There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Halavi
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting an extremely important planet called Halavi. Halavi is an industrial agriculture world, meaning that it grows crops for industrial purposes. Whatever this purpose is, it must be very important. I’m not allowed to land directly on Halavi.”
Doog: “Instead, I’ve been dropped off on a quarantine station in orbit around the planet. I must stay here until I’m deemed 100% aseptic. I can’t have any traces of bacteria, viruses, or parasites. Hopefully, this won’t take long.”
Two Months Later…
Two Months Later…
Doog: “Well folks, that lasted a little longer than expected. Apparently, I had quite a few…uh… venereal diseases. I’ve literally been trapped on this station for almost two months. Finally, I’ve been given permission to land on Halavi. Let’s go.”
Doog: “Alright, I’m finally been dropped off on the surface of Halavi. It’s temperate, breezy, and sunny. There’s a nice aroma in the air, presumably from the planet’s plant life. Are these plants Halavi’s industrial export? Maybe. Let’s not speculate. I see my guide coming now. Oh great, he’s a Fornacin. That’s always a good time.”
Klopka: “Human male, I am Klopka. I have been tasked with showing you the LIU’s operation on Halavi.”
Doog: “Sounds good. My name’s Doog, if you were wondering.”
Klopka: “I was not.”
Doog: “Ok then. I should have known. So, what can you tell me about this place?”
Klopka: “Halavi’s export is breathable air.”
Doog: “So, in other words, oxygen?”
Klopka: “Breathable air is not pure oxygen, you dolt. Standard atmosphere only has about 20% oxygen.”
Doog: “You learn something new every day. So, what’s the other eighty percent made up of?”
Klopka: “Mostly nitrogen, but trace amounts of argon and carbon dioxide.”
Doog: “Got it. How do the plants figure in?”
Klopka: “They are able to convert chemicals in the air and soil into breathable air. And, once again, I don’t mean oxygen. I mean breathable standard atmosphere.”
Doog: “Got it. And you export breathable atmosphere?”
Klopka: “Yes.”
Doog: “Sounds good. My name’s Doog, if you were wondering.”
Klopka: “I was not.”
Doog: “Ok then. I should have known. So, what can you tell me about this place?”
Klopka: “Halavi’s export is breathable air.”
Doog: “So, in other words, oxygen?”
Klopka: “Breathable air is not pure oxygen, you dolt. Standard atmosphere only has about 20% oxygen.”
Doog: “You learn something new every day. So, what’s the other eighty percent made up of?”
Klopka: “Mostly nitrogen, but trace amounts of argon and carbon dioxide.”
Doog: “Got it. How do the plants figure in?”
Klopka: “They are able to convert chemicals in the air and soil into breathable air. And, once again, I don’t mean oxygen. I mean breathable standard atmosphere.”
Doog: “Got it. And you export breathable atmosphere?”
Klopka: “Yes.”
BOOM…CRACKLE
Doog: “Holy Kaadu! What was that?!”
Klopka: “Oxygen fixation. The machine uses powerful bursts of electricity to remove excess oxygen from the air. Bonds it into nitrogen dioxide.”
Doog: “Geez, a heads up would have been appreciated. Good thing I wore my brown pants!”
Klopka: “Sorry, next time we’ll allow the oxygen to skyrocket out of control for your comfort. It might make the whole sky burn and kill us all, but at least you’ll be in your safe space.”
Doog: “Hey! I’m no snowflake – I just don’t like surprise explosions of electricity behind my head.”
Doog: “Holy Kaadu! What was that?!”
Klopka: “Oxygen fixation. The machine uses powerful bursts of electricity to remove excess oxygen from the air. Bonds it into nitrogen dioxide.”
Doog: “Geez, a heads up would have been appreciated. Good thing I wore my brown pants!”
Klopka: “Sorry, next time we’ll allow the oxygen to skyrocket out of control for your comfort. It might make the whole sky burn and kill us all, but at least you’ll be in your safe space.”
Doog: “Hey! I’m no snowflake – I just don’t like surprise explosions of electricity behind my head.”
Doog: “Why remove oxygen? I thought you were making breathable air?”
Klopka: “For the LAST time, breathable air does not equal OXYGEN! Oxygen only makes up a small portion of standard atmosphere! We must retain the ratio – 80/20.”
Doog: “Oh yeah, I forgot about that part already. That ear-shattering bolt of lightning sort of blanked my mind. So, how does this very loud lightning machine work?”
Klopka: “When the sensors detect excess oxygen levels, they fire of bursts of energy – you know, the ones you’ve been whining about. The bursts fuse oxygen and nitrogen in the air into nitrogen dioxide.”
Doog: “Dioxide means two, right? So that means you remove two atoms of oxygen, but only one atom of nitrogen.”
Klopka: “Which lowers the oxygen in relation to the nitrogen, restoring the ideal ratio.”
Doog: “Got it. How often does this thing fire off?”
Klopka: “It depends. It could be once a day; it could be three times a minute.”
Doog: “Uh, maybe we should get moving.”
Klopka: “For the LAST time, breathable air does not equal OXYGEN! Oxygen only makes up a small portion of standard atmosphere! We must retain the ratio – 80/20.”
Doog: “Oh yeah, I forgot about that part already. That ear-shattering bolt of lightning sort of blanked my mind. So, how does this very loud lightning machine work?”
Klopka: “When the sensors detect excess oxygen levels, they fire of bursts of energy – you know, the ones you’ve been whining about. The bursts fuse oxygen and nitrogen in the air into nitrogen dioxide.”
Doog: “Dioxide means two, right? So that means you remove two atoms of oxygen, but only one atom of nitrogen.”
Klopka: “Which lowers the oxygen in relation to the nitrogen, restoring the ideal ratio.”
Doog: “Got it. How often does this thing fire off?”
Klopka: “It depends. It could be once a day; it could be three times a minute.”
Doog: “Uh, maybe we should get moving.”
Doog: “How do these plants figure in? I don’t think we ever discussed that.”
Klopka: “The flora species of Halavi are efficient atmosphere scrubbers. Obviously, like most plant-species, they can convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, but these unique species can also convert other oxides into oxygen – like carbon monoxide and sulfur dioxide. They also have another useful ability – denitrification.”
Doog: “De-what?”
Klopka: Denitrification. They can convert nitrogen compounds stored in the soil into atmospheric nitrogen.”
Doog: “So, these plants are like perfect breathable-air factories.”
Klopka: “Yes. That is why Halavi is a sanctuary world. The flora here is precious.”
Doog: “That explains the quarantine station.”
Klopka: “Yes. The flora here must remain pristine. We can’t risk pests or disease.”
Klopka: “The flora species of Halavi are efficient atmosphere scrubbers. Obviously, like most plant-species, they can convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, but these unique species can also convert other oxides into oxygen – like carbon monoxide and sulfur dioxide. They also have another useful ability – denitrification.”
Doog: “De-what?”
Klopka: Denitrification. They can convert nitrogen compounds stored in the soil into atmospheric nitrogen.”
Doog: “So, these plants are like perfect breathable-air factories.”
Klopka: “Yes. That is why Halavi is a sanctuary world. The flora here is precious.”
Doog: “That explains the quarantine station.”
Klopka: “Yes. The flora here must remain pristine. We can’t risk pests or disease.”
Doog: “You say pristine, yet we’re being passed by exhaust-spewing tanker trucks.”
Klopka: “Vehicle exhaust is mostly oxides. It’s easily converted back into oxygen by these plants.”
Doog: “Makes sense. Why are there trucks driving through here though?”
Klopka: “The native range of these plants was quite small. To make their ability useful on the industrial scale, we’ve artificially increased their range. That means trucking in water, soil, and nutrients.”
Klopka: “Vehicle exhaust is mostly oxides. It’s easily converted back into oxygen by these plants.”
Doog: “Makes sense. Why are there trucks driving through here though?”
Klopka: “The native range of these plants was quite small. To make their ability useful on the industrial scale, we’ve artificially increased their range. That means trucking in water, soil, and nutrients.”
Doog: “Tell me this isn’t another – bigger – lightning machine.”
Klopka: “Don’t worry, Sally. You have nothing to be afraid of.”
Doog: “I’m not afraid, I just don’t think my pants can handle another load.”
Klopka: “Disgusting.”
Doog: “I kid, I kid. But seriously, what is this place?”
Klopka: “It’s a waste gas release station.”
Doog: “Waste gas release? Like, you’re releasing unbreathable air?”
Klopka: “Yes.”
Doog: “Why? I thought the plants are going through all this trouble to make the gas breathable.”
Klopka: “Don’t worry, Sally. You have nothing to be afraid of.”
Doog: “I’m not afraid, I just don’t think my pants can handle another load.”
Klopka: “Disgusting.”
Doog: “I kid, I kid. But seriously, what is this place?”
Klopka: “It’s a waste gas release station.”
Doog: “Waste gas release? Like, you’re releasing unbreathable air?”
Klopka: “Yes.”
Doog: “Why? I thought the plants are going through all this trouble to make the gas breathable.”
Klopka: “Like I mentioned earlier, we export breathable air. In order to maintain a proper atmosphere, we need to replace the air we’re shipping out. That means importing waste air from other worlds and tapping into underground pockets of gas on this planet.”
Doog: “So, this waste gas is stuff that can be filtered and converted by the plants here.”
Klopka: “Yes. It’s mostly carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide. It’s released in a controlled manner with stations like this.”
Doog: “Controlled manner?”
Klopka: “We don’t want to displace the natural atmosphere by releasing it all at once. It is slowly diffused into the atmosphere as determined by atmospheric pressure sensors.”
Doog: “The waste gases are released from here?”
Doog: “So, this waste gas is stuff that can be filtered and converted by the plants here.”
Klopka: “Yes. It’s mostly carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide. It’s released in a controlled manner with stations like this.”
Doog: “Controlled manner?”
Klopka: “We don’t want to displace the natural atmosphere by releasing it all at once. It is slowly diffused into the atmosphere as determined by atmospheric pressure sensors.”
Doog: “The waste gases are released from here?”
Klopka: “No, moron. We can’t release it all in one spot. It’s diffused through pipelines like the one behind us.”
Doog: “I’m diffusing some waste gas of my own as we walk. Better stay upwind.”
Klopka: “I hope you’re kidding human male. Methane doesn’t fit into our atmospheric cycle.”
Doog: “People aren’t allowed to fart here? No wonder you’re so cranky.”
Klopka: “Grrr, idiot. I’m not even responding to that.”
Doog: “I’m diffusing some waste gas of my own as we walk. Better stay upwind.”
Klopka: “I hope you’re kidding human male. Methane doesn’t fit into our atmospheric cycle.”
Doog: “People aren’t allowed to fart here? No wonder you’re so cranky.”
Klopka: “Grrr, idiot. I’m not even responding to that.”
Doog: “Where are we going now? This looks like a warehouse.”
Klopka: “It’s a train station.”
Doog: “A train station? Why are we going here?”
Klopka: “Why would we be going to a train station, hmm? Perhaps to catch an airplane. No, that can’t be right. That would be called an airport. Hmm, what a mystery!”
Doog: “I like mysteries.”
Klopka: “It’s NOT a mystery! Idiot! I was being ironic. We’re obviously here to catch a TRAIN!”
Klopka: “It’s a train station.”
Doog: “A train station? Why are we going here?”
Klopka: “Why would we be going to a train station, hmm? Perhaps to catch an airplane. No, that can’t be right. That would be called an airport. Hmm, what a mystery!”
Doog: “I like mysteries.”
Klopka: “It’s NOT a mystery! Idiot! I was being ironic. We’re obviously here to catch a TRAIN!”
Doog: “I might be an ‘idiot’ as you say, but I feel like we’re doing this wrong. Why are we on top of the train and not inside it?”
Klopka: “This isn’t really meant to be a passenger train. It’s for moving cargo, chemicals, and fertilizer between the sanctuary fields and the city.”
Doog: “The city? There’s a city out here somewhere?”
Klopka: “Yes. It’s called Adhalo. Adhalo is the only major city on Halavi. It’s situated in the mountains, hundreds of miles away from the sanctuary fields. That way, the city and her industries don’t disturb the important natural flora.”
Doog: “Hundreds of miles?”
Klopka: “Yeah. Get comfortable. We won’t reach Adhalo till nightfall.”
Five hours later…
Klopka: “This isn’t really meant to be a passenger train. It’s for moving cargo, chemicals, and fertilizer between the sanctuary fields and the city.”
Doog: “The city? There’s a city out here somewhere?”
Klopka: “Yes. It’s called Adhalo. Adhalo is the only major city on Halavi. It’s situated in the mountains, hundreds of miles away from the sanctuary fields. That way, the city and her industries don’t disturb the important natural flora.”
Doog: “Hundreds of miles?”
Klopka: “Yeah. Get comfortable. We won’t reach Adhalo till nightfall.”
Five hours later…
Doog: “I dozed off for a bit there. Things look a lot different now.”
Klopka: “That’s because we’re in the city.”
Doog: “Well, that I understand. It’s the mass of people now riding this train with us that is confusing. Does Adhalo have a hobo problem or something?”
Klopka: “What! No, of course not! People here utilize the top of the cargo train to get around the city.”
Klopka: “That’s because we’re in the city.”
Doog: “Well, that I understand. It’s the mass of people now riding this train with us that is confusing. Does Adhalo have a hobo problem or something?”
Klopka: “What! No, of course not! People here utilize the top of the cargo train to get around the city.”
Klopka: “It’s so commonplace that there are actually building exits at train height. Riding the top of this train is encouraged.”
Doog: “Are these buildings all atmosphere factories?”
Klopka: “No. Some make containers to hold atmosphere. Some produce filtering hardware. Some manufacture atmospheric additives for non-standard races. Some of these buildings house workers and their families as well.”
Klopka: “No. Some make containers to hold atmosphere. Some produce filtering hardware. Some manufacture atmospheric additives for non-standard races. Some of these buildings house workers and their families as well.”
Klopka: “Atmocline, the breathable-air exporter, is the last stop. If we don’t exit here, we get crushed in the tunnel ahead. Actually, maybe you should try that.”
Doog: “Nice try, Klopka, but the only thing I’m getting crushed by is an overweight prostitute at the next brothel I see. I’ve been in quarantine for months.”
Klopka: “There aren’t any brothels in Adhalo.”
Doog: “And they call this place a sanctuary…”
Doog: “Nice try, Klopka, but the only thing I’m getting crushed by is an overweight prostitute at the next brothel I see. I’ve been in quarantine for months.”
Klopka: “There aren’t any brothels in Adhalo.”
Doog: “And they call this place a sanctuary…”
Klopka: “Atmocline bottles breathable air, but, first, it needs to undergo some processing.”
Doog: “I’m guessing this freezing cold room is the processing.”
Klopka: “Yes. Cryogenic Air Distillation separates the captured air into its varying gases. Sensor readings determine if the air mixture is properly ratioed. The process also helps remove trace amounts of unwanted gas.”
Doog: “Like those methane farts I’ve been pumping out.”
Klopka: “Sigh. Yes.”
Doog: “Then what?”
Klopka: “Once the chamber equalizes to standard atmosphere, the mixture is reheated and bottled.”
Doog: “I’m guessing this freezing cold room is the processing.”
Klopka: “Yes. Cryogenic Air Distillation separates the captured air into its varying gases. Sensor readings determine if the air mixture is properly ratioed. The process also helps remove trace amounts of unwanted gas.”
Doog: “Like those methane farts I’ve been pumping out.”
Klopka: “Sigh. Yes.”
Doog: “Then what?”
Klopka: “Once the chamber equalizes to standard atmosphere, the mixture is reheated and bottled.”
Klopka: “Pressurized atmosphere containers are then shipped out across the galaxy.”
Doog: “What is it used for?”
Klopka: “Breathing, numbskull.”
Doog: “I know that, but where is it used.”
Klopka: “Places where people want to breathe?”
Doog: “Like?”
Klopka: “Spacecraft, space stations, and environmental suits.”
Doog: “That’s what I was looking for. Well, anything else to add?”
Doog: “What is it used for?”
Klopka: “Breathing, numbskull.”
Doog: “I know that, but where is it used.”
Klopka: “Places where people want to breathe?”
Doog: “Like?”
Klopka: “Spacecraft, space stations, and environmental suits.”
Doog: “That’s what I was looking for. Well, anything else to add?”
Doog: “I guess not. He’s walking away. Well folks, that’s Halavi. This episode might have taken a few months, but we did get a look at one of the more important worlds in the galaxy. Halavi and its rare plants make breathable gases for ships, space stations, and environmental suits. I’m dreading going back to my ship and facing the crew after a two-month delay. They might be a little upset that this took so long. Oh well, see ya!”
Note: To avoid contamination, non-standard atmospheres are bottled on different planets.
Note: To avoid contamination, non-standard atmospheres are bottled on different planets.
