There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Dualis
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re checking out the circumbinary planet, Dualis. Dualis orbits two stars, Iphis and Ianthe. Depending on its location within this orbit, Dualis experiences different seasons. When Iphis is the dominate – or closer – star, Dualis experiences mild weather, but when Ianthe is the dominate star, Dualis experiences much harsher weather and more intense UV radiation. I’m told these varying solar seasons impact life on Dualis, including the sentient race that has emerged here. The only way to find out, for sure, is to land our ship and check it out. Let’s go.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off on a small landing platform on Dualis’ surface. I can see both of Dualis’ stars in the sky, but Iphis is clearly closer. That’s good for us. We’re here during Dualis’ mild season. Other than that, there’s not much else to talk about. There’s no major structures or signs of advanced life.”
Doog: “There IS this creepy impaled robot-thing. What are you supposed to be? Some type of mechanical scarecrow?”
DAK: “Introduction: I am DAK, a Diction Assistance Kiosk.”
Doog: “Holy Emperor! You’re alive. You scared the crap out of me you stupid robot! What were you doing up there?”
DAK: “Statement: I was utilizing conduction charging while in standby mode. Note: This is standard procedure while offline.”
Doog: “Yeah, ok. I guess. Just, give a guy a little warning next time. Geesh.”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request when I return to standby mode.”
Doog: “Holy Emperor! You’re alive. You scared the crap out of me you stupid robot! What were you doing up there?”
DAK: “Statement: I was utilizing conduction charging while in standby mode. Note: This is standard procedure while offline.”
Doog: “Yeah, ok. I guess. Just, give a guy a little warning next time. Geesh.”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request when I return to standby mode.”
DAK: “Analysis: You are a human male with video and audio recording equipment. Conclusion: You are Terrance McDoogal. Secondary Appellation: Doog.”
Doog: “Uh, if you’re asking my name…then, yes, I am Doog.”
DAK: “Identity Confirmed. Inquiry: Are you ready to commence planetary tour?”
Doog: “Yeah, definitely. If you could point me to my guide, that’d be great. Then you can go back to hanging out on that pole.”
DAK: “Refutation: I am your guide.”
Doog: “Oh no, I’m not touring this planet with a metal scarecrow that talks funny.”
DAK: “Inquiry: Do you speak Dualigent, the natives’ language?”
Doog: “No.”
DAK: “Statement: I am the only entity on this planet that is capable of communicating with you. Conclusion: I am the only suitable guide on Dualis.”
Doog: “Sigh. I guess I have no choice.”
Doog: “Uh, if you’re asking my name…then, yes, I am Doog.”
DAK: “Identity Confirmed. Inquiry: Are you ready to commence planetary tour?”
Doog: “Yeah, definitely. If you could point me to my guide, that’d be great. Then you can go back to hanging out on that pole.”
DAK: “Refutation: I am your guide.”
Doog: “Oh no, I’m not touring this planet with a metal scarecrow that talks funny.”
DAK: “Inquiry: Do you speak Dualigent, the natives’ language?”
Doog: “No.”
DAK: “Statement: I am the only entity on this planet that is capable of communicating with you. Conclusion: I am the only suitable guide on Dualis.”
Doog: “Sigh. I guess I have no choice.”
Doog: “So, there’s no other sentients here, other than the natives? No humans? Or Tressans? Or anything?”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Correct.”
Doog: “What about you. Why are you here?”
DAK: “Recapitulation: I am DAK, a Diction Assistance Kiosk.”
Doog: “Yeah, you already said that. Do you have a limited number of phrases or something?”
DAK: “Clarification: My purpose is defined in my name. I am here to assist with dictation.”
Doog: “I’m still not sure I get it.”
DAK: “Simplification: I am a translation tool. Note: I can speak Basic and Dualigent.”
Doog: “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request when I return to standby mode.”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Correct.”
Doog: “What about you. Why are you here?”
DAK: “Recapitulation: I am DAK, a Diction Assistance Kiosk.”
Doog: “Yeah, you already said that. Do you have a limited number of phrases or something?”
DAK: “Clarification: My purpose is defined in my name. I am here to assist with dictation.”
Doog: “I’m still not sure I get it.”
DAK: “Simplification: I am a translation tool. Note: I can speak Basic and Dualigent.”
Doog: “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request when I return to standby mode.”
DAK: “Inquiry: Do you wish to learn about Dualis’ vegetation?”
Doog: “Uh, sure. Why not?”
DAK: “Statement: Dualis’ vegetation consists of one organism. Appellation: The organism is called Shros. Factual Declaration: Shros is a non-vascular, flowerless Bryophyte containing simple cellular leaves and tall reproductive stalks called sporophytes.”
Doog: “Do that simplify thing again because I have no idea what you’re saying.”
DAK: “Simplification: Shros is a moss.”
Doog: “That’s better. So, there’s only moss on Dualis?”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Yes.”
Doog: “Why is that?”
Doog: “Uh, sure. Why not?”
DAK: “Statement: Dualis’ vegetation consists of one organism. Appellation: The organism is called Shros. Factual Declaration: Shros is a non-vascular, flowerless Bryophyte containing simple cellular leaves and tall reproductive stalks called sporophytes.”
Doog: “Do that simplify thing again because I have no idea what you’re saying.”
DAK: “Simplification: Shros is a moss.”
Doog: “That’s better. So, there’s only moss on Dualis?”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Yes.”
Doog: “Why is that?”
DAK: “Theorization: More advanced plants cannot survive the Ianthe season.”
Doog: “That’s right. I forgot about the whole two stars and different sun seasons.”
DAK: “Statement: Increases in ultraviolet radiation during the Ianthe season actually kills off large portions of the Shros population. Approximately seventy percent of the Shros undergoes cellular sterilization. Simplification: Shros is harmed by UV radiation.”
Doog: “Yeah, no need to simplify that one. I know what sterilization means – not that I’ve had that problem or anything – plenty of alleged kids here – everything works. While we’re on this subject, though, am I safe here? Will this UV harm me?”
DAK: “Reassurance: Ianthe season is twenty weeks away. Your minimal exposure will not result in any harm.”
Doog: “Phew. Good.”
Doog: “That’s right. I forgot about the whole two stars and different sun seasons.”
DAK: “Statement: Increases in ultraviolet radiation during the Ianthe season actually kills off large portions of the Shros population. Approximately seventy percent of the Shros undergoes cellular sterilization. Simplification: Shros is harmed by UV radiation.”
Doog: “Yeah, no need to simplify that one. I know what sterilization means – not that I’ve had that problem or anything – plenty of alleged kids here – everything works. While we’re on this subject, though, am I safe here? Will this UV harm me?”
DAK: “Reassurance: Ianthe season is twenty weeks away. Your minimal exposure will not result in any harm.”
Doog: “Phew. Good.”
DAK: “Announcement: We have arrived in a settlement. Statement: Dualis’ sentient race lives in previously identified settlement. Appellation: The native race is known as the Dualog.”
Doog: “They look…primitive.”
DAK: “Statement: The Dualog do not purposely manufacture any advanced metals or materials. Observation: The Dualog utilize stone tools and stone buildings. Summation: The Dualog are a stone-age civilization. Assertion: The Dualog are primitive compared to galactic standard.”
Doog: “That’s a long way to say that you agree.”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request when I return…”
Doog: “Don’t waste your time.”
Doog: “They look…primitive.”
DAK: “Statement: The Dualog do not purposely manufacture any advanced metals or materials. Observation: The Dualog utilize stone tools and stone buildings. Summation: The Dualog are a stone-age civilization. Assertion: The Dualog are primitive compared to galactic standard.”
Doog: “That’s a long way to say that you agree.”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request when I return…”
Doog: “Don’t waste your time.”
Doog: “So, you can speak their language?”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Yes.”
Doog: “If the LIU programmed you to speak with the locals, then they must be good for something, right?”
DAK: “Declaration: The LIU trades with the locals. Statement: I am a tool for facilitating trade.”
Doog: “Do the locals get anything? Why do they live so primitively if they’re trading with the LIU?”
DAK: “Evasion: I am not permitted to discuss trade arrangements.”
Doog: “You know, it’s not really dodging my question if you identify it as an evasion while you speak.”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request…”
Doog: “Again, that’s not necessary.”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Yes.”
Doog: “If the LIU programmed you to speak with the locals, then they must be good for something, right?”
DAK: “Declaration: The LIU trades with the locals. Statement: I am a tool for facilitating trade.”
Doog: “Do the locals get anything? Why do they live so primitively if they’re trading with the LIU?”
DAK: “Evasion: I am not permitted to discuss trade arrangements.”
Doog: “You know, it’s not really dodging my question if you identify it as an evasion while you speak.”
DAK: “Request saved: I will transmit your reprogramming request…”
Doog: “Again, that’s not necessary.”
Doog: “What does the LIU get from these guys? Moss?”
DAK: “Refutation: No. Statement: Shros is used as both a foodstuff and building material. Summation: Neither are of interest to the LIU.”
Doog: “This moss is both breakfast and a rooftile, and the LIU wants nothing to do with it?”
DAK: “Explanation: Shros is an inefficient building material. Acknowledgment: Shros does block UV radiation. Counter: Shros is not water resistant. Counter: Shros is inefficient thermo-insulator. Summation: While Shros is useful to the natives, it is not comparable to more advanced building material utilized by the LIU.”
DAK: “Refutation: No. Statement: Shros is used as both a foodstuff and building material. Summation: Neither are of interest to the LIU.”
Doog: “This moss is both breakfast and a rooftile, and the LIU wants nothing to do with it?”
DAK: “Explanation: Shros is an inefficient building material. Acknowledgment: Shros does block UV radiation. Counter: Shros is not water resistant. Counter: Shros is inefficient thermo-insulator. Summation: While Shros is useful to the natives, it is not comparable to more advanced building material utilized by the LIU.”
Doog: “What about its use as a food?”
DAK: “Vociferate: Shros is inefficient nutrient source as compared to cheaper, more-easily collected alternatives. Note: Shros not identified as tasty.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
DAK: “Statement: The Dualog show early signs of civilization advancement. Explanation: The Dualog have begun to farm Shros. Note: Sharpened stone tools are used to cut and relocate Shros.”
Doog: “That’s good for the Dualog, but I’m still trying to figure out why you’re here.”
DAK: “Process: Computing. Recapitulation: I am DAK, a Diction Assistance Kiosk.”
Doog: “I know. I know. You’re a translation tool. But, why did the LIU send a translation tool to Dualis? What’s useful to the LIU on Dualis?”
DAK: “Vociferate: Shros is inefficient nutrient source as compared to cheaper, more-easily collected alternatives. Note: Shros not identified as tasty.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
DAK: “Statement: The Dualog show early signs of civilization advancement. Explanation: The Dualog have begun to farm Shros. Note: Sharpened stone tools are used to cut and relocate Shros.”
Doog: “That’s good for the Dualog, but I’m still trying to figure out why you’re here.”
DAK: “Process: Computing. Recapitulation: I am DAK, a Diction Assistance Kiosk.”
Doog: “I know. I know. You’re a translation tool. But, why did the LIU send a translation tool to Dualis? What’s useful to the LIU on Dualis?”
DAK: “Comparison: Like the Shros, the Dualog are subject to the planet’s solar seasons. Statement: The Dualog have developed many strategies to combat UV radiation. List: The Dualog possess skin hoods to protect their brain and eyes from UV exposure. List: The Dualog have thick, reflective skin. List: The Dualog utilize simple tools to build stone homes that are UV resistant. List: The Dualog undergo a two-stage life cycle – nymph and adult.”
Doog: “Huh? What was that last one?”
DAK: “Statement: The Dualog youth are born in underground chambers where they are protected from UV radiation. Note: In this youthful nymph stage, the Dualog are mostly aquatic. Analysis: The nymphs undergo metamorphosis inside cocoons to become adults. Note: Only adults live on the surface.”
Doog: “Are you saying there are Dualog babies down there? Can we see them?”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Yes. Warning: Entering the cavern from this height will be deadly. Exclamation: The cavern is thirty meters deep. Request: Follow me to alternative entrance.”
Doog: “Ok.”
Doog: “Huh? What was that last one?”
DAK: “Statement: The Dualog youth are born in underground chambers where they are protected from UV radiation. Note: In this youthful nymph stage, the Dualog are mostly aquatic. Analysis: The nymphs undergo metamorphosis inside cocoons to become adults. Note: Only adults live on the surface.”
Doog: “Are you saying there are Dualog babies down there? Can we see them?”
DAK: “Affirmative Reply: Yes. Warning: Entering the cavern from this height will be deadly. Exclamation: The cavern is thirty meters deep. Request: Follow me to alternative entrance.”
Doog: “Ok.”
DAK: “Assertion: Dualog nymphs are present in this pool.”
Doog: “Yeah, I see them. They are sort of creepy. They don’t look much like the adults.”
DAK: “Concurrence: Nymphs and adults are not similar.”
Doog: “Yeah, I see them. They are sort of creepy. They don’t look much like the adults.”
DAK: “Concurrence: Nymphs and adults are not similar.”
DAK: “Assessment: Dualog nymphs are unable to care for themselves. Note: Pools do not contain many useful nutrients. Conclusion: Dualog adults care for nymphs by dropping Shros into the pools.”
DAK: “Factual declaration: Pools do contain numerous minerals. Statement: Dualog nymphs collect previously mentioned minerals. Result: Nymphs are able to construct hardened metallic cocoons that are highly resistant to UV radiation.”
Doog: “The babies make metal cocoons? Wow.”
DAK: “Statement: The organometallic cocoons contain beneficial materials. Notation: Cocoons are useful to the LIU.”
Doog: “The LIU comes here for the cocoons? What are they made of?”
DAK: “Tergiversate: We can witness a birth. Follow me.”
Doog: “The babies make metal cocoons? Wow.”
DAK: “Statement: The organometallic cocoons contain beneficial materials. Notation: Cocoons are useful to the LIU.”
Doog: “The LIU comes here for the cocoons? What are they made of?”
DAK: “Tergiversate: We can witness a birth. Follow me.”
Doog: “Oh, that is gross. The smell, the mucus, the slime – it all reminds me of my ex-girlfriend.”
DAK: “Error: Unknown statement.”
Doog: “Simplification – my ex is really gross.”
DAK: “Neutral reply: Ok.”
Doog: “I want to press you more on the make-up of these cocoons, but I also want to get away from this wriggling, putrid afterbirth.”
DAK: “Conclusion: Let’s leave the nymph caverns.”
DAK: “Error: Unknown statement.”
Doog: “Simplification – my ex is really gross.”
DAK: “Neutral reply: Ok.”
Doog: “I want to press you more on the make-up of these cocoons, but I also want to get away from this wriggling, putrid afterbirth.”
DAK: “Conclusion: Let’s leave the nymph caverns.”
DAK: “Statement: In addition to my translation duties, I am tasked with collecting and storing metallic remnants of Dualog cocoons.”
Doog: “What metal makes these cocoons so useful to the LIU?”
DAK: “Prevarication: The Dualog only reproduce during the safer Iphis solar season. Inference: Cocoons are only produced every thirty-seven months. Summation: It is not efficient for LIU to staff Dualis fulltime. Addendum: The LIU only collects organometals every three years.”
Doog: “That didn’t answer my question.”
DAK: “Tergiversate: That concludes planetary tour.”
Doog: “Why can’t you tell me what makes these cocoons so useful?”
DAK: “Statement: Organometal is valuable. Factual Declaration: The LIU is not actively present on Dualis. Statement: Stockpiles of valuable materials are not well protected. Theorization: To protect said assets, I have been programmed to avoid discussing said assets.”
Doog: “Uh, ok. If you say so.”
Doog: “What metal makes these cocoons so useful to the LIU?”
DAK: “Prevarication: The Dualog only reproduce during the safer Iphis solar season. Inference: Cocoons are only produced every thirty-seven months. Summation: It is not efficient for LIU to staff Dualis fulltime. Addendum: The LIU only collects organometals every three years.”
Doog: “That didn’t answer my question.”
DAK: “Tergiversate: That concludes planetary tour.”
Doog: “Why can’t you tell me what makes these cocoons so useful?”
DAK: “Statement: Organometal is valuable. Factual Declaration: The LIU is not actively present on Dualis. Statement: Stockpiles of valuable materials are not well protected. Theorization: To protect said assets, I have been programmed to avoid discussing said assets.”
Doog: “Uh, ok. If you say so.”
Doog: “Well folks – summation – I hate the way this robot talks. Statement – it is super annoying. But I guess we did learn a bit about this planet. Dualis orbits two stars and its proximity to either changes the amount of radiation striking the planet. The life here – from simple moss to the sentient Dualog – evolved to deal with these changing solar patterns. The locals are of particular interest to the LIU. They undergo a metamorphosis from nymph to adult as a way to avoid the UV solar seasons. To do this, they make these cool metal cocoons. Their reproduction cycles are tied to the solar seasons, so they don’t make these cocoons often. In fact, they are made so infrequently, the LIU doesn’t bother to staff the planet fulltime. They just left this weird-talking, scarecrow-looking robot-guy here to take care of business. Oh well, see ya!”
Note: The LIU collects approximately 5,000 metric tons of Dualog cocoons every three years. The shiny, lustrous organometals are mostly used in jewelry and decorative pieces. They are valued due to their rarity.
Note: The LIU collects approximately 5,000 metric tons of Dualog cocoons every three years. The shiny, lustrous organometals are mostly used in jewelry and decorative pieces. They are valued due to their rarity.
