There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Vesica
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting a rocky, desert planet called Vesica. Vesica is sparsely populated - only a few hundred people call this planet home. That’s because Vesica has very little water and no food. Why would anyone want to live here? Let’s find out.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off outside of a walled complex on the surface of Vesica. The big walls and chained gate have me worried. Why are they needed? What’s out here? Hey! Someone let me in!”
Beckett: “Who da heck is making all this racket?”
Doog: “I am. Let me in!”
Beckett: “Who is you?”
Doog: “I’m Doog.”
Beckett: “I didn’t order no Doog’s.”
Doog: “What? I’m not selling Doog’s, I am Doog.”
Beckett: “Whatcha sellin’ then?”
Doog: “I’m not selling anything! I’m here to do a show about this planet.”
Beckett: “Ah, you’s the TV reporter.”
Doog: “Yes! Now let me in before something gets me!”
Beckett: “Is something out there? I aint openin’ da door if there’s something out there. My kinfolk’s in here.”
Doog: “There’s nothing out here at the moment, but I’m assuming the walls are in place for something.”
Beckett: “Well, stop all that panickin’ then. You’re worse than a cat on a hot tin roof. Let me get the key.”
Doog: “I am. Let me in!”
Beckett: “Who is you?”
Doog: “I’m Doog.”
Beckett: “I didn’t order no Doog’s.”
Doog: “What? I’m not selling Doog’s, I am Doog.”
Beckett: “Whatcha sellin’ then?”
Doog: “I’m not selling anything! I’m here to do a show about this planet.”
Beckett: “Ah, you’s the TV reporter.”
Doog: “Yes! Now let me in before something gets me!”
Beckett: “Is something out there? I aint openin’ da door if there’s something out there. My kinfolk’s in here.”
Doog: “There’s nothing out here at the moment, but I’m assuming the walls are in place for something.”
Beckett: “Well, stop all that panickin’ then. You’re worse than a cat on a hot tin roof. Let me get the key.”
Beckett: “Welcome to my homestead. I’m Beckett. That’s my ol’ lady, Patty, and my boy, Beckett Jr.”
Doog: “Phew. Thanks for letting me in. Nice to meet you all.”
Beckett: “You need a water or somethin’? You’re awfully sweaty.”
Doog: “No, I’m good now. I saw the walls and panicked. I’ve had too many close calls over the years. Speaking of which, we are safe now, right?”
Beckett: “Yeah. Nothing’s getting through these walls. That’s why we built them.”
Doog: “Phew. That’s good to hear.”
Doog: “Phew. Thanks for letting me in. Nice to meet you all.”
Beckett: “You need a water or somethin’? You’re awfully sweaty.”
Doog: “No, I’m good now. I saw the walls and panicked. I’ve had too many close calls over the years. Speaking of which, we are safe now, right?”
Beckett: “Yeah. Nothing’s getting through these walls. That’s why we built them.”
Doog: “Phew. That’s good to hear.”
Beckett: “Unfortunately, the dang walls took up most of our startup credits. There wasn’t much left for an actual home.”
Doog: “I’m sure you’ll get a home eventually. You have to make some credits out here – why else would you move here?”
Beckett: “Make credits! Ha! That’s the biggest fib in this here galaxy!”
Doog: “What do you mean?”
Beckett: “We moved here cus’ they say there’s profit to be made on this here rock, but they sure didn’t tell us about all the costs.”
Doog: “Like the walls?”
Beckett: “Walls, water, food, fuel, ammo, and this big robot fella.”
Doog: “You need this robot?”
Beckett: “Well, I sure aint liftin’ no blob urchins on my own, if you catch my drift.”
Doog: “I don’t catch your drift. What’s a blob urchin?”
Beckett: “Part of our ‘profit’ on Vesica. I reckon I’ll grab my rifle and show ya.”
Doog: “I’m sure you’ll get a home eventually. You have to make some credits out here – why else would you move here?”
Beckett: “Make credits! Ha! That’s the biggest fib in this here galaxy!”
Doog: “What do you mean?”
Beckett: “We moved here cus’ they say there’s profit to be made on this here rock, but they sure didn’t tell us about all the costs.”
Doog: “Like the walls?”
Beckett: “Walls, water, food, fuel, ammo, and this big robot fella.”
Doog: “You need this robot?”
Beckett: “Well, I sure aint liftin’ no blob urchins on my own, if you catch my drift.”
Doog: “I don’t catch your drift. What’s a blob urchin?”
Beckett: “Part of our ‘profit’ on Vesica. I reckon I’ll grab my rifle and show ya.”
Doog: “Should we really head out? You spent all that money on these walls. Let’s not let them go to waste.”
Beckett: “Don’t be no scaredy-cat, boy. With this here rifle and big tin-head, we’ll be safer than a Plumbart eatin’ dreamfruit.”
Doog: “I have no idea what that means.”
Beckett: “I don’t either, to be honest. Sounded good though, right?”
Beckett: “Don’t be no scaredy-cat, boy. With this here rifle and big tin-head, we’ll be safer than a Plumbart eatin’ dreamfruit.”
Doog: “I have no idea what that means.”
Beckett: “I don’t either, to be honest. Sounded good though, right?”
Doog: “So, these blob things are the danger out here?”
Beckett: “Bless your heart, boy. Aint no danger in blob urchins. Heck, that’s what we’re out here lookin’ for.”
Doog: “I assumed they were dangerous because you said you needed a robot to handle them.”
Beckett: “I need a robot cus’ a blob urchin is heavy. Also, I don’t like their gross sticky slime. They smell kinda bad too.”
Doog: “If the blobs aren’t the danger…then what is?”
Beckett: “The predator that eats blob urchins…”
Beckett: “Bless your heart, boy. Aint no danger in blob urchins. Heck, that’s what we’re out here lookin’ for.”
Doog: “I assumed they were dangerous because you said you needed a robot to handle them.”
Beckett: “I need a robot cus’ a blob urchin is heavy. Also, I don’t like their gross sticky slime. They smell kinda bad too.”
Doog: “If the blobs aren’t the danger…then what is?”
Beckett: “The predator that eats blob urchins…”
Beckett: “…like this one here.”
Doog: “Holy crap. It’s a giant scorpion. By giant, I mean it’s close to the size of a car.”
Beckett: “Not a scorpion. It doesn’t have claws. It’s a Dhadao.”
Doog: “This isn’t the time for semantics. It has a huge stinger tail.”
Doog: “Holy crap. It’s a giant scorpion. By giant, I mean it’s close to the size of a car.”
Beckett: “Not a scorpion. It doesn’t have claws. It’s a Dhadao.”
Doog: “This isn’t the time for semantics. It has a huge stinger tail.”
Beckett: “Yeah, that stinger is big enough to make a me and you kabob. Don’t stand so close.”
Doog: “You don’t have to tell me twice. I’m getting behind the robot.”
Beckett: “The mouth pinchers aint no walk in the park either. It can easily take a limb.”
Doog: How about less scary facts and more about how we’re dealing with this thing. We shouldn’t have left the walls!”
Doog: “You don’t have to tell me twice. I’m getting behind the robot.”
Beckett: “The mouth pinchers aint no walk in the park either. It can easily take a limb.”
Doog: How about less scary facts and more about how we’re dealing with this thing. We shouldn’t have left the walls!”
Beckett: “Boy, you’re about as worthless as a screen door on space station. Quit your fussin’. Dhadao are no match for the rifle.”
Doog: “Is it dead?”
Beckett: “Its brains are leakin’ out its mouth. I’m gonna say yes.”
Doog: “I understand the walls now.”
Beckett: “Yeah, you should have been here at the beginning – before the walls. I slept with my rifle for a few months.”
Doog: “Yikes.”
Beckett: “Well, we better get to movin’. I reckon there are more Dhadao in the area.”
Doog: “You’re just going to leave it out here?”
Beckett: “You wanna bury it and have a ceremony or somethin’?”
Doog: “No, but can’t you use any of this? Food or something?”
Beckett: “Heck no! Dhadao eat blob urchins, and blob urchins eat bacteria. Eat that, and you’ll be at death’s door in ten minutes.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
Beckett: “Its brains are leakin’ out its mouth. I’m gonna say yes.”
Doog: “I understand the walls now.”
Beckett: “Yeah, you should have been here at the beginning – before the walls. I slept with my rifle for a few months.”
Doog: “Yikes.”
Beckett: “Well, we better get to movin’. I reckon there are more Dhadao in the area.”
Doog: “You’re just going to leave it out here?”
Beckett: “You wanna bury it and have a ceremony or somethin’?”
Doog: “No, but can’t you use any of this? Food or something?”
Beckett: “Heck no! Dhadao eat blob urchins, and blob urchins eat bacteria. Eat that, and you’ll be at death’s door in ten minutes.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
Beckett: “That’s a sight for sore eyes. Two blob urchins.”
Doog: “They really are blobs, aren’t they?”
Beckett: “Well yeah, we aint calling them that for fun.”
Doog: “They’re all flabby and slimy. They have tentacles too.”
Beckett: “Yep. They’re slicker than Kaadu snot.”
Doog: “You said they eat bacteria, right?”
Beckett: “Yeah. They ooze around the dirt and rocks, scoopin’ up bacteria in their goop. The bacteria are then absorbed into the urchins using some type of science. What’s that thing again, robot?”
Robot: “INTERMOLECULAR CONSUMPTION.”
Beckett: “Yeah, that.”
Doog: “They really are blobs, aren’t they?”
Beckett: “Well yeah, we aint calling them that for fun.”
Doog: “They’re all flabby and slimy. They have tentacles too.”
Beckett: “Yep. They’re slicker than Kaadu snot.”
Doog: “You said they eat bacteria, right?”
Beckett: “Yeah. They ooze around the dirt and rocks, scoopin’ up bacteria in their goop. The bacteria are then absorbed into the urchins using some type of science. What’s that thing again, robot?”
Robot: “INTERMOLECULAR CONSUMPTION.”
Beckett: “Yeah, that.”
Doog: “What do you collect from them? Slime?”
Beckett: “Urine.”
Doog: “Pardon me?”
Beckett: “Urine, pee, wizz…must I go on?”
Doog: “Why would you want blob urine?”
Beckett: “Those bacteria they eat are special. They are that one thing…robot, what are they?”
Robot: “CHEMOTROPHS.”
Beckett: “Yeah, that’s it. The bacteria eat the minerals in the soil. When the blob eats them, the blob picks-up them minerals too.”
Doog: “And…. they eventually pee those minerals out.”
Beckett: “Yep.”
Doog: “That leaves just one unanswered question. How does one collect urine from a blob?”
Beckett: “Urine.”
Doog: “Pardon me?”
Beckett: “Urine, pee, wizz…must I go on?”
Doog: “Why would you want blob urine?”
Beckett: “Those bacteria they eat are special. They are that one thing…robot, what are they?”
Robot: “CHEMOTROPHS.”
Beckett: “Yeah, that’s it. The bacteria eat the minerals in the soil. When the blob eats them, the blob picks-up them minerals too.”
Doog: “And…. they eventually pee those minerals out.”
Beckett: “Yep.”
Doog: “That leaves just one unanswered question. How does one collect urine from a blob?”
Beckett: “That’s where my pal, robot, comes in handy. He gets all up in their undersides and squeezes da forbidden lemonade straight from their bladders.”
Doog: “I don’t think I can show this on TV. Ugh, and that smells terrible too.”
Beckett: “That smell is the concentrated urine. Them blob urchins don’t be wasting no water.”
Doog: “I don’t think I can show this on TV. Ugh, and that smells terrible too.”
Beckett: “That smell is the concentrated urine. Them blob urchins don’t be wasting no water.”
Doog: “What chemical is possibly worth this much trouble?”
Beckett: “Robot, do the thing.”
Robot: “THE URINE IS HIGH IN SODIUM HEXAFLUOROALUMINATE, ALSO KNOWN AS CRYOLITIC SALT.”
Beckett: “That’s the stuff.”
Doog: “You fight death-scorpions and violate blob creatures for SALT?”
Beckett: “Not the eatin’ kind. The crystal kind. Makes glass or something. Robot, tell um.”
Robot: “CRYLITIC SALT HAS A MODERATE MOHS HARDNESS AND LOW REFRACTIVE INDEX. WHEN IMMERSED IN WATER, CRYOLITIC SALTS ARE ESSENTIALLY INVISIBLE. THEY ARE AN INGREDIENT IN MAKING WINDOWS FOR SUBMARINES AND UNDERWATER HABITATS.”
Doog: “Remind to wash my hands when touching underwater glass. I didn’t know that stuff was made from blob pee.”
Beckett: “Robot, do the thing.”
Robot: “THE URINE IS HIGH IN SODIUM HEXAFLUOROALUMINATE, ALSO KNOWN AS CRYOLITIC SALT.”
Beckett: “That’s the stuff.”
Doog: “You fight death-scorpions and violate blob creatures for SALT?”
Beckett: “Not the eatin’ kind. The crystal kind. Makes glass or something. Robot, tell um.”
Robot: “CRYLITIC SALT HAS A MODERATE MOHS HARDNESS AND LOW REFRACTIVE INDEX. WHEN IMMERSED IN WATER, CRYOLITIC SALTS ARE ESSENTIALLY INVISIBLE. THEY ARE AN INGREDIENT IN MAKING WINDOWS FOR SUBMARINES AND UNDERWATER HABITATS.”
Doog: “Remind to wash my hands when touching underwater glass. I didn’t know that stuff was made from blob pee.”
Doog: “Let’s just take a moment and appreciate these walls. Sweet security!”
Beckett: “It’s nice to be back, but the bunker aint my favorite spot in the homestead.”
Doog: “Bunker?”
Beckett: “Yeah, where processing gets done. Follow me”
Beckett: “It’s nice to be back, but the bunker aint my favorite spot in the homestead.”
Doog: “Bunker?”
Beckett: “Yeah, where processing gets done. Follow me”
Doog: “Ew, sick. It smells terrible down here.”
Beckett: “That there urine smells bad on its own, but it gets worse when you boil it.”
Doog: “Indeed. Why are you doing that?”
Beckett: “Gettin’ rid of the last little bits of water.”
Beckett: “That there urine smells bad on its own, but it gets worse when you boil it.”
Doog: “Indeed. Why are you doing that?”
Beckett: “Gettin’ rid of the last little bits of water.”
Beckett: “Dry salt crystals gets packaged up and shipped out. Usually, we trade it for food, water, fuel, and ammo. The little that’s left gets sold for profit.”
Doog: “How much profit are we talking?”
Beckett: “I reckon I might be able to finish my home in thirty years or so.”
Doog: “Not a lot. Got it. Well, anything else to add?”
Beckett: “Nope, but I think we better get out of here. We left the door open. All the bad air is gettin’ out.”
Doog: “How much profit are we talking?”
Beckett: “I reckon I might be able to finish my home in thirty years or so.”
Doog: “Not a lot. Got it. Well, anything else to add?”
Beckett: “Nope, but I think we better get out of here. We left the door open. All the bad air is gettin’ out.”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s Vesica. Poor settlers on this world work in hard, dangerous conditions to make underwater glass. It’s sort of ironic, given the lack of water on this planet. Oh – I forgot the weirdest part – they make this glass from the urine of a blob-like creature. Yeah, you heard that right. Well, on to the next one. See ya!”
Note: Cryolitic salts are shipped to planets like Cicatrix, where they are processed into glass products.
Note: Cryolitic salts are shipped to planets like Cicatrix, where they are processed into glass products.
