There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Balnea
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Balnea. Balnea is a rocky, desert world known for its tourism. Why would such a desolate place attract tourists? Because Balnea is home to several ‘dry spas’. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but apparently, it’s popular. The crew and I are heading down, so we’ll let you know more when we get down there.”
Doog: “Alright folks, the crew and I have been dropped off in Port Balnea. There looks to be numerous shops and stands surrounding the port’s exit. If this place is about tourism, I guess we should start with them.”
Amaya: “That is the opposite of what we’ll be doing. These shops are all tourist traps. They sell junk to unwary travelers at marked up prices.”
Amaya: “That is the opposite of what we’ll be doing. These shops are all tourist traps. They sell junk to unwary travelers at marked up prices.”
Amaya: “While we’re on that subject, don’t buy any health supplies from the vendors here. It’s all fake. The rejuvenating effects of Balnea’s mineral soils can’t be bottled up. They only work under the perfect conditions found on this planet.”
Seitse: “Essentially, you’d just be buying dirt cream.”
Doog: “Maybe some of us are in the market for dirt cream.”
Mike: “Honestly, dirt cream might improve your looks.”
Doog: “Shut it, Mike!”
Seitse: “Essentially, you’d just be buying dirt cream.”
Doog: “Maybe some of us are in the market for dirt cream.”
Mike: “Honestly, dirt cream might improve your looks.”
Doog: “Shut it, Mike!”
Amaya: “Quit bickering and listen up. Balnea is a pretty diverse place. It has many spas that offer a wide range of treatments at differing price points. I brought most of the crew so we can check as many of these spas as possible. Seitse and I are teaming up to check out some spas. You guys split up and do the same.”
Doog: “You’re trusting us to split up however we choose?”
Amaya: “Yes, or is that too much responsibility for you?”
Doog: “No, I’m game. No one checks out spas better than me. I wonder if they have any…uh…massage spas. I’ll be looking for those.”
Amaya: “Yeah, sure. Have fun and meet back at the ship in a few hours. Don’t forget to record your experiences.”
Doog: “Let’s go, boys!”
Doog: “You’re trusting us to split up however we choose?”
Amaya: “Yes, or is that too much responsibility for you?”
Doog: “No, I’m game. No one checks out spas better than me. I wonder if they have any…uh…massage spas. I’ll be looking for those.”
Amaya: “Yeah, sure. Have fun and meet back at the ship in a few hours. Don’t forget to record your experiences.”
Doog: “Let’s go, boys!”
Doog: “These don’t look like spas, not any I’d like to visit anyway.”
Mike: “I’m pretty sure this is a parking garage or taxi stand.”
Cam: “These guys look like hustlers or pushers. They probably work for the spas. They’ll all want our business. If we group together, we might be able to negotiate a better price.”
Oldie: “I thought we were supposed to split up.”
Doog: “We’ll split up later. I think Cam’s on to something.”
Mike: “I’m pretty sure this is a parking garage or taxi stand.”
Cam: “These guys look like hustlers or pushers. They probably work for the spas. They’ll all want our business. If we group together, we might be able to negotiate a better price.”
Oldie: “I thought we were supposed to split up.”
Doog: “We’ll split up later. I think Cam’s on to something.”
Seitse: “Are you doing alright?”
Amaya: “What do you mean? I’m doing great.”
Seitse: “It’s not like you to let the guys wander around unsupervised. Who knows what kind of trouble they’ll get into.”
Amaya: “There’s not much trouble to get into on Balnea. Besides, they have very limited credits. Worse case scenario, they get scammed out of their few credits. I’m not too worried.”
Seitse: “Ok. That did not sound like something you’d say.”
Amaya: “Sometimes us girls just need some relaxation time.”
Seitse: “What does that mean?”
Amaya: “Balnea has some great spas that really do wonders. These ‘actual’ spas are expensive. We can’t afford for everyone to go.”
Seitse: “Meaning?”
Amaya: “You and I are checking out an actual spa. The rest of the crew…well, they’re checking out the fake stuff – the tourists spas. What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.”
Seitse: “Hmm. I could get behind that.”
Amaya: “Glad to hear it. We’re going to have to really step it up, though. This episode depends on us getting the actual information.”
Seitse: “Got it.”
Amaya: “What do you mean? I’m doing great.”
Seitse: “It’s not like you to let the guys wander around unsupervised. Who knows what kind of trouble they’ll get into.”
Amaya: “There’s not much trouble to get into on Balnea. Besides, they have very limited credits. Worse case scenario, they get scammed out of their few credits. I’m not too worried.”
Seitse: “Ok. That did not sound like something you’d say.”
Amaya: “Sometimes us girls just need some relaxation time.”
Seitse: “What does that mean?”
Amaya: “Balnea has some great spas that really do wonders. These ‘actual’ spas are expensive. We can’t afford for everyone to go.”
Seitse: “Meaning?”
Amaya: “You and I are checking out an actual spa. The rest of the crew…well, they’re checking out the fake stuff – the tourists spas. What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.”
Seitse: “Hmm. I could get behind that.”
Amaya: “Glad to hear it. We’re going to have to really step it up, though. This episode depends on us getting the actual information.”
Seitse: “Got it.”
Salesman: “One application of this gel will make you look ten years younger. Buy one now, and I’ll throw in some of my patented Lipid Reduction pills. Nine out of ten celebrities take them.”
Doog: “Tempting. As a TV Host, I’m always looking for something to appear younger on camera.”
Mike: “Didn’t Amaya warn us not to buy this stuff?”
Doog: “Who listens to her?”
Salesman: “Yeah, who is she?”
Oldie: “Don’t bother, guys. If that gel worked, I’d be an infant by now.”
Cam: “You take this stuff?”
Oldie: “I did a while back. I bought some off the holo-net.”
Doog: “So…it definitely doesn’t work. Look at you.”
Oldie: “This is the one time I’ll let that pass. The gel clearly didn’t work.”
Salesman: “Your loss. Youth Gel! Youth Gel! Come get your Balnean age-reducing gel!”
Cam: “Well, we worked together and didn’t get scammed by the snake-oil salesman. Maybe we can take that momentum into the negotiations with these spa vultures.”
Doog: “We didn’t get scammed because Oldie was already scammed before. It’s not that promising.”
Oldie: “Hey, that’s called experience. Between the lot of us, we have a lot of experience in getting screwed over. I think we’ll be fine.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
Doog: “Tempting. As a TV Host, I’m always looking for something to appear younger on camera.”
Mike: “Didn’t Amaya warn us not to buy this stuff?”
Doog: “Who listens to her?”
Salesman: “Yeah, who is she?”
Oldie: “Don’t bother, guys. If that gel worked, I’d be an infant by now.”
Cam: “You take this stuff?”
Oldie: “I did a while back. I bought some off the holo-net.”
Doog: “So…it definitely doesn’t work. Look at you.”
Oldie: “This is the one time I’ll let that pass. The gel clearly didn’t work.”
Salesman: “Your loss. Youth Gel! Youth Gel! Come get your Balnean age-reducing gel!”
Cam: “Well, we worked together and didn’t get scammed by the snake-oil salesman. Maybe we can take that momentum into the negotiations with these spa vultures.”
Doog: “We didn’t get scammed because Oldie was already scammed before. It’s not that promising.”
Oldie: “Hey, that’s called experience. Between the lot of us, we have a lot of experience in getting screwed over. I think we’ll be fine.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
Cam: “We’re looking for spas. Who can get us to one the cheapest?”
Vulture #1: “I know the best place. Ten credits, and I’ll drive all four of you there.”
Vulture #2: “Psst. That’s nothing. Same price, but not only will I get you there, you’ll get in for free.”
Doog: “That sounds reasonable.”
Mike: “He has a motorcycle, Doog. We all won’t fit.”
Vulture #2: “I’m up for multiple trips.”
Doog: “Pass. What about you?”
Slink: “There’s classy little spa just east of here. It’s called the Sit’N Silt. You usually need reservations months in advance, but I know the owner. I’ll get you there, get you inside, and get you back to the spaceport. Seven credits up front – five when we get back.”
Doog: “Math that for me.”
Cam: “That’s twelve credits.”
Doog: “That’s more than the others.”
Cam: “It is, but somehow is makes him seem more legit.”
Doog: “I kind of agree.”
Oldie: “The other guys didn’t mention anything about getting us back.”
Doog: “True. SOLD. Take us there…uh, driver.”
Slink: “Slink Varro’s the name. Let’s get you guys loaded up.”
Vulture #1: “I know the best place. Ten credits, and I’ll drive all four of you there.”
Vulture #2: “Psst. That’s nothing. Same price, but not only will I get you there, you’ll get in for free.”
Doog: “That sounds reasonable.”
Mike: “He has a motorcycle, Doog. We all won’t fit.”
Vulture #2: “I’m up for multiple trips.”
Doog: “Pass. What about you?”
Slink: “There’s classy little spa just east of here. It’s called the Sit’N Silt. You usually need reservations months in advance, but I know the owner. I’ll get you there, get you inside, and get you back to the spaceport. Seven credits up front – five when we get back.”
Doog: “Math that for me.”
Cam: “That’s twelve credits.”
Doog: “That’s more than the others.”
Cam: “It is, but somehow is makes him seem more legit.”
Doog: “I kind of agree.”
Oldie: “The other guys didn’t mention anything about getting us back.”
Doog: “True. SOLD. Take us there…uh, driver.”
Slink: “Slink Varro’s the name. Let’s get you guys loaded up.”
Barton: “You must be Amaya and Seitse. I am B.A.R.T.O.N., Butler AI for Refined Treatment and Optimal Nurturing. Please, call me Barton.”
Amaya: “Hi, Barton.”
Barton: “Esteemed guests, your conveyance awaits. You’ll find that this fully-loaded hover-taxi has been cooled to a most agreeable temperature. During our journey, may I invite you to select your preferred music, as well as a refreshment of your choosing. Simply indicate your desire, and I shall see to it at once.”
Seitse: “This is going to be awesome.”
Amaya: “A little white lie to the crew will be worth it.”
Amaya: “Hi, Barton.”
Barton: “Esteemed guests, your conveyance awaits. You’ll find that this fully-loaded hover-taxi has been cooled to a most agreeable temperature. During our journey, may I invite you to select your preferred music, as well as a refreshment of your choosing. Simply indicate your desire, and I shall see to it at once.”
Seitse: “This is going to be awesome.”
Amaya: “A little white lie to the crew will be worth it.”
Doog: “Ugh…is there any AC?”
Slink: “Who needs air conditioning – we have the wind. Stick your head out to the side for maximum breeze.”
Mike: “Maybe if we had some music, this heat wouldn’t seem so bad.”
Cam: “I don’t think any music is loud enough to hear over the clanking and rattling.”
Oldie: “I picked the good seat. It has dripping water to cool me off.”
Slink: “That might be condensation from the coolant system. Enjoy the coolness, but don’t drink it…or get it in your eyes.”
Slink: “Who needs air conditioning – we have the wind. Stick your head out to the side for maximum breeze.”
Mike: “Maybe if we had some music, this heat wouldn’t seem so bad.”
Cam: “I don’t think any music is loud enough to hear over the clanking and rattling.”
Oldie: “I picked the good seat. It has dripping water to cool me off.”
Slink: “That might be condensation from the coolant system. Enjoy the coolness, but don’t drink it…or get it in your eyes.”
Doog: “Something about the size differential in the advertisements is making me believe we picked a lower-end spa.”
Mike: “Yeah, I wonder what that other place is like.”
Mike: “Yeah, I wonder what that other place is like.”
Barton: “Honored guests, welcome to Thermosilt Spa, Balnea’s high-end, luxury health resort. We have the purest, most-effective dry baths on the planet. Your skin will be radiant and renewed shortly.”
Amaya: “What’s a dry bath?”
Barton: “A therapy like none other. A warm hug of rejuvenating silts and soils – procured right here on this estate.”
Seitse: “Does the soil have some special mineral or something?”
Amaya: “Good question.”
Barton: “Please, ladies, do not concern yourself with the details. Let me worry about that. Instead, enjoy the relaxation that is to come.”
Amaya: “Actually, I am concerned.”
Seitse: “We won’t be able to relax until we know.”
Barton: “Very well, your wish is my command. Many of the soils on Balnea contain the microbe, Salinophyta Exorii. Unremarkable on its own, the microbes release a chemical, Excorionase, when properly heated. Excorionase dissolves dead keratinocytes in the outermost layer of the skin. This causes cell turnover, allowing new skin cells to surface faster. Excorionase also stimulates collagen synthesis, giving it a firming effect.”
Amaya: “Nice. I am more relaxed.”
Seitse: “I’m almost there, I need to know more about the procurement process.”
Amaya: “What’s a dry bath?”
Barton: “A therapy like none other. A warm hug of rejuvenating silts and soils – procured right here on this estate.”
Seitse: “Does the soil have some special mineral or something?”
Amaya: “Good question.”
Barton: “Please, ladies, do not concern yourself with the details. Let me worry about that. Instead, enjoy the relaxation that is to come.”
Amaya: “Actually, I am concerned.”
Seitse: “We won’t be able to relax until we know.”
Barton: “Very well, your wish is my command. Many of the soils on Balnea contain the microbe, Salinophyta Exorii. Unremarkable on its own, the microbes release a chemical, Excorionase, when properly heated. Excorionase dissolves dead keratinocytes in the outermost layer of the skin. This causes cell turnover, allowing new skin cells to surface faster. Excorionase also stimulates collagen synthesis, giving it a firming effect.”
Amaya: “Nice. I am more relaxed.”
Seitse: “I’m almost there, I need to know more about the procurement process.”
Barton: “Most guest do not share your curiosity, but I can try my best to answer. Salinophyta Exorii was abundant in Balnea’s crust. It was exploited recklessly for many years. The microbe was nearly extinct. Only small undisturbed populations survived. One such location was under the Thermosilt Spa. It is now collected in a replenishable manner under strict quarantine procedures.”
Seitse: “So, that skin aiding-bacteria grows below the spa.”
Barton: “Yes.”
Amaya: “Can we see it?”
Barton: “Even though I wish to please you with all my programming, I can not permit any visits. The safety of our microbial source is my highest priority. Sorry.”
Amaya: “What about some stock footage of these microbial mats?”
Barton: “That can be arranged.”
Seitse: “So, that skin aiding-bacteria grows below the spa.”
Barton: “Yes.”
Amaya: “Can we see it?”
Barton: “Even though I wish to please you with all my programming, I can not permit any visits. The safety of our microbial source is my highest priority. Sorry.”
Amaya: “What about some stock footage of these microbial mats?”
Barton: “That can be arranged.”
Doog: “Am I reading this right? Barely Almost Licensed?”
Slink: “They’re so close, like maybe twenty or so inspections away. Much better than before.”
Bouncer: “We have the best dry spa for miles. You’ll forget the whole license business after a few hours of pure relaxation.”
Cam: “I guess.”
Oldie: “I’m in! I want to look younger!”
Doog: “This isn’t the fountain of youth, Oldie.”
Oldie: “Let me dream!”
Bouncer: “There’s a problem though. I only have two spots left.”
Slink: “I promised these guys I’d get them in.”
Bouncer: “What can I say, the popularity of Sit’N Silt has been on the rise. We have a source now, and we’re getting the good stuff.”
Slink: “No worries. I know a few sources myself. Two of you can stay, the other two are coming with me. Slink always keeps his promise.”
Slink: “They’re so close, like maybe twenty or so inspections away. Much better than before.”
Bouncer: “We have the best dry spa for miles. You’ll forget the whole license business after a few hours of pure relaxation.”
Cam: “I guess.”
Oldie: “I’m in! I want to look younger!”
Doog: “This isn’t the fountain of youth, Oldie.”
Oldie: “Let me dream!”
Bouncer: “There’s a problem though. I only have two spots left.”
Slink: “I promised these guys I’d get them in.”
Bouncer: “What can I say, the popularity of Sit’N Silt has been on the rise. We have a source now, and we’re getting the good stuff.”
Slink: “No worries. I know a few sources myself. Two of you can stay, the other two are coming with me. Slink always keeps his promise.”
Slink: “Ah, you two must be the more adventurous of the group. I have something great for you.”
Doog: “Actually, we were looking for something more…inclusive…with…uh…bonus perks. If you catch my drift.”
Slink: “I think I know what you’re going for. I have the perfect spot. Come on.”
Doog: “Actually, we were looking for something more…inclusive…with…uh…bonus perks. If you catch my drift.”
Slink: “I think I know what you’re going for. I have the perfect spot. Come on.”
Slink: “Most of these joints can’t afford the good microbe soil – they buy the leftover, used stuff from the big resorts. That’s right, your friends are sludging around in silt that’s been Emperor knows where. Not you two. I have a source of the good stuff. Pure stuff.”
Doog: “I don’t think he understood what we were asking for.”
Mike: “We should have just said prostitutes. Who knows where going now.”
Doog: “I don’t think he understood what we were asking for.”
Mike: “We should have just said prostitutes. Who knows where going now.”
Barton: “There is more to the process than just sitting in microbial dirt. Salinophyta Exorii does not release Excorionase under normal circumstances. The sand or soil must be heated to a precise temperature – the temperature at which Salinophyta Exorii expires.”
Amaya: “The microbes die to make these baths?”
Barton: “Yes, making the renewable manner of its collection even more pertinent.”
Amaya: “I see.”
Barton: “This warming process is vital to skin renewal. Without it, you would just be sitting in bacteria-infected sands.”
Amaya: “Poor guys.”
Seitse: “They deserve it.”
Amaya: “The microbes die to make these baths?”
Barton: “Yes, making the renewable manner of its collection even more pertinent.”
Amaya: “I see.”
Barton: “This warming process is vital to skin renewal. Without it, you would just be sitting in bacteria-infected sands.”
Amaya: “Poor guys.”
Seitse: “They deserve it.”
Barton: “Unlike the other spas, your privacy is paramount. I will remain in standby mode with my vision off until my service is required.”
Seitse: “Thanks, Barton.”
Amaya: “This is magical. The warm silt does feel like a hug.”
Seitse: “I know it’s only been like five minutes, but I swear my skin already feels tighter.”
Amaya: “Me too! That’s when we know we have the good stuff.”
Seitse: “The more I hear about the amenities were experiencing, I start to wonder what the guys are going through. Do they not have privacy?”
Seitse: “Thanks, Barton.”
Amaya: “This is magical. The warm silt does feel like a hug.”
Seitse: “I know it’s only been like five minutes, but I swear my skin already feels tighter.”
Amaya: “Me too! That’s when we know we have the good stuff.”
Seitse: “The more I hear about the amenities were experiencing, I start to wonder what the guys are going through. Do they not have privacy?”
Cam: “I honestly thought there was going to be…less people in here with us. All their sweat and grime is soaking into the sand. The sand that we’re also sitting in. It’s sort of gross.”
Oldie: “I’m enjoying it all the same. This lukewarm, strangely moist silt is doing wonders for my wrinkles. I think. I can’t see most of them.”
Oldie: “I’m enjoying it all the same. This lukewarm, strangely moist silt is doing wonders for my wrinkles. I think. I can’t see most of them.”
Cam: “It’s also a little gross that most of these guys are in here fully naked. I mean, at least keep something over your nether region.”
Oldie: “What are you talking about? I’m fully nude too. I want all my body parts rejuvenated.”
Cam: “Scoot away from me immediately.”
Oldie: “What?! It’s a spa!”
Oldie: “What are you talking about? I’m fully nude too. I want all my body parts rejuvenated.”
Cam: “Scoot away from me immediately.”
Oldie: “What?! It’s a spa!”
Amaya: “Whatever spa they ended up at can’t be that bad. Those spas have to offer some perks to attract tourists.”
Seitse: “True. If the other spas are all junk, then no one would come here. They probably have some benefits.”
Amaya: “Not benefits like us, though. Barton, be a dear and fetch us some more wine.”
Seitse: “And another Mamiya Smoothie too.”
Barton: “I exist to serve, ladies.”
Seitse: “True. If the other spas are all junk, then no one would come here. They probably have some benefits.”
Amaya: “Not benefits like us, though. Barton, be a dear and fetch us some more wine.”
Seitse: “And another Mamiya Smoothie too.”
Barton: “I exist to serve, ladies.”
Doog: “What the heck is this?”
Slink: “These guys are diggers. They get the good soil and sell it to the smaller spas, like Sit’N Silt. Why share the contaminated stuff with all the other tourists? Why not get something pure from the source.”
Boro: “Yeah, pure stuff. Totally. Ahem, Slink to what do we owe the honor?”
Slink: “I had a deal with these two chaps that fell through. I thought maybe these guys could get the spa experience at your spot.”
Boro: “(whispers) We don’t have a spa, Slink.”
Slink: “(whispers) I’ll give you three credits, just play along.”
Doog: “What are you two whispering about?”
Boro: “We’re trying to figure out how to serve our wonderful guests in the best manner. You guys want the pure stuff, huh? You came to the right place.”
Slink: “These guys are diggers. They get the good soil and sell it to the smaller spas, like Sit’N Silt. Why share the contaminated stuff with all the other tourists? Why not get something pure from the source.”
Boro: “Yeah, pure stuff. Totally. Ahem, Slink to what do we owe the honor?”
Slink: “I had a deal with these two chaps that fell through. I thought maybe these guys could get the spa experience at your spot.”
Boro: “(whispers) We don’t have a spa, Slink.”
Slink: “(whispers) I’ll give you three credits, just play along.”
Doog: “What are you two whispering about?”
Boro: “We’re trying to figure out how to serve our wonderful guests in the best manner. You guys want the pure stuff, huh? You came to the right place.”
Oldie: “I think I’m feeling something.”
Cam: “Me too. Regret. I’m feeling regret.”
Cam: “Me too. Regret. I’m feeling regret.”
Mike: “I imagined something very different when they said dry baths. Like walls, for one. I really envisioned walls.”
Doog: “You’re preaching to the choir, Mike. I haven’t had to get naked in front of so many guys since prison. I’m having flashbacks.”
Mike: “I also envisioned something warmer. Baths are supposed to be warm, right?”
Boro: “Did you say warmer? Sure, we can do that. Get the welding gear boys.”
Doog: “You’re preaching to the choir, Mike. I haven’t had to get naked in front of so many guys since prison. I’m having flashbacks.”
Mike: “I also envisioned something warmer. Baths are supposed to be warm, right?”
Boro: “Did you say warmer? Sure, we can do that. Get the welding gear boys.”
Boro: “Let me get that warmed right up for you two gents.”
Amaya: “Barton, to help me fully relax, maybe you could put my mind at ease.”
Barton: “I’d be happy to help in whatever manner.”
Amaya: “Could a group of slightly dim individuals get into trouble on Balnea?”
Barton: “Madam, do not trouble yourself over the prospect of crime. The wealthiest spas of Balnea have put together a strong security force. It was a must to protect our tourism. Aside from an occasional cutpurse or brigand, Balnea is very safe. If there was any danger, it would be to the low folk who frequent the ‘tourist spas’.”
Amaya: “What do you mean? That’s where my friends are!”
Barton: “Do not fret. The danger is not crime. It is rashes and itchy spots. The sanitation of these substandard, counterfeit spas is most certainly skimped upon and their standards are fleeting at best.”
Amaya: “Nothing permanent, right?”
Barton: “Ointments and antibiotics do the trick, my lady.”
Barton: “I’d be happy to help in whatever manner.”
Amaya: “Could a group of slightly dim individuals get into trouble on Balnea?”
Barton: “Madam, do not trouble yourself over the prospect of crime. The wealthiest spas of Balnea have put together a strong security force. It was a must to protect our tourism. Aside from an occasional cutpurse or brigand, Balnea is very safe. If there was any danger, it would be to the low folk who frequent the ‘tourist spas’.”
Amaya: “What do you mean? That’s where my friends are!”
Barton: “Do not fret. The danger is not crime. It is rashes and itchy spots. The sanitation of these substandard, counterfeit spas is most certainly skimped upon and their standards are fleeting at best.”
Amaya: “Nothing permanent, right?”
Barton: “Ointments and antibiotics do the trick, my lady.”
Doog: “Run, Mike!”
Mike: “What about our clothes?”
Doog: “I think they are trying to cook us! Screw our clothes!”
Boro: “Hmm, maybe I should have heated up the silt before they were inside.”
Slink: “Running a spa is hard, Boro.”
Boro: “If Sit’N Silt can’t get licensed, we stand no chance. Are you going to go get them?”
Slink: “Nah, they’ll find their way back.”
Mike: “What about our clothes?”
Doog: “I think they are trying to cook us! Screw our clothes!”
Boro: “Hmm, maybe I should have heated up the silt before they were inside.”
Slink: “Running a spa is hard, Boro.”
Boro: “If Sit’N Silt can’t get licensed, we stand no chance. Are you going to go get them?”
Slink: “Nah, they’ll find their way back.”
Amaya: “I don’t know about you guys, but I enjoyed Balnea.”
Oldie: “It wasn’t too bad. I feel a few days younger.”
Cam: “Six showers later, and I’m finally feeling better. I might stick to wet baths, by myself, rather than dry baths with a group.”
Seitse: “All that pampering sure makes a girl tired. That and the drinks…”
Amaya: “Ahem.”
Seitse: “…drinks of warm water, yikes. Is anyone else feeling itchy?”
Cam: “Everywhere.”
Amaya: “Nice recovery.”
Oldie: “When’s Doog and Mike getting back?”
Amaya: “I hear them now.”
Oldie: “It wasn’t too bad. I feel a few days younger.”
Cam: “Six showers later, and I’m finally feeling better. I might stick to wet baths, by myself, rather than dry baths with a group.”
Seitse: “All that pampering sure makes a girl tired. That and the drinks…”
Amaya: “Ahem.”
Seitse: “…drinks of warm water, yikes. Is anyone else feeling itchy?”
Cam: “Everywhere.”
Amaya: “Nice recovery.”
Oldie: “When’s Doog and Mike getting back?”
Amaya: “I hear them now.”
Amaya: “What happened to you two? Where are your clothes?”
Doog: “Balnea is a terrible, terrible place.”
Mike: “I think they lure tourists to the outskirts to cook them!”
Amaya: “Clearly there has been a misunderstanding. Nothing like that happens on Balnea. It’s a tourist spa planet.”
Doog: “They had blowtorches!”
Mike: “And they put us in bowls!”
Seitse: “Sounds like you might have found one of those unlicensed spas. They probably didn’t know what they were doing.”
Amaya: “Well, your safe now. Wrap this one up.”
Doog: “Don’t go cheap on Balnea. Oh, well. See ya!”
Note: Several beauty products are sold by Balnean companies, including gels, lotions, masks, and serums. All these products are useless, as the bacterium, Salinophyta Exorii, does not survive off-world. Even if it did, its useful chemical, Excorionase, breaks down within minutes of being created. This beauty industry accounts for 30% of Balnea’s economy.”
Doog: “Balnea is a terrible, terrible place.”
Mike: “I think they lure tourists to the outskirts to cook them!”
Amaya: “Clearly there has been a misunderstanding. Nothing like that happens on Balnea. It’s a tourist spa planet.”
Doog: “They had blowtorches!”
Mike: “And they put us in bowls!”
Seitse: “Sounds like you might have found one of those unlicensed spas. They probably didn’t know what they were doing.”
Amaya: “Well, your safe now. Wrap this one up.”
Doog: “Don’t go cheap on Balnea. Oh, well. See ya!”
Note: Several beauty products are sold by Balnean companies, including gels, lotions, masks, and serums. All these products are useless, as the bacterium, Salinophyta Exorii, does not survive off-world. Even if it did, its useful chemical, Excorionase, breaks down within minutes of being created. This beauty industry accounts for 30% of Balnea’s economy.”
