LIU Atlas - Pirata Nebula
There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Pirata Nebula
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Onboard Doog's ship, the Magellan:
LIU Atlas - Pirata Nebula
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Onboard Doog's ship, the Magellan:
Mike: “Seriously Doog, we need to get you to a psychiatrist. The whole carry the microphone around at all times thing is starting to freak me out. And why do you have the Hover Camera out?”
Doog: “What? Oh, this. Yeah, I couldn’t sleep. I figured I’d film some behind the scenes stuff - maybe draw on Oldie’s face while he’s sleeping or something. Why are you still awake?”
Mike: “Well, we only have two beds, and both are currently occupied. Besides, I have a lot of work to do. I’m trying to plot a course to our next destination, some Agricultural World in the deep outer rim. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of hyperspace routes out here, so I’m having some difficulties. This large nebula isn’t really helping either. We can’t jump more than a few miles in any direction.”
Doog: “Don’t get too worked up over it. We’re in no hurry to get to another Agricultural Planet. “
Doog: “What? Oh, this. Yeah, I couldn’t sleep. I figured I’d film some behind the scenes stuff - maybe draw on Oldie’s face while he’s sleeping or something. Why are you still awake?”
Mike: “Well, we only have two beds, and both are currently occupied. Besides, I have a lot of work to do. I’m trying to plot a course to our next destination, some Agricultural World in the deep outer rim. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of hyperspace routes out here, so I’m having some difficulties. This large nebula isn’t really helping either. We can’t jump more than a few miles in any direction.”
Doog: “Don’t get too worked up over it. We’re in no hurry to get to another Agricultural Planet. “
Computer: “Warning! Warning!“
Doog: “Whoa, what’s going on computer?”
Computer: “Unknown. This is not an automated warning. A distress beacon has been manually activated in the Magellan’s cockpit.“
Doog: “Hugo! Man, this guys been crying for attention ever since we forgot about him on Mercor. Mike, head up to the cockpit and make sure Hugo doesn’t do anything crazy, like eject. I’ll get on the com and talk to him.”
Doog: “Whoa, what’s going on computer?”
Computer: “Unknown. This is not an automated warning. A distress beacon has been manually activated in the Magellan’s cockpit.“
Doog: “Hugo! Man, this guys been crying for attention ever since we forgot about him on Mercor. Mike, head up to the cockpit and make sure Hugo doesn’t do anything crazy, like eject. I’ll get on the com and talk to him.”
Doog: “Look Hugo, we said we're sorry. Stop messing around with the distress beacon. Over.”
Hugo: “It has nothing to do with that Doog. We have a ship approaching. Over.”
Doog: “Oh no! A ship in outer space! How rare! Maybe you see a star too? Or a planet? Seriously, we see ships all the time. Just flip them the bird and continue on. Over.”
Hugo: “I can’t. There’s something strange about this ship. It isn’t broadcasting a transponder code. Over.”
Doog: “Wait…no transponder code? That could mean only one thing! It’s the Space Police!”
Hugo: “It has nothing to do with that Doog. We have a ship approaching. Over.”
Doog: “Oh no! A ship in outer space! How rare! Maybe you see a star too? Or a planet? Seriously, we see ships all the time. Just flip them the bird and continue on. Over.”
Hugo: “I can’t. There’s something strange about this ship. It isn’t broadcasting a transponder code. Over.”
Doog: “Wait…no transponder code? That could mean only one thing! It’s the Space Police!”
Doog: “Hurry! Flush the stuff! Put your seatbelts on!”
Hugo: “Uh Doog, I don’t think it’s the Space Police. Not unless they started strapping skeletons to their ship’s hulls.”
Doog: “Aw crap! There is another group of ships that don’t use transponder codes…Space Pirates!”
Doog: “Aw crap! There is another group of ships that don’t use transponder codes…Space Pirates!”
Hugo: “They’re coming along side of us. I can’t shake them - they’re too fast!”
Doog: “Jump the ship Hugo! We could outrun them in hyperspace.”
Hugo: “We can’t just do a random jump, Doog. Mike hasn’t plotted a course yet. We could end up in the middle of a tar or planet!”
Doog: “If we don’t jump, we’re going to end up in the middle of a Space Pirate. I hear they eat people!”
Hugo: “They’re firing!”
Doog: “Wow, they sure are bad at shooting. Their shots aren’t even coming close, not that I’m complaining or anything.”
Hugo: “It’s almost like they are trying to miss. Like they’re herding us towards something…”
Doog: “Yeah, but what?”
Doog: “Jump the ship Hugo! We could outrun them in hyperspace.”
Hugo: “We can’t just do a random jump, Doog. Mike hasn’t plotted a course yet. We could end up in the middle of a tar or planet!”
Doog: “If we don’t jump, we’re going to end up in the middle of a Space Pirate. I hear they eat people!”
Hugo: “They’re firing!”
Doog: “Wow, they sure are bad at shooting. Their shots aren’t even coming close, not that I’m complaining or anything.”
Hugo: “It’s almost like they are trying to miss. Like they’re herding us towards something…”
Doog: “Yeah, but what?”
Doog: “What’s that? A giant Death Ring or something? Go around it!”
Hugo: “I can’t! If I turn, they are going to shoot us. Besides, I don’t think that’s a Death Ring - I think that’s an Electro-Net. It’s designed to short out our ship. They probably plan on taking us alive…”
Doog: “Turn into the gunfire Hugo! I rather die fast!”
Hugo: “I can’t! If I turn, they are going to shoot us. Besides, I don’t think that’s a Death Ring - I think that’s an Electro-Net. It’s designed to short out our ship. They probably plan on taking us alive…”
Doog: “Turn into the gunfire Hugo! I rather die fast!”
Doog: “You wuss! You flew right into it!”
Hugo: “Sorry Doog. I figured that as long as we are alive, we still have a chance.”
Doog: “Yeah, a chance to be brutally raped and tortured before we die. Thanks Hugo.”
Hugo: “Let’s not lose our heads. Let’s see…it appears we’ve lost most systems. The back-up life support system still appears to be working, but that’s about it.”
CLINK
Doog: “What was that?”
Hugo: “It looks like they’re firing grappling hooks. They are probably going to tow us into their base on the Electro-Net.”
Doog: “Alright folks, we’ve been taken aboard the Electro-Net. As of right now, we don’t have any footage coming in, but I was able to keep a hold of my microphone. As of now, there has not been any raping or murdering…”
One hour later…
Hugo: “Sorry Doog. I figured that as long as we are alive, we still have a chance.”
Doog: “Yeah, a chance to be brutally raped and tortured before we die. Thanks Hugo.”
Hugo: “Let’s not lose our heads. Let’s see…it appears we’ve lost most systems. The back-up life support system still appears to be working, but that’s about it.”
CLINK
Doog: “What was that?”
Hugo: “It looks like they’re firing grappling hooks. They are probably going to tow us into their base on the Electro-Net.”
Doog: “Alright folks, we’ve been taken aboard the Electro-Net. As of right now, we don’t have any footage coming in, but I was able to keep a hold of my microphone. As of now, there has not been any raping or murdering…”
One hour later…
Doog: “Hover Camera? Is that you? It is! You found me! I knew you wouldn’t leave me. Come open this door, boy.”
Cam: “Uh…Doog, the Hover Camera can’t hear you or open any doors. The only reason it found us is because we installed a tracking chip in your arm. The Hover Camera is designed to follow the chip.”
Doog: “Hmm, there goes my plan. Wait. Be quiet. I hear some pirates coming.”
Cam: “Uh…Doog, the Hover Camera can’t hear you or open any doors. The only reason it found us is because we installed a tracking chip in your arm. The Hover Camera is designed to follow the chip.”
Doog: “Hmm, there goes my plan. Wait. Be quiet. I hear some pirates coming.”
Captain: “Arr! Don‘t just stand there you Scallywag, give me a status report.”
Pirate: “Capt’n Jolly Doom, sir, there be no treasures on this ship. Their transponder lies like a wench. This isn’t a cargo vessel. All we looted was some tennis rackets and a toilet seat cover. We were able to take some of the ships nicer parts though, like their fuel cells.”
Captain: “Arr, and what of these Landlubbers?”
Pirate: “There not be much to them sir. A few credits and an old microphone, but that scurvy dog wouldn’t give it up. They be of little worth, in my opinion.”
Captain: “Arr. Tis a shame. Go ahead and kill them.”
Pirate: “Capt’n Jolly Doom, sir, there be no treasures on this ship. Their transponder lies like a wench. This isn’t a cargo vessel. All we looted was some tennis rackets and a toilet seat cover. We were able to take some of the ships nicer parts though, like their fuel cells.”
Captain: “Arr, and what of these Landlubbers?”
Pirate: “There not be much to them sir. A few credits and an old microphone, but that scurvy dog wouldn’t give it up. They be of little worth, in my opinion.”
Captain: “Arr. Tis a shame. Go ahead and kill them.”
Doog: “Wait! We are valuable. I’m Doog, host of LIU Atlas. TV2 would pay a hefty sum for me. I’m not sure about these other guys though.”
Crew: “Doog!”
Crew: “Doog!”
Captain: “Arr, that’s where I know ye from. I knew you looked familiar. We watch your show all the time. It be a great scouting report for our raids.”
Doog: “See? You can’t kill us. You need us. Besides, I could do a show about you guys and get you all the infamy you deserve.”
Captain: “Arr, what do you think matey?”
Pirate: “Capt’n, sir, I say we cut off their scurvy heads.”
Captain: “Arr, I be likin’ that plan, but me pockets tell me they be worth more alive. Let them out. Let’s make a show.”
Doog: “See? You can’t kill us. You need us. Besides, I could do a show about you guys and get you all the infamy you deserve.”
Captain: “Arr, what do you think matey?”
Pirate: “Capt’n, sir, I say we cut off their scurvy heads.”
Captain: “Arr, I be likin’ that plan, but me pockets tell me they be worth more alive. Let them out. Let’s make a show.”
Doog: “Actually, I already have my microphone and Hover Camera. I don’t need the crew. They’ll just get in the way.”
Crew: “Doog!”
Captain: “Arr, I be likin’ that idea. That way, if you mess up or do something stupid, we kill your crew."
Mike: “Aw man, we’re dead.”
Crew: “Doog!”
Captain: “Arr, I be likin’ that idea. That way, if you mess up or do something stupid, we kill your crew."
Mike: “Aw man, we’re dead.”
Doog: “Well, where should we start? What’s life like for a Space Pirate in the LIU Galaxy?”
Captain: “Arr, times be rough for us few remaining pirates. The LIU has killed many of me brethren. Arr, we battle them at every step, but we continue to be pushed farther and farther out into the outer rim. As you can see, I’ve left most of me body behind fightin’ them. Now, we’ve moved to our last stronghold, the Pirata Nebula.”
Doog: “And what do you guys do?”
Captain: “Arr, we be doing the normal pirate stuff - murderin’ and lootin’. Usually, we attack smaller cargo vessels that venture out here. Occasionally, we venture deeper into the galaxy and raid some planets.”
Captain: “Arr, times be rough for us few remaining pirates. The LIU has killed many of me brethren. Arr, we battle them at every step, but we continue to be pushed farther and farther out into the outer rim. As you can see, I’ve left most of me body behind fightin’ them. Now, we’ve moved to our last stronghold, the Pirata Nebula.”
Doog: “And what do you guys do?”
Captain: “Arr, we be doing the normal pirate stuff - murderin’ and lootin’. Usually, we attack smaller cargo vessels that venture out here. Occasionally, we venture deeper into the galaxy and raid some planets.”
Doog: “Apparently, you’re not looting enough to afford an elevator…”
Captain: “Arr, this be our main chamber and me crew. They’re the most awful, ruthless group of Scallywags this galaxy has ever seen.”
Captain: “In between raids, we just relax here in the main chamber. Some of the guys pass the time playing Space Dominoes.”
Doog: “Ooh, can I play?”
Captain: “Arr, I don’t think that’s a good idea. The games get pretty serious and often deadly. I lose more men to Dominoes quarrels than I do to the LIU.”
Doog: “I think you’re right. Hey, I’ve noticed that every one of your men have at least one hook instead of a hand. What’s the deal with that?”
Doog: “Ooh, can I play?”
Captain: “Arr, I don’t think that’s a good idea. The games get pretty serious and often deadly. I lose more men to Dominoes quarrels than I do to the LIU.”
Doog: “I think you’re right. Hey, I’ve noticed that every one of your men have at least one hook instead of a hand. What’s the deal with that?”
Captain: “Arr, it be a custom among me crew to sacrifice one hand. In the days of old, thieves and pirates often had their hands chopped off as a punishment. We honor them by doing the same. This new recruit won’t officially be a member until that hand gets sliced off.”
Doog: “Yeah, but here in the LIU, the penalty for theft is death. Shouldn’t you guys be killing yourselves or something, you know, to honor the thieves…”
Captain: “Arr, I haven’t thought of that. Although, it may be hard to get new recruits.”
Doog: “Yeah, but here in the LIU, the penalty for theft is death. Shouldn’t you guys be killing yourselves or something, you know, to honor the thieves…”
Captain: “Arr, I haven’t thought of that. Although, it may be hard to get new recruits.”
Captain: “The main chamber also has some radars to track approaching cargo vessels.”
Doog: “What? Sorry, I was distracted by this huge pile of credits. You guys are rich!”
Captain: “Arr, we have plenty of booty. In fact, we have so much we could retire anytime we want, but most of us be here for the murderin’ more than the booty.”
Doog: “I see. Perhaps you could donate it to someone needy, like myself.”
Captain: Arr, you be a clever soul, Doog, but no.”
Doog: “What? Sorry, I was distracted by this huge pile of credits. You guys are rich!”
Captain: “Arr, we have plenty of booty. In fact, we have so much we could retire anytime we want, but most of us be here for the murderin’ more than the booty.”
Doog: “I see. Perhaps you could donate it to someone needy, like myself.”
Captain: Arr, you be a clever soul, Doog, but no.”
Captain: “You can’t have me treasure Doog, but I do have some booty that you can have. Bring in the wenches!”
Captain: “Arr, one of the perks of bein’ a pirate is the wenches. Go ahead, take your pick.”
Doog: “Uh…I’m not one to turn down any chicks, but these girls look a little too exotic for my tastes. I like to keep it in my own species.”
Captain: “Arr, well you be in luck, Doog. One of our oldest wenches is human. Someone bring in Betty!”
Captain: “Arr, well you be in luck, Doog. One of our oldest wenches is human. Someone bring in Betty!”
Doog: “I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. I think this one isn’t exotic enough.”
Captain: “Arrrr, we have a hit on the radar! Get up you scallywags, we have some plunderin’ to do!”
Doog: “I think I’ll just stay here and guard the treasure.”
Captain: “Arr, I think me treasure will be just fine on its own. Let’s go!”
Doog: “I think I’ll just stay here and guard the treasure.”
Captain: “Arr, I think me treasure will be just fine on its own. Let’s go!”
Captain: “Well Doog, I guess I’ll leave you here. Raids be no place for a Landlubber. I’ve left your ship in the adjacent hangar. It’s mostly intact, but we did take most of your fuel cells. And don’t even think about going to the police, I’ve erased the coordinates of me Electro-Net from your ship’s computer.”
Doog: “What about my crew?”
Captain: “Arr, you can let them out yourself. I don’t have time. And ya best stay away from me treasure or I will hunt you down!”
Doog: “See ya.”
Doog: “What about my crew?”
Captain: “Arr, you can let them out yourself. I don’t have time. And ya best stay away from me treasure or I will hunt you down!”
Doog: “See ya.”
Doog: “Well folks, somehow we survived an encounter with ruthless Space Pirates. Captain Jolly Doom and his crew may not be an important part of the LIU, but they do make things more interesting. Well, I’m going to let the crew out. I can’t carry the treasure out by myself. See ya next time!”
Note: Any information that leads to the arrest of Jolly Doom and his gang would be greatly appreciated, but no, there isn’t a reward.
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 3 - Episode 6 - Fovea
Note: Any information that leads to the arrest of Jolly Doom and his gang would be greatly appreciated, but no, there isn’t a reward.
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 3 - Episode 6 - Fovea
