There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Vadum
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Vadum. Vadum is an outer-rim world known for its beautiful beaches and upper-class neighborhoods. One wouldn’t suspect this planet would have beaches, given it has no discernable oceans. Only small pockets of water dot the planet’s surface – the rest of the planet appears to be dry, mountainous deserts. Let’s head on down and see what’s going on.”
Doog: “Ok…someone lied to me. This does NOT look like an upper-class neighborhood. There’s a beach – I guess – but nothing like I imagined. I’m standing in a small, run-down village. If this is luxury housing, then I’m scared to see what the houses look like that I could afford.”
Doog: “Uh…hey you, guy with the basket and ragged clothes.”
Guy: “You talking to me?”
Doog: “I guess ragged clothes wasn’t a great descriptor in this town, but, yes, I’m talking to you.”
Guy: “What do you want? I’m busy.”
Doog: “Is this where all the rich and famous elite-citizens live?”
Guy: “Ha. Yeah. Sure is. It has all the amenities.”
Doog: “For real?”
Guy: “Yeah, even the Emperor lives here.”
Doog: “Ok, now I know you’re lying.”
Guy: “Of course I am. What about this village screams rich and famous?”
Doog: “Maybe I’m on the wrong planet? Or wrong part of the planet? You don’t know a guy named, Correpo, do you?”
Guy: “I know him. Wish I didn’t, though. He has a few more credits than the rest of us and it’s gone to his head. You won’t find a more arrogant, egotistical jerk on this planet. Speaking of which, I see him coming now.”
Guy: “You talking to me?”
Doog: “I guess ragged clothes wasn’t a great descriptor in this town, but, yes, I’m talking to you.”
Guy: “What do you want? I’m busy.”
Doog: “Is this where all the rich and famous elite-citizens live?”
Guy: “Ha. Yeah. Sure is. It has all the amenities.”
Doog: “For real?”
Guy: “Yeah, even the Emperor lives here.”
Doog: “Ok, now I know you’re lying.”
Guy: “Of course I am. What about this village screams rich and famous?”
Doog: “Maybe I’m on the wrong planet? Or wrong part of the planet? You don’t know a guy named, Correpo, do you?”
Guy: “I know him. Wish I didn’t, though. He has a few more credits than the rest of us and it’s gone to his head. You won’t find a more arrogant, egotistical jerk on this planet. Speaking of which, I see him coming now.”
Correpo: “You must be Doog. You brought the cash, right?”
Doog: “Uh, what?”
Correpo: “The cash, the credits, the moolah, the dinero.”
Doog: “I didn’t bring any credits. I figured my producers paid up front.”
Correpo: “Yeah, well, they paid the basic fees. If you want to see the good stuff, get out that extra cash.”
Doog: “I have some pocket lint – that’s about it.”
Correpo: “You didn’t bring any extra money?”
Doog: “No, the crew would never trust me with hard currency. I might have made it rain at the strip clubs too many times.”
Correpo: “Great. Well, basic experience it is.”
Doog: “Uh, what?”
Correpo: “The cash, the credits, the moolah, the dinero.”
Doog: “I didn’t bring any credits. I figured my producers paid up front.”
Correpo: “Yeah, well, they paid the basic fees. If you want to see the good stuff, get out that extra cash.”
Doog: “I have some pocket lint – that’s about it.”
Correpo: “You didn’t bring any extra money?”
Doog: “No, the crew would never trust me with hard currency. I might have made it rain at the strip clubs too many times.”
Correpo: “Great. Well, basic experience it is.”
Doog: “Even if I had money, I’m not sure I’d waste it on this place. What is there to see? Squalor? Grime? Ragged clothing?”
Correpo: “Well, we’re not to the good stuff, yet. Vadum is a diverse place. Well, economically diverse. Biologically, the ecosystems are pretty similar.”
Doog: “All the pools look like this?”
Correpo: “Yeah. The lakes are remnants of a larger freshwater sea that covered a lot of the planet. Millennia ago, the water evaporated and was lost to space. Now, we’re left with these smaller lakes.”
Doog: “So, since they were all once connected, they have the same type of life.”
Correpo: “Same aquatic plants. Same creatures.”
Doog: “Creatures?”
Correpo: “Mostly plankton and filter-feeding crustaceans. The locals subsist off a crustacean called, Pelyop. That’s what they’re catching with those baskets.”
Correpo: “Well, we’re not to the good stuff, yet. Vadum is a diverse place. Well, economically diverse. Biologically, the ecosystems are pretty similar.”
Doog: “All the pools look like this?”
Correpo: “Yeah. The lakes are remnants of a larger freshwater sea that covered a lot of the planet. Millennia ago, the water evaporated and was lost to space. Now, we’re left with these smaller lakes.”
Doog: “So, since they were all once connected, they have the same type of life.”
Correpo: “Same aquatic plants. Same creatures.”
Doog: “Creatures?”
Correpo: “Mostly plankton and filter-feeding crustaceans. The locals subsist off a crustacean called, Pelyop. That’s what they’re catching with those baskets.”
Doog: “The locals – and yourself – evolved from these Pelyop?”
Correpo: “Ha. No. My people are not native to Vadum?”
Doog: “You chose to come here? Why?”
Correpo: “I wouldn’t really say we chose to come here. Our ancestors were brought here as labor.”
Doog: “To catch Pelyop?”
Correpo: “No, to build the mansions of the rich and powerful.”
Doog: “So, there really are upper-class neighborhoods on Vadum?”
Correpo: “Yes. Of course, there’s little construction work left these days. The LIU hasn’t relocated us yet. Perhaps we’re here for occasional maintenance. Perhaps they forgot about us. Who knows? All I know, there’s not a lot of credits flowing through this part of Vadum these days.”
Doog: “That’s why everyone here looks so poor.”
Correpo: “All they have are Pelyop and the clothes on their backs.”
Correpo: “Ha. No. My people are not native to Vadum?”
Doog: “You chose to come here? Why?”
Correpo: “I wouldn’t really say we chose to come here. Our ancestors were brought here as labor.”
Doog: “To catch Pelyop?”
Correpo: “No, to build the mansions of the rich and powerful.”
Doog: “So, there really are upper-class neighborhoods on Vadum?”
Correpo: “Yes. Of course, there’s little construction work left these days. The LIU hasn’t relocated us yet. Perhaps we’re here for occasional maintenance. Perhaps they forgot about us. Who knows? All I know, there’s not a lot of credits flowing through this part of Vadum these days.”
Doog: “That’s why everyone here looks so poor.”
Correpo: “All they have are Pelyop and the clothes on their backs.”
Doog: “How are you not poor, then?”
Correpo: “Some of us have found alternative ways to make money. Me, I’m a coyote, or a person smuggler. You want to get close to the rich and famous? I’m your guy. I know all the ways in, and I know where all the biggest names live.”
Doog: “People pay you to get them into these rich neighborhoods?”
Correpo: “Yep. Paparazzi, fan boys, media personnel – you name it, I’ve escorted them. Heck, I’ve made a ton of money in the stalker industry too. They pay really good. Speaking of which, are you one of those stalkers? If so, I WILL need that extra moolah.”
Doog: “No, I’m in the media category.”
Correpo: “I guess looks can be deceiving.”
Doog: “What does that mean?”
Correpo: “You look like the stalker type.”
Doog: “Gee thanks.”
Correpo: “Some of us have found alternative ways to make money. Me, I’m a coyote, or a person smuggler. You want to get close to the rich and famous? I’m your guy. I know all the ways in, and I know where all the biggest names live.”
Doog: “People pay you to get them into these rich neighborhoods?”
Correpo: “Yep. Paparazzi, fan boys, media personnel – you name it, I’ve escorted them. Heck, I’ve made a ton of money in the stalker industry too. They pay really good. Speaking of which, are you one of those stalkers? If so, I WILL need that extra moolah.”
Doog: “No, I’m in the media category.”
Correpo: “I guess looks can be deceiving.”
Doog: “What does that mean?”
Correpo: “You look like the stalker type.”
Doog: “Gee thanks.”
Doog: “I’m starting to see why the others around here don’t like you.”
Correpo: “Still upset that you look like a stalker?”
Doog: “I don’t look like a stalker!”
Correpo: “Ok, ok. So, you talked to some of the locals before we met, huh?”
Doog: “They said you were arrogant and egotistical. Oh, and they said you don’t know what stalkers look like.”
Correpo: “Ha. I bet. Some of the locals might be a little jealous of me. I can afford to trim my eyebrows and fix my teeth. I can get new clothes and other little luxuries. Don’t listen to those haters.”
Correpo: “Still upset that you look like a stalker?”
Doog: “I don’t look like a stalker!”
Correpo: “Ok, ok. So, you talked to some of the locals before we met, huh?”
Doog: “They said you were arrogant and egotistical. Oh, and they said you don’t know what stalkers look like.”
Correpo: “Ha. I bet. Some of the locals might be a little jealous of me. I can afford to trim my eyebrows and fix my teeth. I can get new clothes and other little luxuries. Don’t listen to those haters.”
Doog: “Whoa. Who’s hovercar is this? Did one of the rich and famous people accidentally come here?’
Correpo: “No, that’s my ride.”
Doog: “All the people struggling to live day to day and you have a…a…”
Correpo: “…Supercharged Sunbeam RX76. She goes from zero to a hundred in five seconds.”
Doog: “I can see why people don’t like you.”
Correpo: “No, that’s my ride.”
Doog: “All the people struggling to live day to day and you have a…a…”
Correpo: “…Supercharged Sunbeam RX76. She goes from zero to a hundred in five seconds.”
Doog: “I can see why people don’t like you.”
Doog: “For the price of this hovercar, you could have bought the whole village new clothes or fed them something other than shrimp for a few months.”
Correpo: “The elite neighborhoods of Vadum are far from my village. I needed something fast to make the trips easier. Besides, it’s my money. I can do anything I want with it. Capitalism, baby! Now, let’s see what this bad boy can do!”
Doog: “Holy Emperor, the acceleration on this thing is crazy! I think my eyeballs can see what my brain looks like…from the inside.”
Correpo: “The elite neighborhoods of Vadum are far from my village. I needed something fast to make the trips easier. Besides, it’s my money. I can do anything I want with it. Capitalism, baby! Now, let’s see what this bad boy can do!”
Doog: “Holy Emperor, the acceleration on this thing is crazy! I think my eyeballs can see what my brain looks like…from the inside.”
Correpo: “Here we are. Lake VII.”
Doog: “Lake VII?”
Correpo: “That’s this neighborhood’s designation. I think this one is actually called Lily Meadows or some junk like that.”
Doog: “There’s more than one neighborhood?”
Correpo: “Oh, there’s several. Lake VII is more for B-List Celebrities. Since you’re not ponying up the extra cash, that’s all you get. If you want to see someone like Maddie from the Soap Buckets or Spiffy Thompson, you need to show me the money”
Doog: “I’m fine with B-list.”
Correpo: “Fair enough. Then all we need to do is hop this wall.”
Doog: “Lake VII?”
Correpo: “That’s this neighborhood’s designation. I think this one is actually called Lily Meadows or some junk like that.”
Doog: “There’s more than one neighborhood?”
Correpo: “Oh, there’s several. Lake VII is more for B-List Celebrities. Since you’re not ponying up the extra cash, that’s all you get. If you want to see someone like Maddie from the Soap Buckets or Spiffy Thompson, you need to show me the money”
Doog: “I’m fine with B-list.”
Correpo: “Fair enough. Then all we need to do is hop this wall.”
Doog: “It seems sort of easy. I mean it’s not easy for someone fat – like myself – but easy. This wall is only like seven feet tall.”
Correpo: “Security varies from lake to lake. This one’s not too bad. Again, there’s nobody too important in this neighborhood. Security here is minimal.”
Doog: “Anything else I need to know?”
Correpo: “Once we get inside, try to act like you fit in. Do it right, and no one will second guess your presence. Also, maybe look less stalker-like.”
Doog: “I don’t look like a stalker!”
Correpo: “Security varies from lake to lake. This one’s not too bad. Again, there’s nobody too important in this neighborhood. Security here is minimal.”
Doog: “Anything else I need to know?”
Correpo: “Once we get inside, try to act like you fit in. Do it right, and no one will second guess your presence. Also, maybe look less stalker-like.”
Doog: “I don’t look like a stalker!”
Doog: “Now, this is what I imagined when I was told Vadum has upper-class neighborhoods.”
Correpo: “There’s some nice houses here, but you should see some of the more extravagant lake mansions for the real celebrities and social elite. If you have the cash, I can…”
Doog: “I honestly have no money.”
Correpo: “Fine.”
Correpo: “There’s some nice houses here, but you should see some of the more extravagant lake mansions for the real celebrities and social elite. If you have the cash, I can…”
Doog: “I honestly have no money.”
Correpo: “Fine.”
Doog: “What makes Vadum so special? Why would the elite want to live here?”
Correpo: “Vadum is secluded. Its far from other major planets, but close enough to hyperspace routes to be travel friendly. The weather is nice. The beaches are pristine. The lakes are shallow and swimmable. There are no serious dangers from predators or pirates. Vadum has its merits.”
Doog: “I guess.”
Correpo: “Vadum is secluded. Its far from other major planets, but close enough to hyperspace routes to be travel friendly. The weather is nice. The beaches are pristine. The lakes are shallow and swimmable. There are no serious dangers from predators or pirates. Vadum has its merits.”
Doog: “I guess.”
Girl: “Hey guys! Look! There’s two people walking over there and one looks like a stalker! Get security!”
Big: “Whoa darling. I love it when you scream in fear, but we’re not in the bedroom.”
Girl: “Seriously, Big. Over there!”
Big: “Hey, I think I know that stalker-looking guy. Doog? Is that you?”
Doog: “Yeah, it’s me. Big Adams? Is that you? You live here?”
Big: “Yeah, buddy, it’s me. I stay here from time to time.”
Doog: “Can I come over there?”
Big: “Sure! If you’re doing some stalking, I want in.”
Doog: “I’m not a STALKER!”
Big: “Whoa darling. I love it when you scream in fear, but we’re not in the bedroom.”
Girl: “Seriously, Big. Over there!”
Big: “Hey, I think I know that stalker-looking guy. Doog? Is that you?”
Doog: “Yeah, it’s me. Big Adams? Is that you? You live here?”
Big: “Yeah, buddy, it’s me. I stay here from time to time.”
Doog: “Can I come over there?”
Big: “Sure! If you’re doing some stalking, I want in.”
Doog: “I’m not a STALKER!”
Big: “Doog, pal. It’s been years since we’ve crossed paths. How’s it swinging?”
Doog: “Things are pretty much the same for me. You?”
Big: “I added a few thousand ladies to my achievement list, pretty par for the course.”
Doog: “Why do I get so depressed after we hang out?”
Big: “Don’t fret, Doog. I’m sure I can arrange something for you with one of these ladies. What’s your type?”
Doog: “These days? Anything alive.”
Big: “Ooh, I’m not sure I can help you with that. Just kidding! All my lady friends are alive…at the moment.”
Doog: “Before I get overwhelmed with false hope, can I ask you a few things?”
Big: “As long as it’s not about that zoo incident. Otherwise, shoot.”
Doog: “Why Vadum?”
Big: “To be honest, I don’t know. The lily pads are cool I guess.”
Doog: “That’s it?”
Big: “I needed a fourth house, and everyone that’s anyone in this galaxy has a place here, so I guess I just wanted to fit in.”
Doog: “A fourth house…depression returning. I mean…uh…so, you just live here because it’s the cool thing to do?”
Big: “Yeah, mostly. I mean, that’s why you moved here, isn’t it?”
Doog: “I don’t live here.”
Big: “How did you get in here, then?”
Doog: “This guy snuck me in.”
Correpo: “Uh…ixnay on the sneaking thing.”
Big: “Well, bud. You can obviously stay, but we need to get security for your buddy. Meet me inside after you wrap it up – the episode – not your junk. We don’t use protection in this house.”
Doog: “Things are pretty much the same for me. You?”
Big: “I added a few thousand ladies to my achievement list, pretty par for the course.”
Doog: “Why do I get so depressed after we hang out?”
Big: “Don’t fret, Doog. I’m sure I can arrange something for you with one of these ladies. What’s your type?”
Doog: “These days? Anything alive.”
Big: “Ooh, I’m not sure I can help you with that. Just kidding! All my lady friends are alive…at the moment.”
Doog: “Before I get overwhelmed with false hope, can I ask you a few things?”
Big: “As long as it’s not about that zoo incident. Otherwise, shoot.”
Doog: “Why Vadum?”
Big: “To be honest, I don’t know. The lily pads are cool I guess.”
Doog: “That’s it?”
Big: “I needed a fourth house, and everyone that’s anyone in this galaxy has a place here, so I guess I just wanted to fit in.”
Doog: “A fourth house…depression returning. I mean…uh…so, you just live here because it’s the cool thing to do?”
Big: “Yeah, mostly. I mean, that’s why you moved here, isn’t it?”
Doog: “I don’t live here.”
Big: “How did you get in here, then?”
Doog: “This guy snuck me in.”
Correpo: “Uh…ixnay on the sneaking thing.”
Big: “Well, bud. You can obviously stay, but we need to get security for your buddy. Meet me inside after you wrap it up – the episode – not your junk. We don’t use protection in this house.”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s Vadum. This remote world is home to some the galaxy’s poorest and richest citizens, and both are here for the beaches. The poor, imported workers need the beaches to catch food. The rich need it to catch some rays and hang out with their socially elite friends. Luckily for me, I found out my old friend, Big Adams, lives here. Unluckily for Correpo, he has to run. Who looks like the stalker now?! You better run! Oh well, see ya!”
Note: Big Adams is a LIU socialite and former adult movie star. Besides appearing in five episodes of LIU Atlas (Pelago, Niflheim, Alea, Tropaeum, and Vadum), Mr. Adams has appeared in over ten thousand adult films, including: Juicing a Flingarian, Anaconda in My Pants, and Night at the Zoo.
Note: Big Adams is a LIU socialite and former adult movie star. Besides appearing in five episodes of LIU Atlas (Pelago, Niflheim, Alea, Tropaeum, and Vadum), Mr. Adams has appeared in over ten thousand adult films, including: Juicing a Flingarian, Anaconda in My Pants, and Night at the Zoo.
