There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Jaculus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
LIU Atlas - Jaculus
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU Galaxy, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to the season finale of Season 8 of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the water world of Jaculus, which orbits the pulsar, Iaculus. The Iaculus System, including Jaculus, rests at the confluence of two major hyperspace routes: the Meteon Trade Corridor and the Corcot Run. Besides being well positioned, the system also has another advantage, its star. The fast spinning Iaculus offers a huge gravity assist to ships entering hyperspace, which conserves time and fuel. These advantages have turned Jaculus into one the LIU’s largest trade and cargo worlds.”
Doog: “Alright, I’ve been dropped off in Jaculus’ only city, Colubrí. Colubrí is a multi-tiered megacity near Jaculus’ north pole. Colubrí is a diverse, multi-cultural city. The native Jaculan race only constitute about fifty percent of Jaculus’ population. The rest is comprised of alien races from across the galaxy. This population is constantly changing as most of it consists of travelers and cargo haulers. There is one unexpected resident here, and he’s our guide for today. May I introduce my old college buddy, Krix “Goob” Jagoober.”
Goob: “Is there a weight limit on this bay? How are you here?”
Doog: “What? Is the Magellan too big?’
Goob: “No, dummy, I’m commenting on your beer belly.”
Doog: “Oh, in that case, shut your gelatinous, mollusk mouth.”
Goob: “Haha. How have you been?”
Doog: “Better than you, I suppose. I heard the Meteon Kingdom broke away in the ‘Revolution’. I thought you might have died or been imprisoned.”
Goob: “Yeah. That wasn’t a good time for my people. The decision to revolt was made by the higher-ups in Meteo society, but we all paid the price. I spent about a year pleading my case in an Undique Station. Luckily for me, I wasn’t involved in the Revolution. I was here on Jaculus the whole time.”
Doog: “Why were you on Jaculus?”
Doog: “What? Is the Magellan too big?’
Goob: “No, dummy, I’m commenting on your beer belly.”
Doog: “Oh, in that case, shut your gelatinous, mollusk mouth.”
Goob: “Haha. How have you been?”
Doog: “Better than you, I suppose. I heard the Meteon Kingdom broke away in the ‘Revolution’. I thought you might have died or been imprisoned.”
Goob: “Yeah. That wasn’t a good time for my people. The decision to revolt was made by the higher-ups in Meteo society, but we all paid the price. I spent about a year pleading my case in an Undique Station. Luckily for me, I wasn’t involved in the Revolution. I was here on Jaculus the whole time.”
Doog: “Why were you on Jaculus?”
Goob: “Why not? Jaculus was where I was born and raised.”
Doog: “Really? I thought you’d be from one of those Udo worlds within the Meteon Kingdom.”
Goob: “Well technically speaking, I was. At one point in history, Jaculus was called Udo Jaculus.”
Doog: “Jaculus used to be part of the kingdom?”
Goob: “Yep. Way before I was born though. Many say the Meteon Kingdom lost the Mid-Rim Unification War due to the fall of Udo Mel, but the experts know that the real reason we lost the war was due to loss of Udo Jaculus.”
Doog: “How so?”
Doog: “Really? I thought you’d be from one of those Udo worlds within the Meteon Kingdom.”
Goob: “Well technically speaking, I was. At one point in history, Jaculus was called Udo Jaculus.”
Doog: “Jaculus used to be part of the kingdom?”
Goob: “Yep. Way before I was born though. Many say the Meteon Kingdom lost the Mid-Rim Unification War due to the fall of Udo Mel, but the experts know that the real reason we lost the war was due to loss of Udo Jaculus.”
Doog: “How so?”
Goob: “Udo Jaculus sits at the end of the MTC. Its loss disconnected the Meteon Kingdom from the rest of the galaxy. It essentially created a blockade.”
Doog: “MTC…oh, you mean the Meteon Trade Corridor?”
Goob: “Yeah, it’s the hyperspace route that connects all the worlds in the kingdom. Prior to the loss of Udo Jaculus, cargo from all the Meteon Worlds came here to be shipped out to the rest of the galaxy.”
Doog: “So, when it fell to the LIU, the kingdom lost its ability to trade to other worlds.”
Goob: “Yep. And don’t forget, it also gave the LIU’s military forces access to the kingdom. Jaculus acted as a staging point during the war.”
Doog: “MTC…oh, you mean the Meteon Trade Corridor?”
Goob: “Yeah, it’s the hyperspace route that connects all the worlds in the kingdom. Prior to the loss of Udo Jaculus, cargo from all the Meteon Worlds came here to be shipped out to the rest of the galaxy.”
Doog: “So, when it fell to the LIU, the kingdom lost its ability to trade to other worlds.”
Goob: “Yep. And don’t forget, it also gave the LIU’s military forces access to the kingdom. Jaculus acted as a staging point during the war.”
Doog: “Wow, I always heard that Udo Mel was the first world to fall during the war. I never even heard of Udo Jaculus.”
Goob: “Well, what you heard was right. Udo Mel was the first to fall during the war. That’s because Udo Jaculus fell to the LIU before the war.”
Doog: “How? Were they forced? Tricked?”
Goob: “Nope. They voluntarily left the kingdom and joined the LIU. The Jaculans knew they had a profitable world, and they felt they were being undervalued by the kingdom. The Jaculans delivered the greatest backstab in galactic history.”
Doog: “I’d say. So, why live here then?
Goob: “Well, what you heard was right. Udo Mel was the first to fall during the war. That’s because Udo Jaculus fell to the LIU before the war.”
Doog: “How? Were they forced? Tricked?”
Goob: “Nope. They voluntarily left the kingdom and joined the LIU. The Jaculans knew they had a profitable world, and they felt they were being undervalued by the kingdom. The Jaculans delivered the greatest backstab in galactic history.”
Doog: “I’d say. So, why live here then?
Goob: “The fall of Jaculus made war with the LIU inevitable. Everyone knew it was coming. Many of my people fled to Jaculus and voluntarily became LIU citizens, including my ancestors. They knew the kingdom couldn’t stand up to the ever-growing LIU. Two years later, the Mid-Rim Unification War proved them right. The kingdom fell to the LIU. Millions died.”
Doog: “Makes sense.”
Goob: “Yep. Jaculus is home to the largest diaspora of Meteo people in the galaxy.”
Doog: “Backstabbing aside, this doesn’t look like too bad of a place to grow up.”
Doog: “Makes sense.”
Goob: “Yep. Jaculus is home to the largest diaspora of Meteo people in the galaxy.”
Doog: “Backstabbing aside, this doesn’t look like too bad of a place to grow up.”
Goob: “Yeah, it’s not too bad. It could be worse, I could have grown up in a dilapidated, shanty town like Orsa.”
Doog: “Hey, Orsa isn’t a shanty town! I mean, it’s not as big as Colubrí, but it has way more charm.”
Goob: “Speaking of charm, how’s your grandma. I miss that lady. Is she still single?”
Doog: “Like you’d ever have a chance. Speaking of chances, how’s your sister? I’d like to give her a good backstabbing.”
Goob: “Haha. Always the wordsmith.”
Doog: “So, what can you tell us about Jaculus?”
Goob: “Well, take a look around. It’s a bustling, fast-moving town. There’s everything a traveler or hauler needs: lodging, food, supplies, and ship parts. There’s lawyers to settle trade disputes and offices to issue shipping permits. It’s a classic port town.”
Doog: “Hey, Orsa isn’t a shanty town! I mean, it’s not as big as Colubrí, but it has way more charm.”
Goob: “Speaking of charm, how’s your grandma. I miss that lady. Is she still single?”
Doog: “Like you’d ever have a chance. Speaking of chances, how’s your sister? I’d like to give her a good backstabbing.”
Goob: “Haha. Always the wordsmith.”
Doog: “So, what can you tell us about Jaculus?”
Goob: “Well, take a look around. It’s a bustling, fast-moving town. There’s everything a traveler or hauler needs: lodging, food, supplies, and ship parts. There’s lawyers to settle trade disputes and offices to issue shipping permits. It’s a classic port town.”
Doog: “One thing I notice is that everything looks new.”
Goob: “Yep…because most of it is new. Colubrí has been rebuilt several times since transferring its allegiance to LIU. It’s always being upgraded and expanded. I left Colubrí to go to school and then to work on Udo Messis. When I returned, I hardly recognized the place.”
Goob: “Yep…because most of it is new. Colubrí has been rebuilt several times since transferring its allegiance to LIU. It’s always being upgraded and expanded. I left Colubrí to go to school and then to work on Udo Messis. When I returned, I hardly recognized the place.”
Doog: “There’s lots of hovercars here. You don’t see that very often, at least in the cities I’ve visited.”
Goob: “Yep. That’s one advantages of living in a newer town.”
Doog: “How so?”
Goob: “Yep. That’s one advantages of living in a newer town.”
Doog: “How so?”
Goob: “Well, older cities weren’t really built for hovercars, so they’re dangerous to use. There’s no real systems to maintain hover traffic. Hovercars were already around when Colubrí was being built, so there’s systems in place for their use. Like hoverways that go under the city.”
Doog: “Ah, cool.”
Doog: “Ah, cool.”
Doog: “I like the digital billboards too. I could watch this shampoo commercial all day.”
Goob: “Maybe it’s because I am hairless, but I don’t get it. What’s so great about shampoo?”
Doog: “I’m not looking at the shampoo dummy. There’s a hot chick.”
Goob: “Yep, still doesn’t do anything for me.”
Goob: “Maybe it’s because I am hairless, but I don’t get it. What’s so great about shampoo?”
Doog: “I’m not looking at the shampoo dummy. There’s a hot chick.”
Goob: “Yep, still doesn’t do anything for me.”
Goob: “Large portions of the city are devoted to cargo. There’s thousands of landing bays and warehouses. Colubrí is a level four port, meaning it can handle all but the largest cargo ships.”
Doog: “Those workers there…are they the Jaculans?”
Goob: “Yep. Sure are.”
Doog: “What are they wearing on their faces?”
Goob: “Respirators, the Jaculans cannot breathe the air here.”
Doog: ‘They can’t breathe the air here? How? Isn’t this their planet? Did they evolve with the respirators on their faces?”
Goob: “Wow, settle down there. The Jaculans breathe water. They are an aquatic species.”
Doog: “Oh.”
Goob: “Yep. Sure are.”
Doog: “What are they wearing on their faces?”
Goob: “Respirators, the Jaculans cannot breathe the air here.”
Doog: ‘They can’t breathe the air here? How? Isn’t this their planet? Did they evolve with the respirators on their faces?”
Goob: “Wow, settle down there. The Jaculans breathe water. They are an aquatic species.”
Doog: “Oh.”
Goob: “They hardly ever return to the water now. Respirators and moisture-control clothing keep them above water almost permanently. I guess it’s necessary; it would be hard to have any meaningful interaction with the rest galaxy if they stayed underwater.”
Goob: “The Jaculans handle most of the cargo operations on Colubrí.”
Doog: “This place is intense. There’s a lot going on. Stuff flying everywhere. What are those gray things hauling containers?”
Doog: “This place is intense. There’s a lot going on. Stuff flying everywhere. What are those gray things hauling containers?”
Goob: “They’re Jaculan Elevator Cranes. They haul cargo containers into space so it can be loaded into larger ships that can’t land on Jaculus.”
Doog: “Seems smart.”
Doog: “Seems smart.”
Doog: “Alright, let’s get out of this cargo district. I’m getting bored.”
Goob: “Yeah, me too. But don’t worry, it gets better from here.”
Doog: “I see that. And smell it too.”
Goob: “Yeah, me too. But don’t worry, it gets better from here.”
Doog: “I see that. And smell it too.”
Goob: “Colubrí’s food district has some of the best restaurants in the galaxy. You can find just about anything you like here.”
Doog: “I don’t recognize most of these foods, but they all smell delicious.”
Doog: “I don’t recognize most of these foods, but they all smell delicious.”
Goob: “Well, you’re in luck. Lunch is on me.”
Doog: “Really?!”
Goob: “Yep, but there’s one condition. You must try something new. No pony soup or tacos or kaadu burgers.”
Doog: “Ok, fine. Let’s try this place up ahead. They sell something called Pizza. Sounds interesting.”
Goob: “Nice try. I know you know pizza. Remember, I went to college with you. Your arteries are 90% clogged with pizza grease.”
Doog: “Really?!”
Goob: “Yep, but there’s one condition. You must try something new. No pony soup or tacos or kaadu burgers.”
Doog: “Ok, fine. Let’s try this place up ahead. They sell something called Pizza. Sounds interesting.”
Goob: “Nice try. I know you know pizza. Remember, I went to college with you. Your arteries are 90% clogged with pizza grease.”
Doog: “Ok, fine. But I’m not trying whatever those things are. They look like old kitchen sponges.”
Goob: “Yeah, that’s Muuktu. It might look like a kitchen sponge, but it tastes like a bathroom sponge. Let’s find something else.”
Goob: “Yeah, that’s Muuktu. It might look like a kitchen sponge, but it tastes like a bathroom sponge. Let’s find something else.”
Goob: “Here, let’s try this place. I heard they have the best Spiced Muga.”
Doog: “What the heck is Spiced Muga?”
Goob: “It’s was originally a Meteo dish, but it has been modified by the different cultures here. The Meteo version is a vegetable medley with a spicy sauce. I don’t know what this version will be like.”
Doog: “So, if is a Meteo dish, it has no meat, right?”
Goob: “Yep.”
Doog: “Pass. I’ll try this Jagaroni thing.”
Goob: “Did you pick that because it was the most expensive?”
Doog: “Partially. Also, because the guy down on the end is eating some, and it smells pretty good.”
Doog: “What the heck is Spiced Muga?”
Goob: “It’s was originally a Meteo dish, but it has been modified by the different cultures here. The Meteo version is a vegetable medley with a spicy sauce. I don’t know what this version will be like.”
Doog: “So, if is a Meteo dish, it has no meat, right?”
Goob: “Yep.”
Doog: “Pass. I’ll try this Jagaroni thing.”
Goob: “Did you pick that because it was the most expensive?”
Doog: “Partially. Also, because the guy down on the end is eating some, and it smells pretty good.”
Goob: “Well, how is it?”
Doog: “It’s not half bad.”
Goob: “See, trying new stuff isn’t always bad. Meow is it?”
Doog: “No, it’s not.”
Goob: “Meow finish up your meal and I’ll spring for dessert too.”
Doog: “Why do you keep saying meow instead of now? Are you having a stroke?”
Goob: “Haha.”
Doog: “Wait…. are you telling me Jagaroni is made with cat meat? Aw, man. Gross.”
Goob: “Oh come on, you were enjoying it before you knew what it was. I didn’t pay eight credits for you to toss it either. Meow finish it up.”
Doog: “I hate you sometimes…”
Doog: “It’s not half bad.”
Goob: “See, trying new stuff isn’t always bad. Meow is it?”
Doog: “No, it’s not.”
Goob: “Meow finish up your meal and I’ll spring for dessert too.”
Doog: “Why do you keep saying meow instead of now? Are you having a stroke?”
Goob: “Haha.”
Doog: “Wait…. are you telling me Jagaroni is made with cat meat? Aw, man. Gross.”
Goob: “Oh come on, you were enjoying it before you knew what it was. I didn’t pay eight credits for you to toss it either. Meow finish it up.”
Doog: “I hate you sometimes…”
Doog: “What’s for dessert? Squirrel testicles or something? I’m not eating dessert if I don’t know what it is.”
Goob: “Haha. Nope. Just some simple ice cream.”
Doog: “Ice cream made from what?”
Goob: “Ferlofian Mushrooms. It’s called Ferf Ferf.”
Doog: “Count me out.”
Goob: “Ferf Ferf has some mild hallucinogens. It’s legal too.”
Doog: “I’m back in.”
Goob: “Haha. Nope. Just some simple ice cream.”
Doog: “Ice cream made from what?”
Goob: “Ferlofian Mushrooms. It’s called Ferf Ferf.”
Doog: “Count me out.”
Goob: “Ferf Ferf has some mild hallucinogens. It’s legal too.”
Doog: “I’m back in.”
Doog: “Well folks, Jaculus is an important and interesting place. The choices made by the native Jaculan race, including leaving the Meteon Kingdom, helped shape the galaxy. Now, Jaculus serves as a shipping nexus within the LIU Galaxy. With its diverse population, it also serves as a cultural nexus. It’s a large melting pot of several different cultures. Well, I have some Ferf Ferf calling my name. See ya next season!
Note:
Recipe for Jagaroni
½ pound of shredded cat
¼ pound of cat livers
2 cups of noodles
Spice cat meat to taste. Cook over medium heat until meat turns a dark pink. Add to prepared noodles. Grind cat livers and sprinkle over top. Bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes. Serve warm.
Note:
Recipe for Jagaroni
½ pound of shredded cat
¼ pound of cat livers
2 cups of noodles
Spice cat meat to taste. Cook over medium heat until meat turns a dark pink. Add to prepared noodles. Grind cat livers and sprinkle over top. Bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes. Serve warm.
Credits
Created by: Ludgonious
Executive Producers: Ralph DuBreuil , legolifty
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Created by: Ludgonious
Executive Producers: Ralph DuBreuil , legolifty
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