LIU Atlas - Emeritus
There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Emeritus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Emeritus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Oldie: “Well boys, I know how stressful our tour of the Ferox Cluster was, and I…”
Doog: “What! How was it stressful for you? You guys all stayed on the ship! Me and the hover camera did all the work!”
Mike: “Hey, being crammed in here together for days on end wasn’t exactly easy Doog. Have you ever had to watch Oldie’s puppet show? His puppets are made from socks and dirty underwear.”
Oldie: “Well, I’m not going to waste clean ones. Now, keep quiet! As I was saying, I know we’ve all been under a lot of stress. I figured we’d do our next show somewhere nice where we could get a little rest and relaxation. I searched nearby targets, and I found a little Resort World interesting enough for a show. Well…did you guys hear me? Hello…I expected that announcement to be followed with glee and applause.”
Doog: “Oldie, you’ve failed us so many times. We’re not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing.”
Mike: “Yeah. You say Resort World, but really it turns out to be a World of Last Resort or something. Everybody gets murdered.”
Cam: “Yeah, or a Retort World. Everyone delivers snarky responses to everything you say.”
Oldie: “Oh, come on guys. Just trust me…”
Doog: “What! How was it stressful for you? You guys all stayed on the ship! Me and the hover camera did all the work!”
Mike: “Hey, being crammed in here together for days on end wasn’t exactly easy Doog. Have you ever had to watch Oldie’s puppet show? His puppets are made from socks and dirty underwear.”
Oldie: “Well, I’m not going to waste clean ones. Now, keep quiet! As I was saying, I know we’ve all been under a lot of stress. I figured we’d do our next show somewhere nice where we could get a little rest and relaxation. I searched nearby targets, and I found a little Resort World interesting enough for a show. Well…did you guys hear me? Hello…I expected that announcement to be followed with glee and applause.”
Doog: “Oldie, you’ve failed us so many times. We’re not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing.”
Mike: “Yeah. You say Resort World, but really it turns out to be a World of Last Resort or something. Everybody gets murdered.”
Cam: “Yeah, or a Retort World. Everyone delivers snarky responses to everything you say.”
Oldie: “Oh, come on guys. Just trust me…”
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Resort World of Emeritus. Despite of our massive mistrust in Oldie, we’ve elected to come here for a show and a mini-vacation. Emeritus sports a planet-wide tropical climate with several warm seas. Oldie might be on to something here.”
Doog: “Alright Oldie, something isn’t adding up. Where are all the big resorts and hotels? All I see is mile after mile of single story housing. Also, there appears to be an above average amount of handicap parking.”
Mike: “Yeah, where are all the hot chicks? I haven’t seen anyone under the age of eighty.”
Oldie: “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with GILF’s.”
Doog: “Oldie, what are you not telling us?”
Oldie: “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with GILF’s.”
Doog: “Oldie, what are you not telling us?”
Oldie: “Well…Emeritus might be a…”
Guy: “Get out of my parking spot you young punks!”
Guy: “Get out of my parking spot you young punks!”
Doog: “Emeritus might be a what, Oldie?”
Oldie: “It might be a Resort World…for retirees.”
Doog: “What!?”
Doc: “Yes, retirees, specifically retired veterans. Only those who serve a full career in the LIU’s military are allowed to live here. It’s a gift for their service.”
Oldie: “It might be a Resort World…for retirees.”
Doog: “What!?”
Doc: “Yes, retirees, specifically retired veterans. Only those who serve a full career in the LIU’s military are allowed to live here. It’s a gift for their service.”
Doog: “Whoa. Where did you come from? You don’t look old to me.”
Boko: “Well, that’s because I’m not. I’m Dr. Lynn Boko, Senescence Specialist here on Emeritus.”
Doog: “Scent Specialist? Boy, do I have some questions for you. Our ship…”
Boko: “No, senescence, or biological aging. I’m a specialist in caring for the elderly.”
Doog: “So everyone here is old?”
Boko: “Depends on what you mean by old, but generally all our residents are over the age of seventy.”
Doog: “And they are all veterans?”
Boko: “Yes. A full military career ensures you a spot here. Come, let me show you guys around.”
Boko: “Well, that’s because I’m not. I’m Dr. Lynn Boko, Senescence Specialist here on Emeritus.”
Doog: “Scent Specialist? Boy, do I have some questions for you. Our ship…”
Boko: “No, senescence, or biological aging. I’m a specialist in caring for the elderly.”
Doog: “So everyone here is old?”
Boko: “Depends on what you mean by old, but generally all our residents are over the age of seventy.”
Doog: “And they are all veterans?”
Boko: “Yes. A full military career ensures you a spot here. Come, let me show you guys around.”
Boko: “Here on Emeritus, we are committed to giving veterans a healthy, safe, and stress-free life. They’ve earned it.”
Doog: “What about those who serve only briefly?”
Boko: “Military commitment in the LIU is for life. Those that leave early, are either dead or dishonorably discharged.”
Doog: “What about disabled veterans?”
Boko: “They are cared for on other planets. Most are returned to full strength through cybernetics and returned to full duty. Here, we only handle those that are removed from the military due to age.”
Doog: “I see.”
Doog: “What about those who serve only briefly?”
Boko: “Military commitment in the LIU is for life. Those that leave early, are either dead or dishonorably discharged.”
Doog: “What about disabled veterans?”
Boko: “They are cared for on other planets. Most are returned to full strength through cybernetics and returned to full duty. Here, we only handle those that are removed from the military due to age.”
Doog: “I see.”
Creepy: “How about one of you little boys come sit on grandpa’s lap!”
Cam: “Uh, no thanks.”
Cam: “Uh, no thanks.”
Mike: “Check out this old chick. She’s got a sweet flame tattoo.”
Lady: “It used to be a heart. Time is cruel.”
Mike: “Oh…sorry.”
Lady: “It used to be a heart. Time is cruel.”
Mike: “Oh…sorry.”
Boko: “Community areas like this allow the residents to interact socially and exercise.”
Doog: “Exercise…what are you trying to do, kill them?”
Doog: “Exercise…what are you trying to do, kill them?”
Boko: “Community dining areas also offer a social setting for our guests. Not only can they enjoy healthy meals, but we also offer several games to keep the residents challenged. One such game, called Money, is popular among the residents. It’s similar to Bingo.”
Doog: “Oh, I get it now.”
Boko: “Excuse me?”
Doog: “I was wondering where the profit was. I see it now. You rob these people of all the retirement savings through games like this.”
Boko: “Uh, no. The veterans here are cared for by the state until they die at no cost. Some money is bet on games like this to increase their interest and to fulfill their competitive needs, but it is all returned at the conclusion of the
game.”
Doog: “Fine. But I’m not giving up. There’s some profit here somewhere.”
Doog: “Oh, I get it now.”
Boko: “Excuse me?”
Doog: “I was wondering where the profit was. I see it now. You rob these people of all the retirement savings through games like this.”
Boko: “Uh, no. The veterans here are cared for by the state until they die at no cost. Some money is bet on games like this to increase their interest and to fulfill their competitive needs, but it is all returned at the conclusion of the
game.”
Doog: “Fine. But I’m not giving up. There’s some profit here somewhere.”
Doog: “Wait…is that…is that a buffet?”
Boko: “Yes. This is our lunch buffet.”
Doog: “Could we, perhaps, taste this buffet, you know, for reporting purposes?”
Boko: “I don’t see a problem with that.”
Boko: “Yes. This is our lunch buffet.”
Doog: “Could we, perhaps, taste this buffet, you know, for reporting purposes?”
Boko: “I don’t see a problem with that.”
Doog: “BUFFET FORMATION!!”
Cam: “Get it boys!”
Oldie: “Food!!”
Boko: “Please gentlemen, settle down. No need to hurt anyone.”
Mike: “I haven’t eaten in a week. There may be need to hurt!”
Cam: “Get it boys!”
Oldie: “Food!!”
Boko: “Please gentlemen, settle down. No need to hurt anyone.”
Mike: “I haven’t eaten in a week. There may be need to hurt!”
Doog: “What villainy is this?”
Mike: “It’s…vegetables…”
Boko: “Yes. Healthy, high fiber foods. Great for energy and digestive health.”
Doog: “I’ve lost my appetite. Let’s continue.”
Mike: “It’s…vegetables…”
Boko: “Yes. Healthy, high fiber foods. Great for energy and digestive health.”
Doog: “I’ve lost my appetite. Let’s continue.”
Boko: “Our medical facilities are top of the line.”
Doog: “Aha, here’s the profit. Medical testing.”
Boko: “Again, no. Our facilities are dedicated to keeping the residents healthy.”
Doog: “Aha, here’s the profit. Medical testing.”
Boko: “Again, no. Our facilities are dedicated to keeping the residents healthy.”
Boko: “Our Health Bot scans residents to detect any vitamin deficiencies or health issues, and administers daily medications.”
Bot: “Hmm, I detect several deficiencies. I will administer a vitamin cocktail with your heart medication, Mr. Johnson. Be well.”
Boko: “Regardless of the preemptive measures we take, age eventually takes its toll, and residents succumb to more serious diseases. Our top medical staff corrects these issues with surgery and other medical procedures.”
Boko: “Despite our efforts, all residents eventually submit to the inevitable, death. They are given full military honors and then transported to the morgue.”
Doog: “This is a little morose, but…is this the profit? Do we have some sort of Soylent Green scenario here?”
Boko: “Of course not!”
Boko: “Of course not!”
Boko: “The dead are stored until their genes can be retrieved then they are cremated.”
Doog: “Until their genes are retrieved?”
Boko: “Yes, all veterans make a genetic donation at the time of their death.”
Doog: “Until their genes are retrieved?”
Boko: “Yes, all veterans make a genetic donation at the time of their death.”
Boko: “Medical Bots, begin retrieval on specimen #EME 4598312-78315.”
Bot: “Confirmed.”
Bot: “Confirmed.”
Doog: “Who was he? I don’t mean that specimen number either.”
Boko: “Ryan Gray. Although frail and weak near the end of his life, he was once a formidable warrior. Gray spent twenty years as a mech pilot and served in several wars. His last years in the military were spent behind a desk, but important work none the less. He’s seen things you people would never believe…attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Gravor. He watched I-beams glitter in the dark near the Ferrariae Gate. All those moments will be lost in time…like tears…in…rain. Now he died.”
Doog: “Blade Runner much?”
Boko: “Ok, so I ripped off the speech, but the accomplishments are all true. He served the LIU in life, and now, he will serve in death..”
Boko: “Ryan Gray. Although frail and weak near the end of his life, he was once a formidable warrior. Gray spent twenty years as a mech pilot and served in several wars. His last years in the military were spent behind a desk, but important work none the less. He’s seen things you people would never believe…attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Gravor. He watched I-beams glitter in the dark near the Ferrariae Gate. All those moments will be lost in time…like tears…in…rain. Now he died.”
Doog: “Blade Runner much?”
Boko: “Ok, so I ripped off the speech, but the accomplishments are all true. He served the LIU in life, and now, he will serve in death..”
Doog: “How does one serve in death?”
Boko: “Reanimation. We’re building a zombie army.”
Doog: “Really?”
Boko: “No, not really. I already told you. In death, he contributes his genes. He is a superior warrior. His genes will breed even greater warriors. Follow me.”
Boko: “Reanimation. We’re building a zombie army.”
Doog: “Really?”
Boko: “No, not really. I already told you. In death, he contributes his genes. He is a superior warrior. His genes will breed even greater warriors. Follow me.”
Doog: “We come to it at last…the profit.”
Boko: “Profit…maybe. I think of it more as a perk. We care for these great soldiers that served the LIU. Our hard work is rewarded with genetic superiority.”
Boko: “Profit…maybe. I think of it more as a perk. We care for these great soldiers that served the LIU. Our hard work is rewarded with genetic superiority.”
Boko: “Think about it. Military employees that last into such old age are doing something right. They’ve avoided being killed in several conflicts. They were one step faster than the next guy, one bit more accurate at shooting. Perhaps they just have a better mind for strategy and awareness.”
Doog: “Perhaps they were just a bit more lucky. Or maybe they were in less dangerous missions.”
Boko: “Indeed. There will be anomalies. They are taken into consideration.”
Doog: “Perhaps they were just a bit more lucky. Or maybe they were in less dangerous missions.”
Boko: “Indeed. There will be anomalies. They are taken into consideration.”
Boko: “Superior genes are taken from several subjects and combined to create a faster, stronger, smarter soldier. The Emeritus Cloning Project is the future of the LIU Military.”
Doog: “Indeed. Well, we won’t keep you any longer. Thanks for the tour.”
Boko: “No problem.”
Doog: “Indeed. Well, we won’t keep you any longer. Thanks for the tour.”
Boko: “No problem.”
Doog: “Well folks, Emeritus is an interesting place. Veterans that serve a full career with the LIU are allowed to retire in peace and harmony on this beautiful planet. They are cared for until their death, where once again, they are called on to serve the LIU. The genes of these exceptional individuals are being collected to construct even better soldiers for the future. Well, we’ve been given lodging for the night, so we’re going to take advantage of the little time we have left for a mini-vacation. See ya!”
Note:
Note:
Mike: “We’re going to need to get hammered tonight.”
Doog: “Cheers to extremely lowered standards and bad decisions.”
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 8 - Laniatus
Doog: “Cheers to extremely lowered standards and bad decisions.”
CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 8 - Laniatus
