There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Fistula
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to Season 16 of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Fistula. Fistula and its star system sit just outside of a stellar remnant called the Durina Nebula. Fistula’s single, large continent is almost entirely desert, but there are a few less arid islands surrounding it. The dryness of the continent is mostly caused by the high mountain chain surrounding it. A race of beings, called the Umbachi, manage to live in the small coastal areas – between the sea and the mountains. Let’s head down and check them out.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off in a small, coastal village. There are simple buildings, structures, and docks, but there are also signs of the LIU’s influence – like this landing pad and the large pipe just behind me. I wonder what that’s all about.”
Senryu: “Are you that TV guy, Doog?”
Doog: “I am. Are you here to rob me?”
Senryu: “Rob you? No! I’m Senryu, your guide.”
Doog: “What’s up with the gun then?”
Senryu: “The LIU hired a few of us villagers to run the space port and escort their workers. They gave us these guns to protect their equipment and the port.”
Doog: “I see. So, the LIU only hired a few of you?”
Doog: “I am. Are you here to rob me?”
Senryu: “Rob you? No! I’m Senryu, your guide.”
Doog: “What’s up with the gun then?”
Senryu: “The LIU hired a few of us villagers to run the space port and escort their workers. They gave us these guns to protect their equipment and the port.”
Doog: “I see. So, the LIU only hired a few of you?”
Senryu: “Yes. Most villagers carry on with the old ways. They didn’t want our help with their pipeline project.”
Doog: “What are these old ways?”
Senryu: “Fishing…the only thing there is to do on Fistula.”
Doog: “I forgot that most of this planet is lifeless desert.”
Senryu: “Yes. The sea provides all.”
Doog: “What about water?”
Doog: “What are these old ways?”
Senryu: “Fishing…the only thing there is to do on Fistula.”
Doog: “I forgot that most of this planet is lifeless desert.”
Senryu: “Yes. The sea provides all.”
Doog: “What about water?”
Senryu: “The sea also provides water. Ocean currents blow warm air towards the coasts, but it can’t make it over the mountains. Instead, these warm breezes turn into fog when met with the cold mountain air.”
Doog: “You get your water from fog?”
Senryu: “Yes. The fog condenses on special glass collectors.”
Doog: “That’s smart.”
Oryol: “We gets the good ol clean water rights here.”
Doog: “That guy…not so much.”
Doog: “You get your water from fog?”
Senryu: “Yes. The fog condenses on special glass collectors.”
Doog: “That’s smart.”
Oryol: “We gets the good ol clean water rights here.”
Doog: “That guy…not so much.”
Doog: “I guess the only other thing we need to figure out is the pipeline.”
Senryu: “There’s not much mystery to it. It collects water from the ocean and pumps into the continent’s interior.”
Doog: “Yeah, but what for? Is the LIU making the desert farmable or inhabitable?”
Senryu: “Well, that’s salt water. I’m no expert, but I don’t think that would help with farming or living. To be honest, I’ve been to the site several times, and I still don’t know what they’re doing.”
Doog: “You’ve been to the site?”
Senryu: “Yeah, like I said, one of my jobs is to escort workers from the port to the site. Want me to take you?”
Doog: “Sure. This show can’t just be about fog, deserts, and fishing.”
Senryu: “There’s not much mystery to it. It collects water from the ocean and pumps into the continent’s interior.”
Doog: “Yeah, but what for? Is the LIU making the desert farmable or inhabitable?”
Senryu: “Well, that’s salt water. I’m no expert, but I don’t think that would help with farming or living. To be honest, I’ve been to the site several times, and I still don’t know what they’re doing.”
Doog: “You’ve been to the site?”
Senryu: “Yeah, like I said, one of my jobs is to escort workers from the port to the site. Want me to take you?”
Doog: “Sure. This show can’t just be about fog, deserts, and fishing.”
Senryu: “Onryo, we’re making a tunnel run. You’re with us.”
Onryo: “Got it.”
Senryu: “Sigh, you’re coming too, Oryol. Bring some water for our journey.”
Oryol: “Ooh yeah! Isa goin to make you reals proud, boss.”
Doog: “Do we really want to bring this guy?”
Senryu: “No, but we need a grunt. It’s a bit of a trek.”
Doog: “Wait…what? How far are we talking?”
Senryu: “Several miles. It’s a tunnel through a mountain.”
Doog: “What! Is it too late to cancel? I’m sure we can find out more about that fog water business.”
Onryo: “Got it.”
Senryu: “Sigh, you’re coming too, Oryol. Bring some water for our journey.”
Oryol: “Ooh yeah! Isa goin to make you reals proud, boss.”
Doog: “Do we really want to bring this guy?”
Senryu: “No, but we need a grunt. It’s a bit of a trek.”
Doog: “Wait…what? How far are we talking?”
Senryu: “Several miles. It’s a tunnel through a mountain.”
Doog: “What! Is it too late to cancel? I’m sure we can find out more about that fog water business.”
Doog: “You warned me about the distance, but told me nothing about the boredom. It’s just miles and miles of pipe and pumping stations.”
Senryu: “What can I say? It’s a tunnel that get workers from point A to point B. It also allows the pipeline to be serviced if needed. Also, I hate to break it to you, but we haven’t even gone a mile yet.”
Doog: “Ugh!”
Senryu: “Besides, the tunnels are not that boring.”
Doog: “What do you mean?”
Senryu: “There are creatures here.”
Doog: “In the tunnel?”
Senryu: “Yep. Big, blobby mollusks we call Ugnos. They usually live in moist caves along the coast, but they took a liking to these tunnels. Probably because of the condensation on the pipeline.”
Senryu: “What can I say? It’s a tunnel that get workers from point A to point B. It also allows the pipeline to be serviced if needed. Also, I hate to break it to you, but we haven’t even gone a mile yet.”
Doog: “Ugh!”
Senryu: “Besides, the tunnels are not that boring.”
Doog: “What do you mean?”
Senryu: “There are creatures here.”
Doog: “In the tunnel?”
Senryu: “Yep. Big, blobby mollusks we call Ugnos. They usually live in moist caves along the coast, but they took a liking to these tunnels. Probably because of the condensation on the pipeline.”
Senryu: “Ask and you shall receive.”
Doog: “I get the name now – ugly and no thanks. Ugnos.”
Senryu: “No thanks, indeed. They can deliver a nasty bite. Luckily, they’re not much of a problem with our LIU rifles. Onryo, prepare to fire.”
BOOM! BOOM!
Doog: “Yikes! Let a guy hold his ears before you fire inside a little tunnel!”
Doog: “I get the name now – ugly and no thanks. Ugnos.”
Senryu: “No thanks, indeed. They can deliver a nasty bite. Luckily, they’re not much of a problem with our LIU rifles. Onryo, prepare to fire.”
BOOM! BOOM!
Doog: “Yikes! Let a guy hold his ears before you fire inside a little tunnel!”
Oryol: “You got em, bosses! We be drinking good tonight!”
Doog: “Drinking good? Is this guy that dumb or are you guys really going to drink these disgusting things?”
Senryu: “Their blood and stomachs hold a good bit of water. It’s a nice supplement to the fog water.”
Doog: “Gross.”
Senryu: “It was once an occasional delicacy, as the Ugnos were hard to access in their caves. Now, we capture a few a week in the tunnel.”
Doog: “How are they even getting in here?”
Senryu: “Their blobby bodies can squeeze through the smallest cracks.”
Doog: “Barf.”
Doog: “Drinking good? Is this guy that dumb or are you guys really going to drink these disgusting things?”
Senryu: “Their blood and stomachs hold a good bit of water. It’s a nice supplement to the fog water.”
Doog: “Gross.”
Senryu: “It was once an occasional delicacy, as the Ugnos were hard to access in their caves. Now, we capture a few a week in the tunnel.”
Doog: “How are they even getting in here?”
Senryu: “Their blobby bodies can squeeze through the smallest cracks.”
Doog: “Barf.”
Doog: “I’ve never been so glad to get out of a tunnel!”
Senryu: “I’m sure Onryo agrees. He’s never had to give a ‘piggyback’ – as you called it – to an escort before.”
Doog: “Yeah, thanks for that. That last mile was going to kill me. So, what are we looking at here?”
Senryu: “I’m sure Onryo agrees. He’s never had to give a ‘piggyback’ – as you called it – to an escort before.”
Doog: “Yeah, thanks for that. That last mile was going to kill me. So, what are we looking at here?”
Senryu: “I’m not sure. This is where my usefulness ends. Good luck, Doog.”
Doog: “You’re leaving me here? How will I get back?!”
Senryu: “The tunnel is cleared of Ugnos for now. You’ll be ok walking back alone. Besides, hydration awaits us. Oryol will be arriving back at our village with our spoils anytime now. We don’t want to miss it.”
Doog: “I don’t care about those blobs! I need a someone to piggyback me!”
Senryu: “Sigh.”
Doog: “You’re leaving me here? How will I get back?!”
Senryu: “The tunnel is cleared of Ugnos for now. You’ll be ok walking back alone. Besides, hydration awaits us. Oryol will be arriving back at our village with our spoils anytime now. We don’t want to miss it.”
Doog: “I don’t care about those blobs! I need a someone to piggyback me!”
Senryu: “Sigh.”
Gladys: “You must be that Doog, fella.”
Doog: “I am.”
Gladys: “I’m forelady Gladys. Happy you survived the trip.”
Doog: “Yeah…thanks. So, what’s happening here?”
Gladys: “What does it look like?”
Doog: “You’re making pink, cotton-candy ice-cream from the piped in seawater?”
Gladys: “What?! No!”
Doog: “I am.”
Gladys: “I’m forelady Gladys. Happy you survived the trip.”
Doog: “Yeah…thanks. So, what’s happening here?”
Gladys: “What does it look like?”
Doog: “You’re making pink, cotton-candy ice-cream from the piped in seawater?”
Gladys: “What?! No!”
Gladys: “These are evaporation ponds.”
Doog: “Evaporation ponds?”
Gladys: “Yeah. We pump seawater into these little pools and wait for the water to evaporate. All that’s left is the minerals. Salt mostly.”
Doog: “Why are they various shades of pink?”
Gladys: “Halophiles.”
Doog: “Hey! My breath should be good now!”
Gladys: “Not halitosis, halophiles – bacteria that eats salt.”
Doog: “Oh.”
Gladys: “As the water evaporates, the halophiles get more and more condensed.”
Doog: “So the darker pools are closer to being fully evaporated.”
Gladys: “Exactly.”
Doog: “Evaporation ponds?”
Gladys: “Yeah. We pump seawater into these little pools and wait for the water to evaporate. All that’s left is the minerals. Salt mostly.”
Doog: “Why are they various shades of pink?”
Gladys: “Halophiles.”
Doog: “Hey! My breath should be good now!”
Gladys: “Not halitosis, halophiles – bacteria that eats salt.”
Doog: “Oh.”
Gladys: “As the water evaporates, the halophiles get more and more condensed.”
Doog: “So the darker pools are closer to being fully evaporated.”
Gladys: “Exactly.”
Gladys: “When the pools are black, they’re ready to be harvested.”
Doog: “That does not look like salt.”
Gladys: “It’s 97% salt with a few trace minerals, mostly from the dead halophiles.”
Doog: “Like what?”
Gladys: “Calcium, zinc, and carbon.”
Doog: “That’s good? Safe?”
Gladys: “Of course. It’s a healthier salt. It builds bones and cures illnesses.”
Doog: “Really?”
Gladys: “That’s what the promotion department says. I’m not a chemistry or nutrition expert.”
Doog: “That does not look like salt.”
Gladys: “It’s 97% salt with a few trace minerals, mostly from the dead halophiles.”
Doog: “Like what?”
Gladys: “Calcium, zinc, and carbon.”
Doog: “That’s good? Safe?”
Gladys: “Of course. It’s a healthier salt. It builds bones and cures illnesses.”
Doog: “Really?”
Gladys: “That’s what the promotion department says. I’m not a chemistry or nutrition expert.”
Gladys: “The evaporation ponds from this pipeline stretch dozens of square miles, but there are hoppers like this spread throughout. Workers drop black salt into these hoppers, and it is transported to the processing center.”
Doog: “Like this?”
Gladys: “Yes.”
Doog: “Like this?”
Gladys: “Yes.”
Doog: “Did you call it ‘black salt’?”
Gladys: “I did. What else would you call it?”
Doog: “I guess that’s better than ‘dead bacteria salt’.”
Gladys: “Shall we head inside?”
Doog: “We shall.”
Gladys: “I did. What else would you call it?”
Doog: “I guess that’s better than ‘dead bacteria salt’.”
Gladys: “Shall we head inside?”
Doog: “We shall.”
Gladys: “The hoppers drop the black salt into an underground conveyer, which brings it here. The salt is then processed.”
Doog: “Processed how?”
Gladys: “Ground, screened, mixed, ground some more, screened some more, and so on.”
Doog: “Sounds simple enough. Anything else?”
Gladys: “After processing, it’s barreled up. The locals transport it back to the port so it can be shipped off-world.”
Doog: “Got it.”
Doog: “Processed how?”
Gladys: “Ground, screened, mixed, ground some more, screened some more, and so on.”
Doog: “Sounds simple enough. Anything else?”
Gladys: “After processing, it’s barreled up. The locals transport it back to the port so it can be shipped off-world.”
Doog: “Got it.”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s Fistula. The locals survive by fishing and collecting water from the fog. They also drink the juices of weird blobs called Ugnos. The LIU has brought industry here, but the locals play a minimal role in it. This industry involves pumping seawater into evaporation ponds in Fistula’s desert interior. When all the water is removed, the only thing left is a blackened salt. The blackness has something to do with the billions of dead halophiles in the salt. Supposedly, ‘black salt’ is healthier than normal salt. Oh well, see ya!”
Note: Fistula Black Salt is mostly imported by Foetida Foods, so they can label their processed meals as healthy.
Note: Fistula Black Salt is mostly imported by Foetida Foods, so they can label their processed meals as healthy.
