There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Anhelo
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Anhelo. Anhelo is a warm, wet planet covered in rivers, wetlands, and dense vegetation. There are some mountainous desert areas, but we’re not concerned with those. We want to see the swamps. Wow, I’d bet good money that I’m the first person to mutter that sentence. Oh well, let’s head on down and see what we find.”
Doog: “Anhelo doesn’t have any modern cities, at least, it doesn’t have any modern cities built by the LIU. There are large pharmaceutical facilities spread across Anhelo, though. These medical factories harvest the local foliage and convert it into various medicines. I’m standing outside one such facility right now. Judging by the signage, this facility specializes in making Anhō. If I’m still up to date on all my drug knowledge, Anhō is an antidepressant.”
Doog: “It appears this facility is situated near a large lake. I can’t say for certain, but I think this was intentional. There looks to be large intake vents sucking in the lake water. Are these pills made from lake sludge? Or is the sludge the byproduct of making the pills? I guess I’ll have to wait for my guide to find out.”
Worker: “Hey, pal, could you talk to yourself somewhere else? We’re trying to move product out to the landing pad.”
Doog: “I’m not talking to myself. I’m doing a TV show.”
Worker: “Sure you are. Did you by chance escape the medical testing clinic? Do I need to get you some help?”
Doog: “I’m not crazy!”
Worker: “Of course, of course. Lots of people stand in random parts of the facility and talk to themselves…for a ‘TV show’. It’s totally normal.”
Doog: “I’m not talking to myself! This is really a show!”
Worker: “No need to shout. Just calm down. Let’s find out where you escaped from…”
Doog: “I’m not talking to myself. I’m doing a TV show.”
Worker: “Sure you are. Did you by chance escape the medical testing clinic? Do I need to get you some help?”
Doog: “I’m not crazy!”
Worker: “Of course, of course. Lots of people stand in random parts of the facility and talk to themselves…for a ‘TV show’. It’s totally normal.”
Doog: “I’m not talking to myself! This is really a show!”
Worker: “No need to shout. Just calm down. Let’s find out where you escaped from…”
Iris: “It’s ok. He’s with me.”
Doog: “Yeah! I’m with her! Wait…who are you?”
Iris: “I’m your guide. I’m Iris.”
Doog: “Yeah! I’m with Iris. I’m not talking to myself.”
Iris: “I’m not sure what I walked into, but maybe we should start over. I’m Iris. I’m a researcher with the Anhō Division. You must be Doog.”
Doog: “That’s me. I’m a totally sane TV personality that doesn’t talk to himself.”
Iris: “Nice to meet you.”
Doog: “Nice to meet you too.”
Iris: “Should we head inside?”
Doog: “Yeah! I’m with her! Wait…who are you?”
Iris: “I’m your guide. I’m Iris.”
Doog: “Yeah! I’m with Iris. I’m not talking to myself.”
Iris: “I’m not sure what I walked into, but maybe we should start over. I’m Iris. I’m a researcher with the Anhō Division. You must be Doog.”
Doog: “That’s me. I’m a totally sane TV personality that doesn’t talk to himself.”
Iris: “Nice to meet you.”
Doog: “Nice to meet you too.”
Iris: “Should we head inside?”
Iris: “The Anhō Division is a LIU pharmaceutical company. We specialize in the antidepressant medication, Anhō, which is derived from a local plant. Anhō is a popular prescription drug. It’s estimated that a tenth of the galaxy is taking some form of mood enhancement medications, and a percentage of those are taking Anhō.”
Doog: “Yeah, it’s popular enough. I’ve seen all the TV commercials. Green means go…blah…blah…blah.”
Iris: “Exactly. Given its popularity, there are hundreds of processing facilities on Anhelo making Anhō. This is one such facility.”
Doog: “Yeah, it’s popular enough. I’ve seen all the TV commercials. Green means go…blah…blah…blah.”
Iris: “Exactly. Given its popularity, there are hundreds of processing facilities on Anhelo making Anhō. This is one such facility.”
Doog: “What is Anhō?”
Iris: “Anhō is a piperidine benzodioxol derived from the diaspore of the lichen species, Green Wort.”
Doog: “Translate that to basic, please...”
Iris: “Oh, my apologies. Anhō is a chemical made from the seed spore of a local lichen. The chemical is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor…er…it regulates feel-good chemicals in the brain.”
Doog: “I could use some right now if you’re going to keep speaking all scientific.”
Iris: “Sorry, I’m used to speaking to other industry professionals.”
Iris: “Anhō is a piperidine benzodioxol derived from the diaspore of the lichen species, Green Wort.”
Doog: “Translate that to basic, please...”
Iris: “Oh, my apologies. Anhō is a chemical made from the seed spore of a local lichen. The chemical is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor…er…it regulates feel-good chemicals in the brain.”
Doog: “I could use some right now if you’re going to keep speaking all scientific.”
Iris: “Sorry, I’m used to speaking to other industry professionals.”
Doog: “So, how is it made?”
Iris: “Green Wort lichens launch reproductive spores into the atmosphere. Because Green Wort tends to grow near rivers, streams, and lakes, most of these spores end up in the water. We filter local water sources, isolate the diaspores, and collect them. After that, it’s simple chemistry. I won’t go too much into that given your lack of scientific understanding.”
Doog: “You’re a saint.”
Iris: “Our facility wrings enough SSRI chemicals from this local lake to make hundreds of thousands of pills a day. Combined with our hundreds of partner facilities, Anhelo produces several billion pills a day. It’s barely enough to meet demand.”
Doog: “There’s a lot of unhappy people in this galaxy? I’d never guess…”
Iris: “Increasing production means more facilities, but too many facilities impact the environment and endanger the Green Wort species. It’s a fine line between production and sustainability.”
Doog: “We don’t need a happy-pill shortage in the galaxy. It’s miserable enough most days.”
Iris: “Don’t worry, researchers like me are searching for solutions. Let’s head out of the facility, and I’ll show you some of my work.”
Doog: “Lead the way.”
Iris: “Green Wort lichens launch reproductive spores into the atmosphere. Because Green Wort tends to grow near rivers, streams, and lakes, most of these spores end up in the water. We filter local water sources, isolate the diaspores, and collect them. After that, it’s simple chemistry. I won’t go too much into that given your lack of scientific understanding.”
Doog: “You’re a saint.”
Iris: “Our facility wrings enough SSRI chemicals from this local lake to make hundreds of thousands of pills a day. Combined with our hundreds of partner facilities, Anhelo produces several billion pills a day. It’s barely enough to meet demand.”
Doog: “There’s a lot of unhappy people in this galaxy? I’d never guess…”
Iris: “Increasing production means more facilities, but too many facilities impact the environment and endanger the Green Wort species. It’s a fine line between production and sustainability.”
Doog: “We don’t need a happy-pill shortage in the galaxy. It’s miserable enough most days.”
Iris: “Don’t worry, researchers like me are searching for solutions. Let’s head out of the facility, and I’ll show you some of my work.”
Doog: “Lead the way.”
Doog: “So, the waterways are all green because of the lichen spores?”
Iris: “Yes, mostly. Some of the color comes from other cyanobacteria species present in the water.”
Iris: “Yes, mostly. Some of the color comes from other cyanobacteria species present in the water.”
Iris: “These are the Green Wort lichens I mentioned before.”
Doog: “These green mushroom-things? I didn’t know lichens were fungi.”
Iris: “Not to get too scientific, but lichen species are both cyanobacteria and fungi. It’s a composite organism where the two share a symbiotic relationship.”
Doog: “I’m not sure what you’re saying, but I’m not going to ask any further questions. The viewers can research lichens on their own time. I am interested in your research, though. Tell me about that.”
Iris: “I study other organisms on Anhelo, searching for both new medicines and alternative sources of Green Wort SSRI chemicals.”
Doog: “Found anything?”
Iris: “There’s a few things in the works.”
Doog: “These green mushroom-things? I didn’t know lichens were fungi.”
Iris: “Not to get too scientific, but lichen species are both cyanobacteria and fungi. It’s a composite organism where the two share a symbiotic relationship.”
Doog: “I’m not sure what you’re saying, but I’m not going to ask any further questions. The viewers can research lichens on their own time. I am interested in your research, though. Tell me about that.”
Iris: “I study other organisms on Anhelo, searching for both new medicines and alternative sources of Green Wort SSRI chemicals.”
Doog: “Found anything?”
Iris: “There’s a few things in the works.”
Iris: “The natives have been extremely helpful in locating useful organisms. They’ve been making various medicines from the wildlife for centuries.”
Doog: “Anhelo has a native race?”
Iris: “Yes, we call them the Anhelians. If you’re up for it, we can visit with them for a bit.”
Doog: “I think my job description forces me to be ‘up for it’. Let’s check them out.”
Iris: “Try to keep a few things in mind during our visit. The locals are on good terms with the LIU. We want to keep it that way.”
Doog: “Don’t start a rebellion. Got it.”
Iris: “The natives are pretty advanced, especially culturally, but they lack technology. Don’t give them any technology. Technology might lead the Anhelians into conflict with the LIU or it might cause environmental damage. The Anhō Division can afford neither.”
Doog: “I have nothing to give, and, even if I did, I’m not cheap.”
Iris: “Finally, don’t take drugs.”
Doog: “That might be a challenging one. No promises.”
Iris: “Seriously, though. The natives use a lot of native foliage to make various medicines. They are generous and will certainly offer you something. Most of these medicines have not been tested. It could be dangerous.”
Doog: “Well, I’ll follow the first two for sure. That third rule might be a bit more difficult.”
Iris: “Don’t be stupid, please.”
Doog: “Anhelo has a native race?”
Iris: “Yes, we call them the Anhelians. If you’re up for it, we can visit with them for a bit.”
Doog: “I think my job description forces me to be ‘up for it’. Let’s check them out.”
Iris: “Try to keep a few things in mind during our visit. The locals are on good terms with the LIU. We want to keep it that way.”
Doog: “Don’t start a rebellion. Got it.”
Iris: “The natives are pretty advanced, especially culturally, but they lack technology. Don’t give them any technology. Technology might lead the Anhelians into conflict with the LIU or it might cause environmental damage. The Anhō Division can afford neither.”
Doog: “I have nothing to give, and, even if I did, I’m not cheap.”
Iris: “Finally, don’t take drugs.”
Doog: “That might be a challenging one. No promises.”
Iris: “Seriously, though. The natives use a lot of native foliage to make various medicines. They are generous and will certainly offer you something. Most of these medicines have not been tested. It could be dangerous.”
Doog: “Well, I’ll follow the first two for sure. That third rule might be a bit more difficult.”
Iris: “Don’t be stupid, please.”
Native: “Welcome back to Itenard, Iris. I see you brought company.”
Iris: “Thank you. Yes, this is…”
Doog: “Give me all the drugs!”
Iris: “…Doog! Stop it!”
Native: “Give you all the what?”
Iris: “Ignore him! I’m so sorry.”
Doog: “Uh, yeah. Sorry. I lost control for a bit.”
Iris: “Anyway, if she’s available, we’d like to meet with the priestess.”
Native: “Of course. Follow me.”
Iris: “Thank you. Yes, this is…”
Doog: “Give me all the drugs!”
Iris: “…Doog! Stop it!”
Native: “Give you all the what?”
Iris: “Ignore him! I’m so sorry.”
Doog: “Uh, yeah. Sorry. I lost control for a bit.”
Iris: “Anyway, if she’s available, we’d like to meet with the priestess.”
Native: “Of course. Follow me.”
Iris: “What was that back there! I said NOT to do any drugs! You certainly weren’t supposed to scream and beg for them!”
Doog: “I lack self-control. What can I say?”
Iris: “Just say ‘no’!”
Doog: “Alright. Alright. So, we’re here to visit a priestess?”
Iris: “Yes. In Anhelian culture, the priestess has many roles. Besides the primary role of religious leader, the priestess is the chief herbalist and healthcare specialist. She has knowledge of many local organisms and their medicinal uses. Researchers, like me, meet and discuss medicines with the local priestesses to find new products.”
Doog: “I lack self-control. What can I say?”
Iris: “Just say ‘no’!”
Doog: “Alright. Alright. So, we’re here to visit a priestess?”
Iris: “Yes. In Anhelian culture, the priestess has many roles. Besides the primary role of religious leader, the priestess is the chief herbalist and healthcare specialist. She has knowledge of many local organisms and their medicinal uses. Researchers, like me, meet and discuss medicines with the local priestesses to find new products.”
Native: “Your friend seems tense, Iris. Perhaps he’d like a hit of Olsamide before meeting the priestess. It will ease his nerves.”
Doog: “That sounds amaz…”
Iris: “No! He’s fine! Thank you! We’ll head inside now!”
Doog: “You’re a real buzzkill.”
Doog: “That sounds amaz…”
Iris: “No! He’s fine! Thank you! We’ll head inside now!”
Doog: “You’re a real buzzkill.”
Hiereiai: “Iris, you’ve returned. I’m glad to see you. Shall we continue our lessons?”
Iris: “Another time, perhaps. I’m just showing this guy around the village. I brought him here to meet you. Hiereiai, this is Doog. Doog, Hiereiai.”
Hiereiai: “Pleasure to meet you, Doog.”
Doog: “Speaking of pleasure, do you want to offer me…”
Iris: “Doog!”
Doog: “Fine! Keep all the drugs for yourself!”
Iris: “Another time, perhaps. I’m just showing this guy around the village. I brought him here to meet you. Hiereiai, this is Doog. Doog, Hiereiai.”
Hiereiai: “Pleasure to meet you, Doog.”
Doog: “Speaking of pleasure, do you want to offer me…”
Iris: “Doog!”
Doog: “Fine! Keep all the drugs for yourself!”
Hiereiai: “Is something wrong, Iris?”
Iris: “No, of course not. I was just telling Doog about our relationship. Priestesses share medicinal knowledge with LIU researchers. We use this knowledge to make new or better pharmaceuticals. Doog doesn’t seem to realize that there are several steps between our sharing of knowledge and actually ingesting the medicines. We need to check bio-compatibility, side-effects, dependence factors, and a myriad of other things before we take these new medicines.”
Doog: “I’ll be the guinea pig. Give me something.”
Iris: “That’s NOT how it works!”
Iris: “No, of course not. I was just telling Doog about our relationship. Priestesses share medicinal knowledge with LIU researchers. We use this knowledge to make new or better pharmaceuticals. Doog doesn’t seem to realize that there are several steps between our sharing of knowledge and actually ingesting the medicines. We need to check bio-compatibility, side-effects, dependence factors, and a myriad of other things before we take these new medicines.”
Doog: “I’ll be the guinea pig. Give me something.”
Iris: “That’s NOT how it works!”
Hiereiai: “You two must quit quarreling. My temple is a place of peace. Let’s us pass around the Olsamide. It will bring this nonsense to an end.”
Iris: “I must decline, Olsamide hasn’t been tested on my species.”
Doog: “What about humans?”
Iris: “It hasn’t been tested on humans either!”
Doog: “I feel like it’s my civic duty to try it out, then.”
Iris: “Doog!”
Iris: “I must decline, Olsamide hasn’t been tested on my species.”
Doog: “What about humans?”
Iris: “It hasn’t been tested on humans either!”
Doog: “I feel like it’s my civic duty to try it out, then.”
Iris: “Doog!”
Iris: “You don’t know how many protocols you’re violating right now!”
Doog: “Yeah, yeah. Just be sure to take notes for the medical journals.”
Iris: “I can’t use this as research. We don’t have any baseline information on you! This isn’t helping anybody!”
Doog: “It’s helping me. I feel better already.”
Hiereiai: “It’s helping me too. Helping me block out all this bickering.”
Doog: “I guess you better stop complaining, Iris. Remember rule number one. We don’t want to endanger the relationship between the locals and the LIU.”
Iris: “You’re so infuriating! Let’s get this tour over with!”
Doog: “Yeah, yeah. Just be sure to take notes for the medical journals.”
Iris: “I can’t use this as research. We don’t have any baseline information on you! This isn’t helping anybody!”
Doog: “It’s helping me. I feel better already.”
Hiereiai: “It’s helping me too. Helping me block out all this bickering.”
Doog: “I guess you better stop complaining, Iris. Remember rule number one. We don’t want to endanger the relationship between the locals and the LIU.”
Iris: “You’re so infuriating! Let’s get this tour over with!”
Iris: “Did you really have to bring that smoking apparatus with you?”
Doog: “It’s called a bong – and the priestess said I could borrow it. I wasn’t feeling anything yet, so we decided I might need a larger dose.”
Iris: “I hope that’s because it’s not compatible with humans, and you went through all this nonsense for nothing.”
Doog: “It’s called a bong – and the priestess said I could borrow it. I wasn’t feeling anything yet, so we decided I might need a larger dose.”
Iris: “I hope that’s because it’s not compatible with humans, and you went through all this nonsense for nothing.”
Doog: “So, I see those Green Wort plants again. That’s cool.”
Iris: “They’re not plants, they’re lichens.”
Doog: “So, like, why are we looking at these Worts again?”
Iris: “We’re not looking at the Green Worts. We’re checking the Howa Mushrooms.”
Doog: “Are they super-small? I don’t see anything.”
Iris: “Did the Olsamide make you blind?! The mushrooms are huge. They are as tall as trees.”
Doog: “Oh, those things. Got it. Big mushrooms.”
Iris: “Howa mushrooms are closely related to Green Worts. They just lack the cyanobacteria. Because they are so closely related, we believe Howa mushrooms might be useful in collecting more SSRI’s. Essentially, they’d be an additional source.”
Iris: “They’re not plants, they’re lichens.”
Doog: “So, like, why are we looking at these Worts again?”
Iris: “We’re not looking at the Green Worts. We’re checking the Howa Mushrooms.”
Doog: “Are they super-small? I don’t see anything.”
Iris: “Did the Olsamide make you blind?! The mushrooms are huge. They are as tall as trees.”
Doog: “Oh, those things. Got it. Big mushrooms.”
Iris: “Howa mushrooms are closely related to Green Worts. They just lack the cyanobacteria. Because they are so closely related, we believe Howa mushrooms might be useful in collecting more SSRI’s. Essentially, they’d be an additional source.”
Doog: “Got it. Big shrooms make more happy-pills. Anything else to add?”
Iris: “You really have to quit smoking that stuff. You’re talking to a Howa Mushroom, not me.”
Doog: “Are you sure? I can see your pink hair.”
Iris: “That’s the cap of the mushroom.”
Doog: “Ha. I guess I am. Whoa, I feel really weird.”
Iris: “You really have to quit smoking that stuff. You’re talking to a Howa Mushroom, not me.”
Doog: “Are you sure? I can see your pink hair.”
Iris: “That’s the cap of the mushroom.”
Doog: “Ha. I guess I am. Whoa, I feel really weird.”
Doog: “Maybe I should quit smoking this – I think I lost control of my bladder. My pants are all wet.”
Iris: “Sigh. You’re standing in a puddle.”
Doog: “Am I?”
Iris: “Sigh. You’re standing in a puddle.”
Doog: “Am I?”
Doog: “It’s pretty hard to tell what’s going on. Everything looks really weird right now.”
Iris: “I’ll take this.”
Doog: “Have it. I don’t want any more Olsamide.”
Iris: “That’s wise. Olsamide is one of the least tested chemical substances used by the Anhelians. Who knows what’s happening in your body right now.”
Doog: “It feels pretty similar to other shroom-like drugs I’ve taken. Any chance Olsamide comes from these giant mushrooms?”
Iris: “Oh, you’re way off. The reason Olsamide is untested is because it’s hard to collect. It doesn’t come from foliage, fungi, or lichens. It comes from a member of the local fauna.”
Doog: “I was smoking an animal?”
Iris: “Part of one. Olsamide is dried mucus from the creature, Ulae Muneopus.”
Doog: “Ula-what?”
Iris: “That’s the scientific name. We call them…”
Doog: “Have it. I don’t want any more Olsamide.”
Iris: “That’s wise. Olsamide is one of the least tested chemical substances used by the Anhelians. Who knows what’s happening in your body right now.”
Doog: “It feels pretty similar to other shroom-like drugs I’ve taken. Any chance Olsamide comes from these giant mushrooms?”
Iris: “Oh, you’re way off. The reason Olsamide is untested is because it’s hard to collect. It doesn’t come from foliage, fungi, or lichens. It comes from a member of the local fauna.”
Doog: “I was smoking an animal?”
Iris: “Part of one. Olsamide is dried mucus from the creature, Ulae Muneopus.”
Doog: “Ula-what?”
Iris: “That’s the scientific name. We call them…”
Iris: “…Bog Boogers.”
Doog: “I was smoking mucus from a creature called a booger? Gross!”
Iris: “I warned you not to take things from the natives. Hey! Look! There’s one now.”
Doog: “Tell me the Olsamide is still coursing through my system, and I’m not really seeing a floating booger.”
Iris: “I have no idea what you’re actually seeing, but, yes, Ulae Muneopus look similar to boogers. That’s why we call them that.”
Doog: “Is it really floating or is that the drugs?”
Iris: “It’s really floating. Bog Boogers trap helium gases within their bodies, allowing them to float.”
Doog: “It’s getting sort of close. Am I in danger?”
Iris: “You’re not in immediate danger. Bog Boogers are herbivores. They float around and eat various vegetation. However, you could possibly be in some form of danger – you smoked dried mucus from this creature.”
Doog: “I should have listened…”
Doog: “I was smoking mucus from a creature called a booger? Gross!”
Iris: “I warned you not to take things from the natives. Hey! Look! There’s one now.”
Doog: “Tell me the Olsamide is still coursing through my system, and I’m not really seeing a floating booger.”
Iris: “I have no idea what you’re actually seeing, but, yes, Ulae Muneopus look similar to boogers. That’s why we call them that.”
Doog: “Is it really floating or is that the drugs?”
Iris: “It’s really floating. Bog Boogers trap helium gases within their bodies, allowing them to float.”
Doog: “It’s getting sort of close. Am I in danger?”
Iris: “You’re not in immediate danger. Bog Boogers are herbivores. They float around and eat various vegetation. However, you could possibly be in some form of danger – you smoked dried mucus from this creature.”
Doog: “I should have listened…”
Iris: “There are numerous chemical compounds on Anhelo that are of interest to the LIU, but Olsamide is not one of them. Smokable psychedelic creature phlegm doesn’t seem to have a big market. And, we don’t even know if it’s safe. I guess we’ll see if you survive.”
Doog: “I should be freaking out, but I feel pretty calm. Maybe Olsamide has its uses. Like, anti-anxiety meds or something.”
Iris: “Time will tell. Good luck. Let me know if you survived.”
Doog: “I will. I have one favor to ask before you go.”
Iris: “What?”
Doog: “Can you point me towards the camera or somewhere in that general direction?”
Iris: “Sure.”
Doog: “I should be freaking out, but I feel pretty calm. Maybe Olsamide has its uses. Like, anti-anxiety meds or something.”
Iris: “Time will tell. Good luck. Let me know if you survived.”
Doog: “I will. I have one favor to ask before you go.”
Iris: “What?”
Doog: “Can you point me towards the camera or somewhere in that general direction?”
Iris: “Sure.”
Doog: “Well folks, this has been an eye-opening experience. No, really, I can’t close my eyes. I think I forgot how to blink. Oh, wait. There we go. I can still blink. Where was I? Oh, Anhelo’s wildlife contains many useful chemicals that the LIU is converting into various medicines. The most widely produced medicine is Anhō, an antidepressant, but there’s plenty more to be discovered here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stand here for a few hours until I can see properly again. Oh well, see ya!”
Note:
Dear Iris,
This is Doog. It’s been six days, and I’m still alive. I don’t believe I have any permanent brain damage from my experimental use of that Olsamide (sp?). I have been writing down various side-effects, so you can include the information in a medical journal. Please give me credit for any discoveries this unlocks. Also, if you feel inclined, you can send me a portion of any prize money. Here are the side-effects I experienced:
Best regards,
Terrance “Doog” McDoogal
Note:
Dear Iris,
This is Doog. It’s been six days, and I’m still alive. I don’t believe I have any permanent brain damage from my experimental use of that Olsamide (sp?). I have been writing down various side-effects, so you can include the information in a medical journal. Please give me credit for any discoveries this unlocks. Also, if you feel inclined, you can send me a portion of any prize money. Here are the side-effects I experienced:
- Hotdog Fingers (my fingers stayed the same shape, but they smell like hotdogs)
- Hairy Elbows (my right elbow seems hairier)
- Oily Flatulence (in six days, I have a 50% incidence of skidmarks)
- Love Life Disruptions (I have not found a girlfriend or wife since taking the experimental drug – this might not be drug related)
- Blinking Difficulties (I seem to have problems remembering to blink – this might just be in my head though)
Best regards,
Terrance “Doog” McDoogal
