There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Bannus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting Bannus. Bannus is a planet in the galaxy’s Inner Rim known for its export of large, slow-growing fruits called Glaeba. These nutritious fruits take between five to seven years to mature, and – only then – can they be cultivated. To ensure steady production, the collection of these high-maintenance fruits must be regulated. One of these regulations essentially prohibits the natives from accessing the plants without LIU approval. This has made for an interesting living situation on Bannus. Let’s head down and learn more.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off in a city called Gecekondu. This large city sits in the hillsides just east of a Glaeba field. From the air, this walled-city essentially looks like a prison. I’m pretty sure that was intentional. The LIU must strictly control access to the Glaeba production.”
Doog: “Unfortunately, I have in-depth knowledge of LIU prisons, but this is my first time in a ‘prison city’. I don’t really know if it’s called that, but it certainly looks like one. Everything is rundown, and the buildings look decrepit. It’s almost like the residents here decided to live in a junkyard. There are small dilapidated buildings everywhere…some even look like converted shipping containers. The ‘houses’ are stacked on top of each other with little regard for any building codes. Gecekondu is more like a prison slum than an agricultural city. I better keep my head on a swivel and my wallet in my front pocket. I should probably find a shiv as soon as possible.”
Cleric: “Grace and wonder, visitor.”
Doog: “You can’t rob me! Well, mostly because I have zero credits, but you’re not getting my coupon for a free Kaadu steak! My wallet’s in my front pocket by my junk, so ha!”
Cleric: “Oh my, friend. Whatever do you mean?”
Doog: “You’re not mugging me?”
Cleric: “Of course not.”
Doog: “Oh…this is awkward. I just assumed the worse because of my surroundings.”
Cleric: “Bannus is nearly crime free. The flock adheres to the teachings. You are safe.”
Doog: “Oh. I see. Are you, like, some type of priest?”
Cleric: “I am a cleric. We are the guidance, the moderation, and the sustenance.”
Doog: “What should I call you?”
Cleric: “Upon donning the cloak, I forsook any identity. You may refer to me as Cleric – as you would my brethren.”
Doog: “Kleenex. Got it.”
Cleric: “It’s Cleric, actually.”
Doog: “Close enough. You don’t care about your identity anyway, right? I’m Doog, by the way.”
Doog: “You can’t rob me! Well, mostly because I have zero credits, but you’re not getting my coupon for a free Kaadu steak! My wallet’s in my front pocket by my junk, so ha!”
Cleric: “Oh my, friend. Whatever do you mean?”
Doog: “You’re not mugging me?”
Cleric: “Of course not.”
Doog: “Oh…this is awkward. I just assumed the worse because of my surroundings.”
Cleric: “Bannus is nearly crime free. The flock adheres to the teachings. You are safe.”
Doog: “Oh. I see. Are you, like, some type of priest?”
Cleric: “I am a cleric. We are the guidance, the moderation, and the sustenance.”
Doog: “What should I call you?”
Cleric: “Upon donning the cloak, I forsook any identity. You may refer to me as Cleric – as you would my brethren.”
Doog: “Kleenex. Got it.”
Cleric: “It’s Cleric, actually.”
Doog: “Close enough. You don’t care about your identity anyway, right? I’m Doog, by the way.”
Doog: “So, am I right in guessing that this place is a prison?”
Cleric: “You are not.”
Doog: “What’s up with the walls around the entire city, then?”
Cleric: “Deterrents against spiritual failings. My flock is not perfect. No one is.”
Doog: “What does that even mean?”
Cleric: “Perhaps I can explain if I start from the beginning.”
Doog: “I guess that’s possible. Try to keep it quick, though. Don’t be afraid to throw in some humor and leave me plenty of opportunities to interject some useless statements or two-word questions. I have parameters to meet or I don’t get paid.”
Cleric: “I’ll try.”
Doog: “Great.”
Cleric: “My people have survived on Glaeba for time untold. The generously large fruits easily fed our small nomadic populations. New plants had time to mature between our wanderings and its regulation was never an issue. However, things changed upon the LIU’s arrival decades ago.”
Doog: “They always do.”
Cleric: “You are not.”
Doog: “What’s up with the walls around the entire city, then?”
Cleric: “Deterrents against spiritual failings. My flock is not perfect. No one is.”
Doog: “What does that even mean?”
Cleric: “Perhaps I can explain if I start from the beginning.”
Doog: “I guess that’s possible. Try to keep it quick, though. Don’t be afraid to throw in some humor and leave me plenty of opportunities to interject some useless statements or two-word questions. I have parameters to meet or I don’t get paid.”
Cleric: “I’ll try.”
Doog: “Great.”
Cleric: “My people have survived on Glaeba for time untold. The generously large fruits easily fed our small nomadic populations. New plants had time to mature between our wanderings and its regulation was never an issue. However, things changed upon the LIU’s arrival decades ago.”
Doog: “They always do.”
Cleric: “The LIU saw value in the fruit, and wanted to mass produce it. However, that would require many changes.”
Doog: “Like what?”
Cleric: “The fertile grounds where Glaeba thrived were converted into plantations. Competing species were eliminated, and the largest threat to production was eliminated.”
Doog: “Your people?”
Cleric: “Yes. My nomadic people were settled into static towns like Gecekondu. We would no longer roam the lush Glaeba environment.”
Doog: “That’s where the walls came in. Right?”
Cleric: “Not immediately. My people were needed for harvesting. The LIU paid them to reap the harvest, but also paid them yearly sums, if they allowed the Glaeba to mature another full cycle.”
Doog: “That sounds like a good deal. You get paid to work and then you get paid not to work. In fact, I WANT that deal!”
Cleric: “In theory, it sounds good, but the LIU paid little in between fruitages. It forced my people to pinch-credits between harvests. The troubles it caused also started our new religion, the Collective.”
Doog: “The Collective?”
Cleric: “The credits given in between harvests are collected or pooled by the clergy. With large sums of money and greater bargaining power, the clergy could secure resources easier. We made a guide that helps us moderate resources and provide sustenance to all. Guidance, moderation, and sustenance – the Collective.”
Doog: “That worked?”
Doog: “Like what?”
Cleric: “The fertile grounds where Glaeba thrived were converted into plantations. Competing species were eliminated, and the largest threat to production was eliminated.”
Doog: “Your people?”
Cleric: “Yes. My nomadic people were settled into static towns like Gecekondu. We would no longer roam the lush Glaeba environment.”
Doog: “That’s where the walls came in. Right?”
Cleric: “Not immediately. My people were needed for harvesting. The LIU paid them to reap the harvest, but also paid them yearly sums, if they allowed the Glaeba to mature another full cycle.”
Doog: “That sounds like a good deal. You get paid to work and then you get paid not to work. In fact, I WANT that deal!”
Cleric: “In theory, it sounds good, but the LIU paid little in between fruitages. It forced my people to pinch-credits between harvests. The troubles it caused also started our new religion, the Collective.”
Doog: “The Collective?”
Cleric: “The credits given in between harvests are collected or pooled by the clergy. With large sums of money and greater bargaining power, the clergy could secure resources easier. We made a guide that helps us moderate resources and provide sustenance to all. Guidance, moderation, and sustenance – the Collective.”
Doog: “That worked?”
Cleric: “It did. No one starves on Bannus. Kitchens, spread throughout the city, feed the masses. It doesn’t matter if the season lasts five years or seven, my people eat.”
Doog: “Eat what?”
Cleric: “A nourishing stew of weeds and supplements.”
Doog: “Weeds?”
Cleric: “Unwanted greenery removed from the Glaeba fields.”
Doog: “Ew. Couldn’t you collectively afford some steaks or something?”
Cleric: “No. Especially since the saved credits fund other social programs like schools and healthcare.”
Doog: “I rather remain uneducated and sick than eat green slop.”
Cleric: “Some of the flock agreed with you. They began to sin. They dipped into the Glaeba harvest.”
Doog: “That’s when the walls came in?”
Cleric: “Yes. The unfaithful would never be tempted again.”
Doog: “Eat what?”
Cleric: “A nourishing stew of weeds and supplements.”
Doog: “Weeds?”
Cleric: “Unwanted greenery removed from the Glaeba fields.”
Doog: “Ew. Couldn’t you collectively afford some steaks or something?”
Cleric: “No. Especially since the saved credits fund other social programs like schools and healthcare.”
Doog: “I rather remain uneducated and sick than eat green slop.”
Cleric: “Some of the flock agreed with you. They began to sin. They dipped into the Glaeba harvest.”
Doog: “That’s when the walls came in?”
Cleric: “Yes. The unfaithful would never be tempted again.”
Cleric: “Didn’t you just insult the stew? Why are you eating it?”
Doog: “Free is free.”
Cleric: “It’s free for collective members only.”
Doog: “Oh, well take it back then. It tastes like someone scraped the underside of a hover-mower’s blade deck. I don’t want it anyway. Worst soup ever!”
Doog: “Free is free.”
Cleric: “It’s free for collective members only.”
Doog: “Oh, well take it back then. It tastes like someone scraped the underside of a hover-mower’s blade deck. I don’t want it anyway. Worst soup ever!”
Doog: “One question remains, I guess. Where is all this junk coming from? Did your collective buy bulk trash?”
Cleric: “We’ve already covered the sustenance portion of the Collective.”
Doog: “The kitchens.”
Cleric: “Yes. This ‘junk’ – as you call it – is part of the moderation tenet.”
Doog: “Moderation? You moderately take things to the scrapyard? I don’t get it.”
Cleric: “No, the moderation tenet revolves around resourcefulness and frugality. Nothing can be wasted. There is use in all things.”
Doog: “You guys repurpose waste into homes and stuff?”
Cleric: “Exactly. By utilizing free, abandoned leftovers to make homes, clothes, and tools, we can save more money for food and social programs.”
Doog: “I see. Where did all this junk – or valuable resources – come from?”
Cleric: “The LIU left behind tons of waste after terraforming the Glaeba fields. Equipment, parts, shipping containers, and so on were abandoned here. Our people recover these neglected items and recycle them.”
Cleric: “We’ve already covered the sustenance portion of the Collective.”
Doog: “The kitchens.”
Cleric: “Yes. This ‘junk’ – as you call it – is part of the moderation tenet.”
Doog: “Moderation? You moderately take things to the scrapyard? I don’t get it.”
Cleric: “No, the moderation tenet revolves around resourcefulness and frugality. Nothing can be wasted. There is use in all things.”
Doog: “You guys repurpose waste into homes and stuff?”
Cleric: “Exactly. By utilizing free, abandoned leftovers to make homes, clothes, and tools, we can save more money for food and social programs.”
Doog: “I see. Where did all this junk – or valuable resources – come from?”
Cleric: “The LIU left behind tons of waste after terraforming the Glaeba fields. Equipment, parts, shipping containers, and so on were abandoned here. Our people recover these neglected items and recycle them.”
Doog: “There’s a lot of off-worlders in this section of the town.”
Cleric: “Junkers and scrappers. They come here to find valuable parts for cheap.”
Doog: “You guys sell some of the trash?”
Cleric: “Yes. It’s the only thing keeping the coffers full these days. Automation has eaten into our harvest funds.”
Doog: “Wait…what?”
Cleric: “The LIU slowly replaced our labor with automated harvesting machines. We're no longer involved in the harvest.”
Doog: “How are you guys surviving!? Isn’t that like most of your credits?!”
Cleric: “Junkers and scrappers. They come here to find valuable parts for cheap.”
Doog: “You guys sell some of the trash?”
Cleric: “Yes. It’s the only thing keeping the coffers full these days. Automation has eaten into our harvest funds.”
Doog: “Wait…what?”
Cleric: “The LIU slowly replaced our labor with automated harvesting machines. We're no longer involved in the harvest.”
Doog: “How are you guys surviving!? Isn’t that like most of your credits?!”
Cleric: “It has been a challenge, but we make due. The LIU still pays us to stay out of the fields, and there’s plenty to scrap in the old automation factories.”
Doog: “What if they stop paying you to stay out of the fields? Or the junk runs out?”
Cleric: “The junk will eventually run out. This much is true. However, it is unlikely the LIU would ever suspend the between-harvest payments.”
Doog: “What makes you so sure? They could stop giving out money at any point.”
Cleric: “They could, but it wouldn’t be profitable. The starving masses of Gecekondu would breach the walls. We are, after all, resourceful. The loss of crops would be huge. Not to mention the military costs of getting the situation back under control. It’s cheaper to make the payments.”
Doog: “Perhaps. So, what am I looking at here? Some type of church or a big kitchen?”
Doog: “What if they stop paying you to stay out of the fields? Or the junk runs out?”
Cleric: “The junk will eventually run out. This much is true. However, it is unlikely the LIU would ever suspend the between-harvest payments.”
Doog: “What makes you so sure? They could stop giving out money at any point.”
Cleric: “They could, but it wouldn’t be profitable. The starving masses of Gecekondu would breach the walls. We are, after all, resourceful. The loss of crops would be huge. Not to mention the military costs of getting the situation back under control. It’s cheaper to make the payments.”
Doog: “Perhaps. So, what am I looking at here? Some type of church or a big kitchen?”
Cleric: “A holy site, but not a church. It is not resourceful to waste time worshipping at a specific place. That would violate the moderation tenet. Our religion does not require attendance.”
Doog: “I see. Why is it holy, then?”
Cleric: “Temples like these are gateways in the walls. You can access the fields from within.”
Doog: “Whoa. What’s stopping your people from escaping to the Glaeba fields?”
Cleric: “Moderation and self-control.”
Doog: “Yeah, yeah. That tenet again.”
Cleric: “Yes, but also the first tenet – guidance. Temples house many clerics. Our presence and guidance deter anyone from exiting.”
Doog: “Don’t be bad in front of the teachers type-of-thing.”
Cleric: “I suppose. Well, are you ready to see the fields?”
Doog: “What! We can enter the fields!?”
Cleric: “The years of devoted moderation it takes to become a Cleric has given us leeway with the LIU. We are trusted.”
Doog: “What about me? I know the LIU doesn’t trust me.”
Cleric: “You may proceed under my guidance. Don’t touch anything.”
Doog: “Got it.”
Doog: “I see. Why is it holy, then?”
Cleric: “Temples like these are gateways in the walls. You can access the fields from within.”
Doog: “Whoa. What’s stopping your people from escaping to the Glaeba fields?”
Cleric: “Moderation and self-control.”
Doog: “Yeah, yeah. That tenet again.”
Cleric: “Yes, but also the first tenet – guidance. Temples house many clerics. Our presence and guidance deter anyone from exiting.”
Doog: “Don’t be bad in front of the teachers type-of-thing.”
Cleric: “I suppose. Well, are you ready to see the fields?”
Doog: “What! We can enter the fields!?”
Cleric: “The years of devoted moderation it takes to become a Cleric has given us leeway with the LIU. We are trusted.”
Doog: “What about me? I know the LIU doesn’t trust me.”
Cleric: “You may proceed under my guidance. Don’t touch anything.”
Doog: “Got it.”
Doog: “So, these are the fruits that cause all the chaos here. To be honest, they don’t look like much.”
Cleric: “This yield is young. From experience, I’d guess they were two years old. They have many more cycles before they are mature. They will triple in size and darken to a rich olive color by the time they are harvested.”
Doog: “Hmm. I wonder how they taste.”
Cleric: “It has been decades since I have tasted them, but I remember their taste like it was yesterday. They are gracefully tart, chalky, and astringent with a wonderful sweet aftertaste. Grace and wonder.”
Doog: “Hey, that’s the greeting you used earlier.”
Cleric: “An homage to the past.”
Cleric: “This yield is young. From experience, I’d guess they were two years old. They have many more cycles before they are mature. They will triple in size and darken to a rich olive color by the time they are harvested.”
Doog: “Hmm. I wonder how they taste.”
Cleric: “It has been decades since I have tasted them, but I remember their taste like it was yesterday. They are gracefully tart, chalky, and astringent with a wonderful sweet aftertaste. Grace and wonder.”
Doog: “Hey, that’s the greeting you used earlier.”
Cleric: “An homage to the past.”
Doog: “This must be one of the automated harvesters.”
Cleric: “Yes. One of millions on Bannus.”
Doog: “Why are there harvesters out here when the Glaeba have years to mature?”
Cleric: “The robots are programmed to complete many tasks during the off-season, like pruning and removing diseased fruits. They also weed the fields to remove competing species.”
Doog: “Do these weeds go into that nasty weed stew you guys make?”
Cleric: “Yes.”
Doog: “So, the LIU pays you not to work, but you pay the LIU for its weed scraps?”
Cleric: “A large portion of the payment is returned to the LIU for sustenance. Yes.”
Doog: “You’re right, I don’t see the LIU stopping that payment anytime soon. They’re raking you guys over the coals.”
Cleric: “We are modest in our survival.”
Doog: “You’re something, alright.”
Cleric: “Yes. One of millions on Bannus.”
Doog: “Why are there harvesters out here when the Glaeba have years to mature?”
Cleric: “The robots are programmed to complete many tasks during the off-season, like pruning and removing diseased fruits. They also weed the fields to remove competing species.”
Doog: “Do these weeds go into that nasty weed stew you guys make?”
Cleric: “Yes.”
Doog: “So, the LIU pays you not to work, but you pay the LIU for its weed scraps?”
Cleric: “A large portion of the payment is returned to the LIU for sustenance. Yes.”
Doog: “You’re right, I don’t see the LIU stopping that payment anytime soon. They’re raking you guys over the coals.”
Cleric: “We are modest in our survival.”
Doog: “You’re something, alright.”
Doog: “Holy Emperor! That’s one heck of a harvester.”
Cleric: “The newest model, it was introduced a few years ago.”
Doog: “What can a twenty-foot-tall robot with four five-foot razor claws harvest? How big do these fruits get? Unless, it’s not for harvesting at all.”
Cleric: “What do you mean?”
Doog: “It looks armored and has spikes on its limbs.”
Cleric: “What are you inferring?”
Doog: “It’s just a conspiracy theory – and I’m often wrong – but, the between-harvest money might be coming to an end. These ‘harvesters’ are here for the eventual wall breaches.”
Cleric: “Blasphemy. The LIU would never.”
Doog: “They would. How many of these new harvesters were made?”
Cleric: “I will not answer such an irreverent question! You are banished from Gecekondu! Stay away from me. We will speak no longer!”
Doog: “Aren’t you supposed to be my guidance?”
Cleric: “The newest model, it was introduced a few years ago.”
Doog: “What can a twenty-foot-tall robot with four five-foot razor claws harvest? How big do these fruits get? Unless, it’s not for harvesting at all.”
Cleric: “What do you mean?”
Doog: “It looks armored and has spikes on its limbs.”
Cleric: “What are you inferring?”
Doog: “It’s just a conspiracy theory – and I’m often wrong – but, the between-harvest money might be coming to an end. These ‘harvesters’ are here for the eventual wall breaches.”
Cleric: “Blasphemy. The LIU would never.”
Doog: “They would. How many of these new harvesters were made?”
Cleric: “I will not answer such an irreverent question! You are banished from Gecekondu! Stay away from me. We will speak no longer!”
Doog: “Aren’t you supposed to be my guidance?”
Doog: “Well folks, I don’t think he’s coming back. How can I wrap up Bannus? Let’s see. There’s a slow-growing fruit here called Glaeba. To maximize the harvest, the LIU wrangled up the native Bannu and stuffed them into walled cities. They once paid the Bannu as harvesters, but robots stole their jobs. Their only ‘steady’ source of income comes from the LIU in the form of ‘between-harvest’ payments – a bribe to stay out of the Glaeba fields. They also make money sifting through abandoned LIU junk, but we all know that won’t last. Oh well, see ya!”
Note:
To: The Office of Magistrates
From: LIU Information Control
Reference: LIU Atlas – Bannus
Dejected TV reporter Terrance McDoogal might have caused image issues in his latest TV segment. McDoogal conjectured that the Mark II Defense Bots were not harvesters, but some type of genocidal death squad. This is untrue.
The Mark II’s are a rudimentary defense force protecting assets in the event that the LIU staffed clergy is ever exposed.
Cleric Jared Johnson feigned ignorance and disgust at McDoogal’s claim. With his rebuttal and McDoogal’s record of ineptitude, we believe his claims will be ignored. However, in an abundance of caution, we ask that the honorable Magistrates monitor all channels for the keywords: Bannus, genocide, false, clergy, tenets, religious, control, and hotdogs. (Hotdogs was an AI recommendation, we are unsure of its meaning.)
Thanks,
LIU Information Control Officer #00G044062
Note:
To: The Office of Magistrates
From: LIU Information Control
Reference: LIU Atlas – Bannus
Dejected TV reporter Terrance McDoogal might have caused image issues in his latest TV segment. McDoogal conjectured that the Mark II Defense Bots were not harvesters, but some type of genocidal death squad. This is untrue.
The Mark II’s are a rudimentary defense force protecting assets in the event that the LIU staffed clergy is ever exposed.
Cleric Jared Johnson feigned ignorance and disgust at McDoogal’s claim. With his rebuttal and McDoogal’s record of ineptitude, we believe his claims will be ignored. However, in an abundance of caution, we ask that the honorable Magistrates monitor all channels for the keywords: Bannus, genocide, false, clergy, tenets, religious, control, and hotdogs. (Hotdogs was an AI recommendation, we are unsure of its meaning.)
Thanks,
LIU Information Control Officer #00G044062
