There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Parvulus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Parvulus. Parvulus, true to the spirit of this show, is an unknown world. You could travel to a thousand planets and not cross a single individual that’s heard of Parvulus. The planet has no major settlements, exports, or industries. Yet, I’m told this planet is one of the most important in the galaxy. Let’s head down and see why.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off on the surface of Parvulus. The foliage is the first thing that catches my eye. Every plant looks to be some shade of purple. There are some large flower things and some very fragrant pod shrubs. It’s kind of nice. Oh, there’s also this little cottage behind me.”
Earnest: “It’s not little! It’s quite big actually!”
Doog: “Whoa, whoa. I meant no offense. No need to shoot!”
Earnest: “I’m not going to shoot you, poltroon. I’m your guide, Earnest Tuffin.”
Doog: “Sorry, I guess the gun pointing in my general direction was a tad misleading.”
Earnest: “My fingers not even on the trigger.”
Doog: “Why do you have the gun at all? Are their dangers on Parvulus?”
Earnest: “There could be. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”
Doog: “Uh, ok. That didn’t really answer my question, but you seem to have a short fuse, so I won’t press any further.”
Doog: “Whoa, whoa. I meant no offense. No need to shoot!”
Earnest: “I’m not going to shoot you, poltroon. I’m your guide, Earnest Tuffin.”
Doog: “Sorry, I guess the gun pointing in my general direction was a tad misleading.”
Earnest: “My fingers not even on the trigger.”
Doog: “Why do you have the gun at all? Are their dangers on Parvulus?”
Earnest: “There could be. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”
Doog: “Uh, ok. That didn’t really answer my question, but you seem to have a short fuse, so I won’t press any further.”
Earnest: “SHORT fuse? Short! What are you trying to say, lily liver?!”
Doog: “Oh, ha. I didn’t even mean to do that. I didn’t even notice that you’re short. Your oversized hat threw me off.”
Earnest: “It’s NOT oversized! It’s a perfectly normal safari hat! I wear it because I’m an explorer! It has nothing to do with my perfectly normal height!”
Doog: “Someone’s overly sensitive.”
Earnest: “Am not!”
Doog: “Ok. Ok. Let’s change the subject. What do you explore?”
Earnest: “Well, not much these days. Most of the tribes have been located and mapped. I guess I’m more of an emissary now.”
Doog: “Emissary? What’s that?”
Earnest: “Big legs don’t equal big brains, do they? An emissary is like an ambassador. I interact with the locals.”
Doog: “I guess that means we’re meeting the locals?”
Earnest: “We are. Try to keep up.”
Doog: “Oh, ha. I didn’t even mean to do that. I didn’t even notice that you’re short. Your oversized hat threw me off.”
Earnest: “It’s NOT oversized! It’s a perfectly normal safari hat! I wear it because I’m an explorer! It has nothing to do with my perfectly normal height!”
Doog: “Someone’s overly sensitive.”
Earnest: “Am not!”
Doog: “Ok. Ok. Let’s change the subject. What do you explore?”
Earnest: “Well, not much these days. Most of the tribes have been located and mapped. I guess I’m more of an emissary now.”
Doog: “Emissary? What’s that?”
Earnest: “Big legs don’t equal big brains, do they? An emissary is like an ambassador. I interact with the locals.”
Doog: “I guess that means we’re meeting the locals?”
Earnest: “We are. Try to keep up.”
Penelope: “Schmutzy, dear, did you remember your platform boots?”
Earnest: “What are you talking about random lady?! I don’t wear special boots! I’m always this tall!”
Doog: “Ha. Random lady? She came out of your house and called you ‘schmutzy’.”
Earnest: “I don’t want to talk about it!”
Earnest: “What are you talking about random lady?! I don’t wear special boots! I’m always this tall!”
Doog: “Ha. Random lady? She came out of your house and called you ‘schmutzy’.”
Earnest: “I don’t want to talk about it!”
Earnest: “We’re finally here.”
Doog: “That wasn’t too bad of a walk. I mean, at least, for me. That was probably an extra eight-thousand steps for you.”
Earnest: “One more short joke, chucklehead, and this finger finds the trigger.”
Doog: “Relax. I’m just joking. So, this is one of the tribes you spoke about earlier?”
Earnest: “Yes, one of several thousand spread across Parvulus. In my early years, I was part of the expedition that mapped and identified all the planet’s tribes.”
Doog: “What was the purpose of that? Is the LIU planning on relocating them or something?”
Earnest: “No. The Parva race has a remarkable breeding system that is of extreme interest to the LIU.”
Doog: “Breeding? You have my interest too. Bring on the weird alien porn.”
Earnest: “It has nothing to do with that, perv. The Parva race possesses genetic memory.”
Doog: “That wasn’t too bad of a walk. I mean, at least, for me. That was probably an extra eight-thousand steps for you.”
Earnest: “One more short joke, chucklehead, and this finger finds the trigger.”
Doog: “Relax. I’m just joking. So, this is one of the tribes you spoke about earlier?”
Earnest: “Yes, one of several thousand spread across Parvulus. In my early years, I was part of the expedition that mapped and identified all the planet’s tribes.”
Doog: “What was the purpose of that? Is the LIU planning on relocating them or something?”
Earnest: “No. The Parva race has a remarkable breeding system that is of extreme interest to the LIU.”
Doog: “Breeding? You have my interest too. Bring on the weird alien porn.”
Earnest: “It has nothing to do with that, perv. The Parva race possesses genetic memory.”
Doog: “Genetic memory?”
Earnest: “Yes. Every offspring born to the Parva have the combined knowledge of their parents.”
Doog: “So, they remember when their parents conceived them? What are their suicide rates like?”
Earnest: “Only a deviant dimwit, like yourself would think of that first. This is a remarkable ability that allows the Parva to have untold potential. They have all the knowledge of their forebearers. They are born with every skill, every memory, every idea that their predecessors possessed.”
Doog: “And that’s good?”
Earnest: “Well, yeah, obviously. The Parva have one of the greatest galactic cultures. Essentially, they act as one being – a collective consciousness of a sort. They never war or display violence. They work as one for the betterment of their tribe and their race.”
Doog: “Hmm. I guess that’s good. I see a problem though, not everyone seems equal. I can see the guys in cool helmets chilling as these other guys labor in the fields. It seems like they aren’t more advanced than our society. There is still inequality.”
Earnest: “Yes. Every offspring born to the Parva have the combined knowledge of their parents.”
Doog: “So, they remember when their parents conceived them? What are their suicide rates like?”
Earnest: “Only a deviant dimwit, like yourself would think of that first. This is a remarkable ability that allows the Parva to have untold potential. They have all the knowledge of their forebearers. They are born with every skill, every memory, every idea that their predecessors possessed.”
Doog: “And that’s good?”
Earnest: “Well, yeah, obviously. The Parva have one of the greatest galactic cultures. Essentially, they act as one being – a collective consciousness of a sort. They never war or display violence. They work as one for the betterment of their tribe and their race.”
Doog: “Hmm. I guess that’s good. I see a problem though, not everyone seems equal. I can see the guys in cool helmets chilling as these other guys labor in the fields. It seems like they aren’t more advanced than our society. There is still inequality.”
Earnest: “Ah, but you’re wrong. The Parva do have castes: priests, protectors, farmers, laborers, et cetera, but they account for that within their breeding system.”
Doog: “How so?”
Earnest: “The castes interbreed. Priests cannot mate with other priests. Farmers cannot breed with farmers, and so on. Their offspring have knowledge of both castes and both duties. Upon birth they are assigned to whatever caste is in need, including castes that neither parent was a part of. There is not an equality of jobs, but an equality of knowledge.”
Doog: “That’s weird.”
Earnest: “Is it? Having the whole population fully educated in all aspects of society is a huge evolutionary advantage. If diseases kill off a whole caste, any of the other castes can step in and take over. Death does not equate the loss of skill or knowledge.”
Doog: “How so?”
Earnest: “The castes interbreed. Priests cannot mate with other priests. Farmers cannot breed with farmers, and so on. Their offspring have knowledge of both castes and both duties. Upon birth they are assigned to whatever caste is in need, including castes that neither parent was a part of. There is not an equality of jobs, but an equality of knowledge.”
Doog: “That’s weird.”
Earnest: “Is it? Having the whole population fully educated in all aspects of society is a huge evolutionary advantage. If diseases kill off a whole caste, any of the other castes can step in and take over. Death does not equate the loss of skill or knowledge.”
Earnest: “To prevent one tribe from dominating, the Parva also participate in nuptial trades.”
Doog: “What trades?”
Earnest: “Nuptial trades. Tribes send mature ambassadors to other tribes to mate and combine their knowledge. It ensures that all tribes, planetwide, have the knowledge of all the others.”
Doog: “What trades?”
Earnest: “Nuptial trades. Tribes send mature ambassadors to other tribes to mate and combine their knowledge. It ensures that all tribes, planetwide, have the knowledge of all the others.”
Doog: “This is all so confusing. Can I at least see the mating? I might understand that more.”
Earnest: “You wish, you debauched lecher. The Parva don’t mate as you expect. They are genderless.”
Doog: “Do they just bud off or something?”
Earnest: “No, they combine genetic matter externally in specialized nesting grounds. The genetic material coalesces inside a protective gene sac.”
Doog: “They’re wriggling and pulsating. Gross.”
Earnest: “Genetic broods, between two individuals, can produce dozens of potential offspring, but only a few survive. The knowledge imprinted into the DNA isn’t easy to combine correctly. Generally, less than two percent are viable after a few weeks.”
Doog: “What happens to the rest of them? Is that where the LIU comes in? Do we eat the leftover eggs or something?”
Earnest: “Did you live under a power cell or something? Of course not.”
Earnest: “You wish, you debauched lecher. The Parva don’t mate as you expect. They are genderless.”
Doog: “Do they just bud off or something?”
Earnest: “No, they combine genetic matter externally in specialized nesting grounds. The genetic material coalesces inside a protective gene sac.”
Doog: “They’re wriggling and pulsating. Gross.”
Earnest: “Genetic broods, between two individuals, can produce dozens of potential offspring, but only a few survive. The knowledge imprinted into the DNA isn’t easy to combine correctly. Generally, less than two percent are viable after a few weeks.”
Doog: “What happens to the rest of them? Is that where the LIU comes in? Do we eat the leftover eggs or something?”
Earnest: “Did you live under a power cell or something? Of course not.”
Earnest: “The implications of genetic memory are far more valuable than embryo meat. Imagine the implications.”
Doog: “Generations and generations of my offspring revisiting my brothel mistakes? I swear she was a she, and stuff like that.”
Earnest: “You’re a real Ninnyhammer, aren’t you? If genetic memory works as we suspect, we could create the most educated race ever. No more schooling, no more waiting years for intellectual replacements…we will always have fully educated offspring.”
Doog: “Generations and generations of my offspring revisiting my brothel mistakes? I swear she was a she, and stuff like that.”
Earnest: “You’re a real Ninnyhammer, aren’t you? If genetic memory works as we suspect, we could create the most educated race ever. No more schooling, no more waiting years for intellectual replacements…we will always have fully educated offspring.”
Doog: “I see. Say, that’s an intimidating wall. What tribe is this?”
Earnest: “It’s not a tribe. It’s the LIU.”
Doog: “The LIU has a facility here?”
Earnest: “Does the LIU have a facility here on Parvulus – the planet with the knowledge genes? Duh! This is galaxy changing stuff.”
Doog: “Oh, they want short people genes. Makes sense. It makes spaceship design so much cheaper.”
Earnest: ‘NO! You IMBECILE! They want Parva genes! Genetic memory means the LIU can make super intelligent beings! Also, I’m NOT SHORT!”
Doog: “I guess I’m having trouble understanding. It must be because I’m talking to a hat instead of a head!”
Earnest: “GRRR!”
Doog: “Relax, old man. I’m kidding.”
Earnest: ‘I’m not old!”
Doog: “Wow, someone here is in denial…on multiple fronts.”
Earnest: “It’s not a tribe. It’s the LIU.”
Doog: “The LIU has a facility here?”
Earnest: “Does the LIU have a facility here on Parvulus – the planet with the knowledge genes? Duh! This is galaxy changing stuff.”
Doog: “Oh, they want short people genes. Makes sense. It makes spaceship design so much cheaper.”
Earnest: ‘NO! You IMBECILE! They want Parva genes! Genetic memory means the LIU can make super intelligent beings! Also, I’m NOT SHORT!”
Doog: “I guess I’m having trouble understanding. It must be because I’m talking to a hat instead of a head!”
Earnest: “GRRR!”
Doog: “Relax, old man. I’m kidding.”
Earnest: ‘I’m not old!”
Doog: “Wow, someone here is in denial…on multiple fronts.”
Doog: “Big walls and security. Maybe I’m not processing the importance of this.”
Earnest: “There’s a LIU research facility a few miles inside this wall. Security is mostly in place to prevent any Parva test subjects from escaping.”
Doog: “Why?”
Earnest: “You’re about as sharp as a sack full of pony soup. The Parva can pass on anything they learn. If they learn sensitive material within the facility, they can never leave or mate, otherwise, the information can spread planetwide through reproduction.”
Doog: “Oh.”
Earnest: “There’s a LIU research facility a few miles inside this wall. Security is mostly in place to prevent any Parva test subjects from escaping.”
Doog: “Why?”
Earnest: “You’re about as sharp as a sack full of pony soup. The Parva can pass on anything they learn. If they learn sensitive material within the facility, they can never leave or mate, otherwise, the information can spread planetwide through reproduction.”
Doog: “Oh.”
Doog: “I’m glad to see a transport. You almost lost me at miles inside the wall.”
Earnest: “Transports are more important than that. They have the navigation software to disarm the mines.”
Doog: “I see that now. There are mines everywhere.”
Earnest: “Nothing must escape.”
Earnest: “Transports are more important than that. They have the navigation software to disarm the mines.”
Doog: “I see that now. There are mines everywhere.”
Earnest: “Nothing must escape.”
Soldier: “We’re approaching Project Omniscient. ETA, six minutes.”
Earnest: “Thank you.”
Doog: “Project Omniscient?”
Earnest: “Yeah. Omniscient means all-knowing.”
Earnest: “Thank you.”
Doog: “Project Omniscient?”
Earnest: “Yeah. Omniscient means all-knowing.”
Doog: “So, what goes on in here? Are the scientists splicing the Parva DNA into ours or something?”
Earnest: “I’m not sure, actually. This is as far as I can go.”
Earnest: “I’m not sure, actually. This is as far as I can go.”
Mara: “Welcome to Project Omniscient. I am Mara Betenos, the Project Director.”
Doog: “You’re a Tutarin. Aren’t you?”
Mara: “Yes. If you’ll follow me, we can begin.”
Doog: “Well, I guess that’s the end for us, Earnest. Don’t fret though, these Tutarins are total genetic experts. I’m going to ask about some new leg genes for you!”
Earnest: “My legs are FINE! I hope we never see each other again, you gormless urchin!”
Doog: “You’re a Tutarin. Aren’t you?”
Mara: “Yes. If you’ll follow me, we can begin.”
Doog: “Well, I guess that’s the end for us, Earnest. Don’t fret though, these Tutarins are total genetic experts. I’m going to ask about some new leg genes for you!”
Earnest: “My legs are FINE! I hope we never see each other again, you gormless urchin!”
Doog: “So, what type of research goes on here? Are we splicing Parva DNA into other species? Making super-smart soldiers? What?”
Mara: “I can not go into the specifics of any project, but we are researching the Parva’s genetic memory from multiple angles. In this section of the lab, we are studying how exactly genetic memory works.”
Mara: “I can not go into the specifics of any project, but we are researching the Parva’s genetic memory from multiple angles. In this section of the lab, we are studying how exactly genetic memory works.”
Mara: “We know that almost all species exhibit some form of genetic memory. That’s how newborns know how to breathe, eat, cry, and move – basic survival instincts encoded into their DNA. We also know that newborns are preprogrammed with certain fears, like heights, predators, storms, et cetera. We believe these ‘instincts’ were programmed into DNA over long periods of time. However, nothing in this galaxy approaches the speed and comprehensiveness of Parva genetic memory.”
Doog: “So, it’s my parents’ fault that I’m scared of spiders, insects, alien spiders, alien insects, and, oh yeah, commitment?”
Mara: “Perhaps some of those. I haven’t evaluated you personally…but, we’re getting off topic. Our goal, in this part of Omniscient Tower, is to understand the instantaneous encodement of memory into DNA.”
Doog: “How does one do that thing with the big words that you just said?”
Mara: “We have several methods being utilized in dozens of labs. In some labs, like this, we focus on biology. The Parva seem to have two brains. A larger brain in their skulls and a smaller reproductive brain that we believe does the genetic coding. We study both brains here.”
Doog: “Brings new meaning to the old saying, ‘think with your big head over your little head’.”
Mara: “Um, yes. I suppose. In other biology labs, we study other important parts of the Parva’s anatomy, like: DNA structure, sex cells, embryonic development, egg creation, and so on.”
Doog: “So, it’s my parents’ fault that I’m scared of spiders, insects, alien spiders, alien insects, and, oh yeah, commitment?”
Mara: “Perhaps some of those. I haven’t evaluated you personally…but, we’re getting off topic. Our goal, in this part of Omniscient Tower, is to understand the instantaneous encodement of memory into DNA.”
Doog: “How does one do that thing with the big words that you just said?”
Mara: “We have several methods being utilized in dozens of labs. In some labs, like this, we focus on biology. The Parva seem to have two brains. A larger brain in their skulls and a smaller reproductive brain that we believe does the genetic coding. We study both brains here.”
Doog: “Brings new meaning to the old saying, ‘think with your big head over your little head’.”
Mara: “Um, yes. I suppose. In other biology labs, we study other important parts of the Parva’s anatomy, like: DNA structure, sex cells, embryonic development, egg creation, and so on.”
Mara: “In the information labs, we study Parva learning.”
Doog: “How?”
Mara: “We insert genetic markers in samples taken before a lesson, and then compare differences after lessons. This allows us to see how information is encoded into their DNA, how it is stored, and how complex the new DNA becomes. This allows us to ask stuff like – is there a limit to genetic memory? Does too much information harm the Parva? Does too much information corrupt the DNA? This is important because the Parva have not advanced very much over the millennia despite having genetic memory. Maybe, they can’t handle it biologically.”
Doog “What did you find?”
Mara: “While in its infancy, our research does not seem to indicate any limit to their memory.”
Doog: “How?”
Mara: “We insert genetic markers in samples taken before a lesson, and then compare differences after lessons. This allows us to see how information is encoded into their DNA, how it is stored, and how complex the new DNA becomes. This allows us to ask stuff like – is there a limit to genetic memory? Does too much information harm the Parva? Does too much information corrupt the DNA? This is important because the Parva have not advanced very much over the millennia despite having genetic memory. Maybe, they can’t handle it biologically.”
Doog “What did you find?”
Mara: “While in its infancy, our research does not seem to indicate any limit to their memory.”
Mara: “That brings us to the final part of Project Omniscient. While we can’t recreate their genetic memory across species…yet…we seem to be able to push their abilities to the max. This high security area of the tower is home to the genius prisons.”
Doog: “Genius prisons?”
Mara: “Yes, highly educated subjects forcefully bred with other highly educated subjects. Come inside.”
Doog: “Genius prisons?”
Mara: “Yes, highly educated subjects forcefully bred with other highly educated subjects. Come inside.”
Mara: “Subjects, like this, are geniuses in the truest sense. They are the fourth generation in our experiment. They have the knowledge of all their forebearers, but more importantly, their LIU-educated great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents. They are experts in physics, math, chemistry, biology, literature, history, and geography.”
Doog: “Wow.”
Mara: “And, that’s without being formally educated yet. These subjects are only a few months old. They too will eventually be taught and bred. Their offspring will be twice as smart.”
Doog: “Pretty cool…and creepy. I understand the security now. These geniuses could ‘infect’ the rest of the population with mass amounts of information, if they ever escaped.”
Mara: “Yes. Hence, the prisons.”
Doog: “Ah, I get it now. That’s why even Earnest was armed.”
Mara: “We can take no chances.”
Doog: “I see. What’s the endgame of all of this? What is the ultimate goal?”
Mara: “The ultimate goal is to selectively share this genetic gift with citizens of the LIU. We could eliminate schooling, job training, military training, and so much more. Until then, our goal is to use the genius Parva for science and technology advancements and…as information storage.”
Doog: “Information storage?”
Mara: “They are, essentially, biological hard drives.”
Doog: “Ok. Wow. That’s kind of bizarre.”
Mara: “Is it? Given their gifts, they are basically information storage devices. Once we find out how to extract information from them at will, the Parva could replace more expensive technological hard drives.”
Doog: “Wow.”
Mara: “And, that’s without being formally educated yet. These subjects are only a few months old. They too will eventually be taught and bred. Their offspring will be twice as smart.”
Doog: “Pretty cool…and creepy. I understand the security now. These geniuses could ‘infect’ the rest of the population with mass amounts of information, if they ever escaped.”
Mara: “Yes. Hence, the prisons.”
Doog: “Ah, I get it now. That’s why even Earnest was armed.”
Mara: “We can take no chances.”
Doog: “I see. What’s the endgame of all of this? What is the ultimate goal?”
Mara: “The ultimate goal is to selectively share this genetic gift with citizens of the LIU. We could eliminate schooling, job training, military training, and so much more. Until then, our goal is to use the genius Parva for science and technology advancements and…as information storage.”
Doog: “Information storage?”
Mara: “They are, essentially, biological hard drives.”
Doog: “Ok. Wow. That’s kind of bizarre.”
Mara: “Is it? Given their gifts, they are basically information storage devices. Once we find out how to extract information from them at will, the Parva could replace more expensive technological hard drives.”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s not where I saw this going. Parvulus is home to a unique sentient species called the Parva. The Parva possess genetic memory – AKA, they are born with all the knowledge of their parents. The Parva haven’t taken advantage of this gift, living a simple, primitive life. Unfortunately for the Parva, the LIU is involved now, and their genetic memory is being put to the test. The LIU is attempting to utilize their gift to create super-intelligent Parva, while also attempting to unravel the biological processes, so it can be integrated to other species. I’m not sure my offspring want my memories, but what do I know? Oh, well. See ya!”
Note: The Parva species was not always this peaceful, and that’s why the still have protective/soldier castes. The introduction of nuptial trades eliminated most violent actions, because a common goal was discovered between tribes. Despite being mostly peaceful these days, most Parva continue to pass on genetic information regarding soldiery and self-defense.
Note: The Parva species was not always this peaceful, and that’s why the still have protective/soldier castes. The introduction of nuptial trades eliminated most violent actions, because a common goal was discovered between tribes. Despite being mostly peaceful these days, most Parva continue to pass on genetic information regarding soldiery and self-defense.
