Season 9 - Episode 1 - Gurgustio

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 


                                                              LIU Atlas -  Gurgustio
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.


Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to Season Nine of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Gurgustio. Gurgustio was once one of the galaxy’s premier industrial worlds, but it has since fallen on hard times. Worlds with cheaper labor, better access to hyperspace routes, and more abundant minerals have taken much of Gurgustio’s business. Production here is at an all-time low. Those who could afford to leave, have left the planet, while the remaining population scrapes by working whatever limited shifts they can find. Recently, however, Gurgustio’s economy has experienced a slight uptick. We’re here to find out why.”

Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off outside an apartment complex called Hovel 8C. 8C is one of a few dozen concrete structures built by the LIU to house Gurgustio’s workers. These complexes are overcrowded, and they are in major disrepair. The LIU has invested little money in upkeeping these complexes now that Gurgustio’s economy is failing.”

Doog: “Standing here amongst the squalor, I feel I need to keep my head on a swivel. This guy here does not want to get shanked. I guess I’ll wait here for my guide, because there’s no way I’m headed inside this building.”

Jane: “Hey, you must be Doog, I’m Jane.”
Doog: “Don’t shank me! I don’t have any money!”
Jane: “Uh, ok. Since you said so.”
Doog: “Wait…Jane. You’re my guide, right?”
Jane: “Yes. I see you followed my instructions to dress down. The grease on your shirt looks perfect.”
Doog: “Uh…. yeah…. your instructions. I totally followed them. I dressed like a slob… on purpose. And the whole grease thing…was not related to the tacos I consumed prior to landing.”
Jane: “Well, purposeful or not, you look like you’ll blend in here.”

Doog: “Yeah, I hope so. This doesn’t look like a place where you would want to stand out.”
Jane: “Yeah. Even before the economy failed, Gurgustio wasn’t the safest place. Like most industrial worlds in the galaxy, Gurgustio has suffered from low wages, lack of education, and substandard housing. It’s just worse now that the economy has changed.”
Doog: “Changed how? I heard things were improving here.”
Jane: “The economy is changing, but not necessarily improving. Gurgustio used to be a major exporter of various chemicals, but now that production is dropping, its economy has evolved. Some of its infrastructure is being used in ways that was not intended. The technical term for this phenomenon is “gray market”.”
Doog: “Grey market?”
Jane: “Not quite black market, because the new economy isn’t technically illegal. It’s sort of in a gray area.”

Doog: “Looking around this courtyard, I can see gambling, weapons, drugs. Doesn’t look all that gray to me. This looks to be a black market.”
Jane: “If you want to get technical, those things would be considered black market, but they’re not new. These problems have always been prevalent here. Low wage workers looking to drown their sorrows brought drugs to Gurgustio a long time ago. Drugs brought weapons, gangs, and even gambling. Not all people on industrial worlds are bad, but the conditions here tend to breed some unsavory individuals.”
Doog: “Why haven’t the police stepped in?”

Jane: “Haha. The police in the LIU don’t get involved in social issues. They protect the LIU’s assets. Besides, most of them don’t want to be here anymore than the poor workers. They’re looking to save up enough money so they can leave too. On Gurgustio, the police can be bought.”
Doog: “Ok, poor people, drugs, corrupt police, all point to a criminal world with a big black market. I’ve seen planets like that before. Where is this gray economy?”
Jane: “Not here, but I wanted you to see the conditions here. They play an important role in the new economy. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Jane: “The majority of the planet’s chemical plants sit idle. Most of Gurgustio’s natural resources have been exhausted, and Gurgustio can’t afford to import much. The little production occurring here is based on the few remaining natural resources. I’d say to ten years, the whole chemical side of Gurgustio’s economy will collapse. Luckily, the gray market is stepping up and filling some of the voids.”
Doog: “What’s your job here? Do you work in the chemical plants?”

Jane: “I worked in the chemical industry for a bit. Mostly, I was involved in shipping chemicals off world. I’ve been laid off for almost five years.”
Doog: “So, this isn’t a costume for you. You’re really this poor? No offense intended.”
Jane: “None taken. This is a costume. I’ve been out of the chemical business, but I’m employed in the planet’s new industry. I’m a runner.”
Doog: “Runner? Like you do marathons? Much respect, I couldn’t run to save my life, although I don’t see why the LIU would pay you for it.”
Jane: “No, runner like I transport customers on and off world. I make runs.”
Doog: “Well, that’s confusing. What is this new economy?”

Criminal: “Give me your credits rich microphone guy! Or I’ll cut that pretty face off! I could use another face!”
Doog: “You think I’m pretty? Well, that’s a first.”
Criminal: “NOW! You think I’m joking around!”
Doog: “Uh…please don’t. I don’t want any trouble. Please, I have no credits. Look at the grease stains on my shirt. What kind of guy with money would have that!”
Criminal: “They smell like taco stains! You must be really rich! That’s it. Your face is getting CUT!”
Doog: “Ok, ok. You got me. I have lots of credits. But…I gave them all to this lady. She’s a runner. Real rich too. You want to rob her, not me!”
Jane: “Wow, thanks Doog. Very brave of you to pawn the robber off on me.”
Doog: “Priorities, Jane, priorities.”

Jane: “Luckily, this lady has a modified DuBreuil Mark 9. The round will literally burn through your head. I hear that you can smell your own flesh burning right before you expire.”
Criminal: “I…uh…sorry. Hard times…don’t kill me.”
Doog: “Yeah. Mark 9. I knew that. That’s why I said what I said…”

Doog: “So, where were we?”
Jane: “We’re just going to pretend you didn’t pawn off a crazed robber on me.”
Doog: “Did I? I was just…uh…buying time to make my move. Hope I didn’t scare you.”
Jane: “Yeah, I bet. Come on, we’re headed inside the building under the train tracks. Try not to get me murdered on the way.”

Doog: “So what do we have here?”
Jane: “Most of Gurgustio’s gray economy revolves around an industry known GUMP. There’s more money running through GUMP than any chemical plant.”
Doog: “Gump? What’s gump?”
Jane: “It’s an acronym, GUMP stands for Gurgustio’s Unapproved Medical Procedures.”
Doog: “What?”
Jane: “Gurgustio had a rather large medical industry prior to its economic downfall. It was essential for keeping a stable workforce in the dangerous chemical industry. Of course, now that labor is no longer in demand, the LIU has abandoned these facilities.”
Doog: “They don’t look abandoned to me.”
Jane: “Exactly. They’ve been put to another use. GUMP.”
Doog: “I’m not grasping the whole gump thing. What’s an unapproved medical procedure?”
Jane: “The LIU lists some medical procedures as unapproved, meaning that they do not meet Universal Safety Protocols. If they took place in actual registered hospitals, the LIU could be fined. However, in an informal setting like this, the LIU doesn’t really care either way. In other words, this place is neither legal, nor illegal.”
Doog: “It’s in a gray area.”
Jane: “Yep”.

Doog: “So, these aren’t real doctors?”
Jane: “Depends on what you mean by real. None of the doctors here are officially licensed, so I guess they are not true doctors.  They are capable though, despite their lack of proper credentials.”
Doog: “Seems…dangerous.”
Jane: “Not usually. Most have full training, but if they got officially licensed, they wouldn’t be able to legally perform unapproved procedures.”
Doog: “What kind of ‘unapproved procedures’ are we talking about?”
Jane: “Lots of stuff: body manipulations, cybernetics, trans-species transplants, identity changes, et cetera.”

Doctor: “So, you want a change to your face?”
Patient: “Yeah, I’m trying to hide from some debt collectors.”
Doctor: “Please, no need to elaborate. It’s better that I don’t know too much. Alright. First step of face change means making it moldable. It’s hammer time.”
Patient: “Wait! Don’t I get anesthetized first!”
Doctor: “Oh. Yes. I always forget that step. One moment.”
Doog: “Seems legit…said no one ever.”
Jane: “Come on, let’s see some more.”

Doog: “Are you sure it’s safe to just walk into these rooms? Aren’t they supposed to be sterile?”
Jane: “This guy is getting his organs replaced with pig organs. I think it is safe to say, contamination is the least of his worries.”
Doog: “WHAT! Why would anyone do that!?”
Jane: “Trans-species transplantation are unapproved, mostly because of the high rejection rates. But, sometimes, certain species are compatible. It might be cheaper than getting organs from his own species. Maybe he likes pigs. I don’t know.”
Doctor: “Um, excuse me. If you came for the leftover pig parts, please come back at the end of the day. We give nothing away until then. Then, it’s bacon for everyone…unless, of course, I can interest you in a transplant? Would you like a pig spleen?”
Doog: “Uh…no thanks. But I’ll be back for bacon.”

Jane: “Cybernetics is the largest, most profitable industry within GUMP. Thousands of people come to Gurgustio every year for cybernetic procedures.”
Doog: “Wait, I didn’t know cybernetics were unapproved. I see them in use all the time.”
Jane: “Cybernetics are completely legal and approved in many circumstances. Especially when they help maintain quality of life. If you lose an arm, it’s legal to get a cybernetic one. However, if you just want a cyborg arm for punching people harder, you have to come to a place like Gurgustio.”
Doog: “So, non-medical cybernetics?”
Jane: “Yeah.”

Assistant: “Uh…Dr. Hackmar, I think we screwed up. I’m almost certain this guy wanted his right arm replaced.”
Hackmar: “It’s a MISHAP! Oh well, what difference does it make? Right, left, same difference. They guy’s going to have an awesome cyborg arm.”
Assistant: “Yes. It’s just that humans are not ambidextrous. He might be mad.”
Hackmar: “Hmm. Perhaps we just drill into his head and call it a loss.”
Assistant: “Nah, too much paperwork. Maybe we give him two cyborg arms and charge him double?”
Hackmar: “It’s a STOPGAP! But let’s do it.”

Doog: “That’s why I fear going to doctor.”
Jane: “Technically, they’re not doctors. But…I can’t argue otherwise.”

Jane: “In addition to fees collected for various medical services, GUMP also makes a lot of money in the organ trade. Body parts or organs removed during transplantations and cybernetic procedures are saved. Sometimes they are sold off world, sometimes they go to other patients within the GUMP facility.”
Doog: “These procedures must cost an arm and a leg. Get it?”
Jane: “Yeah…I get it. Anyway, the organ business is aided by the fact the Gurgustio has so many poor residents.”
Doog: “How so?”

Jane: “Because, here in the GUMP facility, the poor can sell their organs.”
Doog: “Don’t they need their organs…to live?”
Jane: “To varying degrees. There’s some organs you can live without.”

Doog: “Still, they must be desperate.”
Jane: “Most are desperate to leave Gurgustio. Their organs may be their only way to afford to leave. Some are more desperate than others though. Remember the guy getting the pig organs?”
Doog: “That’s sort of hard to forget.”
Jane: “Well, more than likely, he agreed to sell his perfectly healthy organs for cash, then bought cheaper pig organs. He’ll use the profits to get off world.”
Doog: “So, that’s what makes the GUMP so profitable. It cashes in on the poor residents trying to leave Gurgustio.”
Jane: “More or less.”

Doog: “I wonder what organs I could do without. Maybe I can make a little cash while I’m here.”
Jane: “If you have a spare kidney, looks like they’re now paying double.”
Doog: “Yeah…I’m remembering the whole cybernetics operation from earlier. I’ll go to sleep and wake up with no kidneys…a probably a pig heart. No thanks.”

Doog: “Well folks, what can I say. Gurgustio is a less than ideal place. The fall of its traditional industry has caused its economy to evolve. While it once dealt in chemicals, it now deals in unapproved medical procedures and the organ trade. If you’re in the market for some cyborg enhancements, new organs, new faces, or any other shady medical procedure, well, Gurgustio is the place for you. Just make sure you bring enough cash to get off world, otherwise, you might have to sell your organs. Oh well, I’m going to see if that bacon is available yet. See ya!”

Note: “GUMP is now running a two for one special. Sell any two organs and get a free replacement organ of lesser or equal value. No coupons are stackable with this deal.”

Credits
Created by: Ludgonious
Executive Producers: Ralph DuBreuil , legolifty
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