There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Sarcio DSR
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Doog: “Welcome to the season finale of Season 14 of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting an area of the galaxy called the Sarcio Zone. You may note that I’m doing this intro from inside my ship – that’s because there are no planets, moons, or space stations in this area of space. In fact, there’s nothing around here for lightyears. What season finale craziness are we going to find out here in this void of space? Let’s find out.”
Amaya: “Good try, Doog, but this is never going to fly. There aren’t any mysteries out here – there's nothing remotely interesting.”
Doog: “We have to try something! The season is almost over, and I’m not working over our vacation break again!”
Mike: “I’m with Doog. We have to do something. Besides, this Sarcio Zone sounds kind of cool.”
Amaya: “There’s no Sarcio Zone! He made that up.”
Doog: “Whoa, I distinctly remember Seitse saying something about a Sarcio.”
Amaya: “There’s a Sarcio-Class DSR ship enroute to fix out Hyperdrive.”
Doog: “Perfect. Let’s do a show about one of them.”
Amaya: “A season finale about a Deep Space Repair ship?”
Doog: “Not any old DSR, a Sarcio-Class.”
Oldie: “Ooh, that does sound exciting.”
Amaya: “You guys don’t even know what a Sarcio-Class DSR is!”
Seitse (intercom): “Sarcio-Class DSR, Unlucky Clover is dropping out of hyperspace. ETA is four minutes.”
Doog: “Quick, Cam, launch the Space Cam!”
Cam: “On it!”
Amaya: “Et tu, Cam?”
Cam: “It’s worth a shot.”
Doog: “We have to try something! The season is almost over, and I’m not working over our vacation break again!”
Mike: “I’m with Doog. We have to do something. Besides, this Sarcio Zone sounds kind of cool.”
Amaya: “There’s no Sarcio Zone! He made that up.”
Doog: “Whoa, I distinctly remember Seitse saying something about a Sarcio.”
Amaya: “There’s a Sarcio-Class DSR ship enroute to fix out Hyperdrive.”
Doog: “Perfect. Let’s do a show about one of them.”
Amaya: “A season finale about a Deep Space Repair ship?”
Doog: “Not any old DSR, a Sarcio-Class.”
Oldie: “Ooh, that does sound exciting.”
Amaya: “You guys don’t even know what a Sarcio-Class DSR is!”
Seitse (intercom): “Sarcio-Class DSR, Unlucky Clover is dropping out of hyperspace. ETA is four minutes.”
Doog: “Quick, Cam, launch the Space Cam!”
Cam: “On it!”
Amaya: “Et tu, Cam?”
Cam: “It’s worth a shot.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Jaculan-Class Cargo Vessel, Magellan II, how do you copy?”
Hugo: “Loud and clear.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Great. This is DSR Unlucky Clover. State your emergency.”
Hugo: “We suffered a hyperspace engine failure. All six engines on the starboard side.”
DSR Comm Officer: “All six, huh? Sounds like you blew a reduction coupling leading to starboard plasma exhaust. It shouldn’t be too hard to fix. Please disengage any sublight engines. We are calculating an intercept vector.”
Hugo: “10-4.”
Hugo: “Loud and clear.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Great. This is DSR Unlucky Clover. State your emergency.”
Hugo: “We suffered a hyperspace engine failure. All six engines on the starboard side.”
DSR Comm Officer: “All six, huh? Sounds like you blew a reduction coupling leading to starboard plasma exhaust. It shouldn’t be too hard to fix. Please disengage any sublight engines. We are calculating an intercept vector.”
Hugo: “10-4.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Magellan II, we have matched speed and roll. We are approaching from the bow to give the pneumatic plasma pumps access to starboard exhaust ports. As soon as my team is deployed, we’ll maneuver into repair position. We’ll come to you; keep your engines disengaged, confirm.”
Hugo: “10-4.”
Hugo: “10-4.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Initiating roll call. Spotter, low deck?”
Spotter L: “In position.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Spotter, high deck?”
Spotter H: “I’m ready.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Portside?”
Spotter P: “Present and accounted for.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Starboard Plasma?”
Spotter S: “Bring it.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Confirmed. Approaching the Magellan II. Keep your eyes peeled. And remember, Tony, the stop command is ‘stop’ or ‘halt’, not ‘Holy Crap’!”
Spotter L (Tony): “Yeah, yeah.”
Spotter L: “In position.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Spotter, high deck?”
Spotter H: “I’m ready.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Portside?”
Spotter P: “Present and accounted for.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Starboard Plasma?”
Spotter S: “Bring it.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Confirmed. Approaching the Magellan II. Keep your eyes peeled. And remember, Tony, the stop command is ‘stop’ or ‘halt’, not ‘Holy Crap’!”
Spotter L (Tony): “Yeah, yeah.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Steady. Steady. We’re almost there.”
Doog: “Hey, while you’re not doing anything, what can you tell us about your amazing, season-finale-suitable ship?”
Hugo: “Doog! Get off the comms!”
DSR Comm Officer: “Did you say, ‘not doing anything’? The captain and I are literally piloting our ship around yours.”
Doog: “Yeah, but it’s mostly the computer doing all that, right? Tell us about the Unlucky Clover.”
DSR Comm Officer: “This is serious business. Pilot, get this buffoon off the comms.”
Hugo: “I’m tryi…”
Doog: “Buffoon? I’ll have you know that I’m a very successful TV Reporter with TV2. I’ve chosen to highlight your amazing ship on my show. Do you want the press or no?”
DSR Comm Officer: “I…uh…let me talk to the captain.”
Doog: “Do that.”
DSR Comm Officer: “What is it that you wanted to know?”
Doog: “Tell us about this Sarcio-Class DSR.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Uh, this ship, with a crew of eight, is essentially a mobile, full-service repair station. We can repair almost anything, engines, coolant, hull damage, etc. We can do much more than your typical everyday DSR. We even carry a fair bit of fuel for stranded ships.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
DSR Comm Officer: “That’s all you need for your show?”
Doog: “That’s more than I usually get. Thanks for your time.”
Doog: “Hey, while you’re not doing anything, what can you tell us about your amazing, season-finale-suitable ship?”
Hugo: “Doog! Get off the comms!”
DSR Comm Officer: “Did you say, ‘not doing anything’? The captain and I are literally piloting our ship around yours.”
Doog: “Yeah, but it’s mostly the computer doing all that, right? Tell us about the Unlucky Clover.”
DSR Comm Officer: “This is serious business. Pilot, get this buffoon off the comms.”
Hugo: “I’m tryi…”
Doog: “Buffoon? I’ll have you know that I’m a very successful TV Reporter with TV2. I’ve chosen to highlight your amazing ship on my show. Do you want the press or no?”
DSR Comm Officer: “I…uh…let me talk to the captain.”
Doog: “Do that.”
DSR Comm Officer: “What is it that you wanted to know?”
Doog: “Tell us about this Sarcio-Class DSR.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Uh, this ship, with a crew of eight, is essentially a mobile, full-service repair station. We can repair almost anything, engines, coolant, hull damage, etc. We can do much more than your typical everyday DSR. We even carry a fair bit of fuel for stranded ships.”
Doog: “Fair enough.”
DSR Comm Officer: “That’s all you need for your show?”
Doog: “That’s more than I usually get. Thanks for your time.”
Seitse: “I can’t believe you did that, Doog.”
Doog: “What? Did you really want to waste our vacation time doing a make-up season finale?”
Mike: “I don’t.”
Seitse: “They’re not going to be happy when they find out you endangered their ship and crew for LIU Atlas.”
Doog: “Hey, I just said I’m a TV reporter. I never said it was for TV2’s lowest rated show.”
Seitse: “Amaya, what do you think about all of this?”
Amaya: “It’s not our best finale, but it does satisfy our twelve-episode contract. Besides, we now have time for our yearly Consumerism Day celebration.”
Doog: “Ooh, I didn’t even think about that! Double bonus – vacation and presents.”
Oldie: “Did someone buy me a pie?!”
Seitse: “Uh, now that you put it that way…let’s celebrate!”
Oldie: “Oldest goes first!”
Oldie
Doog: “What? Did you really want to waste our vacation time doing a make-up season finale?”
Mike: “I don’t.”
Seitse: “They’re not going to be happy when they find out you endangered their ship and crew for LIU Atlas.”
Doog: “Hey, I just said I’m a TV reporter. I never said it was for TV2’s lowest rated show.”
Seitse: “Amaya, what do you think about all of this?”
Amaya: “It’s not our best finale, but it does satisfy our twelve-episode contract. Besides, we now have time for our yearly Consumerism Day celebration.”
Doog: “Ooh, I didn’t even think about that! Double bonus – vacation and presents.”
Oldie: “Did someone buy me a pie?!”
Seitse: “Uh, now that you put it that way…let’s celebrate!”
Oldie: “Oldest goes first!”
Oldie
Oldie: “It’s…uh…it’s…uh…not a pie. Or pony soup. Or a retirement voucher. What is it?”
Amaya: “It’s VitaRush Powder. No more scurvy for you.”
Doog: “Ha! Nards got vitamins for Consumerism Day!”
Mike: “It’s better than socks or underwear!”
Oldie: “Is it?”
Amaya: “Oldie, a scoop of this a day will keep your Vitamin C steady.”
Oldie: “I guess that’s good.”
Amaya: “Do the scoop and I won’t force you to eat six fruits a day.”
Oldie: “Ooh, now that’s a present!”
Timbo
Amaya: “It’s VitaRush Powder. No more scurvy for you.”
Doog: “Ha! Nards got vitamins for Consumerism Day!”
Mike: “It’s better than socks or underwear!”
Oldie: “Is it?”
Amaya: “Oldie, a scoop of this a day will keep your Vitamin C steady.”
Oldie: “I guess that’s good.”
Amaya: “Do the scoop and I won’t force you to eat six fruits a day.”
Oldie: “Ooh, now that’s a present!”
Timbo
Timbo: “A BRG Channel converter! Awesome!”
Doog: “Only Timbo would get excited about work equipment.”
Timbo: “This will literally save me hours while editing. Essentially, my present is free time.”
Doog: “More Timbo free time. That’s the opposite of what I wanted for Consumerism Day…”
Amaya: “I know it’s work related, but you’ve been asking for one for ages.”
Timbo: “Are you kidding? I love it! Thanks guys! I’m going upstairs to install it right away!”
Mike
Doog: “Only Timbo would get excited about work equipment.”
Timbo: “This will literally save me hours while editing. Essentially, my present is free time.”
Doog: “More Timbo free time. That’s the opposite of what I wanted for Consumerism Day…”
Amaya: “I know it’s work related, but you’ve been asking for one for ages.”
Timbo: “Are you kidding? I love it! Thanks guys! I’m going upstairs to install it right away!”
Mike
Mike: “Shut up! Bent Elbow by Holo-clops! I needed this to complete my set! I have the full Cyberfunk collection now!”
Doog: “Ooh, let me rip that onto my LIUPad.”
Mike: “Heck no! Support the musicians, man!”
Amaya: “Glad you like it, Mike.”
Cam
Doog: “Ooh, let me rip that onto my LIUPad.”
Mike: “Heck no! Support the musicians, man!”
Amaya: “Glad you like it, Mike.”
Cam
Doog: “Ha! Another work related present!”
Cam: “I don’t think so. Not unless I’m the ship’s chef now.”
Doog: “What?! That looks like some type of photometer.”
Cam: “It’s a meat thermometer.”
Amaya: “No more overdone meat for you!”
Seitse: “Medium rare for you every time!”
Cam: “Is it ok to cry tears of joy on Consumerism Day?”
Seitse & Hugo
Cam: “I don’t think so. Not unless I’m the ship’s chef now.”
Doog: “What?! That looks like some type of photometer.”
Cam: “It’s a meat thermometer.”
Amaya: “No more overdone meat for you!”
Seitse: “Medium rare for you every time!”
Cam: “Is it ok to cry tears of joy on Consumerism Day?”
Seitse & Hugo
Seitse: “Wine from Merum! How did you guys know?”
Oldie: “You’ve been dropping hints for months.”
Seitse: “Have I?”
Amaya: “We got a bottle for Hugo too. When the ship is done being repaired, he can come grab it.”
Doog: “Is it wise to give both our pilots alcohol?”
Seitse: “We won’t drink it at the same time. We have self-control, unlike you.”
Doog: “I have plenty of self-control. Speaking of which, what did you guys get me? Spice? Drugs? A yearlong membership to a brothel?”
Amaya: “Whoa, it’s my turn first.”
Amaya
Oldie: “You’ve been dropping hints for months.”
Seitse: “Have I?”
Amaya: “We got a bottle for Hugo too. When the ship is done being repaired, he can come grab it.”
Doog: “Is it wise to give both our pilots alcohol?”
Seitse: “We won’t drink it at the same time. We have self-control, unlike you.”
Doog: “I have plenty of self-control. Speaking of which, what did you guys get me? Spice? Drugs? A yearlong membership to a brothel?”
Amaya: “Whoa, it’s my turn first.”
Amaya
Amaya: “A purse! In dark pink too! How did you guys know?”
Oldie: “Again…the non-stop hints.”
Seitse: “I love it!”
Doog: “Some of these gifts seem a bit unfair. Wine, purses, video editing equipment, and music discs compared to meat thermometers and vitamins?”
Amaya: “Everyone chipped in what they could, and got a gift of corresponding value. I chipped in the most, but only got a purse. I wanted Timbo to get the BRG Channel Converter. Consumerism Day is about spending money on others, not getting stuff for yourself.”
Cam: “I’m not complaining!”
Oldie: "Not eating fruit everyday is one of the better gifts I've gotten!"
Doog: “Well, in that case…what did you get me?”
Doog
Oldie: “Again…the non-stop hints.”
Seitse: “I love it!”
Doog: “Some of these gifts seem a bit unfair. Wine, purses, video editing equipment, and music discs compared to meat thermometers and vitamins?”
Amaya: “Everyone chipped in what they could, and got a gift of corresponding value. I chipped in the most, but only got a purse. I wanted Timbo to get the BRG Channel Converter. Consumerism Day is about spending money on others, not getting stuff for yourself.”
Cam: “I’m not complaining!”
Oldie: "Not eating fruit everyday is one of the better gifts I've gotten!"
Doog: “Well, in that case…what did you get me?”
Doog
Doog: “Let me guess. An all-inclusive stay on Camana IV. No, a two-week dream in a Beluan dream den? Silly lilies from Alucinor?”
Amaya: “Uh, none of the above. Once again, you didn’t chip in for the gift exchange.”
Doog: “Yeah, like all the years before. Tell me something new. I still usually get something.”
Amaya: “Uh, none of the above. Once again, you didn’t chip in for the gift exchange.”
Doog: “Yeah, like all the years before. Tell me something new. I still usually get something.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Well, I was right. It was the reduction coupling.”
Amaya: “How bad was it?”
DSR Comm Officer: “Not bad at all. The plasma pump cleared out the obstruction pretty quick. We were within two parsecs when you called, so there’s minimal travel fees. Altogether, we’re looking at two hundred credits.”
Amaya: “That’s not bad at all. I’ll make the transfer at once.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Great. Thanks for your business and Happy Consumerism Day!”
Amaya: “How bad was it?”
DSR Comm Officer: “Not bad at all. The plasma pump cleared out the obstruction pretty quick. We were within two parsecs when you called, so there’s minimal travel fees. Altogether, we’re looking at two hundred credits.”
Amaya: “That’s not bad at all. I’ll make the transfer at once.”
DSR Comm Officer: “Great. Thanks for your business and Happy Consumerism Day!”
Doog: “Enough distractions! What did you get me?!”
Seitse: “We got you noth…”
Amaya: “Actually, we got you a plasma pump on our starboard hyperspace engines! Surprise!”
Doog: “What! I didn’t ask for that!”
Amaya: “Of course you didn’t, but it’s in the spirit of Consumerism Day. You gifted us another season!”
Doog: “I’d rather have anything else!”
Amaya: “Fine. We’ll count this as the season finale. You get your vacation.”
Doog: “Yes! A two hundred credit plasma pump and a vacation! I beat all of you! I win Consumerism Day!”
Mike: “That’s not really in the spirit of the day…”
Amaya: “Let him have his moment.”
Seitse: “We got you noth…”
Amaya: “Actually, we got you a plasma pump on our starboard hyperspace engines! Surprise!”
Doog: “What! I didn’t ask for that!”
Amaya: “Of course you didn’t, but it’s in the spirit of Consumerism Day. You gifted us another season!”
Doog: “I’d rather have anything else!”
Amaya: “Fine. We’ll count this as the season finale. You get your vacation.”
Doog: “Yes! A two hundred credit plasma pump and a vacation! I beat all of you! I win Consumerism Day!”
Mike: “That’s not really in the spirit of the day…”
Amaya: “Let him have his moment.”
Doog: “Well, that wraps up Season 14. Despite our engine problems, I managed to squeeze out a season finale. Sure, it was about a Deep Space Repair ship, but who’s counting. Bring on my vacation! Oh well, see ya next season!”
Note: Sarcio-Class DSR ships are able to repair much more than smaller class DSR’s, like the M31 Variant.
Note: Sarcio-Class DSR ships are able to repair much more than smaller class DSR’s, like the M31 Variant.
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