There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Belua
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the circumbinary planet, Belua. Belua orbits the stars Siyavash and Sudabeh on the outer edge of the Sanguinolentus Nebula. Belua is mostly rocky shrublands, but it does have some prairielands around its large, green lakes. Yes, I did say green. Large populations of cyanobacteria within the lakes give the bodies of water their distinct coloration. Well, I’ve said about as much as I can about the planet for now. Let’s head down to Belua’s largest city, Lacuī.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off in a small spaceport within Lacuī. Lacuī is a moderately large city. So far, nothing really stands out…well, except these pink-sluglike people. I’ve seen their race before, but never in this number. Perhaps they’re the locals?”
Iggy: “Doog, sir. I am Igzin Uz’un Uk’zik, but you may prefer to call me Iggy.”
Doog: “I definitely prefer Iggy. Whatever you said before sounded like a series of sneezes. I could never remember that.”
Iggy: “The Beluan language is difficult for non-natives – given your lack of a radula. It makes the grinding ‘z’s’ an impossibility.”
Doog: “Yeah, sure. So, you said non-natives – does that mean your race is native to Belua?”
Iggy: “Indeed. This is our origin-world.”
Doog: “Good to know. So, what can you tell me about your homeworld?”
Iggy: “Origin-world.”
Doog: “I don’t see the difference.”
Iggy: “It is the planet my species originated on, but it is not solely our home. Many species now live on Belua. It’s their home too. It feels more inclusive to differentiate the two.”
Doog: “Uh, sure. Whatever. What can you tell me about your origin-world.”
Doog: “I definitely prefer Iggy. Whatever you said before sounded like a series of sneezes. I could never remember that.”
Iggy: “The Beluan language is difficult for non-natives – given your lack of a radula. It makes the grinding ‘z’s’ an impossibility.”
Doog: “Yeah, sure. So, you said non-natives – does that mean your race is native to Belua?”
Iggy: “Indeed. This is our origin-world.”
Doog: “Good to know. So, what can you tell me about your homeworld?”
Iggy: “Origin-world.”
Doog: “I don’t see the difference.”
Iggy: “It is the planet my species originated on, but it is not solely our home. Many species now live on Belua. It’s their home too. It feels more inclusive to differentiate the two.”
Doog: “Uh, sure. Whatever. What can you tell me about your origin-world.”
Iggy: “Belua is all about the lakes. All of the planet’s major cities are positioned beside them, including Lacuī. The lakes are the source of our food and water, and they drive the economy.”
Doog: “I don’t see any lakes.”
Iggy: “Well, you were dropped off in the middle of Lacuī, miles from the actual lake. We’d need to travel up to the coast district to see it in person. I think that could be arranged.”
Doog: “No, that’s ok. I saw it from above when we were landing. It’s just greenish water.”
Doog: “I don’t see any lakes.”
Iggy: “Well, you were dropped off in the middle of Lacuī, miles from the actual lake. We’d need to travel up to the coast district to see it in person. I think that could be arranged.”
Doog: “No, that’s ok. I saw it from above when we were landing. It’s just greenish water.”
Iggy: “You can’t see the actual lake from here, but you can still see its waters. They flow through canals all over the city.”
Doog: “I see. Why do you need canals?”
Iggy: “It brings the life-giving waters into the city, allows goods to be transported easily, and, more importantly, it increases the lake’s surface area, allowing more cyanobacteria to grow. In case you didn’t know, the cyanobacteria only grow near the surface.”
Doog: “These bacteria are good?”
Iggy: “You bet your sweet gonopores they are. Not only are the cyanobacteria the primary form of my species’ diet, they also drive Belua’s economy.”
Doog: “Bacteria drives an economy? My underwear could be worth billions!”
Doog: “I see. Why do you need canals?”
Iggy: “It brings the life-giving waters into the city, allows goods to be transported easily, and, more importantly, it increases the lake’s surface area, allowing more cyanobacteria to grow. In case you didn’t know, the cyanobacteria only grow near the surface.”
Doog: “These bacteria are good?”
Iggy: “You bet your sweet gonopores they are. Not only are the cyanobacteria the primary form of my species’ diet, they also drive Belua’s economy.”
Doog: “Bacteria drives an economy? My underwear could be worth billions!”
Doog: “All kidding aside, how does bacteria figure into your economy?”
Iggy: “Cyanobacteria fulfills the diets of more than just my species.”
Doog: “So you collect it and sell it as food for other species?”
Iggy: “Not exactly. We feed it to another native creature. Come on, follow me.”
Iggy: “Cyanobacteria fulfills the diets of more than just my species.”
Doog: “So you collect it and sell it as food for other species?”
Iggy: “Not exactly. We feed it to another native creature. Come on, follow me.”
Iggy: “Welcome to the factory, Neuro-Belua.”
Doog: “This is a factory? It’s all damp, musty, and mossy.”
Iggy: “Technically, it’s a factory farm. The livestock we raise in here prefer damper environments.”
Doog: “What are you raising?”
Iggy: “Uz’zin Uk’harz.”
Doog: “Gesundheit.”
Iggy: “I wasn’t sneezing. That’s their name, Uz’zin Uk’harz. In basic, it roughly means…”
Doog: “This is a factory? It’s all damp, musty, and mossy.”
Iggy: “Technically, it’s a factory farm. The livestock we raise in here prefer damper environments.”
Doog: “What are you raising?”
Iggy: “Uz’zin Uk’harz.”
Doog: “Gesundheit.”
Iggy: “I wasn’t sneezing. That’s their name, Uz’zin Uk’harz. In basic, it roughly means…”
Iggy: “…ancient ancestor.”
Doog: “Wow. I wasn’t expecting a giant slug monster.”
Iggy: “They’re not monsters. They’re actually docile algivorous gastropods.”
Doog: “Sorry. I just assumed. I didn’t mean to insult your ancestor. I can’t believe you guys came from these things though. You’re way less ugly. No offense.”
Iggy: “We are not direct descendants. We shared an ancient ancestor millions of years ago.”
Doog: “Oh, ok. That makes more sense. You don’t have all those horrid spiky hands and bulging eyes. Again, no offense. Maybe I should just stop talking.”
Doog: “Wow. I wasn’t expecting a giant slug monster.”
Iggy: “They’re not monsters. They’re actually docile algivorous gastropods.”
Doog: “Sorry. I just assumed. I didn’t mean to insult your ancestor. I can’t believe you guys came from these things though. You’re way less ugly. No offense.”
Iggy: “We are not direct descendants. We shared an ancient ancestor millions of years ago.”
Doog: “Oh, ok. That makes more sense. You don’t have all those horrid spiky hands and bulging eyes. Again, no offense. Maybe I should just stop talking.”
Iggy: “The Uz’zin Uk’harz are fed concentrated cyanobacteria, or algae, from the lake and canals.”
Doog: “And what do you get in return? Please don’t say meat. Please don’t say meat.”
Iggy: “Eggs.”
Doog: “Barf. Eggs are essentially meat.”
Iggy: “They’re not for consumption.”
Doog: “Oh, phew.”
Doog: “And what do you get in return? Please don’t say meat. Please don’t say meat.”
Iggy: “Eggs.”
Doog: “Barf. Eggs are essentially meat.”
Iggy: “They’re not for consumption.”
Doog: “Oh, phew.”
Doog: “What are the eggs used for if not eating?”
Iggy: “Well, some are used for what eggs are usually used for – growing new Uz’zin Uk’harz. The rest are used as a source of nonbenzodiazepine chemicals – something we call, Z-drugs.”
Doog: “The eggs have drugs inside? That has me rethinking a few things.”
Iggy: “Don’t get too excited. The chemicals in the eggs need processing first.”
Iggy: “Well, some are used for what eggs are usually used for – growing new Uz’zin Uk’harz. The rest are used as a source of nonbenzodiazepine chemicals – something we call, Z-drugs.”
Doog: “The eggs have drugs inside? That has me rethinking a few things.”
Iggy: “Don’t get too excited. The chemicals in the eggs need processing first.”
Doog: “What kind of drugs are we talking about? Buffies, uppies, downers, spice, depressants, hallucinogenics, buzzers, stims, trippies, junkers, itchers?”
Iggy: “Soporific.”
Doog: “Ooh, exciting! I don’t know what those are. I like new drugs!”
Iggy: “Sleeping aids.”
Doog: “Boo! Those don’t sound fun. If I want to sleep, I just listen to Oldie talk about the old days.”
Iggy: “Soporific.”
Doog: “Ooh, exciting! I don’t know what those are. I like new drugs!”
Iggy: “Sleeping aids.”
Doog: “Boo! Those don’t sound fun. If I want to sleep, I just listen to Oldie talk about the old days.”
Doog: “How can sleeping pills drive an economy? Especially in this boring galaxy? Sleeping is the best and only thing you can do for free.”
Iggy: “They’re quite different than you’re imagining. They’re quite popular.”
Doog: “Pfft. Boring.”
Iggy: “Also, Uz’zin Uk’harz farming and Z-drugs are only part of our economy. The cyanobacteria have many uses. They’re used to manufacture several goods, like – cosmetics, deodorants, and food additives. Belua exports these goods as well.”
Doog: “Pssht, those things aren’t important to me.”
Iggy: “I can smell…I mean tell.”
Iggy: “They’re quite different than you’re imagining. They’re quite popular.”
Doog: “Pfft. Boring.”
Iggy: “Also, Uz’zin Uk’harz farming and Z-drugs are only part of our economy. The cyanobacteria have many uses. They’re used to manufacture several goods, like – cosmetics, deodorants, and food additives. Belua exports these goods as well.”
Doog: “Pssht, those things aren’t important to me.”
Iggy: “I can smell…I mean tell.”
Doog: “What’s this?”
Iggy: “Yolk processing. They’re deriving the Z-drug from the Uz’zin Uk’harz eggs.”
Iggy: “Yolk processing. They’re deriving the Z-drug from the Uz’zin Uk’harz eggs.”
Iggy: “Once derived, the chemical is bottled and sold under the name Z-Lucidity.”
Doog: “That’s a dumb name.”
Iggy: “I disagree. It’s quite fitting. Z because of my race’s grinding pronunciation, Z also being a sleep symbol – catch some Z’s, and lucidity because of its ability to allow users to lucid dream.”
Doog: “That’s a dumb name.”
Iggy: “I disagree. It’s quite fitting. Z because of my race’s grinding pronunciation, Z also being a sleep symbol – catch some Z’s, and lucidity because of its ability to allow users to lucid dream.”
Doog: “Lucid dream? What’s that?”
Iggy: “Essentially, it’s the ability to know you’re dreaming, and, therefore, the ability to control your own dream.”
Doog: “And that’s good how?”
Iggy: “You can do anything your dream. Do you want to fly? Do you want to be super rich? Have bigger gonopores? Visit exotic locations?”
Doog: “Like a controllable dream?”
Iggy: “Like a second life. A perfect life.”
Iggy: “Essentially, it’s the ability to know you’re dreaming, and, therefore, the ability to control your own dream.”
Doog: “And that’s good how?”
Iggy: “You can do anything your dream. Do you want to fly? Do you want to be super rich? Have bigger gonopores? Visit exotic locations?”
Doog: “Like a controllable dream?”
Iggy: “Like a second life. A perfect life.”
Doog: “That sounds pretty cool. Too bad dreams are so short.”
Iggy: “Ah, but for the magic of Z-Lucidity. When dosed, continuous REM sleep generally occurs for several days. Given time compression in dreams, you could dream a lifetime.”
Doog: “I am seriously second guessing myself right now. Slug dream juice might be an ok drug.”
Iggy: “It can be marvelous, but also addicting and dangerous. The depressive return to reality can be too much for some. Those wishing to dream too long often die from lack of water and food. This drug is best used in a professional, controlled setting. Like a dream den. Make a left into this building.”
Iggy: “Ah, but for the magic of Z-Lucidity. When dosed, continuous REM sleep generally occurs for several days. Given time compression in dreams, you could dream a lifetime.”
Doog: “I am seriously second guessing myself right now. Slug dream juice might be an ok drug.”
Iggy: “It can be marvelous, but also addicting and dangerous. The depressive return to reality can be too much for some. Those wishing to dream too long often die from lack of water and food. This drug is best used in a professional, controlled setting. Like a dream den. Make a left into this building.”
Dream Dealer: “Salutations customers. Welcome to your new reality. Live a lifetime of happiness for a spattering of credits.”
Iggy: “We’re not interested.”
Dream Dealer: “Are you sure? Our monitoring sensors let you dream until the last second. Only in the direct threat of death shall we wake you. Become who you were meant to be…in your dreams.”
Iggy: “No thanks.”
Doog: “Are you sure? That sounds pretty amazing.”
Iggy: “These dreams cost too much.”
Dream Dealer: “Is a mere hundred credits too much for your perfect life?”
Iggy: “We’re not interested.”
Dream Dealer: “Are you sure? Our monitoring sensors let you dream until the last second. Only in the direct threat of death shall we wake you. Become who you were meant to be…in your dreams.”
Iggy: “No thanks.”
Doog: “Are you sure? That sounds pretty amazing.”
Iggy: “These dreams cost too much.”
Dream Dealer: “Is a mere hundred credits too much for your perfect life?”
Iggy: “It’s more than a financial cost. Most of these people will never be the same. Nothing in their actual life will compare to the dreams they once had. Z-Lucidity should be used sparingly and only in the direst situations – when happiness can be found no other way.”
Dream Dealer: “If you don’t like reality after dreaming, another wonderful life is but another hundred credits. You can dream for as long as your wallet is deep.”
Doog: “Sounds good, but I have like three credits to my name.”
Dream Dealer: “Well, dream your poor self out of my den, loiterer.”
Dream Dealer: “If you don’t like reality after dreaming, another wonderful life is but another hundred credits. You can dream for as long as your wallet is deep.”
Doog: “Sounds good, but I have like three credits to my name.”
Dream Dealer: “Well, dream your poor self out of my den, loiterer.”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s Belua. This planet is home to several mollusk-like creatures – the sentient Beluans and the giant slug beasts named after a sneeze. The latter lay eggs that have a chemical used to take lucid dreaming to the extreme. It seems like you can have a fully controllable dream for days and days, and, in the dreamworld, that might seem like forever. Unfortunately, you have to wake up sometime, and it costs more than I make a year. Otherwise, I’d be dreaming about sixty years of non-stop brothels. Oh well, see ya!”
Note: “Once, Zhuang Zhou dreamed he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering about, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know that he was Zhuang Zhou. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable. But he didn't know if he was Zhuang Zhou who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that he was Zhuang Zhou.”
--Master Zhuang
Note: “Once, Zhuang Zhou dreamed he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering about, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know that he was Zhuang Zhou. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable. But he didn't know if he was Zhuang Zhou who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that he was Zhuang Zhou.”
--Master Zhuang
