There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                                LIU Atlas - Vitrum

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. We’re still here in the infamous Ferox Cluster. Today, we’re visiting the unique world of Vitrum. Unlike many of the other worlds we’ve visited in the cluster, the LIU is highly concentrated here. As soon as we exited hyperspace, the Magellan was intercepted by a LIU Cruiser. We are being escorted to the LIU’s controlled port on the planet’s surface.”

Doog: “Alright folks, it looks like security here is pretty strict. Uh, what do I have to do?”
Security: “To enter Vitrum, one only needs to submit to a biological scan. We must insure no dangerous contaminants are brought to the planet.”
Doog: “Ok, phew. I saw that probe that guy over here was holding. I didn’t like where this was going.”
Security: “Oh, that’s reserved for people leaving. The exit protocols are much more thorough. We can‘t let anyone smuggle anything off world.”
Doog: “Well, it’s official. Vitrum is my new home…”

Trebax: “Welcome to Vitrum, Doog.”
Doog: “Thanks. I hope I like this place. I’m not sure I’ll ever be leaving.”
Trebax: “Oh yeah? Why is that?”
Doog: “I’m not sure I’m game for a cavity check.”
Trebax: “I forgot about that. I usually bypass security.”
Doog: “What? How?”
Trebax: “Oh, you know, small ship, radar disrupters, and old smuggling techniques. I have the clearance to enter legally, but I guess old habits never die.”
Doog: “Think I could catch a ride when we leave?”
Trebax: “Uh, no.”

Doog: “Fine. So, what’s this stuff.”
Trebax: “Vitrum is home to a complex hydrological system. Unfortunately, this water system is also home to large
amounts of sulfonic acid. You or I wouldn’t want to drink this stuff, but it’s an important component of the native species’ anatomy.”
Doog: “Noted. Don’t touch. Must keep pants.”
Trebax: “Huh?”
Doog: “Nothing. So, you said something about native life, let me guess, arachnids?”
Trebax: “Yep. But don’t worry. Because of the LIU’s heavy presence here, the Vitruman Arachnids are a little more civilized than some of the other arachnid species. They are almost fully integrated into our modern society. Many can even speak basic.”

Crura: “What up dudes! Welcome to Vitrum.”
Trebax: “Hey.”
Crura: “I’m Crura, I’ll be your guide around the planet.”
Doog: “Uh, I already have a guide, but thanks. Well, I guess we better move on. See ya.”
Trebax: “Doog, I have some general knowledge about Vitrum, but we need Crura if we really want to learn all there is here.”
Doog: “I guess.”
Crura: “What’s this dude’s malfunction, Trebax?”
Trebax: “He’s scared of spiders.”
Doog: “No! I’m not scared, I’m terrified. Get it right.”

Crura: “Aw, no worries buddy. I won’t eat you.”
Doog: “Trebax….I need your sword. There’s a spider on my shoulder.”
Trebax: “Maybe you shouldn’t touch him Crura. Let’s not complicate things.”

Crura: “Totally. Maybe we just get this tour started?”
Doog: “Uh, yeah. After you.”

Doog: “Wow. This is a big acid pool.”
Crura: “Yeah man. It’s a sea. The planet has many large bodies of sulfonic acid that are visible from space. This is one. We, like, call this one the Corallium Sea.”
Doog: “Why does he keep talking like that, Trebax?”
Trebax: “Don’t be rude. You have to remember, most of these guys learned basic from the young soldiers stationed here. That, and old TV shows.”

Doog: “Well, it’s a cool sea and all, but what’s next.”
Crura: “Our next destination is a small island within the sea. Sweet, huh?”
Doog: “Totally. Where’s the boat?”
Crura: “What’s a boat?”
Doog: “A floating thing that takes me to the island without me wading through corrosive acid.”
Crura: “Sounds sweet man, but we don’t have any of those here. I just walk across. My legs have these bundles of hair that create a lot of surface tension, which keeps me on top of the acidic waters.”
Doog: “Well, what about me? Does my hair work like that? Am I doing some type of headstand maneuver?”
Crura: “That would be radical dude, but I figured you could just ride on my back.”

Doog: “Oh no. I’m not falling for that one. There’s no way I’m going voluntarily.”
Trebax: “Come on Doog. Just do it. It’s like riding a horse…with a lot more legs.”
Doog: “Nope.”
Trebax: “Hey Crura, you guys still have spinnerets, right?”
Crura: “Oh yeah.”
Trebax: “Well, he said he isn’t going voluntarily…”
Crura: “Gotcha man.”

Doog: “Ahhh! Ahhh!”
Crura: “Sorry dude. This hurts me more than you.”
Doog: “Doubtful.”

Doog: “What is this?”
Trebax: “Check it out. The Crystal Reefs of Vitrum. Worth the ride, huh?”
Doog: “Barely. What are these crystal reefs?”
Crura: “The small islands in the center of this sea are home to a unique crystal coral species. These species are awesome.”

Doog: “Are they like plants are something?”
Crura: “No man, they’re like coral. Small microscopic species called polyps attach to these rocks and convert these acidic waters into food. The polyps secrete an crystal exoskeleton for protection. Each one of these structure is like a whole colony of these polyps.”
Doog: “Cool, I guess. They only grow here, in this one sea?”
Crura: “Yep. They are a rare commodity.”
Doog: “Commodity?”

Crura: “Some varieties of coral are super awesome. The crystalline structure totally pwns. The LIU is very interested in these varieties.”
Doog: “So the LIU collects them?”
Crura: “Not from here. These are too rare to harvest. They grow to slowly in the wild anyway. We’ve had to find a way to grow them faster in an artificial setting. Shall we head to the city?”
Doog: “Yeah. Just let me get my bearings before you tie me up in silk again.”

Trebax: “The Vitruman live in tall spires very reminiscent of termite mounds.”

Trebax: “Of course, the LIU has integrated some of their own structures into the spire. Like that landing bay there.”

Crura: “Our technology has made huge improvements since our buddies at the LIU showed up. Our walls used to be made of mud.”
Doog: “Looks like a typical hallway to me. Maybe a bit dimmer.”
Crura: “Really? It looks good to me. I do have more eyes though. Alright, make a left here.”

Doog: “Boxes of pulsating spiders! What does this have to do with crystal coral?!”
Crura: “Nothing man. I like thought we’d grab some munchies for the rest of the tour. These are the smaller species also native to Vitrum. Want some?”
Doog: “Ew, no.”

Trebax: “I’ll take one of those red ones. Crunchy, but juicy on the inside.”
Doog: “You’re kidding right?”
Trebax: “Yep. The black ones are way better.”
Crura: “Alright dudes. Let’s continue.”

Doog: “Hey, that’s some of the crystal coral from the reef.”
Crura: “Yeah. We’re growing two specific varieties here. Both have unique crystalline structures useful to the LIU. While they grow slowly in the wild, we are able to grow them much faster here.”

Doog: “How so?”
Crura: “Awesome question. These chambers create perfect conditions. Richer soil, more acidic water, and stronger sunlight. We’ve also removed predators and competing corals. These corals now grow at ten times the speed. Really though, we’re still trying to make the process faster. Demand is like really high.”
Doog: “What are they used for?”
Crura: “Weapons, dude, weapons. Come on. Follow me.”

Crura: “Welcome to the range, dudes. Here, we test new weapons technology derived from the crystal corals.”

Crura: “Most of these weapons are still prototypes, but the LIU has high hopes that one day, Vitrum will lead the galaxy in weapons technology.”

Doog: “Are those the crystal corals integrated into the gun?”
Crura: “Yep. Sweet huh? Like I said earlier. These unique corals have a unique crystalline composition. This naturally occurring crystal can focus energy beams and amplify their power.”

Crura: “When perfected, these crystal could make hand held weapons much more powerful.”
Doog: “Cause normal guns don’t usually kill people.”
Crura: “Nah, they do man. But these guns could let a single soldier compete with armored vehicles and stuff. They’re too clunky and heavy now, but we’re tinkering with the technology.”
Doog: “I guess that explains the strict security here. I guess they don’t want anyone else to have stronger weapons.”

Doog: “Well folks, Vitrum is relatively unknown now, but it may play a large role in the galaxy sometime in the near future. The planet is home to several species of beautiful crystal corals. Some of these corals are being grown for their crystalline structures which can be used to increase the strength of laser weapons. The LIU strictly controls access to this planet for that very reason. Speaking of which, I’m due for some severe probing before I can depart, so I better go get that over with. See ya!”

Note:
Doog concludes his tour of the Ferox Cluster next episode when he visit’s the cluster’s unofficial capital, Cator Furta, also known as the Smugglers’ Den.


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 6 - Cator Furta 

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                            LIU Atlas - Tantibus

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today we’re visiting the rocky, barren planet of Tantibus. Tantibus is another Ferox Cluster world that lies just one light year from our previous destination, Attonitus. These stellar neighbors  have many similar features; they both house arachnid races, and they are both home to a variation of space spice. The spice, Tantiban, street-name ‘Dream Sauce’, is only found here on the planet Tantibus.  Let’s go check it out.”

Doog: “Alright folks, we’re joined by our guide for the Ferox Cluster, Trebax. Trebax, good to see you again.”
Trebax: “Hey, as long as you keep hitting up these spice worlds, I’m game. Although Tantiban is my least favorite.”
Doog: “Really? I hear it’s pretty awesome.”
Trebax: “Don’t believe the hype. Tantiban is very dangerous in its native form. Even after being refined, its iffy at best. There are very few practical uses for the drug, so the LIU is much stricter about keeping it out of the market.”

Doog: “Is that why they built a fort here? To keep away spice dealers?”
Trebax: “I said there were ‘few’ practical uses. It’s not totally useless. Tantiban has some benefits. The LIU collects the spice in small amounts. The fort was built to protect the workers and the spaceport.”
Doog: “Protects them from what?”
Trebax: “From illegal spice dealers mostly. Several flock here to cultivate the spice themselves and sell it on the black
market. Of course, the native arachnid species is quite dangerous themselves, although they rarely wander out of the caves.”
Doog: “Let me guess…we’re headed to the caves.”
Trebax: “You know it.”

Doog: “So, any precautions this time? Advice maybe?”
Trebax: “Rule #1: Don’t touch anything. Rule #2: Don’t get eaten by the gigantic meat-eating arachnids.”
Doog: “Wow, thanks. Very confidence building.”
Trebax: “Look, I’m not trying to scare you. But, this is a little different than Attonitus. The arachnids here are not fully sentient. They have some organization, but they lack technology, language, and self control. They are heavily reliant on instinct. They will kill and eat you. So, stay close.”

George: “Trebax, who’s the weakling?”
Trebax: “This is the guy I was telling you about. He’s going to tag along and document the spice collection here.”
George: “You told him the risks, right? He’s looks a little too scrawny for fighting.”
Doog: “Hey! Who are you calling scrawny? I can totally take care of myself. Trebax, cut this guy in half for insulting me.”
Trebax: “Cool it, Doog. George is going to show us the caves. This guys been doing this for years. No one knows this place better.”

Doog: “So this George guy works for the LIU?”
Trebax: “Yeah. He’s a contractor. The LIU hires him out to procure Tantiban as needed. George can’t do it alone though, so he hires mercenaries to keep him safe.”
Doog: “I was wondering who these guys were. Thought maybe I was about to be shanked from behind by some spice dealers.”

George: “Alright boys, the caves are opening up. Be on the look out.”
Doog: “Look out for spice?”
George: “Ha. No buddy. I know where the spice grows. I’m talking about the arachnids. They can’t fit in the small tunnels, but we’re at risk in this large chambers.”
Doog: “H…h…how big are we talking?”
George: “Are you familiar elephants?”
Doog: “They’re the size of an elephant!?”
George: “More or less. More legs though. And instead of having a trunk, they have four huge razor sharp grappling arms.”
Doog: “You know what. I think I left the lights on in my ship. I better head back and take care of that.”

Trebax: “Don’t freak out on us. The arachnids smell fear.”
Doog: “Oh crap. They’re coming then. I’ve been sweating fear bullets since we entered the cave.”
Trebax: “I’m just kidding. I’m kidding. Just stick by us, and you’ll be fine. We’ve all made runs like this several times with no problems.”
Doog: “You’ve done this before?”
Trebax: “Sure. After I left Ligati, I was strapped for cash. I did plenty of odd jobs like this.”
Doog: “Well, that makes me feel a tad better. Maybe I should have a gun just in case.”
Trebax: “You having a gun? Now, that scares me.”

George: “Ah, there we go, a bundle of Tantiban.”
Doog: “That’s it?”

George: “Yes. These are the fruiting bodies of a subterranean plant. The red, fleshy part is actually a seed. The seed has a protective mucus coating that contains Tantiban. We need to remove the seed without touching it.”

George: “We keep the seeds attached to the stem to make transportation easier. The Tantiban is extracted back in the fort.”
Trebax: “You better gather it quickly. We have company!”

Doog: “Words can not describe the sickening feeling of fear coursing through my veins.”
Trebax: “Less talking, more running. I can’t hold this thing off forever.”

Doog: “My body is not cooperating right now. I’m paralyzed in fear.”
Trebax: “You’re going to be really paralyzed after this arachnid severs your spinal chord. Run!”

Doog: “Ok! Ok!”
Trebax: “Don’t run through the seeds!”
Doog: “Too late for that. Besides I don’t think we should be worrying about saving the spice at a time like this!”
Trebax: “I’m not worried about…”

Trebax: “Quit flailing around on the ground! There’s two now. I can’t block both of their attacks! We need to retreat!”
Doog: “I am running!”

Doog: “Trebax! No! Don’t leave me! I don’t want to die!”
Trebax: “Run Doog…run…”

Doog: “I’m running. I’m running. Wait, where have you guys been!? Shoot those things! They got Trebax!”

Doog: “No! Shoot better! Shoot BETTER! I can’t do this alone!”

Doog: “There’s so much I haven’t done yet! I want to get married. I want to have kids that I actually know about. I've been such bad person. I promise I’ll change! Wait. I see the light, in a good way. I see my ship too! I might live yet!”

Doog: “N…n…no…they got to the Magellan. Oh no, Oldie. You‘re dead! I mean, it was past your time, but still. Mike! Cam! Noooooo! Hugo! Noo! Timbo…oh darn.”

Gma: “It’s ok, Doog. Just give up. Give in to your destiny.”
Doog: “Grandma? How? Why are you here? You shouldn’t be here, it’s dangerous.”
Gma: “You don’t stand a chance. Run towards the spiders.”
Doog: “No!”

Jaspero: “Dude, like, you should totally go get eaten.”
Doog: “Jaspero? What’s going on?”
Jaspero: “Getting eaten is so sweet, man. Better than shrooms.”
Doog: “Now I know you’re lying!”

Doog: “What’s going on? Something’s not right.”
Big: “They’re better than chicks. Go to the arachnids.”
Doog: “I guess I should go. This is it.”

Mike: “What the heck happened to him?”
Trebax: “He ran through the plants when the arachnids showed up and got Tantiban mucus all over himself. For lack of a better term, he’s tripping balls right now.”
Oldie: “Tripping?”
Trebax: “The spice Tantiban causes users to hallucinate. Components of the spice make these ‘trips’ extremely negative. Almost like living a nightmare.”
Mike: “So he’s having a bad dream?”
Trebax: “A very bad dream. Some experts think the spice aids the arachnids in catching prey. Most creatures are completely incapacitated by the drug.”
Cam: “Somehow Doog resisted it?”
Trebax: “Nope. He fell over almost immediately after running through the mucus. We fought off the arachnids, and I dragged him all the way back here. He should wake up soon.”
Mike: “Sniff. Sniff. Did he soil himself, by chance?”
Trebax: “Very likely. A common side effect.”
Oldie: “Who needs the diapers now!?”

Doog: “What, what happened?”
Trebax: “You’ve been hitting the ol’ Dream Sauce.”
Doog: “Huh?”
Trebax: “You’ve been hallucinating a bad dream.”
Doog: “But it wasn’t a dream. You were there, and you, and you. But it had to be…you’re all alive. I’m so confused.”

Trebax: “You’ll be groggy for a bit. It will wear off soon enough.”
Doog: “So it was all a bad dream?”
Trebax: “Yeah.”
Doog: “Didn’t you say earlier that there are uses for Tantiban? Who would want to be subjected to that?”
Trebax: “No one willingly. The LIU uses it as a form of ‘punishment’, often with prisoners.”
Doog: “That’s some harsh punishment.”
Trebax: “Yeah.”
Doog: “What about the black market? Who would want to buy Tantibus for recreational use?”
Trebax: “Very few people. It’s mostly used for the same reasons the LIU uses it.”

Doog: “Well folks, Tantibus is a messed up place. It’s home to a variation of spice called Tantiban that causes users to hallucinate life-like nightmares. There aren’t many recreational users, but the LIU and some of the underworld use the drug as a form of torture and punishment. These Ferox Cluster worlds are getting more and more taxing. I need to rest up before the next planet…and change my underwear. Well, see ya.”




Note:
Tantiban was once used to treat various phobias as it forced patients to face their worst fears. Unfortunately, it often made their phobias twice as bad…and ruined lots of underwear.    


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 5 - Vitrum

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                            LIU Atlas - Attonitus

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today we’re continuing our tour of the Ferox Cluster and visiting the planet Attonitus. Attonitus is probably the most known world in the cluster, at least, indirectly. People might not know about the actual planet itself, but many people know its most famous export, Space Spice.  Attonitus is home to the strain of spice known as Awe. I was really psyched to visit here, but then I  found out that Attonitus’ native race were arachnids. I‘m terrified of spiders, but very fond of drugs. Uh, completely legal drugs…yeah. Anyway, this should be interesting.”

Doog: “Trebax, our guide for this cluster, has insisted upon meeting me aboard my ship before we start the tour. Trebax, good to see you again.”
Trebax: “Yeah. Looks like you got my message. I see you’re wearing your space suit.”
Doog: “Yeah, I am. What’s up with that? I mean, all our sensors show that Attonitus’ atmosphere is breathable.”
Trebax: “It’s breathable. You’re just not allowed to breathe it.”
Doog: “What did I do that they won‘t even let me breathe their air?”
Trebax: “Not just you. No one, but the natives, are allowed to breathe the air. Awe is a spore based plant. These spores are blowing through the air. If you breathe the air, you’re breathing in their product. Essentially you’re stealing from them.”
Doog: “What about you?”
Trebax: “My hood has a built-in face mask.”

Doog: “That’s a terrifying, but awesome facemask.”
Trebax: “Thanks. Intimidation goes a long way in this cluster.”
Doog: “I bet. Probably helps having me walk next to you.”
Trebax: “Oh yeah. You’re super scary.”
Doog: “Uh, let’s change the subject. So, if I were to take my helmet off, I’d be getting high right now?”
Trebax: “A little. There’s enough spice swirling through the air to give someone like you a little buzz. It’s a phenomenon known as, ‘shooting the breeze’. It really threw the first visitors for a loop.”
Doog: “Think I could pop this visor up for a bit? Just enough to feel the breeze on my face?”
Trebax: “The penalty is death, so I wouldn’t recommend it. Besides, here comes one of the Attonitusians.”

Doog: “Ok, I wasn’t quite prepared for this. This guy is a lot bigger than I imagined. I’m just going to stand over here with my mic pointed in your general direction.”
Trebax: “You better get used to the whole spider thing. Due to Panspermia, this cluster is full of arachnid species. They all evolved from the same progenitor species. Besides, the Attonitusian species is only aggressive if you mess with their spice.”
Doog: “Noted. So why is this guy just standing here?”
Trebax: “The Attonitusians don’t speak basic. They communicate telepathically.”
Doog: “I hate telepaths.”
Trebax: “Don’t worry. Without command of basic, he won’t get much from your brain. I’m communicating to him with pictographs. I’m trying to get us access to the spice operation.”
Doog: “But if you’re not a telepath, how do you know what his answer is?”
Trebax: “Well, in a few moments, he’s either going to kill us or lead us to the field.”
Doog: “I don’t like those odds Trebax!”
Trebax: “Relax, I’ve dealt with the Attonitusians on several occasions.”

Doog: “I guess he said yes. Otherwise, the afterlife is not what I expected.”
Trebax: “Yeah. This is one of the spice fields.”
Doog: “It looks like a creek bed of some kind.”
Trebax: “Awe only grows in the planet’s uniquely acidic creek waters. That’s why it is only found here.”

Doog: “So what can you tell us about Awe? Or space spice in general?”
Trebax: “Every galaxy has its ‘space spice’. It is just a general term. In the LIU, spice generally refers to various intoxicating plant seeds. There are four forms of spice that originate in the LIU Galaxy, three of which, originate from within this cluster.”
Doog: “And Awe?”
Trebax: “Awe is one of the most popular of the four spices. It’s the seed of the Attonitusian Vine. The seeds form in those brown seed pods. If left to mature, the pods burst and spray the seeds into the air.”
Doog: “So the Attonitusians harvest them before they burst?”
Trebax: “They don’t harvest it themselves…”

Trebax: “…they use slaves.”
Doog: “Slaves…I forgot that went on around here.”
Trebax: “The LIU doesn’t officially sanction it, but they don’t do anything about it either. Attonitus is one of the largest slave markets in the galaxy. Slavers bring hundreds of slaves here every month.”

Doog: “What are they wearing?”
Trebax: “Upon arrival to Attonitus, all slaves are locked into these suits. It prevents them from escaping, communicating, and, most importantly, breathing the spice. The suits are all computer controlled.”

Doog: “You said earlier they receive hundreds of slaves a month. Why do they need so many?”
Trebax: “Well, spice is in huge demand, especially Awe. They are constantly increasing their fields. The turnover rate is pretty high too. Lots of slaves get killed, usually by the Attonitusians themselves.”
Doog: “They kill them?”
Trebax: “As I said earlier, the Attonitusians get defensive around the spice. It’s instinct. Even now, you can see them swarming around the slaves as they work. Sometimes, they just lose control, I guess.”
Doog: “That’s harsh.”
Trebax: “Very, and it‘s getting worse. The Attonitusians used to only use Awe for religious purposes. Now,  it’s a huge product and they‘re making more than ever before.”

Doog: “This must be where it is processed.”
Trebax: “Not in bulk. This is processing for religious purposes. The seed pods are cooked and prepared according to ancient standards.”

Trebax: “The ancient standards aren’t really up to par with modern production methods. The stuff you get on the streets in about 99% pure. This religious stuff is only about 60%.”

Doog: “Is religion important among the Attonitusians?”
Trebax: “It once was. As their economy and technology advances, it plays less and less of a role. Altars are being replaced with factories. Priests are becoming foreman. The drug trade is really taking over.”
Doog: “I guess I didn‘t realize how big the market was.”
Trebax: “The market is massive, especially for Awe. It’s sold both legally and illegally.”
Doog: “Wait, I though all space spice was illegal?”
Trebax: “Not all forms. Let’s head to processing.”

Doog: “This looks a little more modern than the other architecture.”
Trebax: “Yes, this is the processing center installed by the LIU.”
Doog: “The LIU installed a center for processing space spice? Something doesn’t make sense.”
Trebax: “Well, like I said earlier, there are some legal forms of Awe. The spice actually acts as a stimulant. It increases reaction time and focus.”

Trebax: “The LIU dilutes the spice and sells it as a ‘stim’. They’re popular among athletes, soldiers, and pilots.”

Trebax: “Of course, the Attonitusians sell five pounds of Awe on the black market for every ounce they sell to the LIU. The black market stuff is ten times more powerful too.”

Trebax: “Shipments to the LIU are packaged into shipping containers, but the black market stuff goes into small boxes. It makes it easier to smuggle into the rest of the galaxy.”

Doog: “I can’t believe the LIU doesn’t stop this.”
Trebax: “The LIU stops it, just farther along in the supply line. Think about it. It’s much more profitable to let spice into the galaxy. For one, it creates more law enforcement jobs. More law enforcement means more guns, ships, armor, prisons, et cetera. Then there’s the criminal side. They need more guns and better ships too. An entire economy is created around spice.”
Doog: “It makes sense, I guess….in a galaxy revolving around profit.”
Trebax: “Hey, I don‘t know this for sure, but I‘d bet the LIU controls a large portion of the black market. It‘s a massive corporation that does anything imaginable to make money. I wouldn‘t put anything past them.”

Doog: “So that was Attonitus, huh? It’s not the greatest place, but I never really felt it was all that dangerous.”

Trebax: “Paying customers are never in any real danger.”
Doog: “Hey! What are you doing!? I thought you couldn’t breathe the air!”

Trebax: “Take it easy. We’re getting ready to leave. Besides, I can’t snort Awe through my mask.”
Doog: “You’re going to snort spice in the middle of our tour? We still have several planets to get to.”
Trebax: “Hey, there’s no way I go to Tantibus without a boost. I don’t want to die.”
Doog: “Wait, what about me? I might need a boost too!”
Trebax: “Nice try. You’re under my protection. I’m the only one that needs a boost. See you there.”

Doog: “Well folks, I survived Attonitus, the home of the space spice, Awe. The arachnid Attonitusians manufacture this stimulant in small doses to aid the LIU’s soldiers and pilots, but they also produce the drug in huge quantities to feed the spice addicts around the galaxy. Well, on to the next world in the Ferox Cluster. See ya.”
 


Note:
In small volumes, Awe increases reaction time and focus, but in large quantities, it creates a huge sense of awe and euphoria. Abusers use the spice for both properties.


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 4 - Tantibus

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                                LIU Atlas - Ligati

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. We’ve traversed the Caligavit Nebula, and we’ve finally arrived in the Ferox Cluster. The Ferox Cluster is a globular cluster in the deep core consisting of over two thousand stars. The crowded center of the cluster, where most of the stars are concentrated,  is dominated by strong gravitational forces. Almost no planets have formed in this region of the cluster. However, many of the outer stars in the cluster have planets, and they’re inhabited. Due to the cluster’s isolation, many of these planets sport unique life unseen in the rest of the galaxy. 
   The first planet we’ll be visiting is the port world of Ligati. Ligati, which orbits the star Ianua, rests at the end of the ferry route through the Caligavit Nebula. It is a staging point for the LIU’s financial exploits into the Ferox Cluster. Goods from throughout the cluster are brought here to be shipped out to the rest of the LIU Galaxy. Several citizens were relocated here to serve as workers for the port. Well, enough talk. Let’s head down to the planet.”

Doog: “Ok. I’ve been dropped off in Ligati’s port town of Turpis. This was not what I expected. The city is rundown and decayed. The actual port itself isn’t too bad, but there does not appear to be much activity there. Despite the port being safer, my guide insisted on meeting here.”

Doog: “My guide said he’d be wearing a cloak, but that’s not really helping me. The few people I’ve encountered here all seem to be wearing cloaks, even the two shady looking characters walking up behind me. Uh, hey guys. How’s it going?”

Doog: “Are you my guide per chance?”
Slaver: “Guide? I guess in a matter of speaking.”
Doog: “In a matter of speaking?”
Slaver: “Yeah. We’re going to guide you onto our ship and sell you to the highest bidder.”
Doog: “Oh, you must be mistaken. Don’t let my good looks fool you. I’m not a prostitute. And, even if I were, I wouldn’t need a pimp.”

Slaver: “What?! We’re selling you into slavery, you idiot.”
Doog: “Oh…that kind of bidder. Well, no thanks. I’m currently employed. No slavery here.”
Slaver: “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. We don’t want to damage our goods.”

Trebax: “We don’t want any trouble.”
Doog: “I don’t want any trouble either, but I also don’t want to be a slave.”
Trebax: “I’m not talking to you.”
Slaver: “Hey Trebax, we found him first! Find your own score.”
Trebax: “He’s with me.”
Slaver: “Maybe you didn’t hear me. We found him first.”

Trebax: “Maybe you didn’t hear me, he’s with me. He’s under my protection.”
Slaver: “…fine. He’s too fat to be worth much anyway."
Doog: “Hey, I resent that. I’m plenty fit to be a slave.”
Trebax: “Shut up Doog. You’re not helping matters.”

Doog: “Please tell me you’re my guide.”
Trebax: “Yes. I’m Trebax. I’ll be your guide for the Ferox Cluster.”
Doog: “What’s up with those guys? Thank the Emperor you came when you did.”
Trebax: “Slavers, the scum of the Ferox Cluster.”
Doog: “Slavers? I thought slavery was illegal?”
Trebax: “The rules…are different here. They still apply, I suppose, but they’re not typically enforced. The LIU’s forces here are concentrated around economic interests. There’s not enough of them to enforce everyday laws.”

Doog: “I guess that’s why this place looks so bad.”
Trebax: “Partially. The true root of the problems here rise from the LIU’s policy of Exul Magnis.”
Doog: “Ex hole magnets?”
Trebax: “No. Exul Magnis, forced exile. The LIU had a hard time finding citizens that would voluntarily relocate to Ligati. Instead, they forced several of them here. Many of those forced here were petty criminals. Entire prisons were offloaded here.”
Doog: “Are you, by chance, one of these prisoners?”
Trebax: “No, but my father was.”
Doog: “So, you grew up here?”
Trebax: “For a while. My mother was taken by slavers, and my father was killed in a drug deal gone bad. I spent my early years here fending for myself, fighting off slavers, and committing petty crimes to stay alive. As soon as I could, I left this crap hole. This is my first time back here in a long while.”
Doog: “Where did you go?”
Trebax: “I joined a smuggling ring that brought the ‘treasures’ of the Ferox Ring to the rest of the galaxy.”

Doog: “You’re a smuggler?”
Trebax: “I was a smuggler. I got pinched transporting some Space Spice a few years back. I’ve been out of the game for a while now.”
Doog: “What do you do now?”
Trebax: “To avoid prison time, I made a deal with the LIU. I’m sort of their expert on the Ferox Cluster. I know all the ins and outs. I protect LIU Executives visiting the cluster, help determine economic interests, and, apparently, help give tours to visiting TV Hosts.”
Doog: “Better than prison, I guess.”
Trebax: “Much. I get paid well, and I get all the Space Spice I ever wanted.”
Doog: “You do Space Spice?”
Trebax: “The red eyes didn’t give it away? I’m hooked. I’ve been doing it for years. I couldn’t stop now if I wanted.  Space spice is prevalent here. Three of the four varieties of it originate from within the cluster.”

Doog: “So, why are we here? I mean, there‘s not a lot to see.”
Trebax: “I want you to see this. I want you to drop any preconceived notions you may have. The Ferox Cluster is a dangerous, lawless place. The LIU is barely here. You’ve been here ten minutes, and you almost got sold off into slavery. There will be temptations and dangers in this cluster that you can’t face alone. You must follow my every instruction. Are you sure you want to do this?”
Doog: “Well, you‘re scaring the heck out of me, but I don‘t think I have any choice. Let‘s do it.”
Trebax: “Very well. I‘ve summoned my ship. I‘ll meet you on Attonitus.”

Doog: “Well folks, Ligati is not such a great place. It’s the LIU’s main port within the cluster, but due to failed policies, its mostly poor slums. Slavers and drug dealers run rampant. It’s a sobering look into what the Ferox Cluster has in store for us. Good thing our guide seems to be such an expert. Well, see ya.”


Note:
Space Spice is highly illegal. Just say no.     


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 3 - Attonitus

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                        LIU Atlas - Caligavit Nebula

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to Season Seven of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Caligavit Nebula, a large nebula in the deep core. The nebula’s high concentration of debris, protoplanets, and fledgling stars make it a navigational hazard. There are no known hyperspace routes through the dangerous nebula. This isn’t a problem for most travelers, as the nearby hyperspace route, the Caligavit Run, bypasses the nebula. Unfortunately for us, our destination, the Ferox Cluster, lies at the nebula’s center. Despite the warnings from the local Fari Stations, we are entering the nebula.”

Doog: “Don’t worry. We’re not going to try to make the trip with the Magellan. That would be crazy. There are several portions of the nebula that require long sub-light travel. The Magellan doesn’t have enough power for that type of trip, and we certainly don’t have that kind of time. Not to mention, the debris. The Magellan isn’t equipped with sufficient armor to risk this trip. Instead, we’ll catch a ferry. We just need to land on this small space station in order to make arrangements.”

Doog: “Alright, we’ve docked up with the station. There’s not much here. Just a little lobby to wait for the ferry and some ticket windows to purchase rides. Those without ships can buy individual tickets, but we need to bring our ship. We’ll be visiting several planets within the Ferox Cluster. It’s not going to be cheap. I decided to assist Oldie in making the arrangements so we don’t get stuck in some cargo hold again.”

Attendant: “So that’s one mid-class cargo vessel and six crew?”
Oldie: “Uh, yeah.”
Attendant: “And what is your cargo?”
Oldie: “Uh, no cargo. The vessel has been converted. Just a transport for my TV crew.”
Attendant: “Oh! You make TV? Anything I know?”
Oldie: “LIU Atlas.”
Attendant: “Never heard of it. Well, anyway, your total comes to six hundred credits.”
Oldie: “That’s a bit steep. Anyway we can cheapen it up. My crew can ride in boxes or maybe perform janitorial duties…”
Doog: “Oldie, no! For the love of the Emperor, pay the lady!”
Oldie: “Fine. But we’re not getting any snacks then…well, maybe a few snacks.”

Mike: “So everything is set?”
Doog: “Yeah. Thanks to me. We almost ended up scrubbing toilets the whole trip.”
Oldie: “Hey, I’m trying to make a little profit this year. I want to retire one of these days. Where’s Timbo and Hugo?”
Doog: “They’re prepping the ship. Once the ferry arrives, Hugo will need to fly her onboard. We’ll meet them on the ferry. The lady said it should be here within the hour. All we have to do is kill a little time.”
Mike: “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. The LIU spared no expense in the entertainment department. We have this lovely kiosk with advertisements and a newspaper from four years ago.”
Doog: “Stare blankly into space it is.”
Computer: “The Kharon, your ferry for this trip, is now arriving. Please board at this time. The ferry is set to depart as soon as all ships have been secured onboard. Thanks for flying with us!”
Doog: “Well, that was convenient.”

Doog: “Alright folks. We’ve boarded the Kharon, and we’re just waiting for the last few ships to board. The Kharon is a highly specialized ship made to traverse the Caligavit Nebula. It has powerful sub-light engines, advanced scanners, and an armored hull. We should be in good hands.”

Doog: “The ferry has docking ports on both of its sides that are large enough to hold several ships. Ferries like the Kharon transport hundreds of smaller ships in and out of the Ferox Cluster every week. It’s the only safe, reliable passage to this remote cluster. Of course, there are those who chose to risk the trip on their own, but they‘re mostly pirates and smugglers.”

Computer: “All ships have boarded. We are now departing. We expect to make our first jump in twelve minutes. We will reach the Ferox Cluster in 28 hours. Thanks for flying with us!”

Computer: “Our parking hangars are equipped with charging stations. You may charge your ship for a small fee. Feel free to remain in your ships or visit the passenger care compartment. Thanks for flying with us!”
Oldie: “I guess we better charge up the ship. There's not many civilized worlds in the Ferox Cluster. This could be our only shot.”

Hugo: “Let me guess. That’s my job. Oh well, I guess I’ll stay with the ship. Like always.”
Doog: “Don’t fret. Timbo volunteers to keep you company. Don’t you, Timbo?”
Timbo: “…”
Doog: “That’s what I thought. Alright guys, let’s check out this ‘passenger care compartment’.”

Doog: “This is it? A dingy little concession stand?”
Oldie: “They don’t even have any pony soup…”
Stewardess: “Sounds like this is your first trip aboard the Kharon. Care for a tour?”
Doog: “With you? Sure thing.”
Stewardess: “Alright. This is our café. I know its small, but there’s not a lot of space. The storage hangars take up most of the space in the Kharon. The ferry’s huge power generators, engines, and shield systems take up most of the remaining interior space. We’ve had to make do with the little remaining real estate. The café serves non-alcoholic drinks and light snacks.”
Doog: “I guess it’s better than nothing. So the café is all there is in the passenger care compartment?”
Stewardess: “Oh no. There‘s more. Follow me.”

Stewardess: “There are several small corridors like this with our patented Rent-A-Bed. If you don’t have sleeping accommodations on your ship, you can rent one of our beds for a small fee. Many travelers take a nap to pass the time.”

Oldie: “You had me at nap.”
Doog: “You’re spending money on that? What about retirement?”
Oldie: “Priorities, Doog. Priorities.”

Stewardess: “Come on. Follow me.”
Doog: “What is this? Looks like a stage. How do you have room for a stage, but not enough room for a bigger café?
Stewardess: “This isn’t a stage. This is the Observation Deck. Guests can come here and enjoy breathtaking views of the nebula.”
Doog: “I don’t see anything.”
Stewardess: “Well, that’s because the blast doors are closed. Because of the dangerous nature of the nebula, the doors can only be opened in between jumps #2 and #7, jumps #12 and #15, and jumps #30 to #37. We should be able to open them shortly.”

Stewardess: “There we are.”
Doog: “Wow. That’s awesome.”
Stewardess: “Quite the sight, huh? The gases of the nebula are ionized by the star cluster within giving it its unique fiery glow. If you think this is cool. You should see it with the lights out. Computer, turn off the lights in the Observation Deck.”

Doog: “It’s sort of romantic. Isn’t it?”
Stewardess: “Please stop touching my hand, sir.”
Doog: “I, uh, didn’t. It was an accident.”
Cam: “Rejected!”
Doog: “Shut it! Hey, what‘s that out there?”
Cam: “Trying to change the subject huh?”
Doog: “No, Look. They‘re zooming around the ferry.”

Stewardess: “No need to worry. The ferry has a fleet of support ships to help it make its journey. Look, those green ones are space tugs. The help position the Kharon into a precise position to make its next hyperspace jump. Their precision makes the journey much quicker.”

Stewardess: “The tug has a magnetic repulsor on its bumper arm. It allows the tug to push the Kharon without actually making contact with the hull.”

Doog: “What about the yellow ones?”
Stewardess: “Also a support ship. They’re like dozers. They clear obstacles from the Kharon’s path. They have two methods. The mag-disks push smaller particles out of the way….”

Stewardess: “…while the large robotic arm removes larger objects. They clear the area before any hyperspace jump is initiated.”
Doog: “Seems like a lot of work to get to this cluster. I hope its worth it. I don’t just mean for us either. I wonder why the LIU even bothers with this.”
Stewardess: “It’s not that bad now that this route has been mapped out. It used to be worse. Imagine the struggles of the first explorers. They had to map this whole thing out. And just think, in a century or two, a hyperspace route will open up.”

Doog: “Wait, what?”
Stewardess: “Yeah, the LIU is constructing a hyperspace route through the nebula. It will drop travel time down to an hour or so.”
Doog: “How does one construct a hyperspace route in a nebula? I thought it was impossible? And how does it take centuries?”
Stewardess: “Well, I’m no expert. I’m a ferry stewardess, after all. But if you look close enough, you’ll see large yellow cylinders floating around the nebula.”
Mike: “Yeah, I see one over there.”
Stewardess: “Yeah, well apparently they’re some type of gravity anchor points. The cylinders are slowly drawing in nebula dust.”

Stewardess: “As the cylinders draw in more and more dust, their mass increases, and their gravity drives get stronger and stronger. Eventually, this long line of cylinders will clear a straight hyperspace lane through the nebula.”
Doog: “Cool.”
Stewardess: “Well, that was jump #7. We need to close up the Observation Deck. Hope you enjoyed the tour.”
Doog: “Thanks. Sorry about the whole hand thing.”

Doog: “Well folks, the Caligavit Nebula is an interesting place. Despite its beauty, the nebula is a complicated navigational hazard. It blocks direct hyperspace travel to the Ferox Star Cluster. Luckily, an advanced ferry escorts people and ships through the danger. I think I might get some sleep during the rest of this journey, well, as soon as I kick Timbo out of my bed. See ya!”
 

Note:
This long journey is worth it. The gang will be doing several episodes on the unique planets within the Ferox Cluster. That is, if they don’t die first.”


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 2 - Ligati

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. 


                                                                LIU Atlas - Flumen A’ris

The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting Flumen A’ris, a desert planet in orbit around the fast spinning neutron star Nendum. Nendum’s extremely quick rotation has caused Flumen A’ris’ rotation to drastically speed up. The planet’s quick rotation gives it short days and nights, and, due to the Coriolis effect, powerful jet streams. These planet encircling jet streams and their associated
winds have stirred up Flumen A’ris’ dusty, sandy surface into a planet wide sandstorm.”

Doog: “This sandstorm, raging for nearly a century, has made surface habitation nearly impossible. Instead, the residents of Flumen A’ris live on large floating cities. These cities drift gently around the planet’s equator, where the weak neutron star keeps the planet’s temperature the most comfortable. We’re headed aboard one of these cities to meet our guide.”

Doog: “Ah, you must be my guide. I’m Doog.”
Iberus: “Hola, I am Iberus. Welcome to Bote de Rio, one of seven floating cities here on Flumen A’ris. I am the city’s mayor and economic director.”
Doog: “Yeah, nice to meet you. So, let’s skip to it then. What do you guys do here?”
Iberus: “Our economy is very diverse. The planet, and its unique properties, have created many opportunities for exploitation. Our main export is power, but we also have mining interests, and a striving fertilizer industry. I figured I’d give you a brief tour of all our industries.”
Doog: “Sounds good.”
Iberus: “To see the industries, we will have to descend to the city‘s lower decks, closer to la tormenta, er…sandstorm. For your safety, you will be required to wear a helmet with goggles like mine.”
Doog: “Uh, yeah, sure.”

Iberus: “Like I said before, power is our main export. We generate this power from two different sources, wind and static. Wind power is pretty self-explanatory; the strong winds that drive the sandstorm below also turn large wind turbines. I figured I wouldn’t bore you with spinning fans. Instead, I figured we’d head down and see the static power generators.”
Doog: “Yeah, I’ve dealt with wind power before. Let me tell ya, it blows…”

Iberus: “Between both sources of power, Flumen A’ris generates a substantial amount of energy. Unfortunately, we must siphon off a quarter of this energy to keep our cities afloat. ¡Vamos! We’re almost there.”

Doog: “What’s this?”
Iberus: “This is the static electricity generator. The bottom of our floating city extends into the top edge of the sandstorm, and the city’s hull is constantly being struck with particles of sand and rock. This builds up an electric charge. This charge must be dissipated, or my people would be shocked every time they reached for a door knob. Instead of wasting this energy, we direct the charge into static balls on the exterior of the city, como este.”
Doog: “I could use this thing on my ship. If I get shocked walking to the bathroom in my bunny slippers one more time, I might just lose it.”

Iberus: “Ha. Sí, I know the feeling. As you can see, the static ball builds up a static charge before releasing the energy into the nearby contacts. The contacts route the electric energy to our charging stations, where it is stored until it can be exported.”
Doog: “It’s a little loud out here with wind constantly blowing, but man, this static ‘ball’ creates quite the ruckus. It sounds like a mini-thunderstorm out here.”
Iberus: “Sí, the properties that make this work are very similar to the mechanics of a thunderstorm. Let’s not dwell on that, we have much more to see. Let’s head back inside. We must descend further into the city to reach our next stop.”

Iberus: “Bote de Rio has many economic uses, but let’s not forget that it is also a community. Almost a million people call this city home. Most are employed in the various industrial sectors, but we also have police, doctors, teachers, et cetera.”

Iberus: “Bote de Rio is a very large place, and many sections of the city are color-coded to make things easier for the citizens to find. As you can see, colored lines on the floor indicate the routes to various parts of the city. The orange line, for instance, indicates the route to the residential districts. Blue shows the route to our next destination, the Sand Mining Vacuums.”
Doog: “The vacuums?”
Iberus: “Sí. And I must warn you, this following area can be vary dangerous. We will be on a narrow catwalk on the bottom of the city. There will be nothing below us but the planet’s surface, which is several miles down. Try not to fall.”
Doog: “No warning needed Iberus, as a rule of thumb, I don’t try to fall off things. It might happen from time to time, but I never try.”

Doog: “Wow, it is a lot windier down here! And the sand is somewhat painful! It is almost like I’m being sandblasted!”
Iberus: “Sí, we are now in the upper reaches of the sandstorm. Any exposed skin will certainly be feeling a stinging
sensation.”
Doog: “You could have saved the ‘do not fall’ warning and told me about this, Iberus! I might have worn sleeves! Let’s make this quick!”
Iberus: “¡Lo siento! I figured you’d dress appropriately when I told you this planet is enveloped in a planet wide sandstorm. Anyway, this is one of the Sand Mining Vacuums. The sand in the sandstorm is made up of several different minerals. Three of these minerals: rutile, ilmenite, and zircon, are extremely valuable as they contain the elements titanium and zirconium. The mining vacuums have to extract these components, which only make up about three percent of the sandstorm, from the various other minerals. The vacuum has several antennas which charge these minerals to a specific ion frequency, and the vacuum inhales only these particles. We don’t produce as much as other mining planets, but it’s a nice compliment to our energy sector.”
Doog: “Hey, it’s here. Might as well take advantage of it. Shall we move on!”
Iberus: “¡Claro! But, I’m afraid it’s only going to get more painful. Our last industry is on the planet’s surface.”

Iberus: “In order to reach the surface, we must take one of our vertical trains. It is too dangerous to fly in these winds. The ‘River of Air’, as we call it, constantly blows in one direction. It’s easy to fly one direction, but very hard to fly the other way. Not to mention how much more fuel it would take. We’ll reach the surface in about thirty seconds. Prepare yourself.”

Doog: “Ahhh! My arms are burning! Phew! And I have sand in my mouth!”
Iberus: “Haha. Novato! It isn’t that bad. ¡Vamos!”

Iberus: “The first settlers here were surprised to find that Flumen A’ris actually supports some native life. The Flumen Hormiga, an extremely large ant-like species, somehow survives down here on the surface. While it hasn’t been studied too closely, it is believed that the ants farm various algal species inside their burrows.”
Doog: “Ow! What…ouch!…does this have to do with your economy? Ow! Dang it! Do you guys sell Ant Farms or something?”

Iberus: “Haha. No. The ants serves as a food for the Flumen Pájaro, the apex predator of Flumen A’ris. Look, there are some behind you. The Flumen Pájaro have large wings and glide with the planet’s strong winds. They can circle the planet several times a day searching for ants to eat. If they miss a strike, they must fly on. There is no flying against the wind. They are beautiful, no?”
Doog: “Yeah! Ahh! So, I still don’t get it! Who cares about all these animals?! Ow!”
Iberus: “¡Vamos! I’ll show you.”

Iberus: “The Flumen Pájaro take shelter in caves created by wind erosion. This allows them to rest, eat, and take shelter from the sands. It is also where they defecate. That’s where the economic value is. Bird poop, or guano, contains lots of phosphorus and nitrogen, making it an extremely useful fertilizer.”
Doog: “All this pain for some bird poop!”

Iberus: “Sí! Every so often, workers come down here, brave the elements, and scoop up containers full of guano. It’s very valuable. So, there you have it. Here on Flumen A’ris, we take advantage of all the natural resources: wind, static, sand, and guano.”
Doog: “Let’s go home!”

Doog: “Ahh! Well folks, Iberus summed it up pretty well. So, I’m going to leave it at that! I need to get out of here now! See ya!”
 


Note:
The sandstorm did wonders for Doog’s skin by removing any dry patches or blemishes. Unfortunately, it also removed a large portion of healthy skin, but the skin he has left…smooth as a baby’s bottom.


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 4 - Episode 12 - Pumilio

An inside look at Doog's wondeful life.


                                                                Behind the Scenes - Doog's Place


Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: "Hello folks. It's me, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. I am currently on a two week unpaid vacation from LIU Atlas as we transition between LIU Atlas Season #2 and #3. The producers thought it would be fun if you guys got a first hand look at what my life is like during the break. As you can see, I've taking my slim earnings from Season #2 and rented this two room apartment for one month."

Doog: "Yeah, you heard that right. Not a two bedroom apartment, a two room apartment. This here is my living room/bedroom. The other room is a kitchen. There are communal bathrooms down the hall. The bathrooms are a little scary, but I've found that if I wait until after 3AM, I have to step over fewer dead prostitutes. Oh, I almost forgot. I used the remainder of my earnings to purchase a brand new, big screen..."

Doog: "...clock. I almost had enough to get some batteries with it. For now, I just like to stare at the motionless hands. That, and my Mocie Award."

Doog: "The kitchen is alright, but it lacks a few of the basic amenities, like a microwave, fridge, and dishwasher. It did come with a bunch of rats, which actually comes in handy. They're pretty good at scraping my pots and pans clean of any leftover food. It really saves me from doing dishes. Oh, don't pay attention to that blood stain over there, it was from the previous owner."

KNOCK, KNOCK
Doog: "Whoa, who's at the door? I'm not expecting anyone."

Doog: "Aww man, what if it's bill collectors, or even worse, one of my crew members! Either way, I'm bringing a bat."

Doog: "You have no right to be here...I mean, hello there. Did you come for my autograph? Or do I need to flip my sofa chair down into bed mode?"
Susan: "You don't remember me do you?"
Doog: "Er...of course I...uh, do, uh Jennifer? Janet? Janice? Jessica?"
Susan: "It's Susan. Remember? We met two years ago. You told me you just got a job with TV2. You promised you'd marry me. When I woke the next morning, you were gone!"
Doog: "Uh...well, you see..."
Susan: "That's alright. No explanations needed. I've found you now, and I have somebody I'd like you to meet."
Doog: "Ooh, you brought a friend."

Doog: "Uh, I don't know what you're into, but the kid has to go."
Susan: "No Doog, I want you to meet him. His name is Terrance, Terrance Junior."
Doog: "Hey, we have the same name. How cool! You know what, he kind of looks like me too. Wait a minute..."

Doog: "You don't mean what I think you mean, do you?"
Susan: "Yes Doog. He's yours."
Doog: "Uh, why don't you two step out into the hallway for a minute. I need to...er...clean up a bit, and uh, put away my dog. Yeah, my dog. He's vicious. I promise, it will just be a minute."

Doog: "Oh crap, oh crap! Uh Jessica, just give me a few more minutes. Everything is almost ready."
Susan: "My name is Susan!"

Doog: "Almost ready now!"

Doog: "I'll be there in just a second."

Doog: whispers "Well folks, I have to run. Sorry the tour was so short. I guess Season #3 is starting sooner than I thought! Well, gotta run!"

Note:
Doog: "Anyone interested in a one week sublease? Or a kid?"


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 3 - Episode 1 - Crepes Culum

Find out what's happening in the LIU Galaxy!


                                       LIU Galaxy News - 1


Note: The corresponding dialogue is below each picture.

Narrator: “Welcome to the Ludgonian Industrial Union's TV2 Galaxy News.”

Spiffy: “Hello Folks! I’m Spiffy Thompson.”
Hotty: “And I’m Hotty McBabe.”
In Unison: “Welcome to Galaxy News!”

Spiffy: "Today's top story, the star Nitesco is doomed."

Spiffy: "Nitesco, long known to be reaching the final stages of its life, is expected to supernova later this week. The massive energy bursts resulting from this event will destroy the entire Nitesco Solar System. For more information on this explosive event, we turn to Field Reporter Kuti Pi. Kuti, what can you tell us about the Nitesco explosion?"

Kuti: "Hi Spiffy! I'm here on Nitesco's only inhabited planet, Fortido. Fortido, which is expected to be destroyed any day now, is home to small underground lab. Joining me is Evacuation Specialist Victor Hurm. How are you sir?"

Victor: "Wow, seriously. You're wearing that? This whole planet is being bathed in radiation from the nearby dying star, and you're wearing that. You're going to go blind and skin is going to start falling off any minute now."
Kuti: "Hehe. You think I'm cute don't you?"
Victor: "Sigh. Let's just get this over with. I don't want your skin to start dripping on my new shoes."

Kuti: "Aww. That's so nice. So Victor, boy, it's getting a little hot in here, uh...what...uh, Spiffy, why am I here?"
Spiffy: "You're going to ask Victor about the evacuation."
Kuti: "Oh yeah. So tell me about this evacuation Victor."
Victor: "Well, as you said, this entire planet is going to be destroyed by the upcoming Supernova. To prevent any losses, the LIU has issued Evacuation Order #8898."
Kuti: "So you're going to rescue all the residents?"
Victor: "What? Oh no, not the people. We are evacuating all the valuables from the lab. If we have time later, we'll come back and rescue all the copper pipes from inside, then maybe the some of the wiring, then the flooring tiles. When all the valuables are gone, we may have time to save a few people."
Kuti: "Well guys, you heard it here first, no valuable items are going to be lost in the disaster. In other news, I'm now blind. Back to you."

Hotty: "Hehe. I hope you brought some suntan lotion Kuti. The impending Supernova will damage more than just the Nitesco System. For more on this, we go to our Space Weather Expert Swete Lipps."

Swete: "Geez, I hope Kuti brought enough suntan lotion! What? You already made that joke? Uh, I hope she brought some aloe. What? Not funny? Oh, enough playful banter? Oh OK."

Swete: "There are four other stars in Nitesco's local star group. Cuspis, Nitesco closest neighbor, can expect to be destroyed in about three months when the Supernova's shock wave finally arrives. When the shock wave reaches Liathium, it is expected to have lost most of its energy. So, I've predicted that the Liathium System will me mostly deadly in six months, and partly deadly after that. The Pershesk System is just far enough away to the escape damage. Back to you!"

Spiffy: "We'll be right back after these messages!"

"Sick of school? Tired of the office? Well, head to one of the LIU's Super Farms and become a Field Laborer. Have fun while you sow your cash crop!"
*Labor is not fun. Money not included.

Narrator: "Welcome back to LIU TV2 Galaxy News!"

Spiffy: "Experts agree, the loss of Nitesco and Cuspis will not affect any of the LIU's economic interests, but the same can't be said for the possible loss of the Liathium System. For more on this story, we go to our Economic Correspondent Grogan Sithers. Grogan?"

Groogar: "My name is Groogar you pathetic human! I will kill your whole family and eat them! Uh, um, sorry. Anyway, I'm here on the Factory World of Vookar, which orbits Liathium. The factories on Vookar are one of the largest producers of Fuel Cells in the galaxy. The loss of the planet could temporarily cripple the LIU's energy production."

Spiffy: "What steps are being taken to prevent this catastrophe?"
Groogar: If you interrupt me again Spiffy, I will tear off your face and wear it as my underwear. Anyway, the blast wave from the Supernova won't reach this planet for six months, giving engineers plenty of time to construct huge shield generators. The automated factories should not be affected by the residual radiation. Now leave me alone!"

Hotty: "Oh that Grogan. He sure is a nice guy. Well, in more upbeat news, the brief and unproductive revolution on the planet Jasucent has come to an end. For more on this story, we go to Field Reporter Cindy Cyclops."

Cindy: "Am I too close to the camera? My depth perception is off. Oh what? We're on? Uh, yes. I'm Cindy Cyclops here in the middle of this empty field. Right now, senior military officials are meeting with the leaders of the brief revolution."

Cindy: "Officials believe these talks will be short and should end abruptly."

Cindy: "Most of the leaders of the revolution had no comment, and the few that did, could not be heard over the loud crying in the background. It's another victory in keeping the Union united. Back to you!"

Spiffy: "While most problems can be solved with violence, sometimes all you need is a big smile and lots of money."

Spiffy: "Today, LIU Ambassadors signed a trillion dollar contract and treaty with the KinPump Empire. The KinPump Empire, which control one hundred stars in the Guspem Galaxy, will receive five hundred capital ships in return for cash and the use of their interstellar routes."

Spiffy: "The deal means big money for the LIU, but has put the LIU at odds with the other empires in the Guspem Galaxy. These empires released a joint statement in which they stated, 'The KinPump Empire is a known terrorist group and we are disgusted by the LIU's behavior. In order to counter this threat, we will have to buy at least twice the amount of LIU Capital Ships."

Hotty: "We'll back with more after the break."

"Want to do your part to help the LIU? Sign up at any of the local Expansion Offices and get shipped off the outer rim of the LIU Galaxy. Workers are needed right now! See the universe, work hard, and expand the Union, join up today!"

"We're doing our part!"

"Can't relocate? Well you can still do your part! Reproduction strengthens the Union. So get to it!"

Hotty: "Welcome back. In entertainment news, Terrance McDoogal spent the day in court after firing a Crap Cannon into Lacunar Urbs A. For more on this story, we go live to Busty Pillows."

Busty: "Just moments ago, Doog was escorted out of a Lacunar Urbs court room. Doog was acquitted of his Attack Against the LIU charge, which would have lead to his execution, but pleaded guilty to Disturbing the Peace, which will net him another month in the Muspell Minimum Security Prison."

Busty: "Doog do you have any comments?"
Doog: “No comments, but let me just get a look at those. Wow. I know what's getting me through another month in prison."

Spiffy: Well folks, that's it for this time. Join us next time for more Galaxy News!"

Note:
Galaxy News will be back from time to time to deliver all the exciting news across the LIU Galaxy.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 3 - Episode 1 - Crepes Culum

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                                LIU Atlas - Thrax

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another special addition episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. We are close to wrapping up Season Six of LIU Atlas, and we’ve decided to make a short detour to celebrate. The crew and I are stopping at the small moon of Thrax. Thrax is an industrial world specializing in chemical manufacturing, but enough about that. Today we’re not focusing on the moon’s economy. Today we are delving into a little bit of the moon’s culture. Thrax is famous for its sport, Ringball.”

Doog: “Alright folks, we scored some front row seats to Ringball in the moon’s largest arena. I’m new to Ringball, so I really have no idea what’s going on. Luckily, our audio-man, Mike, is a bit of an expert. How do you play, Mike?”
Mike: “PUNCH THAT GUNGAN LOVER IN THE FACE!!”
Doog: “Well, I guess Mike is a little too into the game to be any help. Cam, do you know what’s going on?”

Cam: “Well Doog, we lucked out. We’re watching two of the league’s top teams, the Arsine Devils and the Diborane Slugs. The Devils are sponsored by the LIU’s official church, St. Money, and the Slugs are sponsored by the restaurant Sluglicious. All the teams in the league have corporate sponsors from around the galaxy.”
Doog: “Cool. I guess I’m rooting for the Slugs. Those things are delicious. I’m getting a bit of a cold sweat just thinking about them. So, how do you win?”

Cam: “It’s pretty simple. You get five points by throwing the ball through the front of the ring. You get eight points if you make it through the back of the ring. A perfect throw through the middle could technically net you thirteen points if it goes through the front and bounces off the wall back through the ring. That’s why both teams are defending the middle of the court so fiercely.”
Doog: “Seems easy enough. I mean, I’m getting out of breath just talking about the game, but if I was in shape, I could easily score.”
Cam: “It’s not that easy. It’s full contact, so you get roughed up pretty good. You can punch, kick, tackle, and head butt to get the ball from your opponent.”
Doog: “Sweet. Unbridled violence always makes sports better.”

Mike: “Shove it hard up the middle!”
Cam: “Cream him!”
Timbo: “Get it in the hole!”
Oldie: “Where am I? Last thing I remember is taking a nap.”
Hugo: “Get a double penetration! I wanna see balls in the hole twice!”
Mike:  “Force it in there!”
Cam: “Don’t let them ram it in! Push harder!”
Oldie: “Seriously though. Is this real life?”
Timbo: “Shoulda put a ring on it!!”

Doog: “Did we just do an impromptu episode just to use sports innuendo?”
Mike: “SPLIT THE MIDDLE!”
Cam: “Fill the gaps!”
Oldie: “Blow that whistle. Too many men in the box! Well they muffed that one! But yeah…any refreshments?”
Timbo: “Hey, playing with someone new often sends ripples through the unit. The Devils have never played together before!”
Mike: “Ah man, Jimmy shot too early. He had plenty of time to play.”
Cam: “Yeah, that gap was huge.”
Timbo: “It was gaping!”
Oldie: “Are we eating out or what? I’m starving!”

Doog: “Well folks, we’re having a ball on Thrax. There’s lots of scoring and shoving going on. Pretty firm competition. Hard to mouth it any better. See ya!”

Note:
The Devils rammed it home and took first place in the Western Conference.


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 6 - Episode 15 - Caetarius

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.


                                                                LIU Atlas - Caetarius

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to the season finale of Season Six of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we are visiting the planet Caetarius. Caetarius is about as anticlimactic as you can get on a season finale. Yeah, that’s right, it’s an agricultural world. However, it does have one thing going for it; it’s a SuperFarm. Now, if you’ve been following LIU Atlas long enough, you know a SuperFarm is a designation given to agricultural worlds when their production exceeds some arbitrary production quota. This is the first official SuperFarm we’ve visited in the history of LIU Atlas.”

Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off in a small coastal village on the planet’s smallest continent. It appears this is a fishing village or something. Ah, enough speculation, here comes our guide.”

Pêcheur: “Ah, welcome to Caetarius, Doog. I am Pêcheur Poisson, Agriculture Director here on Caetarius.”
Doog: “Thanks, Peggy.”
Pêcheur: “That’s Pêcheur, actually.”
Doog: “Oh, I heard you correctly. I’m just referring to your leg. What happened there?”
Pêcheur: “Old fishing accident. Common on this planet.”
Doog: “So, I was right. This is some type of fishing village.”

Pêcheur: “No, this village is much too small. Fishing is based out of Caetarius’ largest continent. This is just a shipping village. It ships out supplies to some of the outlying islands. There might be a little sustenance fishing, but nothing closely resembling the operations across the ocean.”
Doog: “So no agriculture here?”

Pêcheur: No, not here, but not far. To make sure all the continent’s space is utilized for agriculture, the villages here all rest along the infertile coast. All the farming takes place inland. Come on, follow me.”

Doog: “Ok, we’ve moved a little bit deeper into the continent, and here we have it, agriculture. What is this stuff?”
Pêcheur: “This is Triticum, a type of cereal.”
Doog: “I’ll stick to my frosted fruit rings. This stuff looks gross.”
Pêcheur: “Not that type of cereal. A cereal grain, like maize, rice, and wheat.”

Pêcheur: “The Triticum is a tough grain to farm. The plants mature at different times so it must be processed by hand. The mature plants turn a dark brown indicating that it is ready to be harvested. Workers find these plants and hand harvest them.”
Doog: “What is it used for?”
Pêcheur: “Triticum is mostly used as animal feed, but it can also be found in some foods, like Triticum Bread.”
Doog: “Gotcha. Shall we continue?”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, but we’ll need to catch a ride. These fields stretch for hundreds of miles. Let’s hop on a tractor.”

Doog: “Worst hayride ever. Practically the same scenery for the last five hours, but it finally looks like we’ve arrived somewhere new.”
Pêcheur: “Ah yes, the turnip fields. The elevation increases as we move deeper inland. The rain patterns here are different, making these lands unsuitable for Triticum. Instead we grow another native plant, the Caetarius Turnip.”
Doog: “Do you guys grow anything that’s not disgusting? Like Kaadu Burgers or something?”
Pêcheur: “Aw, come on. Everyone loves a good turnip.”

Doog: “Yeah, I bet they do.”
Pêcheur: “Yeah that taglines failed us in the past. Our marketing has shifted to more of a super-food, antioxidant, anti-aging angle.”
Doog: “How’s that working for you?”
Pêcheur: “Well, they’re popular with the poorer folks, but that might just be because there so cheap.”
Doog: “Well, as enthralling as turnips are, maybe we should move on.”
Pêcheur: “Indeed. We’ll need continue on by foot though. We need to venture into the highlands.”

Pêcheur: “The innermost areas of this continent are dominated by rocky highlands. These hills were once an impediment to our production numbers. We planned on flattening them out with dynamite, but, when crew began exploring, they found the caves in these highlands were full of life. Edible life. The caves were sealed up to avoid any contamination from pesticides.”
Doog: “There’s edible life in there?”

Pêcheur: “Yep. The Caetarius Snail.”
Doog: “They’re huge. Bigger than my head. Wait, you did say edible, right? People eat these things?”

Pêcheur: “Some do. My species find snails very tasty. However, only about 40% of snail production goes towards food products. Most is used for bait in the planet’s large fishing operations.”

Pêcheur: “Specially formulated liquid sprays feed the snails. They also contain a Teflon non-stick component that prevents escape.”
Doog: “What is that guy doing?!”
Pêcheur: “Harvesting. Once, fully grown, the snails are removed from the shell. They are then shipped to a coastal processing center. That’s where we’re headed next.”
Doog: “Another hay ride?”
Pêcheur: “No, this time we’ll take a train.”

Pêcheur: “Trains transport bait, Triticum feed, and other supplies to Caetarius’ largest continent. I’ve secured us a seat.”

Doog: “How long of a trip? Agriculture always makes me a bit tired. I might be able to squeeze in a nap.”
Pêcheur: “Not a lot of time, I’m afraid. This frictionless hover train makes the trip in about thirty minutes.”

Doog: “Now this is a change of pace. This actually looks like a modern town.”
Pêcheur: “Yes. This is Coast City. It spans nearly the entire length of this continent’s coast, sporting a population of about ten million souls. The majority of these people are employed in the fishing industry.”

Pêcheur: “The city has two tiers. The lower level is devoted to the fishing industry, with docks, warehouses, repair shops, and other support facilities. The upper tier holds housing and businesses.”

Doog: “Whoa, I almost got my head taken off by a crane.”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, you have to watch those auto-cranes. Each crane moves along a track so it can service up to three docks. They used to be manned, but one operator got drunk and took out about 20 people walking on the street behind him.”
Doog: “Well, I can’t say the computer pilots it much better. So, what’s next. Are we going fishing?”
Pêcheur: “Not yet. We’ll venture back here eventually, but first we need to head inland. Like the smaller continent, this continent’s interior houses more agriculture.”
Doog: “Of course it does…”

Pêcheur: “There is some Triticum and turnip farming here, but most of the agricultural operations on this continent deal with animals. Here, for instance, he have the native Brush Crane.”
Doog: “Birds?”
Pêcheur: “Yes. Brush Cranes roamed this continent’s plains before the planet was settled by the LIU. They’ve since been domesticated. Of course they do have some drawbacks. The males violently defend their mates from other cranes, so their can only be one breeding pair in each pen.”

Doog: “They don’t look all that meaty to me.”
Pêcheur: “You’re right, they don’t have much suitable meat, but that’s not what we raise them for. We farm them for eggs.”
Doog: “So, they’re like chickens that don‘t taste good fried.”
Pêcheur: “Uh, I guess you could put it that way. They do have some advantages over chickens though. They lay larger eggs, and they lay them much more frequently.”
Doog: “An advantage in the omelet department I guess. So, what are those large warehouses over there?”
Pêcheur: “You mean the milking stalls? Come on, I’ll show you.”

Doog: “Where’s the cows? All I see is a giant Guinea Pig.”
Pêcheur: “We don’t have any cows, Doog. We milk the planet’s native groundhog, the Mulgeo.”
Doog: “You milk groundhogs!?!”

Doog: “That’s just weird man.”
Pêcheur: “What makes cows so special? Mulgeo milk has just as much calcium and fat. The Mulgeo is cheaper to raise, breeds faster, and makes more milk.”

Doog: “I don’t know, because they’re rodents. Lots of things make milk, doesn’t mean I want to milk them. Heck, some humans make milk. You don’t see me drinking that.”
Pêcheur: “Speak for yourself.”
Doog: “Gross. Do you farm anything here remotely tasty?”
Pêcheur: “Well, people say we have some of the best fish in the galaxy.”
Doog: “That’s what I’m talking about. I think it’s about time we head back to Coast City and finally check out this fishing operation.”
Pêcheur: “Alright. To the docks we go.”

Pêcheur: “We’ll ship out with this crew and get a closer look at the planet’s fishing industry.”
Doog: “This is a little small for a fishing vessel.”
Pêcheur: “Oh, we don’t fish from these little ships. This is just a transport to the factory ship.”
Doog: “Factory ship?”
Pêcheur: “Yeah, massive fishing vessels that process fish on site. They’re way to big to dock here. Instead, workers and supplies are shipped back and forth in smaller vessels like this.”

Pêcheur: “Well should we do this?”
Doog: “I guess, although I’m a little concerned for my safety.”
Pêcheur: “How so?”
Doog: “Well, most of these guys have hooks for hands and you have that peg as a leg. How dangerous is fishing here?”
Pêcheur: “It’s not too bad. You’ll be fine come on.”

Doog: “Alright folks, we’re in the belly of a factory ship heading down to water level to start this fishing adventure. What am I seeing here, Peggy?”
Pêcheur: “Looks like some workers are processing some of the day's catch.”

Doog: “That’s a big chunk of fish there. How many fish did it take to make that?”
Pêcheur: “Uh, one fish. Actually, more like one-eighth of one fish.”
Doog: “What! What kind of fish are we catching?!”
Pêcheur: “Fish native to Caetarius. Very big fish.”

Pêcheur: “The fish are diced into more manageable pieces and then freeze dried for preservation. Each chunk of fish could feed several people.”
Doog: “I’m starting to get a little nervous. A fish this big might pull me into the water.”
Pêcheur: “Oh, we don’t fish with lines. The fish are too big. We hunt them by hand. Time to suit up.”

Doog: “Alright. We’ve suited up and descended into Caetarius’ ocean. What are these huge things?”
Pêcheur: “These are the staple of fishing on Caetarius, the Silurus. The Silurus are bottom feeders. They eat plants and smaller crustaceans on the ocean floor. Those little whiskers on their head aid them with this.”
Doog: “They don’t seem too dangerous to me.”
Pêcheur: “The Silurus? No, they’re not dangerous at all. They are pretty easy to catch too. They don’t fear us because we are so small. It’s easy to get into harpoon range. Once they are dispatched, we drag them back up to the boat with long lines. Easy stuff.”
Doog: “So, how does everyone down here lose limbs? Freak harpoon accidents?”
Pêcheur: “You know saying, ‘There’s always a bigger fish’?  Well, it’s true.”

Pêcheur: “This ocean is also home to the Crested Pistrix. These behemoths feed on Silurus. They’re drawn to our fishing grounds by the Silurus’ blood in the water.”
Doog: “Should we run! I’m running!”
Pêcheur: “Nah, as scary as they are, we fish them too. Tons of meat on these guys.”
Doog: “Screw that!”
Pêcheur: “Careful Doog! Stay with the group! You’re not safe up there.”




Ten minutes later…

Doog: “Uh, where am I?”
Pêcheur: “You’re back on the factory ship. You passed out when that Pistrix bit off your hand.”
Doog: “Ahh! What! Noooo! I don’t want a hook hand!”

Pêcheur: “After the Pistrix bit off your hand, you crazily swam into mouth screaming something about your microphone. Thank the fishing gods it swallowed you whole. We killed it and cut you out.”
Doog: “So you saved my microphone!?”
Pêcheur: “Uh yeah. And your hand too. It’s a pretty clean cut. I think they can save it. Unfortunately we can’t get it to release the microphone.”
Doog: “Good job, Righty. Never let go!”

Doog: “Well folks. I guess Caetarius is a little more interesting than your typical agricultural world. Its wide range of native species, from milk producing groundhogs to gargantuan fish, allow the planet’s citizens to produce tons of food. Well, I guess I need to get to hospital. What a way to spend my two week vacation in between seasons. Oh well, see ya.”


CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 7 - Episode 1 - Caligavit Nebula