There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Suilli
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another special edition episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the agricultural planet, Suilli. Like with most special edition episodes, we’ll be focusing on Suilli’s unique culture instead of its economy.”
Doog: “Suilli has a lot of arable land – most devoted to livestock pastures. Here, farmers raise Beemu, the planet’s native porcine species. These massive, pig-like beasts have a lot of meat, and it’s very similar to pork. In other words, there are huge bacon vessels wandering about here. Consider me intrigued about their culture. Please be a bacon culture!”
Doog: “There are small towns positioned throughout the planet’s pastures. Most of these towns are centered around meat-processing plants. It’s here that the Beemu are turned into delicious porcine products, like Beemu Chops, Bam, and Beecon.”
Doog: “These smaller towns all feed into Suilli’s largest city, Scrofa. Scrofa, positioned near the planet’s equator, is Suilli’s primary spaceport. It’s here that Beemu products are shipped to the rest of the galaxy. Scrofa is a large, modern city. Being here, you almost forget you’re on an agricultural world.”
Mike: “Until the wind blows…”
Doog: “Yeah, this place smells strongly of Beemu manure.”
Seitse: “It doesn’t smell much worse than our ship, to be honest.”
Amaya: “You’re not lying.”
Mike: “Until the wind blows…”
Doog: “Yeah, this place smells strongly of Beemu manure.”
Seitse: “It doesn’t smell much worse than our ship, to be honest.”
Amaya: “You’re not lying.”
Doog: “So, what type of cultural event are we here to witness? Beecon eating contests? Bam eating contests? Tell me it’s something like that.”
Amaya: “You wish. No, Suilli and Scrofa are famous for something much more exciting than competitive eating.”
Doog: “What can be more exciting than eating contests, especially if we are the ones getting to eat?”
Oldie: “Yeah, can we double check what we’re here for? I really like this idea of an eating contest.”
Amaya: “You wish. No, Suilli and Scrofa are famous for something much more exciting than competitive eating.”
Doog: “What can be more exciting than eating contests, especially if we are the ones getting to eat?”
Oldie: “Yeah, can we double check what we’re here for? I really like this idea of an eating contest.”
Mike: “Does it have anything to do with these weird trees? They’re everywhere around here.”
Amaya: “No, but Suilla Trees are a part of the culture here. They are sort of seen as sacred, so when the fields were razed to build Scrofa, the trees were kept intact. The city was built around the Suilla Trees. You can see that a lot of the local businesses have adopted the tree symbol as well.”
Amaya: “No, but Suilla Trees are a part of the culture here. They are sort of seen as sacred, so when the fields were razed to build Scrofa, the trees were kept intact. The city was built around the Suilla Trees. You can see that a lot of the local businesses have adopted the tree symbol as well.”
Doog: “Are you going to tell us or what? Walking through this meat market isn’t making the eating contest idea go away.”
Amaya: “Well, I was waiting for a big reveal, but I guess I can get started now. Herding Beemu in the pastures can be a dangerous job. Beemu are big, heavy, and strong. It takes tough individuals to handle these things. Particularly tough individuals gained local fame, becoming folk heroes of a sort.”
Doog: “Folk heroes?”
Amaya: “Yeah. People made up songs and stories about them. Their deeds were often exaggerated and fictionalized. Jim the Shepherd could lift fifty Beemu with one hand – stuff like that.”
Doog: “What does that have to do anything? Are we here to see this Jim guy?”
Amaya: “No, that was just an example of a local folk hero.”
Mike: “So, there’s no super-strong Jim?”
Amaya: “No! Anyway, as Suilli became more connected and populated, these regional folk heroes began to overlap. People began arguing over which ‘local personality’ was better. To settle these disputes, these folk heroes often fought each other in front of large crowds.”
Doog: “We’re going to see a fight?”
Amaya: “Yes. Of course, things have gotten a little bigger since the earlier days.”
Amaya: “Well, I was waiting for a big reveal, but I guess I can get started now. Herding Beemu in the pastures can be a dangerous job. Beemu are big, heavy, and strong. It takes tough individuals to handle these things. Particularly tough individuals gained local fame, becoming folk heroes of a sort.”
Doog: “Folk heroes?”
Amaya: “Yeah. People made up songs and stories about them. Their deeds were often exaggerated and fictionalized. Jim the Shepherd could lift fifty Beemu with one hand – stuff like that.”
Doog: “What does that have to do anything? Are we here to see this Jim guy?”
Amaya: “No, that was just an example of a local folk hero.”
Mike: “So, there’s no super-strong Jim?”
Amaya: “No! Anyway, as Suilli became more connected and populated, these regional folk heroes began to overlap. People began arguing over which ‘local personality’ was better. To settle these disputes, these folk heroes often fought each other in front of large crowds.”
Doog: “We’re going to see a fight?”
Amaya: “Yes. Of course, things have gotten a little bigger since the earlier days.”
Doog: “I’d say so, this place is packed.”
Amaya: “Yep. Hundreds come to Scrofa to watch these local personalities fight.”
Amaya: “Yep. Hundreds come to Scrofa to watch these local personalities fight.”
Amaya: “The fights are even broadcast galaxywide. I believe our sister station, TV 6+, carries these fights.”
Doog: “What are they wearing on their hands?”
Mike: “It looks like metal boxing gloves.”
Amaya: “Yeah, they’re steel plated gauntlets.”
Doog: “Is that part of the folk hero thing?”
Amaya: “No, I think it’s just for extra carnage during the fights. It’s probably a ratings thing.”
Doog: “Yikes.”
Mike: “It looks like metal boxing gloves.”
Amaya: “Yeah, they’re steel plated gauntlets.”
Doog: “Is that part of the folk hero thing?”
Amaya: “No, I think it’s just for extra carnage during the fights. It’s probably a ratings thing.”
Doog: “Yikes.”
Seitse: “Is it just me, or does it still smell like Beemu dung in here.”
Mike: “I think that’s just Doog’s breath.”
Doog: “Is not!”
Amaya: “Why do you think I sat down here?”
Doog: “It’s not me! It’s this hodgepodge of agricultural workers crammed in here!”
Seitse: “Whatever you say, Doog.”
Mike: “Just say it the other way next time, bud.”
Mike: “I think that’s just Doog’s breath.”
Doog: “Is not!”
Amaya: “Why do you think I sat down here?”
Doog: “It’s not me! It’s this hodgepodge of agricultural workers crammed in here!”
Seitse: “Whatever you say, Doog.”
Mike: “Just say it the other way next time, bud.”
Amaya: “Alright, quiet down, it’s about to start.”
Referee: “Ladies, gentlemen, and asexual beings, welcome to the Scrofa Heavyweight Gauntlet Match! Today, two fighters will enter, but only one will remain a local hero. Let’s meet the personalities. In the red shorts…”
Referee: “Ladies, gentlemen, and asexual beings, welcome to the Scrofa Heavyweight Gauntlet Match! Today, two fighters will enter, but only one will remain a local hero. Let’s meet the personalities. In the red shorts…”
Referee: “…we have, Carl ‘the Carver’ Rodriguez. Carl is known for his skill with a knife. He single-handedly processed one-hundred Beemu in one day all by himself. He can achieve this, because Carl can lift a Beemu without the aid of the mechanical cranes and is strong enough to snap Beemu bones with his bare hands. Let’s give it up for the top personality in the Reuto Region, Carl ‘the Carver’ Rodriguez!”
Referee: “In the brown pants, we have Berger ‘Beemu Bane’ Poisson. Berger is the Dakuri Region’s greatest herdsman. Berger often carries uncooperative Beemu over his shoulder for miles. Berger, to the chagrin of his local foreman, is known to kill troublesome Beemu with a well-placed head strike. Let’s hear it for Berger ‘Beemu Bane’ Poisson.”
Referee: “Remember, the winner can claim any of the defeated fighter’s titles or legendary heroics. Will Beemu Bane be the new master of knives? Will the Carver be the bane of the Beemu? There’s only one way to find out! Let’s have a clean fight and keep it above the belt. Fight starts when the bell sounds.”
Bell: “Ding, Ding, Ding!”
Doog: “Can these guys really lift Beemu? Or break their bones? Or kill them with a single strike?”
Amaya: “It’s doubtful.”
Doog: “Why say that stuff then?”
Amaya: “Who knows? I guess it’s part of the local culture. It makes the fights more mythical and exciting. Besides, each region really gets behind their fighter. It’s a sense of local pride. The stories add to that pride.”
Mike: “Makes sense to me. I’ve been a fan of ‘the Carver’ since I heard that he can slice up a hundred Beemu a day. How cool does that sound!”
Doog: “It sounds cool – I’ll grant you that – but it doesn’t really translate to boxing skills. Berger can kill with a single strike. He’s clearly going to win this thing.”
Amaya: “See. The two of you are already buying into the myths. It makes these fights more exciting.”
Oldie: “I don’t know about all of that, but I do have a question. Is there a refreshment stand at these fabled boxing matches?”
Amaya: “It’s doubtful.”
Doog: “Why say that stuff then?”
Amaya: “Who knows? I guess it’s part of the local culture. It makes the fights more mythical and exciting. Besides, each region really gets behind their fighter. It’s a sense of local pride. The stories add to that pride.”
Mike: “Makes sense to me. I’ve been a fan of ‘the Carver’ since I heard that he can slice up a hundred Beemu a day. How cool does that sound!”
Doog: “It sounds cool – I’ll grant you that – but it doesn’t really translate to boxing skills. Berger can kill with a single strike. He’s clearly going to win this thing.”
Amaya: “See. The two of you are already buying into the myths. It makes these fights more exciting.”
Oldie: “I don’t know about all of that, but I do have a question. Is there a refreshment stand at these fabled boxing matches?”
Announcer #1: “Ooh! Carl has carved up Berger’s defenses and landed the first blow! That had to hurt!”
Announcer: #1 “Beemu Bane looks stunned. That last blow had to have caused some type of brain injury.”
Announcer #2: “He hit him so hard, my head hurts!”
Announcer #1: “Berger has dropped his guard and looks to be vulnerable. Will Carl finish him off?”
Announcer #2: “He hit him so hard, my head hurts!”
Announcer #1: “Berger has dropped his guard and looks to be vulnerable. Will Carl finish him off?”
Announcer #2: “No! He will not! Berger lured him in with that lowered defense and struck back!”
Announcer #1: “The Carver looks like a Beemu on Berger’s bad side. He just took a death blow to the forehead.”
Announcer #1: “The Carver looks like a Beemu on Berger’s bad side. He just took a death blow to the forehead.”
Announcer #2: “You might be more right than you know! Carl ‘the Carver’ is down, and he’s not moving!”
Announcer #1: “Yikes. Berger ‘Beemu Bane’ Poisson’s legendary hitting power strikes again!”
Announcer #1: “Yikes. Berger ‘Beemu Bane’ Poisson’s legendary hitting power strikes again!”
Doog: “I told you! Beemu Bane strikes again! Ha!”
Mike: “You just got lucky! The Carver should have won this fight!”
Doog: “Don’t be a sore loser!”
Mike: “Don’t breathe on me!”
Doog: “Are you back to this bad breath thing? I told you that wasn’t me!”
Mike: “Is too!”
Doog: “That’s it! I’ll see you in the ring! TV personality vs idiot personality!”
Mike: “Fine!”
Amaya: “You two aren’t fighting! There’s a full docket today, and we aren’t going to be here for tomorrow.”
Doog: “We’ll fight on the ship then!”
Amaya: “Can you at least wrap up the episode first?”
Mike: “You just got lucky! The Carver should have won this fight!”
Doog: “Don’t be a sore loser!”
Mike: “Don’t breathe on me!”
Doog: “Are you back to this bad breath thing? I told you that wasn’t me!”
Mike: “Is too!”
Doog: “That’s it! I’ll see you in the ring! TV personality vs idiot personality!”
Mike: “Fine!”
Amaya: “You two aren’t fighting! There’s a full docket today, and we aren’t going to be here for tomorrow.”
Doog: “We’ll fight on the ship then!”
Amaya: “Can you at least wrap up the episode first?”
Doog: “Well folks, that’s Suilli. The people of this agricultural world worship their local folk heroes – workers of extraordinary, mythical skills. To prove their local hero is better than everyone else’s, they send them to the planet’s largest city to fight it out. It’s weird, but decently entertaining. Oh well, I have my own fight to attend to. See ya!”
Note:
Note:
Doog: “Alright. We’re here. You still up for this?”
Mike: “Oh yeah, Mike ‘the Audio Man’ versus Terrance ‘Butt Breath’ McDoogal is on the docket!”
Doog: “I’m going to punch your face so hard!”
Mike: “Yeah, me too! I mean – punch your face – not mine.”
Doog: “Any ground rules?”
Mike: “Never! Oh, except gut punches. I’ve had an upset stomach all day.”
Doog: “I don’t like gut punches myself. I’ll accept that rule. We should probably avoid face shots too. I have to keep this mug looking good for the camera.”
Mike: “I accept. I don’t want any face damage myself.”
Doog: “So…arms and legs?”
Mike: “Can I throw out arms? My tennis elbow has been flaring up since last week’s game.”
Doog: “Agreed, but we need to exclude knees for the same reason.”
Mike: “Agreed.”
Doog: “So, what exactly are we allowed to hit?”
Mike: “Feet?”
Doog: “Ew! No thanks.”
Mike: “Should we just not fight?”
Doog: “Probably.”
Amaya: “So much for the legendary heroes on this ship…”
Mike: “Oh yeah, Mike ‘the Audio Man’ versus Terrance ‘Butt Breath’ McDoogal is on the docket!”
Doog: “I’m going to punch your face so hard!”
Mike: “Yeah, me too! I mean – punch your face – not mine.”
Doog: “Any ground rules?”
Mike: “Never! Oh, except gut punches. I’ve had an upset stomach all day.”
Doog: “I don’t like gut punches myself. I’ll accept that rule. We should probably avoid face shots too. I have to keep this mug looking good for the camera.”
Mike: “I accept. I don’t want any face damage myself.”
Doog: “So…arms and legs?”
Mike: “Can I throw out arms? My tennis elbow has been flaring up since last week’s game.”
Doog: “Agreed, but we need to exclude knees for the same reason.”
Mike: “Agreed.”
Doog: “So, what exactly are we allowed to hit?”
Mike: “Feet?”
Doog: “Ew! No thanks.”
Mike: “Should we just not fight?”
Doog: “Probably.”
Amaya: “So much for the legendary heroes on this ship…”
