Season 3 - Episode 2 - Scruta

LIU Atlas - Scruta

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 


                                                                LIU Atlas - Scruta

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: "Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I'm your host, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. Today, we are visiting a highly polluted Industrial World called Scruta. As you can see, Scruta's sprawling industrial sector is so large that it is visible from space."

Doog: "All of Scruta's industries are run out of a large business tower that rests deep within the hazy industrial complex. A small lighthouse on its roof serves as a beacon, guiding visitors through the smog. That's where we are headed."

Doog: "I'm now in the business tower's lobby where I’m supposed to meet my guide. Today's guide is an Elite Citizen, so I have to remember to be on my best behavior. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see a hot secretary that requires my attention.”

Doog: “Hello there beautiful. I want to make an appointment…with your heart.”
Secretary: “Eww, get lost. I saw your last Behind the Scenes episode. You’re such a jerk.”
Doog: “What that? Hey, why are you reaching down towards the panic button?”
Elite: “That won’t be necessary Ms. Simmons. You must be Doog.”

Elite: “Good grief man…what are you wearing? Where are your sleeves?”
Doog: “What this? This is a racing shirt. Cool huh?”
Elite: “There’s no way I’m going to be seen in public with some vagabond. I tell you what, I’ll arrange for you to take my limo. You can quickly tour the planet and get out of here as soon as possible.”
Doog: “A limo? Does it come with chicks?”
Elite: “What! Of course not.”
Doog: “Well, I’m going to have to decline then. I’m a man of the people, sir. I prefer to get out there and get dirty with the workers. If you won’t take me, I humbly request another guide.”
Elite: “Oh thank goodness, I hoped you were going to say that. I wasn’t looking forward to replacing the seats in my limo. Hmm. I think I have just the guide, but first, I have a few documents for you to sign.”

Doog: “Documents?”
Elite: “Yes, we’re going to need you to sign a few waivers for liability purposes. I just need you to sign here, here, here, initial here, sign here, here, and here. There we go. That takes care of the first page.”




Three hours later

Elite: “Alright. It appears everything is in order now. This here is your guide, a Goorian named Clunis. Clunis is one of our safest workers. Last year, he went twenty seven days in between accidents, a Scrutan record.”
Doog: “Hello there.”
Clunis:  “Scruta prae gaza, Doog.”
Doog: “What! This guy doesn’t even speak Basic!”
Elite: “Too late. You already signed the contract.  Besides,  Clunis’s breathing apparatus has a built-in translator. Here, let me turn it on.”
Clunis: “I. Am. Pleased. To. Make. Your. Friendship. Doog. Smile. Bright. Caterpillar.”
Doog: “What?”
Elite: “The translator is a work in progress. The syntax and vocabulary of our two languages are quite dissimilar. I have a feeling that you’ll make do.”
Doog: “Great…Let’s just get this over with.”

Doog: “Where are we Clunis? It looks like a factory for building ships.”
Clunis: “Opposite. In. Fact. The. Factories. Of. Scruta. Specialize. In. Salvaging. Old. Ships.”
Doog: “Wait. Let me get this right. You’re tearing them apart?”
Clunis: “Confirmed. Old. Ships. That. Have. No. More. Use. Are. Brought. Here.  We. Deconstruct. Them. And. Salvage. Their. Parts.”

Clunis: “This. Ship. Used. To. Be. Sunshine. Light. Flies. Face. Left.”
Doog: “Wait. I think your translator is malfunctioning. Maybe if I just give it a slap, it will start working again.”
Clunis: “That. Is. Not. Necessary. Let. Me. Try. Again. - This. Ship. Was. Retired. When. Engines. Fail. Although. Worthless. As. Ship. There. Is. Still. Much. Worth. In. The. Parts.”
Doog: “Speaking of worthless, I wonder if I can find another guide.”

Clunis: “Plasma. Welder. Makes. Metal. Sad. Metal.”
Doog: “You make me sad metal, Clunis.”

Clunis: “Arranged. In. Parts…”
Doog: “Let me just cut you off there, Clunis. I think I can figure this out. They are cutting away the hull to expose the engine. They’re then removing the parts that still function and throwing them in this container thingy to our left.”

Clunis: “Smile. Bird. Takes. Singing. Leap.”
Doog: “Uh…yeah…sure thing.”

Doog: “Let’s move on Clunis.”

Clunis: “Larger. Capital. Ships. Can. Not. Land. On. Surface. And. Must. Be. Cut. Into. Smaller. Parts. With. A. Plasma. Cutter. Small. Sections. Easy. To. Land.  They. Are. Also. Salvaged.”

Doog: “What is that guy doing? He’s detaching the floor stabilizers while workers are standing on the floor! If the floor falls, the workers and that plasma tank are going to fall too. Although it could be slightly funny, I’m afraid the plasma tank will explode. We need to stop him!”
Clunis: No. Worries. Crash. Good. My. Record. Safe.”
Doog: “Record safe, yes, but we’re not safe. Ah, just forget it. Let’s get out of here.”

Clunis: “We. Find. This. Junker. On. City. Outskirts. Little. Worth. But. We. Also. Salvage. It.”
Doog: “Yeah, what a piece of junk. Hey! Wait! That’s my ship!”

Doog: “Stop!”
Alien: “Scruta prae gaza!”
Doog: “What! Oh, forget it. I know you’ll understand this.”

Doog: “Clunis, tell them to stop. This is my ship!”
Clunis: “Are. You. Certain? Junker. Might. Be. Worth. More. In. Pieces. Maybe. One. Hundred. Credits.”
Doog: “Hmm. Does that come with any chicks?”
Clunis: “No. What. Is. Chicks?”
Doog: “Then the answer is no.”
Clunis: “Very. Well.”

Clunis: “The. Scrap. And. Salvaged. Parts. Are. Taken. Here. They. Are. Sorted. Pretty. Sorting.”

Clunis: “LIU. Space. Truck. Carry. The. Sorted. Parts. To. Other. Factory. Worlds. To. Be. Smelted. Or. Reused.”

Doog: Well, thankfully, that about wraps it up.”
Clunis: “Still. More.”
Doog: “Sigh.”

Clunis: “Many. Parts. Of. The Ships. Are. Too. Toxic. To. Be. Reused. Like. Depleted. Energy. Cells. Coolant. And. Fuel. It. Is. Taken. Here. To. Be. Stored.”
Doog: “Can we go inside?”

Clunis: “I. Do. Not. See. Any. Reason. Why. Not. There. Is. No. Indication. Of. Danger.”
Doog: “Agreed. Let’s head inside.”

Doog: “What’s this?”
Clunis: “The. Toxic. And. Often. Radiated. Materials. Are. Stored. Here.”
Doog: “You’re just pouring them into the ground?”

Clunis: “Yes. Shiny. Metal. Containers. Are. Valuable. And. Can. Be. Salvaged. They. Would. Be. Wasted. Otherwise.”
Doog: “Seems a bit unsafe to me, but what do I know.”
Clunis: “Perhaps. The. Atmospheric. Pollution. Is. Probably. The. Result. Of. Toxic. Dump.”

Doog: “My eyes are kind of burning. Are you sure it is safe to be down here?”
Clunis: “Moderately. Safe. For. Me. My. Breathing. Apparatus. Filters. A. Lot. Of. The. Radiation.”
Doog: “What! What about me!”
Clunis: “Not. Safe. Shiny. Glowing. Organs. In. Future.”
Doog: “Shiny, glowing organs? I think your helmet is malfunctioning again.”
Clunis: “No. Your. Radiated. Organs. Probably. Are. Glowing.”
Doog: “Ahh! I have to get out of here.”

Doog: “Well folks, Scruta is a terrible, but important place. Millions of tons of metal, electronics, and parts are salvaged here every year. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to give the secretary another shot before the radiation poisoning sets in. See ya!”
 


Note: Take advantage of the LIU’s Cash for Junkers Program. You give us cash, and we’ll take your old ships off your hands.


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