybernetics can be installed right away, but growing new limbs takes a few weeks.”
Doog: “That’s why I’ve never heard of it. I’m poor and impatient.”
Samsara: “It may be slow and expensive, but it’s still a popular choice, especially among the elite. Why walk around looking like a cyborg when you can get the real thing? Besides that, many of the galaxy’s richest citizens use it to create younger, replacement bodies.”
Doog: “That could be useful. I don’t think my body has that many years left in it.”
Samsara: “The abiogenetic fluid is sold under the name, Resurrect. A fitting name given its properties.”
Doog: “I think it would be cooler if it had a name like star-tar. Something that rhymes, like Renew Goo or something.”
Samsara: “Renew goo sounds disgusting, if I’m being honest.”
Doog: “I think it would be cooler if it had a name like star-tar. Something that rhymes, like Renew Goo or something.”
Samsara: “Renew goo sounds disgusting, if I’m being honest.”
Doog: “So, you can just buy a bottle of this stuff and make a new body?”
Samsara: “Well, you can’t purchase it at any old supermarket. It’s usually sold to medical facilities. Even if you could get your hands on some, you don’t have the equipment to do anything with it.”
Doog: “Dang, there goes my plans for making a realistic girlfriend.”
Samsara: “You definitely don’t have the ‘equipment’ for that.”
Doog: “Ouch, doc. You hurt my soul a bit with that one, but at least I know you have a sense of humor now.”
Samsara: “Well, you can’t purchase it at any old supermarket. It’s usually sold to medical facilities. Even if you could get your hands on some, you don’t have the equipment to do anything with it.”
Doog: “Dang, there goes my plans for making a realistic girlfriend.”
Samsara: “You definitely don’t have the ‘equipment’ for that.”
Doog: “Ouch, doc. You hurt my soul a bit with that one, but at least I know you have a sense of humor now.”
Doog: “So, is that it? Are we done here?”
Samsara: “Not yet. There’s one more thing I want to show you.”
Samsara: “Not yet. There’s one more thing I want to show you.”
Doog: “What in the world is going on here? Worst fish tanks ever!”
Samsara: “They’re not aquariums. They’re Phoenix Chambers, where we grow biological materials.”
Doog: “Ah, that makes much more sense.”
Samsara: “We ship most of the Resurrect off-world, but we do keep some here for experimental purposes.”
Doog: “Experimental? I thought this is sound science?”
Samsara: “It is sound science, but we’re pushing the bounds. Using information obtained from the Emeritus Cloning Project, we’re growing enhanced lifeforms. We’re building lifeforms that never existed. We are pushing…”
Doog: “I’ve been to Emeritus. You’re making enhanced Super-Soldiers, aren’t you?”
Samsara: “I can’t answer that. We’re doing stuff though. Amazing stuff.”
Doog: “Yeah, ok. Anything else?”
Samsara: “No, that’s it.”
Samsara: “They’re not aquariums. They’re Phoenix Chambers, where we grow biological materials.”
Doog: “Ah, that makes much more sense.”
Samsara: “We ship most of the Resurrect off-world, but we do keep some here for experimental purposes.”
Doog: “Experimental? I thought this is sound science?”
Samsara: “It is sound science, but we’re pushing the bounds. Using information obtained from the Emeritus Cloning Project, we’re growing enhanced lifeforms. We’re building lifeforms that never existed. We are pushing…”
Doog: “I’ve been to Emeritus. You’re making enhanced Super-Soldiers, aren’t you?”
Samsara: “I can’t answer that. We’re doing stuff though. Amazing stuff.”
Doog: “Yeah, ok. Anything else?”
Samsara: “No, that’s it.”
Doog: “Well folks, Renovo is a strange place. The interaction between cosmic radiation and Renovo’s various ices has created a substance called Tholins, also known as star tar. This tar is collected and force-fed to imported, slug-like creatures. Yeah, I know. It’s weird. The stuffed slugs lay eggs that have some type of fluid inside that can make body parts. You can’t make this stuff up. I think that’s the gist of it. Oh well, see ya!”
Note: Favorite Puns of the Phoenix Chamber Facility:
#1 “Can you give me a hand over here…”
#2 “He’s got a leg up on you…”
Note: Favorite Puns of the Phoenix Chamber Facility:
#1 “Can you give me a hand over here…”
#2 “He’s got a leg up on you…”
