Season 10 - Episode 7.5 - Collum

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Collum

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.


Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to a special edition episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re going to check out the moon, Collum. Like our previous special edition episodes, we’re going to be checking out Collum’s culture, instead of its economy.”

Doog: “Alright, I’ve been dropped off in the moon’s largest city, Vratu. Vratu is a massive city with a population in excess of fifty million people. The city is also large in size, covering nearly a tenth of the moon’s surface.”

Doog: “We’re in the heart of Vratu’s market district. It’s one of the largest open-air markets outside of the planet Mercor. There’s stuff for sale everywhere.”

Doog: “Things are even busy above me. There’s a rail system passing through this section of the city. It looks to be carrying cargo, not passengers. That makes sense. Collum is a commerce world. It sits at the convergence of several outlying hyperspace routes. Tons of Outer-Rim cargo comes here to be shipped to the rest of the galaxy. This convergence of hyperspace routes is called ‘the Neck’.”

Doog: “Enough about that, though. We’re here to talk culture, not economy. Collum is known for its shopping and restaurants, but we’re not here for that either. We’re here for something special, a spectacle only found on Collum. We just have to find our way there. Ah, I see a sign for Market Street. That’s a good start.”

Doog: “Ooh, look. You can rent lofts for forty credits. If that’s per decade, I might be able to afford that.”

Doog: “I can’t read Presciant, so I’m not positive I’m going the right way. But, if the smell is any indication, I think we need to head down here.”

Doog: “Yep. This is it. This is Collum’s under-market. Now, you might think an under-market sells some shady stuff, but don’t let the name fool you. It just means that’s it’s an underground market. Trust me, I was disappointed too.”

Doog: “The under-market specializes in selling animals. That’s why it’s down here. It helps keep the smell down.”

Doog: “You can buy almost any animal imaginable down here. I’m not sure why, though. I guess for food or something. Maybe some are exotic pets or work animals. Who knows? That’s not why we’re here, so I’m not too worried about it. Oh, dear Emperor! This heathen is selling spiders! Time to go!”

Doog: “LIU Arena. This is it. Let’s head inside.”

Doog: “Collum’s large animal market has its fair share of problems. Animals get loose. Some of these animals are dangerous. To protect the public, the under-market hired special enforcers to kill escaped creatures. Through the years, certain enforcers grew quite the reputation. People actually came to the under-market just to see these guys and girls in action. It eventually became so popular, that the LIU built an arena, where these enforcers could showcase their skills. These enforcers became matadors.”

Doog: “The matadors’ methods have changed over the years. They can only use melee weapons now. Projectiles were deemed too dangerous for the spectators. For extra showmanship, the matadors wear elaborate costumes and use props, like flags. They fight a variety of dangerous creatures, some that are truly terrifying. I’ve heard that the animal fights on Collum are a sight to behold. I guess we’ll see. I’m going to turn the show over to the fight announcers for now. See you in a bit.” 

Announcer: “Ladies, gentlemen, and asexual beings, welcome to LIU Arena, home to the galaxy-famous Matador Showcase. May I present today’s enforcer, MATADOR THANEEEE!”
Crowd: Cheer!
Announcer #2: “Matador Thane is an impressive 14-0 after last weeks slaughter of a Vermis Worm.”
Crowd: Cheer!

Announcer: “It won’t be that easy this week. Matador Thane will be facing a Horned Yeti.”
Crowd: Gasp!
Announcer #2: “This bulky beast has sharp teeth, claws, and horns.”
Announcer: “Thane will want to keep his distance, that’s for sure. Speed will be his ally.”

Announcer #2: “Speaking of speed, Thane is wasting no time. He’s charging straight in there for the kill.”
Announcer: “I hope he takes that Yeti’s reach into consideration.”

Announcer #2: “I’m thinking he didn’t.”
Announcer: “Indeed. The Yeti has grabbed ahold of Thane. Ew…that’s not pretty.”
Announcer #2: “Thane is being continuously slammed against the ground. His ragdoll of a body has dropped his spear. I think this fight is over.”
Announcer: “Matador Thane ends his career…and possibly his life… with a record of 14-1.”
Crowd: Silent…silent…silent…silent…CHEERS

Doog: “Well folks, that fight didn’t end exactly how I envisioned it. But, judging by the crowd’s reaction, these people were still entertained. Who isn’t entertained by gratuitous violence? Thane, probably. But, other than that. Well, it wasn’t pretty, but we got to learn a bit about galactic culture. See ya!”


​Note:
 
Announcer: “Matadors Leia and Timmy fight an Ogalu this Sunday. There’s sure to be bloodshed regardless of the outcome. Come back and see us then!”

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