There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
LIU Atlas - Lavit
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: “Welcome to another special edition episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet, Lavit. Like with most special edition episodes, we’ll be focusing on Lavit’s unique culture instead of its economy.”
Doog: “First things first, let’s quickly summarize Lavit’s industry. It mostly involves industrial husbandry. Apparently, that means farming animals for industrial purposes, and not making robotic spouses. You learn something new every day. Lavit has immense grasslands where creatures called Rhiess are grown and raised. Why are they raised? You’ll never guess, so let me tell you – because they have a lot of fat. Yes, fat.”
Doog: “Fats from the Rhiess are mixed with locally-produced sodium hydroxide to make Lavit’s biggest export…soap. Yeah, Lavit is a boring soap world. I hope their culture is cooler than their economy.”
Doog: “Alright folks, the crew and I have been dropped off in the city of Nabulsi. Nabulsi is the ‘soap hub’ of Lavit. It’s where the Rhiess are processed and the soap is manufactured. It’s also where the planet’s culture is located. So, what is this soap culture?”
Mike: “I’m guessing it’s something pun-related, like Lavit is home to the galaxy’s best soap opera.”
Amaya: “Not even close.”
Oldie: “I’m thinking soap stuff too, but I’m hoping Lavit is the home of Maddie and the Soap Buckets!”
Amaya: “Keep dreaming.”
Seitse: “I’m hoping it’s a soap fight, and all these stinky guys get clean for once.”
Amaya: “That’s more realistic – and favorable, but no.”
Amaya: “Not even close.”
Oldie: “I’m thinking soap stuff too, but I’m hoping Lavit is the home of Maddie and the Soap Buckets!”
Amaya: “Keep dreaming.”
Seitse: “I’m hoping it’s a soap fight, and all these stinky guys get clean for once.”
Amaya: “That’s more realistic – and favorable, but no.”
Doog: “What is it then?”
Amaya: “Soap is insanely cheap on Lavit, and we need it badly. I’m talking laundry detergent, dish soap, body wash, etc.”
Doog: “What does that have to do with culture?”
Amaya: “Nothing. That’s where you guys come in. Some of us will be shopping, and some of us will be looking for cultural stuff to film.”
Doog: “We stopped here for soap deals?!”
Amaya: “Maybe. Kinda. Mostly. But, I’m sure we’ll find something here. There could be brothels.”
Doog: “I call culture team!”
Amaya: “Soap is insanely cheap on Lavit, and we need it badly. I’m talking laundry detergent, dish soap, body wash, etc.”
Doog: “What does that have to do with culture?”
Amaya: “Nothing. That’s where you guys come in. Some of us will be shopping, and some of us will be looking for cultural stuff to film.”
Doog: “We stopped here for soap deals?!”
Amaya: “Maybe. Kinda. Mostly. But, I’m sure we’ll find something here. There could be brothels.”
Doog: “I call culture team!”
Doog: “Where does one find the ladies of the night…during the day? I might have to split off down an alley.”
Mike: “I want the culture team too!”
Amaya: “Actually, I have another plan for the rest of us. Remember that drill we discussed a few months back?”
Cam: “Operation Wardrobe Drop?”
Amaya: “No, Operation Toothskin.”
Oldie: “Toothskin? Is it finally happening?”
Amaya: “It is. ASSUME THE FORMATION!”
Mike: “I want the culture team too!”
Amaya: “Actually, I have another plan for the rest of us. Remember that drill we discussed a few months back?”
Cam: “Operation Wardrobe Drop?”
Amaya: “No, Operation Toothskin.”
Oldie: “Toothskin? Is it finally happening?”
Amaya: “It is. ASSUME THE FORMATION!”
Doog: “Whoa! What’s happening?!”
Mike: “Don’t fight it, Doog!”
Doog: “Fight what?! Why is everyone grabbing me?!”
Cam: “Sorry bud, but we couldn’t take it anymore!”
Amaya: “You are going to the DENTIST!”
Doog: “HEY! That’s not culture!”
Dentist:
Mike: “Don’t fight it, Doog!”
Doog: “Fight what?! Why is everyone grabbing me?!”
Cam: “Sorry bud, but we couldn’t take it anymore!”
Amaya: “You are going to the DENTIST!”
Doog: “HEY! That’s not culture!”
Dentist:
Doog: “The only reason I’m not fighting this is the drugs! Inject me with all the painkillers!”
Pulp: “Let’s not rush into anything, I’m Dr. Pulp. Let’s take a look in your mouth. Open wide.”
Pulp: “Let’s not rush into anything, I’m Dr. Pulp. Let’s take a look in your mouth. Open wide.”
Pulp: “GAG! GAG! Holy Emperor! What is that smell?! I might need some drugs too!”
Pulp: “Let’s, um, start with some long-distance therapy where the air is purer…I mean, uh, safer. Yeah, safer. We can, um, gag, start with some x-rays. Computer, set x-ray to maximum.”
Computer: “That may cause injury to the patient.”
Pulp: “Yes, but it might injure the bacteria too!”
Shopping Crew:
Computer: “That may cause injury to the patient.”
Pulp: “Yes, but it might injure the bacteria too!”
Shopping Crew:
Seitse: “Doog lucked out.”
Oldie: “How does a forced visit to the dentist equal luck?”
Seitse: “Operation Toothskin took effect at the first dentist we found. It could have been on a much more primitive world.”
Oldie: “True.”
Amaya: “Enough about Doog. Keep a look out for the cleaning supplies.”
Oldie: “How does a forced visit to the dentist equal luck?”
Seitse: “Operation Toothskin took effect at the first dentist we found. It could have been on a much more primitive world.”
Oldie: “True.”
Amaya: “Enough about Doog. Keep a look out for the cleaning supplies.”
Oldie: “Does it have to be cleaning supplies? They have pony soup!”
Amaya: “For the last time, we’re not getting food. We’re trying to save money by shopping near the source. When we’re near Horreum, we’ll restock on your soups.”
Oldie: “Buzzkill!”
Amaya: “For the last time, we’re not getting food. We’re trying to save money by shopping near the source. When we’re near Horreum, we’ll restock on your soups.”
Oldie: “Buzzkill!”
Amaya: “I’m not a buzzkill. Lavit is a little off the beaten-path. Everything but the soap stuff is marked up. Heck, even water is three credits a bottle.”
Oldie: “Pony soup is only two credits more.”
Amaya: “That’s four more than anyone with tastebuds would pay.”
Oldie: “That cuts deep.”
Culture Crew:
Oldie: “Pony soup is only two credits more.”
Amaya: “That’s four more than anyone with tastebuds would pay.”
Oldie: “That cuts deep.”
Culture Crew:
Mike: “Doog was wrong about the alleys.”
Cam: “I figured. He’s almost never right. Besides, we don’t even know if there are brothels on Lavit.”
Mike: “I guess.”
Cam: “There’s more to culture than brothels.”
Mike: “There is?”
Cam: “Yeah, like food. Do you smell that?”
Mike: “I do.”
Cam: “I figured. He’s almost never right. Besides, we don’t even know if there are brothels on Lavit.”
Mike: “I guess.”
Cam: “There’s more to culture than brothels.”
Mike: “There is?”
Cam: “Yeah, like food. Do you smell that?”
Mike: “I do.”
Mike: “Ovi’s serves Rhiess. I thought they were only good for soap.”
Cam: “Apparently, their extra-fatty bodies are good for something else. Best sausages I’ve had in a while.”
Mike: “They’re pretty greasy.”
Cam: “That’s the liquidated fat seeping out.”
Cam: “Apparently, their extra-fatty bodies are good for something else. Best sausages I’ve had in a while.”
Mike: “They’re pretty greasy.”
Cam: “That’s the liquidated fat seeping out.”
Cam: “Delectable morsels of fat drippings are filling my soul.”
Mike: “And our arteries.”
Dentist:
Mike: “And our arteries.”
Dentist:
Pulp: “Dang it! We need more power! Convert all available energy to the dental scaler!
Doog: “Convert more painkillers to my mouth while you’re at it! I feel everything!”
Shopping Crew:
Doog: “Convert more painkillers to my mouth while you’re at it! I feel everything!”
Shopping Crew:
Amaya: “We finally found it.”
Oldie: “We did! They have Hamster Puffs! How many should I get?”
Seitse: “I don’t think that’s what Amaya meant.”
Amaya: “It’s not. I’m not telling you again, Oldie, we’re not here for food.”
Oldie: “We did! They have Hamster Puffs! How many should I get?”
Seitse: “I don’t think that’s what Amaya meant.”
Amaya: “It’s not. I’m not telling you again, Oldie, we’re not here for food.”
Seitse: “Is he having a tantrum or do we need a hospital?”
Oldie: “It’s made with real hamster lard! I want some! Give me some!”
Amaya: “A tantrum, but he’s going to need a hospital if he keeps embarrassing us.”
Oldie: “Please! Please! I’ll do anything for Hamster Puffs! I’ll be good!”
Seitse: “Just ignore him. Grab the powder.”
Oldie: “It’s made with real hamster lard! I want some! Give me some!”
Amaya: “A tantrum, but he’s going to need a hospital if he keeps embarrassing us.”
Oldie: “Please! Please! I’ll do anything for Hamster Puffs! I’ll be good!”
Seitse: “Just ignore him. Grab the powder.”
Oldie: “You can walk away, but I’m not leaving unless we get some Puffs or Pony Soup!”
Amaya: “See you on the ship, Bernard.”
Culture Crew:
Amaya: “See you on the ship, Bernard.”
Culture Crew:
Mike: “We’ve walked blocks and blocks, but there’s no sign of any culture other than food. There are no museums, art shows, sports, or concerts. It’s like this culture is only obsessed with food. If only we could figure out why?”
Cam: “Who knows, but I’m not complaining. Bring on the Rhiess sandwiches!”
Cam: “Who knows, but I’m not complaining. Bring on the Rhiess sandwiches!”
Cam: “This sandwich is essentially solidified blubber.”
Mike: “I know. It’s making me a little queasy.”
Cam: “Really? I’m loving it. It melts into grease after a few chews.”
Mike: “Stop describing it to me. You’re going to make me sick. I can’t handle five Rhiess restaurants in one day.”
Cam: “Amateur.”
Dentist:
Mike: “I know. It’s making me a little queasy.”
Cam: “Really? I’m loving it. It melts into grease after a few chews.”
Mike: “Stop describing it to me. You’re going to make me sick. I can’t handle five Rhiess restaurants in one day.”
Cam: “Amateur.”
Dentist:
Pulp: “It’s ok, nurse. It’s over.”
Nurse: “Never…again…”
Doog: “You thwink it was bad for youf?! My mouf is on fire and numb at the same twime.”
Pulp: “It will get worse when the local anesthetics wear off. Sorry, we had to split the ‘actual’ pain meds 50-50.”
Doog: “Whatf?!”
Pulp: “I’ll try to prescribe something, but I think you ate through your crews whole dental plan these last few hours.”
Nurse: “Will I ever smell again, Dr. Pulp?”
Pulp: “We can hope, nurse. We can hope.”
Back on the Magellan:
Nurse: “Never…again…”
Doog: “You thwink it was bad for youf?! My mouf is on fire and numb at the same twime.”
Pulp: “It will get worse when the local anesthetics wear off. Sorry, we had to split the ‘actual’ pain meds 50-50.”
Doog: “Whatf?!”
Pulp: “I’ll try to prescribe something, but I think you ate through your crews whole dental plan these last few hours.”
Nurse: “Will I ever smell again, Dr. Pulp?”
Pulp: “We can hope, nurse. We can hope.”
Back on the Magellan:
Amaya: “That worked marvelously. We have washing powder for laundry, cleaning supplies, liquid dish soap, and body wash for only a tenth of this episode’s cost. If things worked out on your end, Cam, we are golden.”
Cam: “Oh, it worked out for me just fine. Lavit has some of the fattiest foods in this galaxy.”
Amaya: “Fatty foods is a culture, I guess. By the way, where’s Mike?”
Cam: “Oh, it worked out for me just fine. Lavit has some of the fattiest foods in this galaxy.”
Amaya: “Fatty foods is a culture, I guess. By the way, where’s Mike?”
Mike: “Do not go in there! Phew! Solid-fat sliders, lard tacos, and grease sausages does not pair well with my stomach. How about you, Cam?”
Cam: “I’m experiencing pure bliss, thank you.”
Cam: “I’m experiencing pure bliss, thank you.”
Doog: “I can’f believe you guys did that to meef!”
Oldie: “I can’t believe I didn’t smell you say that!”
Mike: “Hallelujah, it worked!”
Amaya: “Sorry, but it was a necessary evil. Also, we achieved it while fulfilling our contractual special-edition-episode.”
Doog: “Did youf find the broffels?”
Mike: “All we found were greasy sausages and lard tacos.”
Doog: “Is that a yes, or no? I neef to knowf.”
Amaya: “Sigh.”
Note: Lavit is the galaxy’s second largest producer of industrial tetrahydrocannabinol behind Obex.
Oldie: “I can’t believe I didn’t smell you say that!”
Mike: “Hallelujah, it worked!”
Amaya: “Sorry, but it was a necessary evil. Also, we achieved it while fulfilling our contractual special-edition-episode.”
Doog: “Did youf find the broffels?”
Mike: “All we found were greasy sausages and lard tacos.”
Doog: “Is that a yes, or no? I neef to knowf.”
Amaya: “Sigh.”
Note: Lavit is the galaxy’s second largest producer of industrial tetrahydrocannabinol behind Obex.
