There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Minxi Service Station
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Minxi Service Station. The station is built into a trojan asteroid located in Lagrangian Point 4 of the gas giant, Mingebam. The station offers several services for galactic farers, including fuel, ship maintenance and repairs, and several stores. This is sort of a ‘two birds with one stone thing’, I’ll be touring the station while the Magellan undergoes some much-needed maintenance.”
Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve boarded the station. As you can see behind me, the Magellan is clamped into a service station. Maintenance is underway. You can also see that there’s a bunch of ‘fly-looking’ guys walking around. These are the asteroid’s native race, the Mingo. One of these Mingos is my guide. Let’s try to find him.”
Taban: “Welcome to Minxi Service Station. I am Taban. I am the Station Operations Manager.”
Doog: “Uh, hey. Just to be honest right off the bat, I’m not a big fan of insects. Flies don’t bother me too much, so I can tolerate you, to an extent.”
Taban: “Uh, thanks. I’m glad you can tolerate me. If it makes you feel more comfortable, calling my race ‘flies’ would be a misconception. We have no wings. The only thing we fly are spaceships.”
Doog: “True. That helps, I guess. So, what can you tell me about your space station?”
Doog: “Uh, hey. Just to be honest right off the bat, I’m not a big fan of insects. Flies don’t bother me too much, so I can tolerate you, to an extent.”
Taban: “Uh, thanks. I’m glad you can tolerate me. If it makes you feel more comfortable, calling my race ‘flies’ would be a misconception. We have no wings. The only thing we fly are spaceships.”
Doog: “True. That helps, I guess. So, what can you tell me about your space station?”
Taban: “This is a full-service station. There’s not much we can’t do when it comes to ship maintenance. The station has several hangars for medium size ships, like yours, and docking ports for larger capital ships. We offer a wide array of services, from purging septic tanks to engine de-ionization.”
Doog: “Yeah, tell me more about your septic services. I’ve heard that you don’t charge for this service, unlike other maintenance stations.”
Taban: “Not only do we not charge for septic services, we actually pay you. Ships this size receive seven credits for offloading waste.”
Doog: “Wait. You’re going to pay us for our poo?”
Taban: “Yes.”
Doog: “What kind of business model is that!”
Taban: “This generous offer attracts more business. The Minxi Station is one of the galaxy’s most frequented maintenance ports. Besides, patrons of the station take the septic credit and use it to pay for other services, like fuel or water reclamation. The offer gets them here and then they end up spending even more money.”
Doog: “Makes sense, now that I think about it.”
Doog: “Yeah, tell me more about your septic services. I’ve heard that you don’t charge for this service, unlike other maintenance stations.”
Taban: “Not only do we not charge for septic services, we actually pay you. Ships this size receive seven credits for offloading waste.”
Doog: “Wait. You’re going to pay us for our poo?”
Taban: “Yes.”
Doog: “What kind of business model is that!”
Taban: “This generous offer attracts more business. The Minxi Station is one of the galaxy’s most frequented maintenance ports. Besides, patrons of the station take the septic credit and use it to pay for other services, like fuel or water reclamation. The offer gets them here and then they end up spending even more money.”
Doog: “Makes sense, now that I think about it.”
Taban: “So, what services will your ship require?”
Doog: “We’ll take the works. Any service you offer, we’ll take it. TV2 is covering the bill. It’s our once-a-decade maintenance allotment.
Taban: “Very well. We’ll get started right away. We’ll drain your septic tank, purify your waste water, charge your energy cells, de-ionize the engines, empty your trash receptacle, repair micrometeorite damage, degrease your pipes, and clean your cockpit window.”
Doog: “Do you by chance offer any interior maid service?”
Taban: “Not usually, but I’m sure we can reprogram a maintenance bot.”
Doog: “Make it so.”
Taban: “We’ll try. Well, all these services will take some time. Perhaps we can kill time touring the rest of the station?”
Doog: “I’ll follow you.”
Doog: “We’ll take the works. Any service you offer, we’ll take it. TV2 is covering the bill. It’s our once-a-decade maintenance allotment.
Taban: “Very well. We’ll get started right away. We’ll drain your septic tank, purify your waste water, charge your energy cells, de-ionize the engines, empty your trash receptacle, repair micrometeorite damage, degrease your pipes, and clean your cockpit window.”
Doog: “Do you by chance offer any interior maid service?”
Taban: “Not usually, but I’m sure we can reprogram a maintenance bot.”
Doog: “Make it so.”
Taban: “We’ll try. Well, all these services will take some time. Perhaps we can kill time touring the rest of the station?”
Doog: “I’ll follow you.”
Doog: “Whoa. There’s a whole city in here.”
Taban: “Yes. The Minxi Station is home to millions of my race, plus thousands of other travelers.”
Doog: “This looks like some type of market.”
Taban: “You’ll find that the areas of the city, closest to the hangars, are devoted to commercial interests. Patrons can purchase items, like food, while they wait for their ship to be repaired.”
Doog: “Hey, maybe we can strike up a deal for some of these groceries. Just bill them as maintenance costs. TV2 will never find out.”
Taban: “You want me to defraud TV2 while appearing on camera for a TV2 show? I do not believe that would be in my best interest.”
Doog: “Uh, yeah. I was kidding. Totally. We’ll talk off camera though.”
Taban: “Yes. The Minxi Station is home to millions of my race, plus thousands of other travelers.”
Doog: “This looks like some type of market.”
Taban: “You’ll find that the areas of the city, closest to the hangars, are devoted to commercial interests. Patrons can purchase items, like food, while they wait for their ship to be repaired.”
Doog: “Hey, maybe we can strike up a deal for some of these groceries. Just bill them as maintenance costs. TV2 will never find out.”
Taban: “You want me to defraud TV2 while appearing on camera for a TV2 show? I do not believe that would be in my best interest.”
Doog: “Uh, yeah. I was kidding. Totally. We’ll talk off camera though.”
Taban: “In addition to the markets, the station also houses a large restaurant district. Patrons can grab a hot meal while waiting for their ship.”
Doog: “It actually smells pretty good down here. You don’t get that on space stations usually. They either have that antiseptic, sterile smell or that dank, uncirculated air smell.”
Taban: “If you think it smells good, you should have a taste. I have a few restaurant recommendations.”
Doog: “I don’t have any credits. And, someone here, won’t help a brother out.”
Taban: “Are you still asking me to make fraudulent charges to your employer?”
Doog: “Wait. I have an idea! What if I was the person requesting the septic drain? I would get the seven credits. Then, TV2 covers the other charges.”
Taban: “Hmm, I don’t see a problem with that. Two transactions instead of one. You’ve found a loophole that won’t get us killed or imprisoned.”
Doog: “It actually smells pretty good down here. You don’t get that on space stations usually. They either have that antiseptic, sterile smell or that dank, uncirculated air smell.”
Taban: “If you think it smells good, you should have a taste. I have a few restaurant recommendations.”
Doog: “I don’t have any credits. And, someone here, won’t help a brother out.”
Taban: “Are you still asking me to make fraudulent charges to your employer?”
Doog: “Wait. I have an idea! What if I was the person requesting the septic drain? I would get the seven credits. Then, TV2 covers the other charges.”
Taban: “Hmm, I don’t see a problem with that. Two transactions instead of one. You’ve found a loophole that won’t get us killed or imprisoned.”
Taban: “What will it be then? Perhaps a crabshake? Or some crab nuggets?”
Doog: “As tempting as space station crab might be, I think I’ll wait for a bit. I want to get this tour over first. With seven credits, I’m guaranteed to eat enough for a food coma.”
Taban: “Sounds good. Follow me.”
Doog: “As tempting as space station crab might be, I think I’ll wait for a bit. I want to get this tour over first. With seven credits, I’m guaranteed to eat enough for a food coma.”
Taban: “Sounds good. Follow me.”
Doog: “Oh good, we’re going in the biohazard room.”
Taban: “It’s not a room. It’s a biohazard airlock. It keeps the smells and gases from the Minxi Station’s industries from leaking into the habitable areas of the station. They’re the reason it smells better here than other stations.”
Doog: “Got it.”
Taban: “It’s not a room. It’s a biohazard airlock. It keeps the smells and gases from the Minxi Station’s industries from leaking into the habitable areas of the station. They’re the reason it smells better here than other stations.”
Doog: “Got it.”
Doog: “Wow, this is a large airlock. I can’t even see the other end.”
Taban: “Yes. It is quite long. Airlocks, like these, spiral down to the lower decks of the station where the industries are located. We’ll need to catch a tram.”
Taban: “Yes. It is quite long. Airlocks, like these, spiral down to the lower decks of the station where the industries are located. We’ll need to catch a tram.”
Taban: “Before we head down, it’s recommended that non-Mingo species utilize a breathing filter.”
Doog: “Is it required?”
Taban: “No. It’s just recommended. Some species don’t like the chemical smells of our industry.”
Doog: “I’ve spent the last nine years smelling the Magellan’s bathroom. I think I’ll survive. Besides, I can’t hide this handsome face from my viewers.”
Taban: “Alright.”
Doog: “Is it required?”
Taban: “No. It’s just recommended. Some species don’t like the chemical smells of our industry.”
Doog: “I’ve spent the last nine years smelling the Magellan’s bathroom. I think I’ll survive. Besides, I can’t hide this handsome face from my viewers.”
Taban: “Alright.”
Doog: “This is our tram? It looks like the bed of a dump truck.”
Taban: “It is. It’s usually used to send trash and food waste down to the lower floors of the space station.”
Taban: “It is. It’s usually used to send trash and food waste down to the lower floors of the space station.”
Doog: “What kind of industries are down there? Why would they need trash?”
Taban: “The Minxi Station’s primary industry is waste recycling. Trash, dirty water, and sewage removed from the ships above are sent down here for treatment.”
Doog: “I’m rethinking the whole breathing filter thing, now. Can we go back? I didn’t know there was sewage!”
Taban: “Sorry. The trams already moving.”
Taban: “The Minxi Station’s primary industry is waste recycling. Trash, dirty water, and sewage removed from the ships above are sent down here for treatment.”
Doog: “I’m rethinking the whole breathing filter thing, now. Can we go back? I didn’t know there was sewage!”
Taban: “Sorry. The trams already moving.”
Doog: “Alright, this isn’t as bad as I thought. There’s just bit of a chlorine smell.”
Taban: “This isn’t the sewage department. This is where we purify water.”
Doog: “Water purification. That’s one of the services we’re getting for the Magellan. What can you tell me about that?”
Taban: “Let’s hop off and take a look.”
Taban: “This isn’t the sewage department. This is where we purify water.”
Doog: “Water purification. That’s one of the services we’re getting for the Magellan. What can you tell me about that?”
Taban: “Let’s hop off and take a look.”
Taban: “Most ships have their own water reclamation systems. Waste water, from showers, sinks, and toilets, is collected, purified, and reused. This prevents ships from having to refill their water tanks every few weeks. However, ship-based water reclamation systems can only do so much. After several cycles, the water no longer is safe for consumption.”
Doog: “How many cycles are we talking?”
Taban: “We recommend changing out the water every year.”
Doog: “Oh good. We are going on two years, and before that, we went six years. That explains the outbreak of rashes on the ship and the sore throat I’ve had for the last two months.”
Taban: “Yes, that is highly unsanitary. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Doog: “So, you’re replacing our water then?”
Taban: “We’ll be replacing some, yes. We’ll purify what we can first, and then top off your tanks with fresh water.”
Doog: “Wait, I thought you said reclamation systems can only do so much. Shouldn’t we get all new water.”
Taban: “Our purification system is much more advanced than one you’ll find on a ship. When it’s done running through our system, your water will be free of chemicals and pathogens. Pure H2O.”
Doog: “How many cycles are we talking?”
Taban: “We recommend changing out the water every year.”
Doog: “Oh good. We are going on two years, and before that, we went six years. That explains the outbreak of rashes on the ship and the sore throat I’ve had for the last two months.”
Taban: “Yes, that is highly unsanitary. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Doog: “So, you’re replacing our water then?”
Taban: “We’ll be replacing some, yes. We’ll purify what we can first, and then top off your tanks with fresh water.”
Doog: “Wait, I thought you said reclamation systems can only do so much. Shouldn’t we get all new water.”
Taban: “Our purification system is much more advanced than one you’ll find on a ship. When it’s done running through our system, your water will be free of chemicals and pathogens. Pure H2O.”
Doog: “Why aren’t we talking the tram?”
Taban: “The tram heads to the trash compactor. There’s not much to see down there, just trash getting crushed into cubes. The trash cubes are processed off-station. It’s pretty boring stuff.”
Doog: “Where are we going then?”
Taban: “To one of the sewage vaults.”
Taban: “The tram heads to the trash compactor. There’s not much to see down there, just trash getting crushed into cubes. The trash cubes are processed off-station. It’s pretty boring stuff.”
Doog: “Where are we going then?”
Taban: “To one of the sewage vaults.”
Doog: “Ugh…this is…the worst! It’s our bathroom on steroids. I can smell it even when I breathe through my mouth.”
Taban: “I offered the breathing filter.”
Doog: “You should have told me we were heading into a sewage vault! I might have taken you up on your offer.”
Taban: “I offered the breathing filter.”
Doog: “You should have told me we were heading into a sewage vault! I might have taken you up on your offer.”
Doog: “Ugh! Why are you just pumping it out into a room?”
Taban: “Other stations process the waste into fertilizer, but we do things a bit different. We pump the solid waste into vaults, called Brood Chambers.”
Doog: “Brood? Like a group of babies?”
Taban: “Yes.”
Doog: “Why call it that? What does this cesspool of turds have to do with babies?”
Taban: “Other stations process the waste into fertilizer, but we do things a bit different. We pump the solid waste into vaults, called Brood Chambers.”
Doog: “Brood? Like a group of babies?”
Taban: “Yes.”
Doog: “Why call it that? What does this cesspool of turds have to do with babies?”
Taban: “Because we rear our young here.”
Doog: “Those white squirmy things are your babies?”
Taban: “They are the larval stage of my species. They are coprophagic, obtaining nutrients by eating feces.”
Doog: “Overwhelming nausea kicking in. Must stop thinking about the fly worms eating poop.”
Doog: “Those white squirmy things are your babies?”
Taban: “They are the larval stage of my species. They are coprophagic, obtaining nutrients by eating feces.”
Doog: “Overwhelming nausea kicking in. Must stop thinking about the fly worms eating poop.”
Taban: “Oh, they’re not that bad. I think they’re cute.”
Doog: “Did you just pick that up!? It was just crawling in the crap pool! You’re getting excrement all over yourself!”
Taban: “I shook it clean first.”
Doog: “No amount of shaking could remove the filth from that thing. And, you’re not supposed to shake babies, jerk.”
Taban: “He’ll be fine. Brood #3 is made up of working class larvae. Some of them might even be from my loin. They’re tough.”
Doog: “Speaking of tough, I’m having a tough time keeping from throwing up. Can we put the poopy worm baby down and move on?”
Doog: “Did you just pick that up!? It was just crawling in the crap pool! You’re getting excrement all over yourself!”
Taban: “I shook it clean first.”
Doog: “No amount of shaking could remove the filth from that thing. And, you’re not supposed to shake babies, jerk.”
Taban: “He’ll be fine. Brood #3 is made up of working class larvae. Some of them might even be from my loin. They’re tough.”
Doog: “Speaking of tough, I’m having a tough time keeping from throwing up. Can we put the poopy worm baby down and move on?”
Taban: “Well, there’s not much else to see. It might be time to hit up one of these restaurants.”
Doog: “You expect me to eat after seeing the brood chamber? And, I definitely don’t want to eat with you. You haven’t even washed your hands.”
Taban: “I’ll wash them at the restaurant.”
Doog: “Will you be washing your clothes there too? I can smell you back here.”
Taban: “My clothes are fine. You’re just smelling the residuals of being in the tank. The chemicals permeate your clothing. The smell will go away in half an hour or so.”
Doog: “Either way, I lost my appetite. That’s hard for me to say, but it’s true. I just want to wrap things up and take a shower in our new fresh water.”
Taban: “Your loss.”
Doog: “You expect me to eat after seeing the brood chamber? And, I definitely don’t want to eat with you. You haven’t even washed your hands.”
Taban: “I’ll wash them at the restaurant.”
Doog: “Will you be washing your clothes there too? I can smell you back here.”
Taban: “My clothes are fine. You’re just smelling the residuals of being in the tank. The chemicals permeate your clothing. The smell will go away in half an hour or so.”
Doog: “Either way, I lost my appetite. That’s hard for me to say, but it’s true. I just want to wrap things up and take a shower in our new fresh water.”
Taban: “Your loss.”
Doog: “Well folks, the Minxi Service Station is certainly an interesting place. The Mingo race offers a variety of maintenance services here, from septic drainage to water reclamation. They even pay you for using their septic services. I was led to believe this generous offer was instituted to attract more customers, but it turns out that the Mingo pay you for your sewage because their babies eat it. Right now, thousands of baby Mingos are crawling through unimaginably smelly cesspools, eating our waste. Gross. Oh well, see ya!”
Note: Early in galactic history, it was common to purge a ship’s septic tanks into space, whenever the need arose. As galactic traffic increased, this method became unviable. The frozen, compressed waste, floating about the galaxy, became a health and navigational risk. Transit laws were created limiting dump locations. Dump sites were located in uninhabited systems, near the Lagrangian Points of gas giants. The L4 and L5 points of the gas planet, Mingebam, were two such locations. Decades of septic dumps in these points coagulated into several rock-hard asteroids. The trojan asteroids of the planet Mingebam were created as a result. The Minxi Station is, in fact, built into a giant turd asteroid. And yes, the asteroids here are jokingly called ‘ass-teroids.’
Parasites within the waste evolved into the Mingo race. Their quick reproduction rates allowed them to evolve quickly. They are one of the newest races to emerge into sentience in the LIU galaxy, coming into existence just a few decades ago.
Parasites within the waste evolved into the Mingo race. Their quick reproduction rates allowed them to evolve quickly. They are one of the newest races to emerge into sentience in the LIU galaxy, coming into existence just a few decades ago.
