LIU Atlas - Horreum
There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Horreum
The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Horreum
The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “So, the doctor says the barnacles will fall off in a week or so.”
Oldie: “DOOG!”
Doog: “Whoa, watch the screaming. You’re the deaf one, not me.”
Oldie: “DOOG!”
Doog: “Whoa, watch the screaming. You’re the deaf one, not me.”
Oldie: “Did you eat my frozen dinner!?”
Doog: “You’re going to have to be more specific.”
Oldie: “The pony soup with my name written on it!”
Doog: Oh, that said Oldie? My bad.”
Oldie: “DOOG! I’m going to murder you!”
Doog: “Wait. Did you guys feel that?”
Mike: “Yeah, we dropped out of hyperspace, and there‘s no way we‘re already there. We have at least two more days.”
Doog: “That’s never good. Cue the red warning lights in five…four…
Doog: “You’re going to have to be more specific.”
Oldie: “The pony soup with my name written on it!”
Doog: Oh, that said Oldie? My bad.”
Oldie: “DOOG! I’m going to murder you!”
Doog: “Wait. Did you guys feel that?”
Mike: “Yeah, we dropped out of hyperspace, and there‘s no way we‘re already there. We have at least two more days.”
Doog: “That’s never good. Cue the red warning lights in five…four…
Hugo: “No warning lights this time Doog. We’re not in any immediate danger.”
Doog: “Did I catch an ‘immediate’ in there? So we’re in danger, just not right now?”
Hugo: “Sort of. We’re out of gas, and we’re in the middle of nowhere.”
Doog: “Out of gas?”
Hugo: “Yep. We’ve depleted all our energy cells. No FTL drive. We have enough power for life support and enough ions to power our sublight engines, at least for a while.”
Doog: “How did this happen? Mike, I thought you crunched the numbers?”
Doog: “Did I catch an ‘immediate’ in there? So we’re in danger, just not right now?”
Hugo: “Sort of. We’re out of gas, and we’re in the middle of nowhere.”
Doog: “Out of gas?”
Hugo: “Yep. We’ve depleted all our energy cells. No FTL drive. We have enough power for life support and enough ions to power our sublight engines, at least for a while.”
Doog: “How did this happen? Mike, I thought you crunched the numbers?”
Mike: “I did. Look. Malicanum to Barathrum. Seventeen plus fourteen, carry the two…”
Doog: “Carry the two? How do you carry the two!”
Mike: “I…uh…did I say two, I meant one. Crap. Yeah, I screwed it up big time.”
Doog: “We really need to hire a professional navigator. So, what now?”
Hugo: “We could wait here for help. I activated the distress beacon. But we’re in a pretty remote part of the galaxy. It could be weeks before someone shows up.”
Doog: “That’s not good. We’ll never survive that long locked up together.”
Hugo: “Worse. I’m not sure how long the life support will stay online without the energy cells. We’re running on back-up power.”
Mike: “Look! There’s a star system about 120 AU from here. It has an inhabited planet, Horreum.”
Doog: “Horreum? I like the sound of that.”
Mike: “That’s Horreum with a ‘H’ not a ‘W’.”
Doog: “Dang. Well Hugo, is it possible?”
Hugo: “Maybe. It’ll probably take us 18 or more hours at sublight speeds. That will pretty much take all our ion fuel. If it fails, we’ll have no other options.”
Doog: “Let’s give it a shot. Someone help Mike make the calculations. I’m going to catch some Z’s. Wake me up if we survive.”
Eighteen hours later…
Doog: “Carry the two? How do you carry the two!”
Mike: “I…uh…did I say two, I meant one. Crap. Yeah, I screwed it up big time.”
Doog: “We really need to hire a professional navigator. So, what now?”
Hugo: “We could wait here for help. I activated the distress beacon. But we’re in a pretty remote part of the galaxy. It could be weeks before someone shows up.”
Doog: “That’s not good. We’ll never survive that long locked up together.”
Hugo: “Worse. I’m not sure how long the life support will stay online without the energy cells. We’re running on back-up power.”
Mike: “Look! There’s a star system about 120 AU from here. It has an inhabited planet, Horreum.”
Doog: “Horreum? I like the sound of that.”
Mike: “That’s Horreum with a ‘H’ not a ‘W’.”
Doog: “Dang. Well Hugo, is it possible?”
Hugo: “Maybe. It’ll probably take us 18 or more hours at sublight speeds. That will pretty much take all our ion fuel. If it fails, we’ll have no other options.”
Doog: “Let’s give it a shot. Someone help Mike make the calculations. I’m going to catch some Z’s. Wake me up if we survive.”
Eighteen hours later…
Hugo: “So far we’re looking good. Horreum is coming into view. We’re almost out of fuel though.”
Doog: “What do we know about this place?”
Mike: “It’s an agricultural world. The registry doesn’t denote any major settlements.”
Hugo: “Hold tight! We’re going in!”
Doog: “What do we know about this place?”
Mike: “It’s an agricultural world. The registry doesn’t denote any major settlements.”
Hugo: “Hold tight! We’re going in!”
Hugo: “I lost the ion drive! We’re bingo fuel. I’m going to have crash land this thing!”
Doog: “Hugo! Don’t you dare eject! We‘re all going to die together!”
Doog: “Hugo! Don’t you dare eject! We‘re all going to die together!”
Hugo: “We’re down. Everyone alright?”
Doog: “Yeah, I think so. Nice flying…er….crashing.”
Doog: “Yeah, I think so. Nice flying…er….crashing.”
Doog: “Now what?”
Hugo: “I saw a few structures a few miles back. Might be worth a hike.”
Mike: “Shouldn’t we stay by the ship? The rescuers will come here looking for us. Besides, we’re ok now. We have air, food, and water.”
Hugo: “I didn’t see much when we were flying. Other than those structures, it looks empty here. Might be weeks or months before someone comes across us.”
Mike: “What about our distress beacon?”
Hugo: “I’m afraid it won’t get very far on the planet’s surface.”
Hugo: “I saw a few structures a few miles back. Might be worth a hike.”
Mike: “Shouldn’t we stay by the ship? The rescuers will come here looking for us. Besides, we’re ok now. We have air, food, and water.”
Hugo: “I didn’t see much when we were flying. Other than those structures, it looks empty here. Might be weeks or months before someone comes across us.”
Mike: “What about our distress beacon?”
Hugo: “I’m afraid it won’t get very far on the planet’s surface.”
Oldie: “Well that settles it for me. We don’t have enough food for weeks or months. I’m not eating grass again!”
Doog: “I concur. I’m not watching Oldie eat grass again. That was just pathetic. Alright everyone, let’s head out…except you Hugo. You should wait by the ship in case someone shows up.”
Hugo: “Not this time. I never get to go on any adventures with you guys. Today, that changes.”
Doog: “Fine.”
Mike: “I’ll navigate. Follow me boys!”
Doog: “I concur. I’m not watching Oldie eat grass again. That was just pathetic. Alright everyone, let’s head out…except you Hugo. You should wait by the ship in case someone shows up.”
Hugo: “Not this time. I never get to go on any adventures with you guys. Today, that changes.”
Doog: “Fine.”
Mike: “I’ll navigate. Follow me boys!”
Doog: “Uh Mike, shouldn’t we be going the other way. If we’re headed back to the structures Hugo saw, we need to walk the opposite of the Magellan’s last trajectory.”
Mike: “Uh yeah, I knew that. I was just checking out this bush.”
Mike: “Uh yeah, I knew that. I was just checking out this bush.”
Doog: “Pant, pant…are you sure you saw a structure? We’ve been walking for an hour.”
Hugo: “I’m positive. Are you sure Mike is taking us the right way? He’s not the best navigator.”
Mike: “A guy makes a few mistakes and everyone gets on his case. What about the other eighty times I got us where we were going?”
Cam: “How can anyone navigate here? Everything looks the same. Grass and more grass.”
Oldie: “I swear we passed this bush twice already!”
Meanwhile…
Hugo: “I’m positive. Are you sure Mike is taking us the right way? He’s not the best navigator.”
Mike: “A guy makes a few mistakes and everyone gets on his case. What about the other eighty times I got us where we were going?”
Cam: “How can anyone navigate here? Everything looks the same. Grass and more grass.”
Oldie: “I swear we passed this bush twice already!”
Meanwhile…
Rescuer #1: “Space Guard Rescue Assistance! We got your distress call. We’re here to help.”
Rescuer #2: “Hello? Is anyone here?”
Rescuer #2: “Hello? Is anyone here?”
Rescuer #2: “Where are they? Think they’re dead?”
Rescuer #1: “No. I think they are stupid. See those tracks? They walked off to get help.”
Rescuer #2: “Sigh. Always stay with the ship. How hard is that to remember? Should we go get them?”
Rescuer #1: “Nah. Our obligation ends at the ship. I’m not searching this huge planet. There’s nothing here but endless fields of grains. Come on, let’s go get lunch.”
Rescuer #1: “No. I think they are stupid. See those tracks? They walked off to get help.”
Rescuer #2: “Sigh. Always stay with the ship. How hard is that to remember? Should we go get them?”
Rescuer #1: “Nah. Our obligation ends at the ship. I’m not searching this huge planet. There’s nothing here but endless fields of grains. Come on, let’s go get lunch.”
Doog: “Alright, I know we passed that bush before. It still smells like Oldie’s pee. We’re walking in circles.”
Mike: “I’m navigating by the sun. We’re going to be fine.”
Doog: “The sun! The sun moves!”
Cam: “Sigh…”
Oldie: “We’re screwed.”
Mike: “Wait! I see something.”
Mike: “I’m navigating by the sun. We’re going to be fine.”
Doog: “The sun! The sun moves!”
Cam: “Sigh…”
Oldie: “We’re screwed.”
Mike: “Wait! I see something.”
Doog: “Are those horses?”
Oldie: “No…they’re ponies. They’re ponies!”
Oldie: “They’re ponies! Woohoo!”
Doog: “Oldie! What are you doing? Get back here!”
Doog: “Oldie! What are you doing? Get back here!”
Oldie: “Fresh pony soup! Nom! Nom! Nom!”
Doog: “Oldie! Stop biting the ponies!”
Doog: “Oldie! Stop biting the ponies!”
Oldie: “Ouch!”
Doog: “Hahaha!”
Mike: “Don’t laugh! Let’s go see if he’s ok.”
Cam: “Hehe. It was kind of funny…I mean, yeah, let’s see if he’s ok.”
Mike: “Don’t laugh! Let’s go see if he’s ok.”
Cam: “Hehe. It was kind of funny…I mean, yeah, let’s see if he’s ok.”
Doog: “You still alive?”
Oldie: “Ugh…yeah. I think so, but I’m not sure I want to be alive in a world where your favorite food kicks you in the ribs.”
Oldie: “Ugh…yeah. I think so, but I’m not sure I want to be alive in a world where your favorite food kicks you in the ribs.”
Dan: “I reckon the ponies you’re accustomed to aren’t still alive.”
Doog: “Sorry about that. He’s a pony soup fiend. That, or the dementia is finally setting in.”
Dan: “No worries. What are you folks doing out here in the middle of nowhere?”
Doog: “Our ship crashed a few miles from here. We’re looking for a settlement we passed when we were crashing.”
Dan: “Ah, you’re a long way off from any structures, but we’ll get you there.”
Doog: “Sorry about that. He’s a pony soup fiend. That, or the dementia is finally setting in.”
Dan: “No worries. What are you folks doing out here in the middle of nowhere?”
Doog: “Our ship crashed a few miles from here. We’re looking for a settlement we passed when we were crashing.”
Dan: “Ah, you’re a long way off from any structures, but we’ll get you there.”
Doog: “Thanks. So, what are you guys doing out here?”
Dan: “We’re pony ranchers. We tend to one of the planet’s many herds.”
Doog: “How many ponies do you have?”
Dan: “About ten thousand.”
Doog: “Wow. That’s a lot. How do the three of you handle so many?”
Dan: “It’s not hard. The entire planet is a free range pasture. The ponies pretty much take care of themselves. We’re here to watch over them. When they reach full size, we herd them to the butcher. Well, it will be dark soon. We should get going. That old guy can take my mechanical steed. I’ll walk.”
Dan: “We’re pony ranchers. We tend to one of the planet’s many herds.”
Doog: “How many ponies do you have?”
Dan: “About ten thousand.”
Doog: “Wow. That’s a lot. How do the three of you handle so many?”
Dan: “It’s not hard. The entire planet is a free range pasture. The ponies pretty much take care of themselves. We’re here to watch over them. When they reach full size, we herd them to the butcher. Well, it will be dark soon. We should get going. That old guy can take my mechanical steed. I’ll walk.”
Doog: “Mechanical steed?”
Dan: “Well yeah. I don’t think we’d get too far herding ponies if we walked. Besides the mechanical steeds are much faster, and they don’t wear out. Come on. Let’s go.”
A few hours later…
Dan: “Well yeah. I don’t think we’d get too far herding ponies if we walked. Besides the mechanical steeds are much faster, and they don’t wear out. Come on. Let’s go.”
A few hours later…
Dan: “Sorry we couldn’t get you there before dark.”
Doog: “No problem. Campfires, fresh pony soup, and some whiskey. No one here is complaining.”
Dan: “Especially that older gentlemen. He really is a pony fanatic, isn’t he?”
Doog: “No problem. Campfires, fresh pony soup, and some whiskey. No one here is complaining.”
Dan: “Especially that older gentlemen. He really is a pony fanatic, isn’t he?”
Doog: “That might be an understatement.”
Oldie: “Nom, nom, nom!”
The Next Morning…
Oldie: “Nom, nom, nom!”
The Next Morning…
Dan: “Well, here you are gents.”
Doog: “What is this?”
Dan: “It’s a shelter. They’re spread out around the planet. They allow us to get emergency assistance when it is required. You should be able to use the subspace communicator to get help.”
Doog: “What is this?”
Dan: “It’s a shelter. They’re spread out around the planet. They allow us to get emergency assistance when it is required. You should be able to use the subspace communicator to get help.”
Doog: “Thanks for the help, Dan. Not a bad planet you got here.”
Oldie: “Sniff. I don’t want to leave. Do you need another rancher?”
Dan: “Sorry. We only have three mechanical steeds. Well, I’m off. Don’t stray too far from this shack. They shouldn’t be long. Yeehaw!”
Oldie: “Sniff. I don’t want to leave. Do you need another rancher?”
Dan: “Sorry. We only have three mechanical steeds. Well, I’m off. Don’t stray too far from this shack. They shouldn’t be long. Yeehaw!”
Doog: “Well folks, it looks like we’ve escaped disaster once more. Help should be coming soon. Horreum is essentially a giant pasture. Ranchers lead huge herds of ponies across these grasslands until they are fattened up, and then they herd them off to the butcher. Horreum keeps the citizens of the LIU Galaxy supplied with one of their favorite dishes, pony soup. Well, see ya.”
Note: Two millions ponies were harmed during the making of this episode.
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 6 - Episode 6 - Semita Lucis System
Note: Two millions ponies were harmed during the making of this episode.
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 6 - Episode 6 - Semita Lucis System
