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Season 5 - Episode 23 - Praestigiae

8/11/2015

LIU Atlas - Praestigiae

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Praestigiae

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to the season finale of the fifth season of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’ve ventured far out into the galaxy’s outer rim to visit the planet Praestigiae. Praestigiae’s position in the outer rim makes it a frequent arrival point for visiting dignitaries. In order to serve these dignitaries, a large Ambassadorial Complex was built on the planet‘s equator. The complex serves as a diplomatic meeting place where LIU ambassadors, negotiators, and sales managers can meet with representatives from other galaxies. Several deals, treaties, and alliances have been negotiated here, making Praestigiae one of the more important worlds we‘ve visited.”

Doog: “Alright folks, I’m in some type of waiting room near the entrance of the Ambassadorial Complex. Security looks to be pretty tight. I guess I’ll wait here for my guide.”

Ludlum: “Ah, there you are. I hope you haven’t waited long. I was finishing up a trade agreement with the Sargarian Empire. I’m Todd Ludlum by the way. I’m senior diplomat here at the Praestigiae Ambassadorial Complex. Uh…are you going to leave me hanging or what?”
Doog: “You actually want me to shake your hand? Most of the ‘important’ guides I’ve interviewed wanted nothing to do with me.”
Ludlum: “Ha, I’m not that important. Sure, I’m an elite citizen that makes billion dollar deals, negotiates treaties, and prevents intergalactic wars, but who’s counting. Well, if you are ready to see some of our operations, we’ll begin the security screening.”

Doog: “Uh, what’s going on? What is this thing?”
Ludlum: “Just a security scanner. We need to insure no weapons are being brought into the complex. Not all the diplomats we receive here are on the friendliest terms with the LIU. Just stay still for a few moments.”

Ludlum: “This is one of the complex’s ballrooms, ideal for throwing galas, mixers, and cocktail parties. Most business is done in informal settings like this rather than formal meetings. The ever flowing alcoholic beverages might be the cause. If you…”
Doog: “How did I…never mind, continue.”

Ludlum: “We’ve spared to expense in making this complex. This rug is made of the finest Aranea Sericon silk. It took two dozen involunteers a month to hand sew it. The chandelier above us is made of the purest gold imported from Laceratus. Its refractive crystals are actually pure carbon diamonds.”
Doog: “Yes. Everything looks expensive. I’m afraid to move, I’ll probably ruin something.”
Ludlum: “Expensive, yes, but a drop in the bucket compared to the amounts of money made in the complex. We treat even the poorest empires to all we have to offer. It’s funny how much good will towards the LIU can be generated by greasing up foreign dignitaries.”
Doog: “Speaking of which, I don’t see any foreigners here, only humans.”
Ludlum: “Well, today is a special occasion. We have something important to discuss. Before we get that, how about some refreshments?”

Ludlum: “I bet this guy looks familiar. We brought in some natives from Niflheim to be part of the service staff. Their astounding customer service skills are galaxy renowned.”
Staff: “Doog, may I interest you in a glass of Iacchus Wine? Otherwise known as the Elixir of the Gods? The fermented berries come from only one planet, Iacchus, an inhospitable hell-hole. It’s safe to assume that at least four workers died picking the berries for this bottle. It’s said that you can taste their despair.”
Doog: “What! I’m a man of the people. I could never drink something like that!”
Ludlum: “Well Doog. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Everybody gather around.”

Ludlum: “Doog, your show has made the LIU tons of money. The syndication rights are worth billions of credits on their own. Besides that, you’ve become something of a celebrity lately. I’m here as a representative of the LIU, and after much discussion, we’ve decided to enhance your citizenship status. You, my friend, are now an elite-citizen.”
Doog: “Me? I…I don’t know if…I’m a man of the…are you for real?”

Ludlum: “It’s quite unusual for a man of your resources to be given this title, so we’ve decided to make a one time donation of five hundred million credits to your bank account. After that, you’ll be included in the corporate profit sharing.”
Doog: “I really don’t know if I can…”

Doog: “…decide what I’m going to buy first! Screw the people! I’m rich! Woohoo! Bow before me!”
Ludlum: “Hehe!”

Doog: “What the heck! Where am I?”
Ludlum: “Ha. Sorry Doog. I couldn’t resist.”
Doog: “Couldn’t resist what? Is this how you treat elite citizens?”
Ludlum: “Yeah, about that, you’re not actually an elite citizen. It was all an illusion. You’ve been dreaming.”
Doog: “What! No! Impossible!”

Ludlum: “I’m afraid so. You know that ‘security scan’ you submitted to, well, it was actually a brain wave mapper. After the mapping was completed, the scanner caused you to become unconscious, and we moved you to the dream chamber.”
Doog: “Why would you do this?”
Ludlum: “We do it to all our visitors. We handle hundreds of dignitaries a month, meeting all their needs was becoming expensive. It was a waste of money. Why actually give these people anything when you can just make them think you did. Like you, all the guests submit to the scan, have their brains mapped, and then are brought into the warehouse.”
Doog: “The warehouse?”
Ludlum: “Yes, where we are now. Other than the waiting room, this entire complex is just a simple warehouse filled with dream link machines.”

Doog: “How does it work?”
Ludlum: “It’s called dream sharing. We simply upload your consciousness into our dream matrix. One of the LIU’s ambassadors will upload his consciousness into the dream as well. We’ll then interact in the dream. Come on, let’s go back in and I’ll show you some of the benefits. Katherine, please begin the upload process. Oh, and better make it ghost mode.”
Katherine: “Yes sir.”
Doog: “Ghost mode?”
Ludlum: “So the other dreamers don’t see us.”

Doog: “This is the same room you devastated me in. Thanks for bringing back the memories…”
Ludlum: “Yes. The ballroom is one of our favorite artificial constructs. You can see here one of my ambassadors meeting with the KinPump Empire. I believe he’s negotiating the use of their trade routes. Let’s listen in.”
O’-Lantern: “This is fine KinPump Ale. How did you ever know it was my favorite?”
Diplomat: “Your grace, the LIU always strives to please its most important guests. In fact, I brought something even more special. Waiter!”

O’-Lantern: “Impossible. The Saficant Gourd is all but extinct. The few remaining gourds are priceless. How did you come across one?”
Diplomat: “They’re not priceless, just mighty expensive. I had someone pick one up from your galaxy. Only cost a few billion credits.”
O’-Lantern: “That’s more than our deal is worth!”
Diplomat: “Well, I guess you should have no problem signing the agreement then.”
O’-Lantern: “Of course not. Get me a pen.”
Diplomat: “Excellent. Let’s eat.”
Doog: “You tricked them…”
Ludlum: “Yep. Bribery and flattery are so much cheaper in the dream world. It’s brilliant, but it is not our only method. Let‘s upload into another dream.”

Doog: “Whoa. Did we get uploaded into a wet dream? Weird.”
Ludlum: “Sex sells, and the mind mapper knows all your innermost desires. We can devise situations that you could never say no to.”

Plu’Karrath: “Wow. This is sort of freaky. It’s almost like you’re reading my mind. How did you know my kinks? It’s sort of embarrassing.”
Diplomat: “No, no. Don’t worry. We set this up so you could enjoy yourself for a bit. We’ll finish up business later.”
Doog: “Wait, isn’t this the same method? I mean, you’re bribing him with sex.”

Ludlum: “Nope, because in these types of situations, we use blackmail.”
Doog: “Blackmail?”
Ludlum: “Yep. We capture a digital image from the dream like this. If the foreign diplomat says ‘no’, then we threaten to mail this little picture to his mating partner. You’d be surprised how many people would sell out their empire to avoid a woman’s scorn.”
Doog: “That’s just plain dirty.”
Ludlum: “Yep, but it works. Come on, let’s see another method.”

Ludlum: “The dream matrix is also useful for extracting information. We can listen in on conversations when the foreign diplomats think they are alone. We can see their access codes, bank accounts, shield frequencies…whatever they discuss or look up while in the dream.”

Security: “Sir. I’ve scanned the room. I didn’t find any listening devices. But I think we should be careful and use a secure server.”
Diplomat: “Relax. The LIU put us up in one of their most expensive rooms. They have tea imported from our home galaxy that costs more than you make in a lifetime. The LIU has so much money I don’t really think they are worried about us and our little twenty planet coalition.”

Ludlum: “And BAM! We’re in. Let’s see. Looks like he’s logging into his coalition’s secure server. HUMANSSUCK69 is his password. Nice. Well, it looks like we have access to his server. Who knows what valuable secrets we’ll find on there?”

Doog: “Well folks, I owe everyone an apology. I might have said a few things I regret and acted out of character when I thought I was an extremely rich elite citizen. I am a man of the people. Sorry.”
Ludlum: “Apology accepted Doog.”
Doog: “I wasn’t talking to you $@&%face! I can’t believe you did that to me! Well, Praestigiae is an interesting place. Foreign dignitaries are tricked into entering a dream world where they are bribed, blackmailed, and tricked into signing agreements with the LIU. It’s brutal. See ya next season!”

Note:

Woman: “Hey, you’re Doog right? I’m your biggest fan! Maybe we could get a drink or something before you leave.”
Doog: “Yeah, I’d like that…wait a minute…you’re too beautiful for someone like me. Ludlum!”

Ludlum: “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”
Doog: “I don’t know what’s real anymore!!”

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 6 - Episode 1 - Jotunheim

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Season 5 - Episode 22 - Ferrariae

8/11/2015

1 Comment

LIU Atlas - Ferrariae

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Ferrariae

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the small, carbon rich planet of Ferrariae which orbits the brown dwarf star Brunneis. Brunneis is not a main sequence star as it does not have sufficient mass to fuse hydrogen-1. Brunneis generates thermal energy from the gravitational collapse of its gases and the fusion of weaker hydrogen isotopes like Deuterium. This makes it much cooler than a ‘standard’ star. Ferrariae sits in Brunneis’ extremely thin and extremely close habitable zone, only .001 AU or roughly 100,000 miles away.”

Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped of on Ferrariae’s surface in some type of busy industrial zone. There appears to be a lot of train traffic and worker movement. Strangely, it’s quite warm here despite the planet being in orbit around a brown dwarf star. Ah, I think I see my guide.”

Doog: “Hello there. I’m Doog. And you are?”
Kurg: “I’m annoyed is what I am! Thanks to your fancy show, I have to wear this freaking monkey suit!”
Doog: “Well Annoyed. Pleasure to meet you. I like your suit.”
Kurg: “Grrrr. Got ourselves a wise guy, huh? Well, I’m not the one to be messed with today. I’m currently debating on disemboweling you.”
Doog: “Settle down. Looks like we got off to a bad start. Let’s try this again. I’m Doog. And you are?”
Kurg: “I’m Kurg. I’m the supervisor of the Ferrous Works, a division of the Ferrariae Steel Company. I’m a busy man with lots of work on my plate. I don’t have time for show and tell. And I certainly don’t want to be wearing this polyester fire hazard in the middle of the Ferrous Works.”
Doog: “Well, I’m sure the viewers appreciate your sacrifice. So I keep hearing you talk about the Ferrous Works.
What’s that?”
Kurg: “The works are one of two divisions of the Ferrariae Steel Company. The other being the Carbon Mines. Here, in the Ferrous Works, we process and purify iron collected from Brunneis.”

Doog: “Wait, you collect iron from a star?”
Kurg: “Yes stupid! Clean your ears out. That’s what I just said.”
Doog: “I heard you, it’s just well…I never heard of mining iron from a star.”
Kurg: “Ugh! I don’t know what’s more frustrating, your face, this suit, or the universe’s lack of knowledge when it
comes to brown dwarf stars. Look, iron is abundant in all stars. It’s the sixth most abundant element in the universe. It’s just harder to procure from main sequence stars as they are too hot. Are you taking notes? I’m not saying this again! Now, where was I…oh, on brown dwarf stars, iron exists as a gas. Yes, a gas. Don’t interrupt me or I’ll smack you mouth off your face. Typical brown dwarf stars burn at two to three thousand Kelvin, more than enough to vaporize iron. As the vaporous iron cools in the upper atmosphere of the star, it condenses into iron clouds. When it cools ever further, it falls as molten iron rain. We collect this molten iron rain. It’s cheaper and purer than collecting it from a planet’s crust.”
Doog: “Looks like I’m going to need a better umbrella! But seriously, sounds cool. How is it collected?”
Kurg: “Follow me.”

Doog: “It looks like Chris Phipson’s basement down here, well, minus the screaming women.”
Kurg: “Who the heck is Chris Phipson? Sounds like a pervert.”
Doog: “Some guy I met at this award show once. So, where are we headed?”
Kurg: “To get to the processing facility near Brunneis, we’ll need to take the Rail Launch System.”
Doog: “The what?”

Kurg: “The Rail Launch System. A magnetically driven train that shuttles personnel and materials between Ferrariae and a station just above Brunneis.”
Doog: “A train that travels between two different bodies?”
Kurg: “Yes. We’ve constructed a magnetically driven track approximately one hundred thousand miles long. It’s powered by the star’s magnetic fields. The trains travels at extremely high speeds, making the trip in under fifteen minutes.”

Doog: “Look. One’s launching right now.”
Kurg: “Yes. Several trains launch everyday transporting molten iron from Brunneis to Ferrariae. Once back on Ferrariae, the molten iron is combined with carbon mined from the planet to form steel.”

Kurg: “Once this train reaches a safe distance, we’ll board a transport shuttle and head to the Brunneis Station. That is, if your weak human frame can handle the G’s. ”
Doog: “Actually, I don’t do so well with roller coasters, and I had a pretty big lunch. Maybe we should reduce the speed a tad.”
Kurg: “Haha. Yes, of course! I’d be glad to alter our operation here just to appease your weak stomach!”
Doog: “Really?”
Kurg: “No. Now let’s get going.”

Doog: “Oooh! That’s a lot of acceleration! I’m not feeling so well…”
Kurg: “Uhh! You just regurgitated your stomach contents all over my shuttle! And wait…is there vegetables in this vomit? I’ve lost the little respect I had for you!”
Doog: “No! I’m a carnivore! I swear! There was some vegetable toppings on my shark tacos! But I only ate them to get to the shark meat!”
Kurg: “Sure!”

Kurg: “If you can see out the vomit covered window, the Brunneis station is coming into view. The station uses repulsor lifts to ride the star’s magnetic field lines. Alright. Prepare for deceleration.”
Doog: “Oh no…”

Kurg: “The station has a small habitation unit attached to its side. Workers complete year round rotations on the station before returning to Ferrariae. The unit is shielded to prevent radiation contamination. If…”
Doog: “Wait. We are right above the star? Can we take a look out the window?”
Kurg: “Your interruptions infuriate me! If these windows weren’t triple layered trans-steel, I’d throw you through it. You’d see the star up close and personal! You‘d get…”
Doog: “Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Can we take a look?”
Kurg: “Gwah!!!”

Doog: “So this is a brown dwarf star? Not very bright.”
Kurg: “Not in the visible spectrum, but it is bright in the infrared spectrum. The little light you are seeing is produced when the iron clouds cool into molten rain.”
Doog: “A glowing rainstorm of fiery metal. Impressive. Whoa, check out the lightning!”
Kurg: “Yes, the star has very powerful electrical storms. Think about it. There’s tons of metal swirling around in the atmosphere.”
Doog: “Hmm. I thought about it. And now my head hurts. Thanks Kurg. Let’s continue.”

Kurg: “The molten iron is pulled aboard the station and deposited into various blast furnaces like this. The material is only about 95% pure when it is drawn into the station. These furnaces burn out any contaminants, specifically oxygen.”
Doog: “It’s hotter than @&%# in here! Holy Kaadu! Let’s go.”
Kurg: “Such a weakling…”

Doog: “Between the puking, the thinking, and this burning inferno of doom, I’m ready to pass out. I don’t know how much more I can handle.”
Kurg: “Well, I guess we’ll head back then. Ready to take the shuttle back to Ferrariae?”
Doog: “Crap! I forgot about the return trip. Maybe I’ll just throw myself into the furnace instead…”

Kurg: “How many tacos did you eat! Your stomach must be endless.”
Doog: “I don’t want to talk about it. Where are we now? Oh man, tell me that’s not another furnace.”
Kurg: “Yes, this furnace keeps the iron liquid so other elements can be added to it. Iron on its own is weak and subject to corrosion.”

Kurg: “Carbon, mined on this planet, is added to transform the iron into steel. A few smaller additives, classified additives, are added to make our unique version of steel. The mixture is then sent to the molding center to be formed into steel beams.”

Doog: “These must be the beams.”
Kurg: “Yes. Ferrariae Steel is a perfect blend of strength and flexibility. It is great for building large structures on planetary bodies. We produce millions of these beams a day, barely enough to support the galaxy’s construction boom.”
Doog: “Interesting. Well, hopefully this is it? I need a nap.”
Kurg: “Yes. Thankfully. After dealing with you all afternoon, I need a nap too. And a shower, thanks to your projectile vomiting…”

Doog: “Well folks, Ferrariae is a terrible place. It’s loud, hot, and their public transportation system leaves a lot to be desired. Don’t even get me started on the inhabitants. They’re not the most pleasant bunch. But, Ferrariae is an important world. By harvesting its brown dwarf stars abundant iron, they are able to produce quality steel. Well, see ya next time.”

Note:
Turn in next time for the season finale of LIU Atlas when Doog finally gets his due…well maybe.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 23 - Praestigiae

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Season 5 - Episode 21 - Etesia

8/11/2015

1 Comment

LIU Atlas - Etesia

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Etesia

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the tropical world of Etesia. Etesia has several small island continents spread throughout its large ocean. These islands are home to several plantations that take advantage of Etesia‘s abundant rain. I’m told these rains are particularly fierce during Etesia‘s monsoon season.”

Doog: “Alright folks, I’ve been dropped off on a small island continent just north of the planet’s equator. I’m not going to lie, it’s one of those days where I don’t hate my job so much. It’s beautiful here. Warm and sunny with a slight breeze. The ocean water is crystal clear, and the blooming alien foliage is emitting a pleasant aroma. It’s a paradise. Then I remember that I’m here to work, and this is an agricultural planet. Boring… Ah, I think I see my guide approaching.”

Percy: “Doog! Welcome to Etesia. I’m Lord Percy Hollington, proprietor of this plantation.”
Doog: “Hey Percy. How’s it going? Beautiful planet you have here. The weather’s great.”
Percy: “Great for you. These clear skies are a bit of a concern to me.”
Doog: “What do you mean?”
Percy: “Well, it should be raining. Our crop depends on it. We don’t see many clear days here on Etesia.”
Doog: “What crop do you guys farm?”
Percy: “Dulcifer Melons, a fruit native to this planet.”
Doog: “I’ve never heard of them, but I am a big fan of melons. And coconuts. And jugs…”
Percy: “Haha. I think we are speaking about different things, Doog. Come with me. I‘ll show you a proper Dulcifer Melon.”

Percy: “Welcome to the Hollington Plantation. This little gem has been in my family for centuries. It’s the largest melon farm on this island.”

Doog: “Wow, these fields stretch forever.”
Percy: “Yep. We own over four hundred square miles of land, and most of it is used to grow Dulcifer melons.”
Doog: ‘I presume these pink things are the melons?”
Percy: “Correct. These sweet, juicy melons are made up of 90% water and 8% sugar. Their water content makes them popular on hot or desert planets. Unfortunately, it also means the fruits need a lot of water to grow. They only grow when they get enough rain. That’s why these clear skies are starting to worry me.”
Doog: “I see. And who are these strange looking guys tending the fields?”

Percy: “These blokes? These are the native Etesians. They’re docile creatures. Pretty good workers too. My family couldn’t farm this much land without their labor. Hell, they outnumber us humans 1000 to 1.”
Doog: “How do you keep them under control?”
Percy: “Like I said, they’re pretty docile. They get to eat some of the melons, and they get a few other necessities to keep them happy. Besides, they‘re not the smartest alien race we‘ve come across.”
Doog: “That may need some clarification. I‘ve met a few humans that would really surprise you in the stupidity department. Have you met my editor Timbo?”

Percy: “Ah. Home sweet home.”
Doog: “Wow, it’s huge. Do the Etesian live in here with you or something?”
Percy: “Good heavens, no! Just my family. The Etesians live in some awful ground burrows. I tried to build them some shelters, but they preferred their little holes.”
Doog: “I think we all prefer little holes, Percy. So, why exactly are we going to your house? Is the tour over?”
Percy: “No. Not yet. But I need to get to the bottom of this rain situation. I can lose millions of melons and credits if I don‘t get this sorted out.”

Percy: “This is my study. Franny, what are you doing in here. This is my man cave. We’ve spoken about this.”
Franny: “Sorry dad. I just wanted to meet Doog. Hi Doog!”
Doog: “Uh hey. I like your melons…er…I mean your melon farm. Oh, who am I kidding…nice boobs.”
Percy: “Doog! That’s my daughter! Franny, maybe you should run along. Here, take my machete before I contemplate beheading Doog.”

Franny: “Bye Doog!”
Doog: “Bye…Sorry Percy. I have my weaknesses. Don’t judge me.”

Percy: “Very well then. Can I interest you in a brandy? One does not solve a rain crisis with a clear head.”
Doog: “No thanks. I wouldn’t want my temptations to get the better of me. So, how are we going to solve this ‘crisis’ from your study?”
Percy: “I need to look at some radar imagery. Computer, convert my digital portrait frame to weather imagery.”
Computer: “Yes, sir.”

Percy: “Ah. There we go. What’s this! Those morons are stalling out my Aquaelicium Unit!”
Doog: “Uh, what’s going on? I’m lost.”
Percy: “The Dulcifer Melons need lots of rain to grow. Before, the melons only grew during the short monsoon season. The monsoon seasons last only two months of the seven month year. To insure we can farm year round, we’ve installed Aquaelicium Units to keep the monsoons going all year long.”
Doog: “Aquaelicium Units?”
Percy: “Yes. Rain-makers. And the two Etesian idiots I left in charge have nearly stalled the unit. A storm is building up, but its centered over the ocean instead of my plantation. We need to take a trip to correct this.”
Doog: “I’m game.”

Percy: “This is one of my Aquaelicium Units.”
Doog: “How does it work?”
Percy: “The unit pumps up water from the ocean below and uses heat to convert it into water vapor. The vapor is released from the top of the unit and condenses into clouds. The added moisture and heat in the atmosphere creates powerful rain storms.”

Percy: “We need to dock with the station and make some adjustments. For starters, the unit needs to be revved up. It’s not making enough clouds for the rain to start to fall until after it passes over the island.”

Percy: “I knew better to leave these guys alone too long. I’m usually here supervising, but I took the day off to show you around.”
Doog: “Sorry. Things do tend to fall apart when I’m around.”
Percy: “Alright. That ought to do it. Come on, let’s head back. It’s about to get rainy!”

Percy: “That’s a sight for sore eyes.”
Doog: “Wow, that’s a massive storm, and it is headed this way.”
Percy: “Indeed. Well, I need to get back to the unit. I can’t afford another drought.”
Doog: “Yeah, when you leave I have some melons that I need to tend to as well.”
Percy: “Computer.”
Computer: “Yes sir.“
Percy: “Please lock down my estate. And get me my MACHETE!”

Doog: “Well folks. I need to get running. Etesia is a unique place. Using advanced rain making machines, farmers here are able to prolong the planet’s monsoon season. The heavy rains associated with the monsoons keep the production of Dulcifer Melons to a maximum. Got to run. See ya!”

Note:
Having second thoughts about your outside wedding? Need to delay the start of your favorite sports match? Rent a Aquaelicium Unit at your local LIU Store.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 22 - Ferrariae

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Season 5 - Episode 20 - Vnam Multas

8/11/2015

2 Comments

LIU Atlas - Vnam Multas

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

Vnam Multas

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Onboard the Magellan:

Mike: “Fifty percent of the team we’re losing to is made up of Oldie. You need to step up your game.”
Doog: “Me? You’ve hit me more times than you’ve hit the ball.”
Mike: “Well maybe you’d be able to get out of my way if you weren’t lugging around that FREAKING MICROPHONE! Seriously!”
Doog: “I know just the place I want to put it!”
Oldie: “Quit your fighting ladies. Cam and I are the only ones handing out beatings around here!”
Cam: “Haha!”

Doog: “Uh-oh. This is never good.”
Mike: “I don’t hear any warnings from the computer. Think Hugo’s freaking out again?”
Doog: “Hugo! What are you doing up there?”
Hugo: “The computer detected a collision risk and automatically brought us out of hyperspace. The jolt must have knocked out some of our systems. I’m getting them back online as we speak.”
Doog: “A collision? Mike did you plot our course through a planet again?”
Mike: “No! At least, I don’t think I did. Wait…it’s not pirates, is it?!”
Hugo: “Relax. It’s not planet’s nor pirates…it’s traffic.”
Doog: “Traffic?”

Hugo: “Yeah. And a lot of it. Come take a look.”
Doog: “What in Kaadu’s name…why is there so much traffic.”
Mike: “This must be the ‘Merge’. I knew there would be increased traffic, but this is outrageous.”
Doog: “The merge? I never heard of it.”
Mike: “It’s a junction of several smaller, outlying hyperspace routes. They all come together here and merge to form the Deep Core Expressway. The expressway is one of the few safe routes through the Deep Core, other than the Corcot Run. We can go around, but there’s not a faster way to get across the galaxy. We’d add a week, at the least, to our trip.”
Doog: “Screw that. How long is this traffic jam going to last?”
Hugo: “I got the computer back online. We’re receiving an automated message from a nearby space station, Vnam Multas.”
Doog: “Well what does it say?”
Hugo: “Cargo ships are being given priority. Delays are expected. We’ve been given clearance to take the Deep Core Expressway in four standard hours.”
Doog: “Four hours…better than a week I guess.”

Mike: “Wait! I know Vnam Multas. I read a book on it once.”
Doog: “Oh did you? Well, next time we’re on a civilized planet, remind me to get you a medal.”
Mike: “Shut up and think about it. We have fours hours to kill. We can shoot an episode about the Vnam Multas Station, and I can be the guide!”
Doog: “Nah. I’d rather take a nap.”
Oldie: “I think we go with Mike on this one. Every episode we can squeeze out brings us closer to the edge of profitability. We might actually make some good money this season.”
Doog: “Fine. Money would be nice.”
Oldie: “Cam, fire up the space camera. Hugo, make for the station. Timbo, you’re on audio today. Let’s get going!”

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the Vnam Multas Station. The station sits at the merger of several smaller hyperspace routes. And that’s about all I know about it. Today’s guide, my friend Mike, once read a book about it. Apparently, that makes him an expert of sorts. Mike, what can you tell us about Vnam Multas?”
Mike: “Well, Vnam Multas is one of the largest space stations in the LIU Galaxy. Station might not even be the right word for it. It’s more like a space city. Over twenty five million people live here permanently.

Mike: “The station has many purposes, but its main purpose is being a cargo hub. About 15% of the products moved through the LIU Galaxy come through here at some point.”

Mike: “The station also serves as a traffic control center. Thousands of ships come through here daily, and the station must direct traffic to avoid any collisions.”

Mike: “Last, but not least, the station is home to several space-based LIU companies. Many profitable LIU companies are headquartered here.”

Doog: “Running out of material yet?”
Mike: “Nope. I’m just getting started. The top of station is a massive communication array and radar tracking system. This allows the station to track every ship within two light years.”
Doog: “Well, shall we move in closer? Hopefully you can tell us about the different sections of the station…if you read that far.”

Doog: “What’s this?”
Mike: “This section is known as the Dormitory. It’s essentially a giant apartment complex. The building houses about 90% of the station’s citizens. A docking hangar near the middle allows small transport ships to drop off newly arriving workers.”

Mike: “The section above the Dormitory is home to two service hangars where ships can be repaired. This repair bay is home to several LIU Deep Space Repair Ships that service larger ships.”

Doog: “I know this logo, this is Galactic Express.”
Mike: “Yep. GalEx has its company headquarters here on Vnam Multas. This company specializes in moving smaller freight and mail throughout the LIU Galaxy. GalEx has six docking hangars on this station where freight is sorted and shipped out.”

Mike: “Another shipping company, Trans Farms, sits above GalEx. This company specializes in shipping perishable food items around the galaxy. You can see a refrigerated cargo ship sitting on the company’s extended landing platform.”

Mike: “This section is known as the Condominium. It houses the other 10% of the station’s population. The people here are mostly elite citizens, company CEO’s, and upper management. It too has its own extended landing platform.”

Mike: “The section above the condo’s is a factory owned by the company, Darhun Pharmaceuticals. Darhun Pharmaceuticals is a massive polluter, and it is too dangerous to keep on the surface of a planet. Here on the station, the company can release its noxious chemical byproducts directly into space. The company is connected to the rest of the station with heavy duty airlocks, and it has its own supply of air and water. The company has three armored hangars where it can safely load and ship its expensive line of vaccinations.”

Doog: “Is that a Blue Wave Mall?”
Mike: “Yep. The mall has a three star hotel, a diverse selection of restaurants, and several shops. It’s the commercial center of Vnam Multas. Both permanent residents and guests take advantage of the mall’s food, products, and lodging.”

Mike: “Uh, can’t quite remember what the place above the mall is. I think it’s some type of chemical factory, but I can’t be for sure.”
Doog: “World class reporting Mike. Way to instill trust in the viewers.”
Mike: “Whatever Doog. I’m sure they’re not expecting much when they watch your show.”

Doog: “Please tell me you know what this place is? Otherwise we might as well quit now.”
Mike: “As a matter of fact, I do. This is Gravitas, a company that specializes in making products in zero gravity. The building is gravity shielded, so it doesn’t experience the artificial gravity the other sections do.”
Doog: “What do they produce that requires zero gravity?”
Mike: “Mostly starship instruments: gravity calibrators and generators, inertia monitors, force dampeners.”

Doog: “Hey, I know this place too. It’s Honest Bob’s Warehousing. It’s based out of Lacunar Urbs A.”
Mike: “Yep. It’s based out of Lacunar Urbs A, but Vnam Multas has one of its largest warehouses. This two deck monstrosity extends deeper into the station than most of the others, comprising about 25% of the station’s upper deck. It stores several billion tons of cargo until it is ready to be shipped out. It employs a staggering amount of people, close to one million workers. They work around the clock stacking, sorting, and monitoring all this cargo.”
Doog: “Interesting.”

Mike: “LIU Cargo is the largest industry here on Vnam Multas. This division of LIU Cargo moves more freight than almost any other division, the exception being Mercor.”
Doog: “Look. You can see a large crane unloading cargo containers from a large freighter.”
Mike: "Yep. Cargo ships from all the surrounding hyperspace routes converge here to deliver cargo. It is then distributed where it is needed. A lot of the cargo here ends up being shipped to Mordax, where it is then exported out of the LIU Galaxy. The LIU Cargo facility extends deep into the station, making it the largest section of the lower deck. At one point, Honest Bob’s Warehouse and LIU Cargo intersect, and large elevators are able to move cargo between the facilities. You can see a few floors of office space above the cargo hangar. This houses the control tower. The tower monitors the traffic surrounding the station, tracks cargo, and oversees cargo operations. LIU Cargo is the largest employer on the Vnam Multas Station, employing more than 10% of the population.”

Mike: “This section is the Vnam Multas Administration Center. Workers here handle all the daily activities that keep the station running. The center has two Fusion Star Chambers that power the entire station. They also handle water purification and waste disposal.”

Mike: “No starport would be complete without a fueling station, and Vnam Multas is no exception. A large Octan fueling port keep cargo ships charged and ready to go. A large structure juts out the side of the building allowing larger ships to fuel, and two small airlocks on the top allow smaller ships to dock and fuel.”

Doog: “Is that a digital billboard?”
Mike: “Yes. Honest Bob’s Warehousing extends into this section of the station, so no business could be placed here. Instead, a large digital billboard was built. With millions and millions of travelers passing this station, it’s an excellent way to advertise to a wide audience.”

Mike: “This part of the lower deck is divided into three smaller sections: a police station, a division of Asteroid Bank, and a medical center. The police station helps enforce traffic regulations and protects the station. Asteroid Bank offers ATM’s for its customers and handles all the station’s employees’ bank accounts. The medical center provides medical care to the station’s residents. It also provides emergency medical assistance to passing ships using its fleet of LIU Medevac STS’s.”

Mike: “The upper section above the medical facility is home to LIU Security Transport. Security Transport specializes in moving high value cargo, like money, jewels, and precious metals. Their fleet of armored cargo ships keep these shipments safe from robbers and space pirates.”
Doog: “Is that about it? We’ve flown around the station so many times, I’m starting to get dizzy.”
Mike: “Yeah, I guess. I can’t think of anything else.”

Doog: “Well folks, there you have it. An entire episode shot from inside the Magellan. An entire episode based off the knowledge of my friend Mike, who once read a book on the subject. I can’t attest to anything he’s said, but if any of it is true, Vnam Multas is an important part of the LIU. See ya next time…when we’ll have a real episode…”

Note:

Oldie: “If you girls are done working, let the beat down commence!”

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 21 - Etesia

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Season 5 - Episode 19 - Afa Nebula

8/11/2015

2 Comments

LIU Atlas - Afa Nebula

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Afa Nebula

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we are visiting the Afa Nebula, a diffuse nebula approximately 20 light years across. The nebula is a stellar nursery, and it is home to many newly formed stars. Unfortunately, these new stars have yet to form any stable planetary bodies, and there are no habitable planets within the nebula. Despite the lack of planets, the nebula is not devoid of life.”

Doog: “The Afa Nebula is home to millions of spaced-based organisms known as Pingue. These ‘space whales’ glide through the nebula, feeding on the abundant minerals and gases present here. These creatures are massive, roughly the same size as a large capital ship. We’ll need to be careful maneuvering the Magellan through the nebula. A Pingue could easily swallow our small ship.”

Doog: “The Pingue are filter feeders. Their large mouths help capture the diffuse particles of the nebula. Their large teeth help to break up larger chunks of minerals. They’d also do a pretty good number on our ship Hugo! Not so close!”

Doog: “A small space station sits deep within the heart of the nebula. That’s where we’re headed.”

Doc: “Come on in. Welcome to Podex Station. You must be Doog. I’m Doctor Jonah, one of four biologists stationed here.”
Doog: “Biologists huh? What brings you out here to the middle of nowhere? Studying Pingues?
Doc: “Actually, the Pingue have already been studied extensively. We’re here to apply that knowledge and harvest the Pingue.”
Doog: “Harvest?”
Doc: “Yes, the Pingue roe, or eggs, are a delicacy. Unfortunately, these eggs are internal, so we have to go inside the creature to obtain them.”
Doog: “You go inside the Pingue?!”
Doc: “Yes, follow me.”

Doc: “The Podex Station is mobile. It’s our insertion method. Unfortunately, it’s too dangerous to enter through the Pingue’s mouth, so he have to enter through the anus.”
Doog: “You’ve got to be kidding me. We’re going to enter the creature’s anus?”
Doc: “It’s not as bad as it sounds. The Pingue are a silicon-based species. They eat the rocky dust and debris in the nebula. They add these materials into their biology, so there is no solid waste. The anus is for expelling the abundant hydrogen and helium gases in the nebula. This expelled gas also propels the Pingue through the nebula.”
Doog: “Fart propulsion?”
Doc: “Haha. You could put it that way.”

Susie: “Sir, I’m picking up a RFID signal from a female Pingue about 10,000 miles from here. The last harvest date was six months ago. She should be ready for harvesting.”
Doc: “Great. Move us into position.”
Susie: “10-4. Getting myself into position for anal insertion.”
Biologists: “Hehehe!”
Susie: “Come on! Do you guys have to giggle every time I say that?”

Doc: “Is it in yet?”
Susie: “Yep. Insertion has been successful.”
Doc: “Alright. We don’t have a lot of time. Let’s get suited up.”

Doog: “Anything I need to know before we go in?”
Doc: “It’s going to be dark. So, stay close. Our suits have built in lights. Also, there is very little gravity inside the Pingue. Take slow deliberate steps. We can’t have you crashing into vital organs once inside.”

Doog: “It’s official folks. I’m inside the anus of another creature. And I didn’t have to pay anything. It’s not what I expected Doc. It’s pretty clean.”
Doc: “Like I was saying before. The Pingue don’t have solid waste, only gaseous waste. The majority of the nebula is made up of hydrogen and helium gas. Great for making stars, but of little use to the Pingue. The gas is expelled.”

Doc: “We need to be quick and exit the digestive system. Gas is building up and we need to remotely pilot the Podex Station away from the Pingue. We can’t move the station until we exit the digestive system otherwise we’ll be blown out into space.”
Doog: “With my luck, that’s how I’d die. Farted out across the galaxy.”

Doc: “Alright, we’re inside one of the Pingue’s many stomachs. These wing-like organs agitate the air in the stomach pushing any solid particles against the stomach wall. It’s an ingenious solution to digestion in zero gravity.”

Doc: “We’ll exit the digestive system through the stomach wall. Go ahead and begin cutting.”

Jim: “Alright, we’re through. Let’s continue on.”
Susie: “I’m sending the signal to the Podex’s computer now. Hopefully the station will be able to pull out in time. Let’s get out of here.”

Doc: “Alright Doog, we’ve exited the digestive system. The ovaries are not far now. They are located in the back half of the Pingue.”
Doog: “What are these organs here?”

Doc: “This is a heart cluster. The Pingue have several smaller hearts instead of one large central one. In low gravity, moving blood takes a lot more work. We can follow the creature’s arteries to larger organs. Shouldn’t be far.

Doog: “Is this an ovary?”
Doc: “No, this can best be described as a gizzard. When the creature swallows larger particles, the stomach wall can not digest them by osmosis. Instead they get moved to one of the creature’s many gizzards. The gizzards have silicate crystals inside that grind against the larger particles and break them down.”

Doog: “What are you doing?”
Doc: “We’re here for the Pingue’s eggs, but we’ll collect some silicate crystals as well. They’re quite valuable. Might as well grab them while we’re here.”

Doc: “We’ll only take a few. If we take too many, the creature may die.”

Doc: “Ah, finally here.”
Doog: “This is an ovary?”
Doc: “Yep. This organ makes millions of eggs. They are dispersed throughout the nebula.”
Doog: “And people actually eat these?”
Doc: “Yes. Most silicon-based organisms are inedible to carbon-based creatures like ourselves. The eggs of the Pingue are an exception.”

Doc: “We’ll collect as many as we can. We should be able to get several hundred pounds. On the open market, our haul could be worth millions of credits.”
Doog: “At that price, I’m assuming I won’t get to try any when we get back.”
Doc: “Not unless you’ve recently won the lottery.”

Doog: “Well folks, the Afa Nebula is an interesting place. Despite having no planets, the nebula is rich with life. The Pingue are massive creatures that have evolved to survive the frozen vacuum of space. Surprisingly, workers actually go inside of these huge creatures and harvest their eggs. Well, see ya next time.”

Note:
Attempts to relocate Pingue to the LIU Galaxy’s other nebulas have failed. It appears the Afa Nebula has a higher concentration of Silicon, a necessary component in the Pingue anatomy.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 20 - Vnam Multas

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Season 5 - Episode 18 - Ruber Hiems

8/11/2015

3 Comments

LIU Atlas - Ruber Hiems

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Ruber Hiems

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the planet Ruber Hiems. Ruber Hiems is a circumbinary planet, meaning it orbits around the outside of a binary star system. The binary system is made up of two stars: Tepore, a Class G main sequence star, and Alsus, a Class M red giant star. Ruber Hiems is subject to extreme seasonal changes as it approaches various areas of its orbit.”

Doog: “Alright, I’ve been dropped off at a small village on the planet’s surface. Despite the strange conditions here, Ruber Hiems is habitable. The natives are just staring at me, and I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable. They don’t seem to speak basic. Strangely, they seem to resemble the Tironians from Tironis. I wonder if they are related somehow. I’ll have to ask my guide whenever they decide to show up.”

Scolaris: “Ah, you must be Doog. I am Scolaris, Scion of Nabu, Linguistic Expert, Cultural Researcher, and World Class Flamenco Dancer."
Doog: “ You‘re one of the Encyclopedians, aren’t you? If your distinctive look doesn’t give it away, your annoying habit of listing all your titles sure does.”
Scolaris: “Yes. I am one of the Scions of Nabu. I am on a knowledge quest, seeking to learn all there is about this planet. I have been here over three years researching the local race, the Hiemiens.”
Doog: “The Hiemiens sure look a lot like the Tironians.”
Scolaris: “Yes, I am aware of this phenomena. The Hiemiens and the Tironians share almost 75% of their genes, too much to be a coincidence. But they also have many differences, including locomotion and the atmosphere that they breathe. I’ve developed two theories: the Hiemiens and the Tironians are the ancestors of a space-faring progenitor that seeded this part of the galaxy, or they are an extreme case of convergent evolution. There’s not a lot of evidence either way. It’s part of my studies here.”
Doog: “Hmm, I love a good mystery. So, what can you tell me about the Hiemiens?”

Scolaris: “Well, they are an agricultural race. They farm many of the planet’s exotic fruits and vegetables. They appear to have limited amounts of technology, but nothing too advanced. They seem to reproduce asexually.”
Doog: “Where’s the fun it that? Oh, here they come. Hello guys or gals or its. Whatever you are.”
Scolaris: “They don’t speak basic Doog. They have their own language, a highly inflected language with no distinct genders or tenses.”
Glo’p: “Hoæe li nam se pridružiti u slavlju? Crveno sunce pristupa.”
Scolaris: “Da. Bili bismo sretni da vam se pridruži. Well Doog, it looks like we’ve been invited to a feast. The Hiemiens are celebrating the approach of the star Alsus.”
Doog: “The red giant? I’ve noticed the sky getting more red.”
Scolaris: “Yes. The planet has moved into the Alsus stage of its orbit. It can best be described as ‘winter‘. It’s easier to understand if you can see it in person. Let’s head to the orrery.”

Doog: “This is an orrery? What is it?”
Scolaris: “An orrery is a mechanical representation of the solar system. Despite never setting foot off their planet, the Hiemiens are excellent astronomers. They’ve created this precise representation of their solar system. It allows them to prepare for the various seasons. The two stars orbit in the middle of the system. Their orbit is extremely slow, completing a full revolution every thousand years. Ruber Hiems orbit’s the binaries much quicker making a full orbit just under four galactic standard years. In my time here, I have yet to see a full revolution. Although I’m only a few months away.”
Doog: “So this is where Ruber Hiems is now?”
Scolaris: “No, I’ve asked the Hiemiens’ astronomer to move the device so you can get a feel for the system‘s seasons. When Ruber Hiems is in the position shown here, it is close to Tepore. Tepore is much warmer and brighter
than Alsus. This period of the orbit is known as summer.”

Scolaris: “As Ruber Hiems orbits further along its orbit, it gets farther from Tepore and closer to Alsus. The temperature gets cooler, the light gets dimmer, and the sky starts to turn red. This is known as autumn.”

Scolaris: “This is our current location. We are much closer to Alsus than Tepore. It is much cooler, dimmer, and the sky is turning more and more red. Only a small amount of Tepore’s light reaches the planet. We are at the precipice of winter.”

Scolaris: “In just a few hours, Alsus will eclipse Tepore, and we’ll officially experience one of Ruber Hiems’ winters. The planet will be behind Alsus almost six months.”
Doog: “What does that mean for the Hiemiens?”
Scolaris: “I’m not entirely sure. This will be my first winter. I believe the temperatures will drop considerably. Alsus’ red light will not provide sufficient energy for photosynthesis, so the plant life may die or go into hibernation. It may be why we are having a feast, to eat the last of the crop before winter. I guess we’ll see.”

Doog: “As Scolaris and I venture back to the village, we’ve come across some of the Hiemiens’ agriculture. What’s this Scolaris?”

Scolaris: “The Hiemiens’ farm some very exotic fruits and vegetables. They are really quite tasty. They also have lots of nutrients.”
Doog: “And the LIU uses these fruits?”
Scolaris: “No, the LIU has no permanent presence here as of yet. They are still waiting for my economic feasibility study. I’ll need a few solar cycles to figure it out.”

Doog: “Alright, looks like the feast is beginning. Is it safe to eat?”
Scolaris: “In moderation. Some of the fruits’ advanced sugars may not be compatible with your biology in large amounts.”
Glo’p: “Pridružite nam se.”

Doog: “Hey, this isn’t all that bad. Thanks guys."
Scolaris: “Puno hvala.”

Doog: “Uh oh, what’s happening! This stuff is making my eyes see red!”
Scolaris: “It’s not the food. It’s the eclipse. It’s starting!”
Glo’p: “U hram!”

Doog: “What’s going on Scolaris? Where are we going?”
Scolaris: “They’re headed to the village’s temple. I’ve never been inside before. Perhaps there is some ceremony or something? Maybe it’s shelter.”

Glo’p: “Vrijeme za hibernaciju.”
Scolaris: “They’re headed inside. Let’s follow. Aren’t you exited?”
Doog: “I think the appropriate word is terrified. What if we get trapped inside?”

Doog: “Alright folks, we’ve descended some stairs and we are inside of some type of temple.”
Glo’p: “Neka nas pripremiti.”

Doog: “This is awkward. They’re all taking off their clothes. And, what the heck, are they some type of slug?”
Scolaris: “I told you they have a different form of locomotion than the Tironians.”

Scolaris: “Doog, what are you doing! Put your clothes back on!”
Doog: “Sorry, just a habit. I’m a follower.”

Scolaris: “Something is happening!”
Doog: “It looks like the floor is moving up.”

Doog: “What in Kaadu’s name is that?”
Scolaris: “Wow! It looks like some type of stasis pod or hibernation chamber. The Hiemiens must sleep through the winter inside.”

Scolaris: “This is way beyond their level of technology. The progenitors must have left it here. This certainly lends credence to the progenitor theory. Amazing.”
Doog: “Yeah, that’s great. I’m a big fan of sleep, but I think we ought to leave now. I don’t want to be stuck here for months.”
Scolaris: “I‘m staying. You can leave.”

Doog: “Well folks, Ruber Hiems is an interesting place. It’s unique orbit around two binary stars gives it strange seasons. The food is good, and oh yeah, it may be the first evidence that an advanced space-faring race seeded parts of the galaxy. Well, see ya next time.”

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 19 - Afa Nebula

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Season 5 - Episode 17 - Eruca System

8/11/2015

2 Comments

LIU Atlas - Eruca System

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Eruca System

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today we’re visiting the Eruca System, a star system in the LIU Galaxy’s Deep Core. Like most systems in the crowded Deep Core, Eruca did not have sufficient material in its circumstellar accretion disk to form planets. Instead, the system is populated with numerous smaller bodies, like comets. These comets, which consist primarily of water and ammonia ices, release valuable particles as they approach their star.”

Doog: “Because these particles are an important source of fuel, an Octan Fuel Refinery was placed into orbit around Eruca. This space station processes and stores fuels.”

Doog: “The station is divided into three sections: the top section is a storage tank, the middle contains processing facilities, and the lower section contains administration offices and housing for the stations forty thousand workers.”

Doog: “Various LIU tanker ships visit the station daily and transport fuels across the galaxy. Alright, we’ve been given clearance to enter the facility.”

Doog: “I’ve been dropped off inside one the station’s hangar bays. My first observation is that these guys spared no expense when it came to corporate branding. This place screams Octan. Octan, as I’m sure you’re aware, is an LIU owned company. It handles all the LIU’s fuel needs. Now, I’ve dealt with Octan workers before, so I’m not expecting much from my guide. Hopefully, he can speak in complete sentences. It would be a step up.”

Papilio: “Doog? Welcome to the Eruca Refining Station. I’m Dr. Papilio, lead station scientist.”
Doog: “Doctor? Scientist? I thought all you Octan guys were fuel sniffing degenerates.”
Papilio: “Hardly. I have doctorates in chemistry and astrophysics, and a minor in Particle Propulsion Engineering.
Unfortunately, some of the lower ranking members of Octan have given us all a bad name.”
Doog: “So there’s no fuel sniffers here?”
Papilio: “Not to my knowledge. We handle ion-based fuels here, not hydrocarbon fuels. Sniffing ion fuel wouldn’t alter one’s perception; it would only alter their status as living or dead.”
Doog: “Gotcha. So shall we continue?”
Papilio: “Yes. We’re in the lower section of the station, I figured we’d visit the control room first.”

Papilio: “This is our control room where we monitor all the system’s major comets.”
Doog: “What’s so important about comets?”

Papilio: “Well, comets, when exposed to Eruca’s radiation, heat up and begin outgassing. This forms a thin atmosphere around the comet known as the coma. Eruca’s prevailing solar winds apply force to the coma and form a long tail that points away from the star.”
Doog: “I may not have all your fancy degrees, but I know what a comet is. I asked what is important about them.”
Papilio: “I’m getting there. Most of the comets we harvest consist of water ice, so their tail is usually of combination of water and dust. Photodissocation and photoionization convert the H2O molecules in the tail into H3O+, or Hydronium.”
Doog: “And that’s important how?”
Papilio: “Well, Hydronium is a positively charged polyatomic ion, a type of oxonium ion.”
Doog: Blink, Blink
Papilio: “It’s an ion, and we make ion-based fuels. Well, technically natural forces make the ions, we just harvest them.”
Doog: “That makes more sense.”

Papilio: “In order to harvest the comets’ tails, we need to track them. Comets don’t form a distinctive tail until they get within three or four AU of the star. This horizontal screen shows our radar tracking. It looks like we have four comets within this range.”
Doog: “So what’s next?”
Papilio: “We can head up to one of the service hangars and take a look at some of the collectors.”
Doog: “Sounds good.”

Doog: “What are these guys doing?”
Papilio: “Oh, that’s one of our call centers. They receive orders for fuel and arrange shipments.”

Papilio: “Ah, here we are.”

Papilio: “This is one of our standard collectors, the LIU Mag Scoop. We have a fleet of about five hundred of them. It looks like this unit has been taken out of the field for repairs. Flying behind comets can be hard on the collectors, especially when larger chucks break away.”

Doog: “How do they work?”
Papilio: “The LIU Mag Scoop has eight magnetic discs that form large, looping magnetic fields. This fields trap ions and transport them to storage tanks. They simply fly behind the comet.”
Doog: “It’s not very big. It must not cover a lot of ground.”
Papilio: “The ship itself isn’t very big, but the magnetic fields they create are rather large, about fifty times larger than the ship itself. Factor that in with the amount of collectors we have, and we’re collecting several million tons of ions every week.”

Doog: “So, how do ions translate into fuel?”
Papilio: “They are used in ion drives. Electromagnetic forces eject ions out of the thruster. In space, where there is no friction, it’s an efficient form of sub-light transportation. Your ship might even utilize ion drives.
Doog: “The Magellan? Maybe. All I know is she has some energy cells. And the inside smells like a Kaadu fart.”
Papilio: “Energy cells probably power your FTL drive, but who knows what you use for sub-light movement. There are a lot of forms of propulsion.”

Doog: “What’s going on here?”
Papilio: “Most of our ion fuel is delivered in massive tankers, but we also bottle individual tanks for our smaller customers.”

Papilio: “Not a lot to see here, just your standard automated assembly line. Here’s a fun fact, the ions are transported in a inert gas, in this case, Xenon.”
Doog: “I experienced zero fun with that fact Doc.”
Papilio: “Ok. Well what about this? Do you know how the Eruca System got its name?”
Doog: “Uh, no.”
Papilio: “The first travelers in this region imaged Eruca from afar. When they looked at the images, all they could see where glowing streaks of light inching around everywhere. They thought they were space caterpillars! Sounds stupid now, as we all know they were just seeing the system’s abundant comets.”
Doog: “Yep. Still not having any fun. Nice try though, Doc.”

Papilio: “The filled containers are transported with our Loader to pallets and then shipped out.”

Papilio: “As I’m sure you saw during your approach, most of our fuel is moved by larger tanker ships, specifically the LIU Supertanker Mark II.”

Papilio: “This tanker is capable of transporting enormous amounts of fuel.”
Doog: “Anything else to add?”
Papilio: “No, that’s it. Not much to making ion-based fuels, especially when the comets do most of the work!”

Doog: “Well folks, the Eruca System is an interesting place. By harvesting the system’s comets, Octan workers are able to make Hydronium, a sub-light propulsion fuel. This fuel is used to navigate space when the ship is not traveling at faster than light speeds. Well, see ya next time.”

Note: Geography Lesson: Regions of the LIU Galaxy

Red: Deep Core
Purple: Inner Rim (Sometimes referred to as Outer Core)
Green: Mid Rim
Blue: Outer Rim

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 18 - Ruber Hiems

2 Comments

Season 5 - Episode 16 - Alvearium

8/11/2015

4 Comments

LIU Atlas - Alvearium

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Alvearium

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today we’re visiting the planet Alvearium. Alvearium is a dry desert planet with a toxic atmosphere. The thick, yellow clouds that comprise the atmosphere consists primarily of sulfur dioxide and droplets of sulfuric acid. Only the planet’s tallest peaks rise above the toxic clouds. That’s where we’re headed.”

Doog: “Alright, I’ve been dropped off at a small building on top of one of Alvearium’s mountains. Here, we are higher than the cloud line. The atmosphere here is slightly less corrosive, but extremely thin.”

Doog: “Radiation from Alvearium’s sun easily penetrates the thin atmosphere here, so the facility we’re visiting is located inside the mountain. Only the airlock is visible. Now, if I can just find the door to this thing.”

Doog: “Oh, what do you know? An airlock with an elevator. I like this place.”

Carmen: “Ah, you must be Doog. I’m Lieutenant Carmen Flores, commanding officer of the Epsilon Procurement Squadron.”
Doog: “Pleasure to meet you. Say, are you by chance single?”
Carmen: “Don’t bother. There’s only one thing I love, and that’s my job.”
Doog: “Oh, ok. Better to get shot down early. So what’s your job?”
Carmen: “My squadron explores the depths of Alvearium, researches the native life, and procures some of the resources they possess.”

Doog: “You sure have a lot of guns for a group of explorers and researchers…”
Carmen: “The native life is less that cooperative with our mission here. While we are safe up here, above the cloud line, the surface is a dangerous place. It has been classified an Active Conflict Zone. Which means I will be required to arm you when visit the surface.”
Doog: “Sweet!”
Carmen: “There are other dangers on the surface besides the native life. The atmosphere is thick and acidic. The atmospheric pressure is much higher than standard, and only 20% of the light that shines here makes it through to the surface. I hope your suit is rated for Type IV environments.”
Doog: “I think so, but I guess we’ll find out…”

Doog: “Wow. Nice suits.”
Carmen: “Thanks. They were specifically designed for Alvearium’s atmosphere. We have rebreathers to conserve our limited oxygen supply, pressure gauges, and communication arrays. We’re dependent on line of sight communication. Satellite signals can not penetrate the atmosphere. Also, you’ll notice my helmet emits light. It helps me see, and helps my men find my location. Alright, here’s your weapon.”
Doog: “What! This tiny guy?”
Carmen: “With your level of training and general ineptitude, this is the only thing we feel safe giving you. It’s better than nothing.”
Doog: “You’ve read my file, huh?”
Carmen: “Yes. Now, let’s get a move on. Epsilon Squadron, MOVE OUT!”

Carmen: “To descend below the cloud line, we’ll need to repel down the mountain side. Are you comfortable with that?”
Doog: “Descending is the easy part. I’m worried about the return trip…”

Carmen: “Alright. Time to drop below the cloud line. Safeties off. We’re entering the ACZ.”
Doog: “ACZ?”
Carmen: “Active Conflict Zone. Try to pay attention.”

Carmen: “Keep your eyes peeled. The natives don’t usually venture out into the open, but you can never be too careful.”
Doog: “You’re right. It’s much darker down here. Good news though, my suit hasn’t melted off yet, so I guess it’s going to hold up.”
Carmen: “Don’t worry about the dark. Follow the beacons we’ve laid out. As long as you stay close to these lights, you’ll be ok. This doesn’t really help you, but the beacons emit radio signals too. My squadron can use our suit’s communication array to locate a beacon.”
Doog: “You’re breaking up? Did you say bacon? I’ll take some bacon!”

Doog: “What’s that?”
Carmen: “This is the entrance to the hive we designated as JH-347. It’s our target for today.”
Doog: “Hive?!”
Carmen: “Yes, Alvearium is home to an insectoid race. They build large hives in the planet’s crust. Let‘s head inside.”

Doog: “When you say insectoids, we’re not talking about spiders, are we?”
Carmen: “No, if I had to classify them, I’d say they are more in the beetle family.”
Doog: “Whew!”
Carmen: “The ‘bugs’ as we call them, eat a bacterium found in the planet’s crust. This bacteria is chemotropic, meaning it doesn’t need sunlight to survive. Instead, they derive energy from oxidizing the abundant sulfur. This process results in leftover sulfuric acid. You’ll see some draining out of the wall over there. Do me a favor, don’t touch it.”
Doog: “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

Carmen: “Shhh! We’ve found a hive cluster.”
Doog: “A hive cluster?”
Carmen: “Shhh! Yes, the bugs farm this bacteria in little hexagonal cells that resemble honeycomb. They place there young in these cells to feed on the bacteria. It looks like they have just started building this cluster. Not all the cells are filled yet. Rico, flank them to the left.”

Doog: “Are they sentient?”
Carmen: “We’re not too sure. They can’t speak. They don’t possess vocal chords or any kind of air bladder. They appear to communicate via pheromones. Since we have no evidence otherwise, we prefer to label them non-sentient.”
Doog: “Prefer? Why?”
Carmen: “Because if they were sentient, I’d feel bad about doing this. OPEN FIRE!”

Rico: “Got em!”
Carmen: “Nice shooting boys!”
Doog: “You…you just shot them?”
Carmen: “Do you ever hesitate to kill a bug at home? Do you contemplate a spiders sentience before smashing it with a shoe?”
Doog: “No, I guess not.”

Carmen: “Secure the area. We need to search the cluster quickly. The bugs may have released alarm pheromones prior to their death.”

Doog: “Search? What are you looking for?
Carmen: “We’re looking for grubs, the larva stage of the bugs development.”

Rico: “I don’t see anything here Lieutenant. This cluster is too fresh. The bacteria is still in crystalline form. It hasn’t been broken down yet.”
Carmen: “Any eggs?”
Rico: “Nope.”
Carmen: “Alright, let’s continue…wait! I’m picking up thermo disturbances in my peripheral. WE’VE GOT COMPANY!”

Carmen: “Doog, get out of the way! You’re in my line of fire! Doog!”
Doog: “I…I…I…wha..wha..”
ZAP ZAP

Carmen: “Wow, nice shooting Doog. You got one. Doog?”
ZAP
Doog: “That’s for the time you ruined my picnic!”
ZAP
Doog: “That’s for the time you made me scream like a girl on that date!”
ZAP
Doog: “That’s for that web I walked through the other day!”
ZAP
Doog: “That’s for…”
Carmen: “Calm down Doog. They’re not spiders. And I think it’s more than dead.”

Carmen: “Oh, we’ve found another cluster. This one is bigger, and it has a Nestling. There has to be grubs here!”

Doog: “Nestling?”
Carmen: “Yes. The bigger bright green beetle. Early in the larva stage, certain proteins activate that determine whether the grub becomes a nestling or a drone. The smaller guys we’ve been seeing are drones. The larger are Nestlings. The Nestling tend to the cluster and process the crystalline bacteria into a liquid. This liquid is used to feed the grubs.”
Doog: “Gotcha. So it’s murdering time?
Carmen: “You know it. OPEN FIRE!”

Carmen: “Concentrate your fire on the nestling!!”

Carmen: “Good work guys. Now, tell me we found something good!”

Doog: “There’s definitely something wriggling in these honeycombs.”

Rico: “Bingo! We’ve got grubs!”
Carmen: “Alright! Let’s get to processing before reinforcements arrive.”
Doog: “Processing?”

Carmen: “Yes. The grubs have an unique solution in their gut to break down the bacteria. This solution is used to make antibacterial agents. It‘s used as a food preservative.”
Doog: “Gross.”
Carmen: “We simply cut off their heads and drain out the solution. A cluster like this will yield a few gallons. There are units like mine spread all over this world, and as a group, we process several thousand gallons a day. Best part is, it a renewable resource, as long as we don‘t kill too many.”
Doog: “Interesting. Seems like a lot of danger for some food preservatives, but what do I know. Anything else?”
Carmen: “Nope.”

Doog: “Well folks, Alvearium is an interesting place. Small military units raid insect hives to procure food preservatives. They go in, kill anyone in sight, rip their babies out of their homes, cut their heads off, and drain out their insides. Let’s hope they aren’t sentient, cause otherwise, that sounds mighty disturbing! We’ll, see ya next time!”

Note:
Programs to farm the Alvearium grub off-world have failed, as they require too unique of conditions.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 17 - Eruca System

4 Comments

Season 5 - Episode 15 - Cunabula

8/11/2015

3 Comments

LIU Atlas - Cunabula

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Cunabula

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Onboard the Magellan:

Mike: “Check this out Doog.”
Doog: “What is it?”
Mike: “Well, I was plotting our next destination, and, well, take a look.”
Doog: “Hmm, looks like we’re crossing the through the galaxy’s Omega Arm.”
Mike: “Yep, through the mid-rim as well. It‘s only a few parsecs out of the way.”
Doog: “Do you think Oldie will go for it?”
Mike: “There’s only one way to find out.”
Doog: “OLDIE!”

Oldie: “You don’t have to scream! I’ve told you a hundred times, I haven’t lost my hearing yet.”
Doog: “What are you wearing?”
Oldie: “Huh? You’ll have to speak up.”
Doog: “I said what are you wearing?”
Oldie: “Oh, don’t mind me; it’s laundry day.”
Doog: “I was referring to your suspenders clipped to your underwear.”
Oldie: “Well, why not? I can’t have my underwear falling down. Now why did you call me? I‘m trying to get some rest.”
Doog: “We were wondering if we can make an unscheduled stop. Me and Mike’s homeworld, Cunabula, is only a few parsecs out of the way.”
Oldie: “I don’t know…we don’t really have a lot of time…”
Doog: “My grandma makes the best pony soup…”

Oldie: “Well, let’s get a move on! What are you whippersnappers waiting for!!”

Doog: “Well folks, we’ve decided to make an impromptu stop at the planet Cunabula. Both Mike and I are grew up here. Most of our family has moved away over the years, but my grandma still lives here. We’re hoping to stop in and take advantage of some of her hospitality. It would be nice to eat a home cooked meal. Cunabula is your average, run of the mill planet. It’s temperate, with forests, grasslands, and a large ocean. The southern hemisphere is dedicated to agriculture, while the northern hemisphere supports light industry. This industry, which manufactures fashion accessories, is based out of the planet’s largest city, Orsa. If there’s a bright center to the galaxy, Cunabula is the place that makes sunglasses for it.”

Doog: “Orsa is a moderately large city with a population around twenty million. Most of the residents here work in the nearby factories. It’s an older city, but still has a lot of charm.”

Doog: “We’re currently in the residential district where tightly packed apartment complexes dominate the city. This one straight ahead, is my grandma’s place.”
Mike: “Man, I miss this place. Your grandma’s house was like my second home.”
Doog: “Me too. My grandma practically raised me. We spent a lot of years running around this joint.”

Doog: “Let’s hope the elevators working, we’re headed to the 54th floor.”
Oldie: “If it means pony soup, I’ll scale the outside of the building!”

Gma: “Who’s here! Don’t make me get my laser pistol!”
Doog: “Relax grandma, it’s me Doog.”
Gma: “Terrance! Oh, I missed you so much. What are you doing here?”

Doog: “Well, we were in the area and had a few hours to burn. We were hoping you’d make some of your famous pony soup.”
Gma: “We? Oh! Look, you brought your whole crew. Hello boys!”
Crew: “Hello!”
Oldie: “Don’t leave us hanging! Are we getting pony soup or not?!”
Gma: “Of course! Come on in.”

Doog: “Quit pushing Oldie! There’s room for everyone!”

Gma: “So, what have you boys been up to?”
Doog: “Oh, the usual. Traveling and making TV.”
Gma: “You’re still doing that?”
Doog: “Yes, haven’t you been watching?”
Gma: “Sorry hun, LIU Atlas is on the same time as my soaps…”

Gma: “Alright, are you boys ready for some soup?”
Oldie: “Just leave the pot over here!”

Twenty Minutes Later…

Gma: “Wow, you guys must have been hungry. And you did the dishes too!”
Mike: “You might want to rewash those.”
Doog: “Yeah, we didn’t technically wash them. Oldie just licked them clean.”
Oldie: “Mmmm!”
Gma: “Well, if you have a few minutes, I got out some old pictures of Doog.”
Doog: “Uh, I’m not sure..”
Mike: “We have plenty of time!”
Cam: “This is going to be good!”

Cam: “Haha. What’s this one?”
Gma: “Ooh, that’s when Doog won a medal in first grade.”
Oldie: “Doog won a medal? Surely not for athletics.”
Mike: “And certainly not for academics.”
Gma: “Nope. He got it for keeping his pants on for an entire day at school. It was the first time since he started. And, as a matter of fact, it was the last time he accomplished that until he got to sixth grade.”
Crew: “Hahaha!”

Oldie: “Look at this one!”
Gma: “Ah, Doog’s first photo line-up at the local police station. Stealing prescription drugs from his principal. My Terrance, he was such a spirited little boy.”
Doog: “Hey, I was framed for that one!”

Mike: “Anything else? Anything we could use against him?”
Doog: “I think we’ve seen enough, I…”
Gma: “Well, there’s this one.”

Crew: “Haha!”
Cam: “What’s this?!”
Mike: “Are you wearing women’s clothing?”
Gma: “My sweet little Terrance used to love to dress up in his mom’s clothes. Such a funny kid.”
Mike: “Yeah, he’s funny alright.”
Doog: “Alright, alright! That’s enough!”

Doog: “Well, look at the time. We really need to get going.”
Gma: “Ah, that’s a shame. You should see his high school years.”
Doog: “No!”

Doog: “It was good to see you again grandma. Thanks for the food…and the endless amount of shame you have brought me.”
Crew: “Yeah, thanks Doog’s grandma!”
Gma: “Anytime boys. Come back and see me sometime.”
Doog: “Well folks, I’m a little embarrassed, but it was worth it. Nothing beats grandma’s cooking! See ya next time!”

Note:

Oldie: “Hey, you know, I’ve been looking for a nice young woman like yourself. A nice young woman who makes pony soup like that.”
Doog: “Stay away from my grandma Oldie!”

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 16 - Alvearium

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Season 5 - Episode 14 - Gemellus Mal

8/11/2015

1 Comment

LIU Atlas - Gemellus Mal

There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.

LIU Atlas - Gemellus Mal

The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.

Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.

Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, were visiting an asteroid known as Gemellus Mal. Gemellus Mal is lagrangian asteroid, meaning it is not located in an asteroid belt, but instead in the L4 point of the nearby gas planet Praebitor.”

Doog: “A large facility appears to have been built into the asteroid. Three hangar doors grace one side of the facility. We’re going to set the Magellan down here and head inside.”

Doog: “Alright, I’ve been dropped off inside the facility. This appears to be some sort of airlock. I can’t venture any further into the facility, so I’ll wait here for my guide.”

Cautus: “Not an airlock, it’s a grav-lock. Hello there. I’m Cautus, Chief Safety Officer for Gem-Mal Industries.”
Doog: “A grav-lock?”
Cautus: “Yes, this asteroid is small; its gravity is one sixteenth standard gravity. To make arrivals easier, we use gravity generators to compensate.”
Doog: “So, once were outside the grav-lock, we’ll only be experiencing one sixteenth gravity? Sweet.”

Cautus: “Not quite. We’ll be wearing magnetic boots like these. They’ll keep you adhered to the floor and simulate standard gravity. We can’t have you floating about, banging into our delicate equipment. I’ll get you some in a moment, but, before we continue, I need to brief you on evacuation procedures.”
Doog: “Sigh. Do we have to?”

Twenty Minutes Later…

Cautus: “Did you really have to fake yawn during my entire presentation?”
Doog: “Hey, those weren’t fake. You were literally putting me to sleep!”
Cautus: “Well, I hope you listened. It’s important stuff.”
Doog: “Let’s face it. If there’s a catastrophic failure, I’m too slow to make it out anyway. Especially with these awkward boots.”
Cautus: “Well, maybe. But I wish you would have taken my recommendation to wear a hard hat. I know it’s optional, but I don’t want to see you get a head injury.”
Doog: “Not much to protect in my head, Cautus.”

Doog: “So what can you tell me about this place?”
Cautus: “The facility produces antimatter, specifically antihydrogen.”
Doog: “Antihydrogen?”
Cautus: “Identical to hydrogen, but with an opposite charge. Instead of protons and electrons, antihydrogen has positrons and antiprotons. In laymen‘s terms, antihydrogen is hydrogen’s evil twin. When the two particles collide, they annihilate each other releasing high amounts of gamma rays and neutrinos.”
Doog: “So what is used for?”
Cautus: “It has lots of uses, power generation, propulsion systems, and weapons.”

Cautus: “This is our particle accelerator. It helps us produce antimatter.”
Doog: “It’s long. I can’t even see the end. By the way, that’s what she said.”
Cautus: “I’m sure she did. Especially the ‘can’t even see’ part. Anyway, the accelerator is a large circle with a circumference of approximately 20 miles. It wraps all the way around the asteroid.”

Cautus: “Hydrogen atoms are accelerated using electromagnetic fields until they approach the speed of light.”
Doog: “And that makes antimatter?”

Cautus: “No, the collision does. Follow me.”

Cautus: “Once the atoms reach max speed they are routed onto this linear track and smashed into one another inside this collider.”
Doog: “Reminds me of playing chicken on my hover bike as a child.”
Cautus: “There is a little more energy involved here, Doog.”

Cautus: “The collision creates several rare forms of exotic matter, including positrons and antiprotons. These particles are trapped in magnetic fields and combined into antimatter.”
Doog: “Easy as that huh?”
Cautus: “There’s some steps I may have glossed over. I’m the safety officer, not a scientist.”
Doog: “Fair enough. It’s the end result that matters anyway. So, what’s next?”

Cautus: “Magnetic fields force the antihydrogen down this tube to the collection chamber. Let’s head downstairs.”

Cautus: “Each collision only results in one atom of antimatter, so the accelerator must make millions of collisions a day to make any worthwhile amounts. After each collision, the antihydrogen drops down into the collection tank.”

Doog: “Wow, what’s this?”
Cautus: “This is it, the collector.”

Doog: “The antihydrogen is that red blob? And its just out in the open like that?”
Cautus: “It’s hardly in the open. It’s behind several layers of magnetic shielding. Inside the shield is a matter free zone. Don’t forget. Any matter that touches antimatter, or vice versa, will result in a high energy explosion.”

Doog: “What kind of explosion are we talking about?”
Cautus: “Well, a one kilogram collision between matter and antimatter will create an explosion of 180 petajoules, or the equivalent of a 27,000 kilogram thermonuclear weapon.”
Doog: “So a big one. A really big one.”
Cautus: “Considering there are thousands of kilograms of antimatter in the tank right now, we’re talking about the total destruction of this asteroid.”
Doog: “So, no touching, I presume.”

Cautus: “Obviously, hydrogen is a gas, and its counterpart is no different. Gas is harder to control, so we’ve compressed the antihydrogen into a liquid. It‘s also easier to ship in this form.”

Cautus: “Obviously you can’t just throw antihydrogen in a box and ship it out.”
Doog: “Obviously…wait, why not?”
Cautus: “Because it can’t touch matter! Geez, I’ve only said that a few hundred times.”
Doog: “Oh yeah, I do recall you saying something about that.”

Cautus: “Anyway, we designed special stasis containers to ship the antihydrogen. These boxes have there own power supply so they can maintain their own magnetic field.”

Cautus: “Auto-Loaders transport the containers. We can’t afford operator error.”

Doog: “That’s it?”
Cautus: “Yes, that’s our operation from start to finish.”

Doog: “Well folks, Gemellus Mal is a both a high-tech and high-risk place. Scientists here put their lives on the line to produce antihydrogen, a form of antimatter. This dangerous, but valuable form of matter is used in everything from propulsion systems to advanced weaponry. See ya next time!”

Notes:
1. Gemellus Mal was moved to its current location so that it would be closer to the gas planet Praebitor, an abundant source of hydrogen.

2. Gram for gram, antihydrogen is one of the most expensive substances in the universe.

3. Several years ago, the freighter Hard Money, which was carrying several tons of antihydrogen, suffered a containment failure, resulting in a massive gamma ray burst. The explosion could detected for millions of light years. It remains one of the most expensive accidents in LIU history.

4. The loss of the Hard Money forced the LIU to redesign its transporting containers and reevaluate its procedures involving the transportation of antihydrogen.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT EPISODE: Season 5 - Episode 15 - Cunabula

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